tl/dr: wife asked if I was having an affair or something like that. She's noticed a change in me and that's surprising because I haven't been at this for very long.
I started my MRP journey about four weeks ago. I expect the process to take 18-20 months. I've read NMMNG and WISNIFG and I'm lifting. Benefits thus far have been entirely personal - I've been happier, more confident and more energetic since I began this journey and finally feel like I'm living my life with purpose.
Today I dressed extra spiffy for work for no particular reason. Think Sunday best - sportcoat, French cuffs dress shirt, nice new shoes (first new pair in four years!) and I looked pretty darn good. My wife didn't compliment my appearance - she hasn't in years. (I didn't realize until recently that this is a sign of her lack of attraction to me.) This used to really bother me but since MRP I've been able to let go of her approval and I honestly don't give a fuck if she compliments me on my appearance. I did receive many, many compliments on my appearance from students and colleagues, both male and female, all day. All the wife said was: "Why are you so dressed up?"
Anyway, later in the afternoon she texts me: "Are you having an affair?"
Me: An affair? No.
Her: Or something like one?
Her: You're just so different lately!
This was all over text so I purposely kept my responses short. My first instinct was to (beta) reassure her repeatedly and offer up all the logical and emotional reasons why I wasn't. Caught myself and kept the answer short. If we were in person I would have joked about ALL THE AFFAIRS I'm having ALL THE TIME but didn't think that would go over well via text.
I was quite surprised at her questions and comment. I've only lost 4 pounds of 70 and haven't been lifting long enough to see any kind of change. I always dress and groom well so that's not new. Biggest changes I can articulate: I'm walking and talking with more confidence. I've dropped my voice into it's natural low bass register instead of speaking in high, no-threat land. I'm also speaking more loudly. I'm carrying myself more confidently and assertively. I also feel significantly more energetic and happy and I think that shows. This has been, other than a nasty fight a couple of weeks ago, about the best I've felt over a four week period in years.
Since I'm still new to this journey and am still working my way through the reading list I have trouble identifying and handling shit and comfort tests. Is this a comfort test? Is there a better way I could have handled it? Should I be surprised that she's noticed a change already?
Finally: I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to this community and the larger external community. I truly feel that this process has saved my life.