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So she called police today

Reddit View
August 1, 2016
6 upvotes

Update: I consulted with two lawyers and went ahead and started the ball rolling. The female attorney that I went with is drafting up the filing and should have it to me tomorrow. She noted that it would take criminal charges to remove me from the house but that a temporary order could be used to remove me temporarily. Those are heard by the courts quickly. Also listed the house with a real estate agent.

Tl;dr at the bottom...

More victim puke...And I'm totally embarrassed.

I had been busy all morning doing my thing. I worked out at my usual 6:30am then came home and had a high protein breakfast. I piddled around for a few hours and washed my car. After coming in from doing that jump in the shower. She's still asleep at 11:30am, which is very common for her.

When I finish my shower and put my underwear on, I step out to get the rest of my clothes. She's finally awake and my kid is bringing her morning coffee to her. (beta me use to do that but since our marriage has been on the rocks I stopped

I ate lunch and then grabbed my phone to take a break on the living room sofa. My kid and my wife started off discussing that school was about to start on Wednesday and my son's last day on his summer job would be Monday.

My kid evidently had an agreement with my wife, unbeknownst to me, that Monday would be the last day on the job. Evidently when he turned his notice in he messed up and told them Tuesday. She totally flips out with her usual victimhood crap. "You people never listen to me" , "You're gonna regret when it's just you and your daddy living here without me." My son speaks up and pleads with her not to be mad at him. Of course I'm trying to get my son's attention and to tell him to stfu. Not because of what she said but because he was making it worse by groveling to her.

At this point I'm beyond irritated. She keeps saying how we've made her the way she is and that her doctor and psychiatrist can vouch for her "it's all documented" I'd heard and had enough and I firmly tell her that she needs to drop the victimhood crap that she wields like a sword. I told her that she was responsible for many things too with our failed marriage but she would never admit any wrongs. I also told he she is responsible for her emotions.

At this point she starts bringing up all of my past deeds and one that she's been holding onto for two years. I told her that I'm not perfect and never will be but she has to let that shit die. I also told her that she has lost all of her friends because she takes everything personal. At this point she asks me to leave. I told her no. She said she would call the police and have me put out if I didn't leave. She says her doctors told her she could do that. I told her for physical abuse not for spousal problems.

So two police officers roll up and she runs out the door pleading with them to make me leave and that I was emotionally abusing her. I step outside and one of the officers politely asks me to step back inside. I comply.

After they are finished with hearing what she has to say I step outside, apologize for her calling them out, and explain my side of the story. They pretty much tell me that "she needs help" and they can't make me leave but maybe I could leave for a few hours and come back later. I agree to that but tell them that I have no place to leave permanently to. They leave my wife with some information on domestic abuse and hotlines numbers of she needs help. The officer warns me that it better not get physical. I kinda giggle and tell them I have no desire to go to jail and would never and have never would physically harmed her. I again apologise and tell them I was sorry they were called out to mediate a discussion.

They leave and she's even more pissed. She asks if I can go stay at friends apartment. I call him and tell him the situation. He says loudly over the phone which she heard. "I'm not going give her an out to throw you on the street. Don't leave." Of course she starts bringing up other relatives that I could stay with but I refuse to impose on them.

During all this, even while the officers were at my house, she's telling my son that I'm causing all this and that if I didn't leave she would. My son begins to cry at which point I tell her to leave him alone and keep him out of it. She keeps asking him if he was going with her or staying. I told her to stop and that she was welcome to leave but not to force this shit in my son.

So she packs her suit cases and about hour later she's out the door to stay with a parent. My son begrudgingly goes too. I told him to call if he wanted me to get him.

My plan tomorrow is to contact an attorney and a real estate agent. I'm done with the craziness.

During all this I remained very stoic and also used a lot from WISNIFG. I told her several times that no one was forcing her to stay. Me reacting with idgf seemed to make her furious. Beta me would have probably left. Beta me would have cried and plead with her to calm down and admit I was the reason for her melt down. I did tear up while I was talking to the police because of the turmoil it was causing for my son. She can kick me all she wants, leave him the fuck alone.

Right now I am at complete peace with myself. She on the other hand seems out of control and bat shit crazy. My child is my main concern.

Luckily the parent she is staying at knows the situation. If she wasn't going there I would have demanded my kid stay.

Now isn't this some shit????

tl;dr Wife flips out during a discussion at which I point out her flaws and tell her she needs to get her shit together. She calls the police. Police came and basically tells me she needs help. She was acting on instructions of her psychiatrist. Police are sympathetic to her and my problem. Wife pleads for me to leave. I stay, she goes with my kid in tow.


