How to talk to husband about red pill

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April 21, 2016

How do I bring the red pill up to my husband without seeming like I'm criticizing our marriage? I've been reading about it for a while but I doubt he's ever heard of it.

He is very no-nonsense, alpha type at work. I'm sure he's got it in him to be an alpha, but I think I have trained him not to over the course of our decade of marriage. I think he'd be shocked that his independent, I-can-do-it-myself wife actually wants to be given direction, bossed around a bit, love it when he walks by and slaps my ass, and want so much more dominance from him in bed but mostly in everyday life. I have a high stress job, plenty of anxiety, and feel overwhelmed as a wife, mother, employee. I have to project a strong persona at work, and at home I'd rather not be in charge.

I'm finally getting my diet figured out, losing weight, making an effort with my hair and clothing, and getting my self esteem back since having our second child. We have what I consider a great marriage that is in a rut that most couples with young children, jobs, and life stresses go through. It's not bad but I feel (I know he does too) it could be better. The feminist in me cringes to admit it, but I have always been happier to be a follower than a leader. So how do I bring this up? Will he think "yay, I've been wishing she would ask me to do this" Or "oh god, my wife is a freak."

Post Information
Title How to talk to husband about red pill
Author jeepgrrl
Upvotes 9
Comments 30
Date 21 April 2016 09:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
alphadominancethe red pillfeminist

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's hard, because you can't make him drink, only lead.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There was somebody in here with a similar username last year. Same person?
RedPillWives can be a bit of a clique, but they have a lot to say about encouraging a guy to step up. I suggest going there. I'm biased, obviously, and think there's some very good content in MRP for a husband, particularly in the sidebar books and the top posts. Half the active posts are good, half are shit. That's a much better ratio than in TRP.
It takes the magic out of it for many women if they have to communicate overtly. Something like, "I love it when you take control and fuck me hard" can open doors for both if you, but it may take the magic away. It works like a charm for guys, though. YMMV.

[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife1 point2 points  (14 children) | Copy

Hi, I was in your position until my own husband stumbled upon this sub reddit a couple years ago. Huge game changer it was awesome! I would simply just send him a link so he can see for himself :)

[–]What_is_real_anymore2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Interesting. How do you view him? You essentially are seeing how the sausage is made. How is game and dread effective to give you tingles, when you know what he's doing?

[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I still view him as my man. he has always found a way to make me laugh no matter what the circumstances. I have always been attracted to him and still am. We both always and still care about our appearances. I always have had a high libido so he doesn't need to game me much to get "jumped" and I like a good fuck and to submit in the bedroom plus I am kinky so really we are doing well. The only problem we had before he stumbled upon this sub was his boundaries and expectations which are very clear now so everything is good :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

Aren't you the one with the 'wife husband' flair with hubby on MRP?

Kind of the oppositte of vampiresquidina?

[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife2 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy

Yes I am.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Guess soon you'll have seapans wife, maybe even redreadwolverines in here also.


[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

English is not my first language so I am not sure what you mean here.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Two more wives who were exposed to TRP. seapans wife snooped, and is now on board, reddreads wife was harrased by trolls at TBP.

Assuming they'll eventually be husband wife teams at some point also

[–]MarriedwithkidzRP Wife1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Ah ok. Mine actually told me about it a couple weeks in because I knew something was up and I was in from that point on :)

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I'm not sure it works unless you withhold sex and disrespect him first.

Only joking, but not entirely. What this sub advises is pretty damn hard, and it helps to be a little desperate. I'm not sure "because my wife asked me to" will be enough. Maybe you should criticize your marriage a bit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

My step father was pretty abusive, and so I grow up with the adage that I would never do that to another human.

Great lesson, not sure I would encourage it as a teaching tool

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Joking surely.

Edit:not you, PTDU, in his advice

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. But no. If you really believe that women act the way that they do because of biological imperatives (I'm not sure I buy it, but the fact that all women are like that certainly suggests that basic biology may be at work), then I think you've got to pay some respect to Mother Nature here. I don't like that women withhold sex, but I respect that it's a biological strategy that's been honed over the last hundred thousand years or more for the greater good of the human race. If women could get the same results by just asking, they would, and these other strategies wouldn't exist.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LOL! Winner.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Baring some very specific things, you sound like an echo of my wife. Strong at work and most who know her (and not me) assume she must steam roll her husband at home. In practice, that's definitely not the case.

For example, I bought our house many years ago without her even seeing it first. Despite always being rather proud of her work accomplishments, she loves telling people that story. She doesn't see it as her being "weak" but me being so specific that she could trust I'd make the right choice. Same thing with her current vehicle - she just specified the colors she wanted. She never drove anything until I brought it home one day as a surprise. She loves that car more than the ones she helped pick out.

You feel in conflict. But there's no conflict in reality. You can be as strong as you want. However, that little lizard part of your brain that's been around for oh so very long just wants to know that your man is a little stronger. You know, just in case a bear barges into your cave. It's comforting to your core.

Sort the top posts on MarriedRedPill and start reading through them. See if one really sticks out to you. Then perhaps show it to him. Appeal to his latent dominancy and perhaps be a little flirty. Say you love the masculine message this place preaches and it would be very exciting to you if he looked into it. I'm sure the other guys here will have some good suggestions too. Good luck.

Edit: There is a RedPillWives subreddit. But there's been a lot of angst with all of that. I don't know the details so perhaps someone else can explain better.

Also, you could actually just show him this specific thread too.

[–]tbornott0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My friends wife bought him a kick ass manly knife. He did not understand the hint. You know, as long as we are sharing experiences.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The best way to get what you want from someone is to ask for it. He will give it. Or not.

[–]OnlyTRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not sure this will work, it will not feel genuine for him, it will not feel "right".

[–]pullypants0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would give him the opportunity to lead and be more dominant consciously without actually spelling it out. Ask him for permission to do something without it being required, ask him for his opinion, suggest that he handle something rather than you. Stick your arse out as he walks past and tell him it needs a slap. With the kids, ask him to sit with them and set some boundaries over any issues you might be having. You begin by leading by example, but he should catch on.

I wouldn't email, I'd talk. You could consider a good book left somewhere obvious, like 'Married Man Sex Life Primer'.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're approaching this from your vision of the situation. As a woman you worry about his feelings and how it affects social cohesion.

Well I have news for you, he's a man, he doesn't need that communication. So Vagina up and ask him for what you need, "I would like you to lead the marriage, I'd like you be this kind of man. I need this can you meet this need for me?".

It's really that simple to start.

[–]trp_dude0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How about this: point out some alpha guy who you want himt o emulate and talk about how attractive his behavior is?

[–]OnlyTRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It wont work if you tell him to do it.

Orchestrate a series of shit-tests, make his life a pain in the butt for a while, be a cunt , give him star-fish sex, withhold sex, etc. then strategically make him find this subreddit, specifically maybe a post that says it will fix the shit that you've been doing.

Also mix in this :

[–]trp_dude 1 point 6 days ago How about this: point out some alpha guy who you want himt o emulate and talk about how attractive his behavior is?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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