The importance of lifting

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March 29, 2016

Is liking manly muscles an AWALT thing? My wife says she doesn't but after starting to lift again last week (I'm really only one week into the red pill process) it brought back memories of my past attempts to use weight lifting to get into shape. As I gained some tone, definition and size I remember my wife would touch my arms during sex (and other times!) and really seemed to enjoy biceps and triceps. She didn't admit to liking them verbally but her physical reaction to them was fucking obvious. And, in lovely beta fashion I completely ignored that.

That said, I realize that lifting is important for this process not because it makes a man more attractive (SMV) but because it's tangible work that benefits only the person lifting. I lift for myself, no one else. Increased SMV is a valuable side benefit but not the most important reason for lifting.

Am I right in thinking this? I'm trying really hard to re-frame myself and why I'm doing these things. It's hard to get out of the mindset of "Do this - get that (from her)" and get instead into the mindset of "Do this for me and me alone."

Post Information
Title The importance of lifting
Author ornerycrank
Upvotes 7
Comments 44
Date 29 March 2016 01:59 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betaAWALTframesexual market valueliftthe red pill

[–]cj_aubreyRed Beret8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

My wife says she doesn't

If women told us clearly what they liked, none of us would be here at MRP.

As I gained some tone, definition and size I remember my wife would touch my arms during sex

Watch what she does, not what she says. Attraction is a lizard brain reaction like hunger or fear. Her conscious mind knows very little about what gets her wet and controls it even less.

[–]ornerycrank[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's so, so true. When we've discussed our lack of sex in the past she's always offered up helpful suggestions like "clean more" and "don't talk about sex so much" and "don't ask for sex just let it happen." Following those always lead to a distinct reduction in sexual frequency and quality. Her conscious mind is clearly full of shit - and she doesn't even realize it. She offered those suggestions with complete sincerity. Beta me didn't even call her on it.

[–]PurpleVeteranRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"clean more" and "don't talk about sex so much"

Absolutely. After picking up the kids' dirty dishes and washing your underwear, who wants to lay under your sweaty body while you pound away for 20 minutes? God you probably won't even think about her needs, so why are you even asking?

That's the reason for building the tingles... don't let her hamster or her bad day get in the way of reconnecting. Don't let it be about something else she has to do today, but carving out the time focus on each other. Bring on the kino, the teasing, the attention she wants. Foreplay shouldn't wait until you got her in bed, but should already be the frame both of you are in when you get there.

"don't ask for sex just let it happen.

That's what she wants, but she doesn't realize that things don't "just happen". It's up to you to lay the foundation, starting with yourself (lifting, hygiene) and developing the rest of your MAP. Be her captain, take control of your household, and show her that she's not just a maid/slave/hole. Read Sex God Method and practice DEVI. Be attractive. Don't be unattractive. And then you can take her around the way and the sex will just happen.

And for god's sake man, throw your dirty underwear in the hamper.

PS: As for her suggestions, she's looking for reasons to explain why she doesn't feel like having sex. That's like explaining any other emotions... the feelings are real, but those are just the things at the top of her mind right now. Don't give her a chance to convert bad feelings into concrete reasons to not have sex (or be with you), or you'll be washing your own drawers.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (13 children) | Copy

Women like strength, lifting goes beyond your musculature system, it extends to confidence in capability, appreciation of hard work, destruction of short term gratification, health, etc.

It's ok to say you lift to look good naked, I do. I want to be strong as fuck and I want to be the dad who chicks are looking at when I go to the beach.

Stop thinking, just lift to be a healthy man.

[–]ornerycrank[S] 1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy

Yeah I can see that. Hard to lack for confidence if you know you can lift 150lb over your head or pick 500lb up off the floor. I definitely want to be and look strong. That will be a welcome fucking change from being a fat schlub. It feels good to really, finally be taking charge of my own life - that's some real purpose.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

It does, but you really need to get out of your head. You're like the guy who has all these issues yet when someone mentions them you see, "Oh yeah, these are dumb worries".