Post Information
Title So she called police today
Author chiefjohnwatts1790
Upvotes 6
Comments 50
Date 01 August 2016 12:49 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207283
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4vjz2r/so_she_called_police_today/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
WISNIFGbeta
Comments

[–]Reddened16 points17 points  (5 children) | Copy

You didn't leave your home which was smart, you're in a more powerful position remaining in the family home. The only thing I want to really drive home for you is this:

 

This woman called the police on you for no good fucking reason. She wasn't getting her way so she tried to get the authorities involved; these are the actions of a person that is irrational, unreasonable, and likely just generally mentally unstable. From here on out do not be alone with her; if for any reason you are in the same space as her, you should have your son present at all times to bear witness, otherwise I see a false claim of physical abuse in your future.

[–]chiefjohnwatts1790[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's what kinda scares me. She's very vindictive and has a lot of unaddressed anger. I'm afraid she's going to plead to have me put out on the street. I just feel like I need to get the jump on her possibly.

The funny part of all this is she had asked for me to give her space and minimal contact the last couple of weeks. I obliged and that seemed to piss her off even more. I guess since I stopped begging and pleading, she took that as me checking out. I was simply being stoic, stfu, and somewhat passing shit tests when there was any conversation and doing my own thing while she wallowed in her misery. In other words I kept on living in my house like I always have, just not much interaction or contact with her.

[–]mabden4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

a false claim of physical abuse in your future.

Get a high quality voice activated recorder that you carry with you at all times.

[–]blarggggggggggg3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get some cameras for inside the house and tell her it's for the security of the children.

ABR - always be recording

[–]Griever1145 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

My plan tomorrow is to contact an attorney and a real estate agent. I'm done with the craziness.

Get the best fucking lawyer you can afford. One who will NOT settle for getting raped by the law. Go for a god damn shark and kick this fucking bitch to the curb.

You have literally been given a second chance to unfuck your life and start again. here is your golden ticket. use it wisely. Get your son back in the house or she will use him against you and the courts will destroy your assets.

Also, DOCUMENT EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION YOU HAVE WITH HER FROM NOW ON. DO. NOT. FUCK. AROUND.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

If he lives in a one party consent state. It would be very wise to go ahead and video every interaction.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Though I wouldn't counsel him to break the law, I might counsel him to record anyway even if it's not one party consent.

Which would you rather have, a felony conviction for assault, battery, or rape; or a misdemeanor charge for eavesdropping which you can plead down to a lesser included offense? I know which one I'd rather have, particularly since you can make an arguable self-defense case for the eavesdropping charge.

[–]Griever1140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck you, both of you, for doing that in front of your kid.
 

I point out her flaws

I don't know where to start... Not only do you automatically lose the argument, but you give everyone license to call your words abusive. People, including therapists, are less likely to call verbal attacks abusive if coming from a woman. There's plenty of evidence to back this up. Too many guys fall into this trap.
 
If you're socially retarded, then STFU.
 
If you're socially skilled, then you'll recognize that she's dealing with distress or anger in a dysfunctional way, and managed to find a guy who feeds into her dysfunctional approach. Instead of helping her do it wrong, recognize what she's feeling and trying to achieve, and then address the underlying issue instead of her words. It's all about subtext.
 
I'll go out on a limb and say that you're probably not socially skilled or completely socially retarded. In that case, read and apply WISNIFG and How to Win Friends and Influence People. Practice those skills with everyone.
 
/u/druganswer said it best:

way to fall into her frame bro. you're lucky that you didn't end up in jail somehow

 

My plan tomorrow is to contact an attorney and a real estate agent. I'm done with the craziness.

Best answer for the long term. Until then, apply the sidebar books and the philosophy of stoicism instead of just throwing buzzwords around. You're no longer the shirtless loser on Cops or the chair-throwing freak on Jerry Springer. Become the hostage negotiator. Become the bomb disposal squad leader. She speaks, you STFU and think. Chill the fuck out before you speak when you are challenged.

[–]IASGame1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reality is what it is so we better deal with it, but this "Women are wonderful" default is such an asset for the "Feminine Imperative". I can sort of understand why female on male violence (including domestic abuse cases) is generally dismissed - on average, men are stronger than women.

But it doesn't make much logical sense that people, including experts, more readily call verbal attacks abusive if coming from a man.

Women are on average better at that shit than men. That is typically how girls bully each other since they are small kids.

Which is also why OP messed up and fell into her frame by engaging after being goaded into it. She is also obviously not above using the kid (or the police, or anyone) to get at him.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Wife flips out during a discussion at which I point out her flaws and tell her she needs to get her shit together.

