Talk to me about "The Wall."

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June 3, 2016

Cross posted to /r/asktrp but I got a few messages suggesting I try MRP for more LTR minded advice.

Quick background: private pilot (think glorified cab driver for those with the means). Keeps me VERY busy, so it's really only in the past few years I've slowed down and thought about having a family. Being a pilot, owning jets, and being decent enough looking means plates are not a problem - but the truth of it is I've been bored with that kind of women for a long time. I just turned 41.

A number of months ago one of my regular clients was flying. I'm at the FBO with his crew when he comes rolling up with this woman in his car. His guys all start grinning and going on about her, they're all trying to figure out if she's Evan's friend or something more. She's pretty goddamned gorgeous so I have to say I'm curious too.

We fly a few more times together and I find out a little more about her - sold her business, moved back into the area, wicked smart and that's a turn on for me. I decide no pussy footing around and ask Evan what the deal is between them so I can proceed or not. I don't want to step on his toes, I like the guy. He gives me the green light, says he'd love to go there with her but, no, they both want different things out of a relationship, he's much older, whatever, I've got the go ahead.

I take her flying, we pheasant hunt together, have dinner, a number of really great dates. It takes a bit longer than I'm used to, but we sleep together after awhile and that's phenomenal too. I was starting to think she wasn't interested physically despite her being touchy feely (used to faster paced girls, I suppose), but once she decided she was down it's been nicely nonstop. When I'm gone overnight she now stops at my place and finishes up my laundry, puts a meal to be reheated in the fridge or crockpot, cleans up, just something to be nice.

I've tried to be realistic in my thinking, I don't want to be struck with severe one-itis, but I wonder now if in an attempt to be realistic I'm just psyching myself out. So, I'm here to share my "concerns" and see what you guys think. When I first met her I thought she was mid to late twenties, appearance wise. She's 35. Yay that she's an awesome looking 35, obviously takes care of herself, but wall? I don't have any reason to believe she was some crazy ass hooker in her youth and is trying to change her ways, but I do wonder why no one has pulled her off the market yet. Evan described her as not really being interested in dating, really independent, but despite the fact that I can see what he was saying and I've seen that side of her, she's also very gentle and submissive and feminine around me.

What do I need to be wary of here, guys? Or am I overthinking a good thing?

Post Information
Title Talk to me about "The Wall."
Author SuggestedRP
Upvotes 6
Comments 19
Date 03 June 2016 12:09 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationshipplatethe wall

[–]ArchwingerRed Beret15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy

The number of women who show good wife traits before you marry them exceeds the number of women who show good wife traits after marriage.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

And the number of childless women approaching the wall who show good wife traits exceeds the number of childless CC riders who show good wife traits.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Childfree is not childless.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you say so.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That is an understatement and far to limited. I prefer the 'those bitches ain't loyal.'

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They got mission focus. Guys should have that kind of amoral drive to meet theirs.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

You're over-thinking it.
If she suits your lifestyle, then enjoy it. If she doesn't suit your lifestyle, then end it. If she wants kids and you don't, or there's some other incompatibility that makes her unsuitable for LTR, then plate her or next her. Her age doesn't make her a bad choice. At this point I find girls in their 20s to be annoying as hell and wouldn't be able to tolerate a long-term relationship with a vast majority of them.

[–]SuggestedRP[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Thanks - I can't do the relationships with girls in their 20s anymore either (tbh, I barely could when I was in my 20s).

[–]IASGame4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Why not (on the girls in their 20s)? Serious question.

On your situation, there are two main points.

  1. If she is 35, be wary about her really wanting kids (even if she says she doesn't, even if she even thinks she doesn't). Do you want kids? Do you want kids with her?

  2. Also sounds a lot like she slotted you into a provider role (as opposed to a lover role), based on her already knowing that you are financially solid by the circumstances she met you, and more importantly based on her taking it really slow prior to allowing sex (she positioned herself as the prize).

Therefore she may (consciously or not) be role-playing the wifely qualities, also known as "auditioning for the role". Just be warned that if you ever give her legal power (by marrying her) things are likely to change.

Frankly if you are that worried about the wall, you can LTR her for a few years (if she is up for that, you will find out quickly if she is only interested if you are willing to marry her), and re-evaluate as she ages. Sounds rather "dark triad" but is pretty much what many (most?) women do to men, just based on their own value systems rather than so much about looks.

[–]SuggestedRP[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why not? Because we're typically at MUCH different places in our lives. I was a Merchant Marine, a Navy pilot, and now I own my own company/home/property. I don't expect a girl to be my carbon copy of course, but it's nice if she's traveled, has some curiosity about the world, and has worked for something in her life. That's difficult to find at 25. Some of these girls have the drive, but I'm not ready to backtrack and go that road with them - been there, done that.

Yes, I do want kids. If it didn't happen it wouldn't be the end of the world, but I'd like it. She's on the same page.

I dunno about "provider" - she's financially settled and the guys like Evan she had friend-zoned (hate the term, but it seems to apply) are considerably better off. These are the guys who own the jets because they can, not because they're a business tool. I am glad that she doesn't just jump into bed at the drop of a hat though. Nice to know that someone in my age range hasn't slept with the whole town.

[–]IASGame4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

None of what I am about to say means it is a bad idea to wife her up. What makes it a bad idea to wife her up is that the legal contract involved doesn't give YOU anything worthwhile, while giving her a lot of power (I'm assuming that, despite you stating she is settled financially, you are better off financially than she is; if not, by all means propose and if things go badly, you won't be divorce raped). You can LTR her and have kids with her without getting married.

That said...

A. She probably knows you are "glad that she doesn't just jump into bed at the drop of a hat", and that may be precisely why she did it. It doesn't by any means guarantee that her "N count" is low, or as low as you would like it to be.

B. That she passed over other (presumably more beta) providers and that she is herself well-off doesn't guarantee she isn't "changing lanes". My understanding is that Provider doesn't have to mean financially (although it usually does). You still probably don't want to get slotted into a Provider role, even if right now she may very well want to have your baby and considers your genes and sperm better than the other rich guys she friend-zoned.

Look, she may be a unicorn (odds are she isn't), but you said it yourself: one has to wonder "why no one has pulled her off the market yet".

Maybe it was simply because she didn't want to get off the market yet, in which case, again, probabilities are that she was "hooking-up" to some extent. She apparently likes sex (again quoting you, it has been "nicely nonstop"), and her looks guarantee that she could get it before you got it from her.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So , honestly, if you are both financially stable, and you do not see red flags - whats there to fear?

Oh, I am not saying get married!

But LTR , if you like her, why not??

See if she uses you for financial reasons however stable she is, you will know.

Kids? You wouldn't be the first guy to have kids outside of a legal marriage

What other worries? She wants a big party to celebrate that she was married? suggest a trip to X and a nice sea side small ceremony with no legal weight to it.