Do that on your own, recognize where you need to invest time and energy. Lift weights for you, getting sexy is for you even though other people get the privilege of enjoying your body (eye candy). You lift to build that confidence yet at the same time you know you are setting the bar from which your wife will measure other men.

The better shape you are in, the smaller the % of men out there can compete against you. At the same time you need to keep your wife on her toes and make yourself interesting as it isn't just looking better, you need to keep her feeling too.

I'm a little off topic but for the sake of discussion you need to remember that other guys don't have to be better looking or more ripped, they just have to be different.

As long as you aren't predictable - you will be different and keep her craving your body, cock, mind, and attention.

[–]ornerycrank[S] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Thank you. Yes, it's hard for me to get out of my own head. As an INTJ I spend most of my time there and it's hard not to have such a cerebral approach to things - especially since I can see, intellectually, the value of the red pill approach. It'll take some time to get my emotions there as well.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

I would say fuck the personality label and be whomever you need to be at the moment. Always adapting and catering the self to the situation leads to optimal existence. Sometimes you need to be the super stoic quiet masculine presence in the room who says more by saying nothing.

Other times, you need to be the life of the party who graces every body with your presence.

Fuck labels, be the masculine man who does what he has to do when he has to do it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

fuck the personality label

That would be a good MRP or blog post.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Some guys wouldn't be able extrapolate that to personality tests and other excuses. I was thinking it could be a TRP main sub post like this:
"Personality tests like MBTI are a waste of time and only serve to rationalize your pathetic behavior. You're not INTJ. You're not a Sigma. You're just a loser. Stop being a loser."
Source: was more of a loser before, less so now.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

was more of a loser before, less so now.

Something I truly enjoy about speaking with men is how bluntly honest we are.

I was talking to a guy today and said, My back is gassed from deads yesterday to which he replied stop being a faggot, let's go for a run later Ok.

Easy day - right to the point, call it how it is, communicating OVERTLY with men.

Also, write the post you want to read.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Also, write the post you want to read.

It was worth a try. ;-)
I might post something in a few weeks on MBTI, MMPI, dark triad, and other personality stuff that RP talks about way too much, unless someone beats me to it.

[–]Redneck001Red Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Personality tests help define your preferred attributes. Doesn't mean you can't be otherwise. I'm a ISTP, but I speak in public for a living and can turn on the extrovert when needed. I just need some "recharge" time to myself afterwards.

Tests like MBTI can help figure out your strengths and weaknesses. Doesn't mean you can't function (well) in your weakness areas.

Just because a weakness is uncomfortable doesn't mean you should run from it. Just takes a little more effort.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

MBTI has categorization that doesn't hold up to scrutiny and doesn't have safeguards against gaming the test like MMPI. Ever wonder why almost all of TRP seems to be INTP/J? People answer that test as they'd like to be and the results have little meaning other than giving you an understanding of how you see yourself or who you'd like to be.

[–]PurpleVeteranRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mine said the same thing when I brought home the weight set.

Now I'm about 6 weeks into lifting and (a) she puts her head on my chest after sex instead of just spooning, (b) she traces my arms and shoulders with her hands, and (c) she started coming down to lift with me.

So, yeah, I'm still doing the lifting and cardio for myself, and I'm making good (newbie) progress... but damn if the wifely attention isn't appreciated either.

[–]ArchwingerRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

First, the bottom 80% of men are invisible to women. So when a woman says she doesn't like muscular men, eliminate the bottom 80%. Now look at the fittest, strongest, top 20%. "Not muscular" for her would be someone in the lower 10% of those. So you should be stronger than 80% of men.

Second, of course a woman is going to say she doesn't like muscles. Admitting to liking men for their appearance is admitting to being shallow. Stop listening to shit women say and observe their actions.