That will show her. What did you think she would do? Apologize and fall on your dick?

She get frustrated, calls police. Police say she's nutty - not news to you or her. and ….on and on and on with the She, did this and that and she's nutty blah blah blah.

You say you are sick of this and going to lawyer. This appears to be a reaction to HER SHITTY BEHAVIOR, not a carefully thought out plan. The "that'll show her" response has not proven to give great results for others in the past. But - you do you.

The things that you really don't clearly articulate are; what YOU want to happen, what you want out of this for YOURSELF. what are doing to get what you want, other than being done that with crazy stuff.

From what you describe, which we all know is just your point of view, I would be deciding what I want and making a plan to get it. Whatever that is. We also know that you have an ego that protects you from being wrong, or the bad guy here. Maybe there is more to the story of how you have been a shitty husband? Only you know.

Before you lock and load and start a war. Before you start some processes that might not be what you would do, or the way you would do it, if you gave it some thought, take a breath. Now take another. Been where you are. Get what YOU want. Best

EDIT: Make no mistake about what I am saying, your marriage is probably a goner. Just leave it on your terms, not as a reflex. Then make sure that you can keep yourself from making similar mistakes again.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Have an upvote, for you stated something very important that a man must do it because he wants to do it and not because it is to show her.

However, check OP's previous post. I think he has gotten to a point where it is no use to try and salvage this relationship.

I am usually the last to yell 'Next', but in this case.....Hard Next.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree he is probably doing the right things, but probably for the wrong reasons. I would run like a bunny…..

[–]its-iceman1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just address in your first part about her falling on his dick: I think he's past the point of gaming her for sex. I don't think he cares anymore about that—which makes sense. She's not desirable like this, she's a mess. Not sure that was the point you were making but wanted to add it in.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This appears to be a reaction to HER SHITTY BEHAVIOR, not a carefully thought out plan. The "that'll show her" response has not proven to give great results for others in the past

Before you lock and load and start a war. Before you start some processes that might not be what you would do, or the way you would do it, if you gave it some thought, take a breath

The point is that OP needs to pro-active , not reactive. (aka Steven Covey)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Holy Shit.

Good Job, See your lawyer today. Talk to him/her ( HER may be better) and discuss how to handle possible gaslighting harassment and so on. Legal options.

You may ( for legal reasons and I am not sure here, so ask an attorney) want to get counseling for yourself and for your son for the emotional manipulation she has put him through.

I am guessing he is about 16 or so since he is working?

Take care of him, sell the house, move money per attorneys advice.

And dont be surprised if she moves money before you do. Accept it, you can always make more.

Keep us updated

[–]chiefjohnwatts1790[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

I got up early this morning and went to the bank to take care of that before she did. I also have a consult this afternoon with an attorney and with another on tomorrow.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

at this rate, she may just sleep through everything... one can only hope

[–]chiefjohnwatts1790[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's what she does best, go to bed for sometimes days at a time.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

So, she is ignoring her motherly job of being a stay at home wife... you follow me?

[–]red-pill-man2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If my LTR ever calls the police on my it's over. Period.

I refuse to give her a threatpoint to use against me.

[–]its-iceman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sure it's a puke but I think you did fine. It's easy to sit here and pick apart your interactions and tell you where you could have done something differently. You didn't fuck up. Good.

Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer. And I would buy a Nest security camera to "monitor the dog when you're not home" or something similar, and pay the $10/month for 7 days of cloud recording. Now you know you're on camera and she can't claim you escalated things to the police or anyone else.

Again, lawyer it up hard. Do whatever the fuck they say to do. You have a responsibility to your son, but it sounds like you're doing the right things there by sticking up for him and not pressuring him (I'll come get you if you want, okay?). That's his mom and she's broken... he's old enough to recognize that. Just be a strong, stoic rock for him and you'll be his hero. Maybe not today, but someday.

Did I mention get an amazing lawyer and do whatever they say?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You did very well. Don't leave the house. Be polite and respectful to police. Don't get physical with your wife.

You are wise to bring this to a conclusion now. See the lawyer, get a separation agreement drawn up. Get her to leave the house if at all possible. Don't ever be alone with her again, ever.

Ask for an order of protection against her. Lay it out for the lawyer and if possible, the court. She is mentally unstable and abusive. She called police to the house for no reason, causing domestic disturbances without any cause at all. Her conduct is harming a minor child. You are mentally stable, responsible, and ready, willing and able to be the sole physical custodial parent of the child.

See it through all the way to the end. When a woman does this - call the cops - for no good reason, or for any reason, really, it's over. It's time to end the relationship.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is not a hard case. Next!

