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Family and RP

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August 16, 2016
8 upvotes

Recent posts on the main sub are making me wonder how MRP ideas work with parents/siblings.

I grew up with a beta dad and a Catholic guilt wielding control freak of a mom. Frequently says stuff like "This would all be better if I just wasn't here.. you guys just want me to leave" so that we'll supplicate.

I moved back in with them 5 months ago to avoid a commute for my 6 month internship and also began taking the red pill. About a month in, shit got really bad so I just moved back to my place and commute to work. I went pretty red pill Rambo on my way out, instead of fogging and being aloof like I'd done before. Told them about what I was working on too - I fucked up.

Recently, I went with them and my brother for a trip to have family bonding. Mom pulls the same shit and so I ignored her while they supplicated. Back at the motel, she gets sad cause attention was elsewhere again and leaves crying. I suggest we let her soothe herself, and she'll come back. My dad suggests I "stop with the tough guy act," and chases after her.

Now I'm only 6 months in so my new attitude is going to seem like an act to the people that raised me. I am assertive, more muscular, and get shit done now but also tend to be too aggressive. Will this family dynamic change over the years as I improve and kill my ego? I am cutting contact to a minimum because I tend to revert or go Rambo when I'm around them and it fucks with my progress. I don't want to have to cut them off forever but will if I have to. My father allowing this behavior isn't my problem. However, I fucked up by telling them what I'm doing and DEERing here and there.

For reference, I'm 21 and taking things too quickly.

Edit: I think a better question would be once my value is high enough can I lead my family despite another man leading it the wrong way?


Post Information
Title Family and RP
Author blass_aster
Upvotes 8
Comments 16
Date 16 August 2016 04:54 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207235
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4xxtck/family_and_rp/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betaassertivethe red pill
Comments

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

I grew up with a beta dad and a Catholic guilt wielding control freak of a mom.

Better than my gun wielding mommy. I'm 36, so let me tell you the path this is going to take.

Your dad is dying. It is a slow boil that will systematically castrate his male essence until he is a shell of an animal wondering why he's having so many health problems.

He will never see the forest from the trees. He will never follow you. Even when my Catholic father was kicked out of his own fucking $800,000 house at 60, even after I spend a year telling him how terrible it was for his own son growing up while he lived in my house, he still went back. Why?

Why would a bad ass military guy who served his family, friends and country so well go back? Why would an ex Chief Operating officer go crawling back to such a shrew? This bad ass who, with broken spine, pain pick shoved into his body cavity so a machine could drop pain meds straight over his heart all while standing next to me in my wedding rather than be on his literal death bed GO BACK?!

Because mommy said life was too hard without his money.

Not because she loved him. Not because she missed him. Not because he sacrificed a connection with his son to meet her ever bloating list of needs. Not anything but for comfort.

I call him from Germany where I'm stationed for a while. Each time, he's got this neurological problem doctors can't find. I want to tell him mom is just draining him to death. But I've already said that.

This place, this glorious place can help those that want to save themselves. I'm sorry kid, but that dream we were all sold is a nightmare. And that nightmare wants you to go down with the ship; a sweet siren's song to help those you love.

But dead men tell no tales. So all we got is that song, that lie thinking we can Red Knight, White Knight, Captain Save-a-hoe, save a bro.

But we can't.

My father will die this way. My grandfathers died this way. I will not die this way. Save yourself, kid.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You just described why 'embrace the suck' is such a double edged sword.

[–]redearththeory1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This place, this glorious place can help those that want to save themselves.

We may disagree about the details but what we do here is important.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sure sure. Best parts come from the disagreements. Bet there's a few low ball glasses around here to drink from. Lets have a nice chat before I drop my glass. I'm very clumsy

[–]Griever1140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

/thread.

OP, read this shit now. I am going through the same exact shit with a narcassitic family. Cut the chord. It sucks but you are doing yourself better in the long run.

[–]nopeToThe43rd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've still got miles to go, but holy fuck - looking back I can clearly see how beta my dad was.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Part of becoming a man, dropping the RP fir a minute, is learning to identify unhealthy and controlling situations that A- you don't feed into and B- you set you goals on not allowing it to repeat in your life

Perhaps one of the most important obligations to yourself is to learn how to be diplomatic or as jack10 would say is the politician. Neutral and never make anyone feel as your casting judgement

As for RP, becoming a man and your parents, IDGAF and give lots of space. Your father will do as conditioned. Remember respect ? Tons Of it with them. It's going to be easy for you to cast judgement and throw your RP wisdom. But in reality you need to read and live the MRP wisdom. Does this stop you from being opinionated ? Fuck no.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

AMOG your dad?

there is no scenario where this works. You're not supposed to fix your family, that's their job, go work on you.

But if you want to kill god, feel free. guarantee your family resents you for the effort

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have you watched the show Preacher? You might dig it.

[–]Boogy030 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are too young to pass judgement, especially on your parents. You still have a long road of learning ahead of you. You have no value yet.

Keep your "wisdom" to yourself for now.

[–]CountpudyoolaMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'd STFU, and spend less time with them for now.

I'd try to attempt to slow fade back in in any future interactions with them. Taking off anytime they treat you like your old self or shit goes haywire.

Baby step it. At some point you'll be able to conclude whether they'll interact with you on the level you want (will help if you steer this right with the slow fade in) OR they'll always have their heels dug in and you'll be the same boy in their eyes always (in which case you manage minimal interactions with them).

You don't try to lead your dads family. That was his cross to bear. Even if he handed it off to your mom or drops it frequently.

You'll have your own to lead one day. If that's what you want.

[–]nopeToThe43rd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say he has one right now, luckily for him, it's only 1 deep.

You condition them with your presence the same way you would a harpy wife. Instead of fucking you to get your comfort and presence, they need to not be controlling whiny bitches, otherwise, you're supposed to have better things to do with your time.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Others have said you're probably not ready to redknight yet. The dynamic of 30 years of bad marriage is way to strong.

I'll tell you what I tell every guy who asks "how do I make my wife love me?" Or more appropriately "how do I make her behave around me?"

You don't.

Let people into your life that add value, isolate those and ignore those that don't. You're creating a covert contract expecting them to live to your redpill ideals when they can't or won't.

Give freely because you can. Love freely without expectation.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Will this family dynamic change over the years as I improve and kill my ego?

You are only a small part of the dynamic. You can only change you - they may, or they may not, react to that.

You mention a lot about control via guilt in your original post, and a lot about judgment in your replies. Both of these suggest that you haven't internalized (or perhaps even read) WISNIFG. There's a huuuge between asserting your position from a place of strength, and going Rambo. Going Rambo, ironically enough, tends to come from a place of weakness and insecurity: you let everything get to you and then have no idea how to handle it so you blow your shit completely.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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