Handling infantile narcissistic bullshit: puke

[deleted] · 2016-07-24T18:02:06+00:00

silent treatment

If she does it to you, then do whatever you want as long as it doesn't reward her shitty, passive aggressive behavior. If she does it to your kids, then nuke it.

My wife did that to my daughter, who was 4 years old at the time. She had yelled at my daughter about something minor. When my daughter apologized later, with tears in her eyes, my wife didn't acknowledge her at all. She looked at her and walked away. My daughter's apologies got louder and more desperate.

I walked up to my wife and quietly said, "Come with me."

We went behind closed doors.

"The silent treatment? Are you kidding me? Do you know how damaging that is to a child?"

"But she... <rehashing of the minor infraction>"

"But nothing. There is no excuse for giving our child the silent treatment. She's trying to apologize to you now, so go out there and acknowledge the apology."

This was around October 2014. There has not been another incident.

If she acts like a passive aggressive bitch, then shut her down like a passive aggressive bitch. Do it calmly. Stay in your frame. It's not a reaction to her shit. Don't get wrapped up in her emotions. She's fucking up and needs a course correction.

The next step is to figure out why she's fucking up. Does she need parenting skills, stress management, more sleep, better physical fitness, etc...

bogeyd6 · 2016-07-24T16:14:40+00:00

How to handle the silent treatment? Oh boy, you got the luck of the draw here. First thing I would do is enjoy the silence and maybe work on a soduku or something. Then head out to the garage and work on whatever I got going on. Currently I am building a go-kart so a few hours of uninterrupted work would be just what the mechanic ordered. Maybe get some lawn work done too, because i am the laziest fucking landscaper. I've wanted to do some maintenance on my truck, if the treatment lasted long enough I would get that done too. There is always chores to do around the house and shit you have been putting off because you are "just too busy" to fix the leak in the roof.

The last thing I would do is talk to her or attempt get her to talk to me. If she can keep the silent treatment up for decades, imho you would have the perfect marriage. You need to work on your OI and frame baby. You are living squarely in hers.

cholomite · 2016-07-24T16:45:40+00:00

First off, stop being such a little bitch. You sound like her annoying little brother instead of the calm cool alpha badass you're supposed to be.

"Things deteriorated rapidly"

AKA you turned into a bitch and fell into her frame, where you still reside to this day. I don't know what you said or did that made things deteriorate but I'm sure it was too much talking and too much of being in her frame.

You're feeling dread because you don't know how to handle your wife's shit. You got no bitch management skills. Next time play it cool and smooth and make her actually want to come back to you, instead if forcing her to come back under threat of butthurt. Her anger, or whatever emotions she's going to throw at you shouldn't effect you at all.

About the silent treatment, again, I don't know exactly what was said or just how much of a pathetic whiny beta you sounded like, but you need to reverse that trend, fast. Honestly, I would have encouraged her to stay for another whole week, and make her hamster spin a little bit.

Basically, stop giving so many fucks. When she comes back, play it cool and keep it light. Your main goal right now should be learning how to not let her influence your emotional state. You're supposed to be the rock in the storm, but instead you're more like a rotten palm tree on the beach. Let her be angry, honestly, it's a little justified in this case. I'd be mad too if the "man" I married acted more like a little bitch than a man.

I don't really know what was said, so maybe I'm being a little harsh, but I doubt I'm very far off. Instead of sinking to her level of narcissistic infant, rise above that shit and handle her like she wants to be handled, by a big strong man that doesn't give a fuck about her bullshit.

If you actually think you can find a woman who isn't infantile and narcissistic, I'd love to sell you some real estate on the moon.

Seriously though, you're actually considering leaving to a hotel because your wife doesn't want to talk to you? Just remember to stomp your feet and slam the door on the way out so your point really gets across.

bogeyd6 · 2016-07-24T19:26:09+00:00

Most days I'd like to take the easy way out and move into my own apartment. I used to think it was because I was OI. Now I think it's because it would be a fucking lazy blue-pill passive aggressive tactic. Would my life be better on my own, without responsibilities in the house? Absolutely, 100%. I'm curious as to why you wanted her back sooner. If my wife took an extended vacation with the kid, I'd be thrilled to live the bachelor life again.

red-pill-man · 2016-07-25T00:44:20+00:00

Your wife is out of town alone....in a resort town...for 45 days....?

So many red flags.

[deleted] · 2016-07-25T12:09:40+00:00

Silent treatment = blessed relief.

Literally go do whatever else you want to do with your wife and maybe your kid.

She wants the silent treatment - attention seeking passive aggressive behavior. Ignore. Pretend she does not exist

silent treatment to a child is mentally and psychologically damaging and will result in an emotionally fucked up kid. If she does it, put her aside and let her know you will not tolerate purposeful negligence towards your child.

Then go and have fun with your kid. If your kid mentions her mom, tell her that you are the one spending time with her now, and if she did something bad ( if she really really did do something bad) teach her about how and why not to do what ever that was. As for mom giving her a silent treatment just tell her your wife should not have done that.

screechhater · 2016-07-24T20:23:27+00:00

"I know this situation is all my fault and I'm working on getting my shit back together."

"Yet, I still feel dread about having to deal with this so I am obviously not all the way there."

This is a great time to get it together and stare her down. Don't be a weaksauce. Seriously, just fucking stare until she cracks, don't say a fucking word...... you'll be there when she starts crying

Griever114 · 2016-07-25T00:21:04+00:00

Here is the problem...

-Not that your wife is being an insufferable cunt.

-Not that you are towing the line and letting this shit continue.

-Not that you are a newbie

The problem is YOU. You say this shit:

I know you can tell me "go be awesome." "Bang 10 other chicks" etc..etc.. and I'm working my way through the sidebar material and a fitness program so I can do just that. In fact, I really don't even care if we ultimately get a divorce other than how upsetting it would be to the kids, but they'll survive. It won't even be a financial problem if it happens. I'm not worried about being single. I know this situation is all my fault and I'm working on getting my shit back together. Yet, I still feel dread about having to deal with this so I am obviously not all the way there. Last time I told her I was sick of her infantile narcissistic bullshit and that she should grow the fuck up. For once I am actually thinking about going to a hotel. But fuck, this is my house.

Its called work. DO IT.

If you know what we are going to say, fucking do it

redearththeory · 2016-07-25T02:14:16+00:00

I love the silent treatment. I go do all the fun shit I normally don't have time for.

OP, if this bothers you its because your wife is threatening something you value. What's being threatened by your wife's behavior that you value?

[deleted] · 2016-07-25T03:07:48+00:00

What do you want? Do you know?

I can't figure out for the life of me why do any of this... Bitch habit? "for the kids" that aren't there anymore?

To bad you didn't develop a plan with all that silence

The_Litz · 2016-07-25T09:12:07+00:00

Silent treatment? No problem, what would you do, what would your decisions be if you were single today? If you plan to wash the car, wash the car. If you were going to walk the dog, walk the dog.

The fact that you dread the silent treatment is testament to weak frame. You are still dong things hoping she accepts and validates you.

What were you doing these last 45 days? Keep doing that.

donerkebabplease · 2016-07-25T12:59:03+00:00

Enjoy the silence, get on with some shit that needs doing. With the middle finger emoji, you did turn into a little bitch, NBD, it will most likely not be the last time that happens, at least you see it.

Sounds like she's doing her. Why aren't you doing you?

Title	Handling infantile narcissistic bullshit: puke
Author
Upvotes	8
Comments	42
Date	24 July 2016 03:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/207297
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4udhqe/handling_infantile_narcissistic_bullshit_puke/