Divorce Done Right

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm too new to the Red Pill to give advice here, but this has striking parallels to what I am going through. You could help me by posting here more often or by DM. Don't lean on me for advice, as I'm BluePill habituated. It is amazing to wake up, tho!

[–]chiefjohnwatts1790[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I will keep posting my situation..I think I arrived at the RP to late to save this marriage but hopefully I'll come out a better man. I'll probably always second doubt myself but I do know that I am a good person and I'm always willing to improve and learn.

[–]youcantdenythat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reddened and FistFull have good advice, I've been through this also. I would add that I would get your son back asap and do what you can to keep him away from her. She is going to try to use your son against you and will likely hurt him in the process.

Courts usually will stick with the status quo. If your son is with his mom, the court will award majority of custody to her. If he is with you, you have a better chance of getting good custody.

Someone told me this when I was getting divorced and I wish I had listened.

Also, her next move may be to file a restraining order and kick you out of your house. Ask your lawyer if there is anything you can do to defend against that. You might have luck filing one first, but ask him asap.

[–]redearththeory1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I told her that she was responsible for many things too with our failed marriage but she would never admit any wrongs. I also told he she is responsible for her emotions.

Be accountable for your actions. If your actions are reasonable, how she feels is not your concern. Tell her that.

If your son is old enough to have job he's old enough to need his sane father more than his crazy mother. Talk to an attorney. Get custody (your son may just be able to choose who he wants to live with). Divorce your mentally unstable wife.

[–]Trekneck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You 100% need to stop engaging with and get the hell away from this woman before it escalates, and it will escalate. If for no other reason, your son is being dragged into the middle of this and is seeing very, very unfunctional interaction between a weak but improving man and a fucking narcissist.

If the two of you are going to remain in the home together, I would seriously recommend get some video/audio recording in place in common areas. Accurate or not, all she has to do is claim you hit her. They've already got it in their system that they've been called to your home for a disturbance before.

[–]IASGame0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is very important - you wrote you were going to contact an attorney.

Don't wait, get a good one.

One that hopefully has experience with women that pull that kind of stuff on their husbands so that you know exactly how to legally protect yourself against false accusations and such.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Chief, on a lighter note, see what happens when you don't get her her morning coffee?

And on a serious note, from your previous post, she has repeatedly manipulated you. It is clear she is super pissed off that she cannot do it anymore, hence the call to the cops to get you re-enlisted in the school of Beta provider.

You and your kid don't need this kind of drama in your lives.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What did she mean by "you made me this way?" Is there any truth to that. Regardless if you leave her or not, it would be good to be introspective to this part.

[–]chiefjohnwatts1790[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If I made her that way it was by me being subservient for many years. Yes, I blew my stack many times when I reached my limit. Yes I had many opportunities to have physical affairs but I didn't. All I have ever wanted was for us to be a normal couple but when I would screw up she would sulk and shut me out for weeks at a time. Lord knows how many times I have asked for her forgiveness for acting out in frustration.

The thing that is still sticking in craw is she went through my phone almost two years ago and saw where I had searched a girl I went out with one time while we were separated. I admitted that was very poor judgement and very stupid on my part. She still brings it up every time we would argue.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow. She's got some very bad coping skills. Keep reading the sidebar and really internalize stoicism. Don't argue. Don't argue with her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like your friend, good thing he lent you his frame for a minute. The cops too.

You didn't win, you were lucky, with plenty of gifts from others. Use them well, good luck with the lawyer. Just CYA, from this point forward. Nany cams if you have to, I wouldn't put it past her to walk into a few doors and blame it on you

I don't know if you've internalized this, this lady isn't the mother of your children, your wife, or that sweet one from before. This is a wild bear in your house, and you're not allowed to put a muzzle on it.

She is not the enemy, you need to act accordingly

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, she went full retard. Now just sack up and move forward. Be very careful with her. Don't worry too much about TRP bullshit with an unstable STBX. You've got a new game to play now. She's also dragging your kids through the mud with her. Remember, this is the person you share your life with from here forward, so just tread lightly.

AND ALWAYS IMAGINE WHAT YOU WOULD SAY OR WHAG EVIDENCE TOU WILD NEED TO ANSWER BEFORE A JUDGE.

[–]jeezydasnowman-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

You MUST run for the hills. Abandon her asap. LEAVE! If you stick around she will hurt herself then tell the authorities it was you. Think about that shit long and hard. DISAPPEAR.

[–]its-iceman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He needs to be careful about leaving or abandoning. It can lead to further divorce rape. He needs to do whatever his bomb ass lawyer says to do.



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