Background: LTR 16 years, married for 5, 2 kids under 3. I'm the breadwinner in the family, successful career, alpha in the relationship. Wife is stay-at-home, takes very good care of the house and kids. No issues there. I spend my time working, bbqing unctuous meats, and renovating my house. Currently building my first deck, we'll get to that later.
Got tired of the sexual side of the relationship. After 16 years it just needed a boost. Found MRP. Swallowed the pill about a month ago. Still very much in the discovery, educational phase.
Situation: I'm currently building my first deck. Took weeks of prep to make sure I had all the right materials, right techniques and help to get it done on time. Brought in the building inspector, yadda yadda...big deal. I had a helper who was only able to be there for two consecutive weekends so those 4 days were absolutely crucial to get all of the two man stuff done. I couldn't deal with any distractions. I STFU and got busy. Then I found MRP. Basically channeled my attitude managing the deck build into solid frame. Used this frame as the foundation for interacting with my wife. It's worked fantastically. Not a real departure on my end, just that I'm conscious of it now and how it could effect my progress if I stray.
For the last month I've kept absolute frame. Been following the 2/3's rule for affection. She rarely gives any affection, not much cuddling, no touching, no flirting. I get a peck before I leave for work. So I've basically haven't shown her any attention physically over the past month, light kino, etc. I've done all the normal stuff like listen to her, kept up jokes and stayed positive and stoic. I haven't mentioned sex at all. There's been no venting of sexual frustrations. And there's no anger at all. It's like I've transcended and am now able to just live without having my dick run the show. Have also been doing pushups in the bedroom with her in it and I've lost 10 pounds working on the deck. I'm 5'10, 180. Not unattractive at all.
My bedroom is a lot like others on here starting off. Lot's of reneging, covert contracts, and lack of enthusiasm which would result in me loosing my cool, getting frustrated and exhibiting beta moves.
Last night, we decide to watch Love on Netflix after the kids go to the bed. Lots of sex in it. I can tell my wife is starting to hamster. She's wearing a very low cut tank top and mentions to me that her shirt is super low. I take a glance, say some words to keep the mood light, but still holding back any looks of desperation. I do my pushup sets, we finish up and fall asleep.
TODAY IS WHEN THE REAL GAME BEGINS. We're all getting ready for the day this morning. I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth and the wife comes in, no shirt on. She just sits at the dryer staring at me (hoping I notice her tits just hanging out). She mutters something under her breath. I ask her to repeat what she said. She ignores me. I ask again. Can't remember what she said. I keep it light, acknowledge that her tits are hanging out. Make a joke how if guys had tits, we'd just walk around with no bra on swinging them fucken things. I didn't molest her like old me would have done. My spideysense is now starting to tingle.
We head to kitchen to feed all the kids. I'm getting some breakfast ready for my son when the wife hits me with the first shit test. We're conversing about something and she sneaks in a "yea, it's probably cause you're cheating on me with one of your facebook friends or something". I deflect that shit like a pro.
I know she's wondering why I haven't tried to have sex with her in a month.
Then she says "I just haven't wanted to have sex since our dog died." I said, "Me neither". She says apologetically, "Cause it's been a month or so". I follow up with, " I know, I've been busy too with the deck and with the dog dying too., etc etc. She then drops, "You must be watching a lot of porn". I say, " I haven't at all. I've been busy" The whole time I'm keeping frame and being stoic.
She then comes up to me and says, "Well we can have sex tonight...If you want to". I'm guessing this is her coy way of saying she wants to have sex tonight, but doesn't want to look like the one initiating it? I say "OK" and move on.
Later in the day, we're in the car parked waiting for something. She turns to me and says "You know you're very handsome right". I say "You know it" jokingly, but confident.
Lastly, she comes into my office 20 mins ago. I'm doing some light kino, slap her on the ass and she's actually trying to flirt with me. I continue to keep frame and go back to work.
This is where I need your help. My instincts tell me she's not really horny, but she's more in shock at the change in my behavior and therefore testing me.
How should I proceed with tonight without fucking up my MRP progress. Did I pass the shit tests from this morning? You think i should have said other things? I just don't want her to think she can sink into her same old bullshit tonight. High chance that she could just fall asleep, say she's not in the mood or just lay there. Do I NOT have sex with her since she's trying to make it on her terms? "Well we can have sex tonight...If you want to".
Thanks again for reading.
TLDR; WE HAD SEX. IT WAS FUN AND PASSIONATE AS FUCK. And it was against all odds.
My wife was in the kitchen all day cooking food for her dad's retirement party. She came to bed around 10:30 but still had do something for the party. It took her forever find and send pics to walgreens for printing. I ended up falling asleep for like an hour or two and woke back up. She was still doing shit in bed. I waited until she was done. Sex was NOT on her mind at this point. She was tired.
I waited for her to get done. I said to her, "Put the computer away and take off your clothes". She looked at me funny and gave me weak LMR. Gave it few minutes, then said it again. She puts the computer down, walks into the bathroom and comes back with a stronger LMR. "I'm tired, been in the kitchen all day, wah wah wah". I'm already naked in bed at this point. I get up instantly, put on some underwear and a shirt and go directly to my family room and pop on some TV. This room is far from my bedroom.
Hamster hamster hamster.
10 minutes pass and she comes in the family room and lazily says "Ok, I guess we can have sex now". I look at her and say "Why are your clothes still on?". She retreats back to the bedroom.
Hamster hamster hamster.
I saunter back in after 5 minutes and she's in bed, under the covers, eyes closed. It looks like she's sleeping. I say, "You better not have any clothes on under there". She says she doesn't. I rip the covers off. Clothes are still ON!. I leave the room and go back to the TV room. Chill for a few minutes.
Hamster hamster hamster.
Go back in the bedroom to put on pants and leave to go to a bar or something. It's 1am at this point. She's in bed and goes "FINE" and proceeds to rip her shirt off. I jump into bed and rip her pants off. What followed was an extremely fun and passionate session against all odds. She was tired and def in the kitchen all day, but she played along. I expected starfish, but she was having fun. Old me would have let all of that LMR get in my way and piss me off. For some reason, my antics worked! Thanks MRP. Been upping my kino since friday night happened. Gonna keep this train rolling. Baby steps.