Third, you don't work out to look good for your wife. You work out for you. The best thing you can convey to her about your workouts is that it's not about her. When she tells you she doesn't like muscular men, shrug and say okay. Then continue to work out. It's not about her. If she really pushes the issue, just flat out tell her, "It's not about you." That has the added effect of some dread - if it's not about her, is it about another woman?

[–]ornerycrank[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes I agree - your third point is what feels different to me this time. Every time I've lifted before it's been 90% motivated by my desire to appeal to her more - outside validation. Not nearly enough of a motivating factor for long term success. This time feels different for me - it feels really fucking good to have something I'm doing that's purely for my benefit, and to think of it that way.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I realize that lifting is important for this process not because it makes a man more attractive (SMV) but because it's tangible work that benefits only the person lifting

It's also important because you can't bullshit the weights. You get out of it what you put in. The weights go up or they don't - if they don't then it's your fault.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

The Iron doesn't lie.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The corollary is that "The Iron will teach you a lesson." I tried overdoing it last week and pulled a muscle in my back. I've been off the weights since, hoping to get back (deloaded) tomorrow.

Listen to your body, gents.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Every now and then you need a reminder

[–]ornerycrank[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree completely. Weights are completely honest. As Henry Rollins says in "The Iron" - 200lbs is 200 lbs. The only way to cheat lifting weights is to use bad form - which will catch up to you eventually.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh, where to start. Aparently you've missed the last 100 posts on the 'why' so I'll make 101:

  1. encourages a mindset of future benefit from delayed gratification
  2. healthy man = happy man
  3. it's natures Adivan
  4. Muscles look cool
  5. strength is the attribute that which all others flow from
  6. because nice cloths look like shit on a fat man
  7. Girls love fucking muscles, especially competition.
  8. a reason to leave the house if she's being a cunt
  9. just go lift already
  10. something something medical bone density, testosterone, endorphins
  11. excuses suck,

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Do the things that bring results. Do not do the things that have not brought results.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

  1. Be Attractive
  2. Don't be unattractive

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

be less fagget, oats n squatz

[–]ornerycrank[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

My problem is almost nothing I knew to do in the past brought results. MRP appears to show a path towards success and I'm excited about that. It's also different from my past approaches, which is not at all shocking.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

so a good start would be to not do things that did not show results, or as IrateMD and TFA says, "don't be unattractive"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Still naval gazing?

Don't waste peoples time then

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Is liking manly muscles an AWALT thing?

Yes. Sure some women have a fetish for fat slobs. Some guys like to eat other men's cum out of their wife's pussy. Others like to rub shit on their chin during sex.

However, we can't account for every rare case or every twisted sexual deviancy because it is easy enough to generalize. Almost all men prefer shapely, thin, lithe, and willing over blobby, fat, and slobbery. Almost all women prefer strong, muscular (not freakish but well toned) and horny men.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Some guys like to eat other men's cum out of their wife's pussy.

I am desensitized to a lot of shit - this made my stomach flip - disgusting...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

fat chicks love fat men, cucks are the worst of white guilt.

Lift for no other reaon than not being one of them

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The first couple months of lifting, it was all about my wife for me. I didn't want it to be, and tried to convince myself it wasn't, but the truth is I was thinking of her the whole time. Eventually that went away (mostly) and I can honestly say now that I do it for myself.

[–]ornerycrank[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes - whenever I started a lifting program in the past my motivation was 90% to make myself more appealing to her. When I didn't see dramatic enough results I inevitably lost motivation after 2-4 months and quit. Outside validation is clearly not enough of a motivating force for me! Doing it for myself though is going to be different. It certainly feels different so far.

[–]RedDreadWolverine0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Are you really listening to your wife's words? Watch their actions not words.

Like the great Dante Nero says, "you don't ask the deer how to hunt deer... You ask the Hunter."

When your wife says she doesn't like muscle she's really saying, "I'm lazy, please don't make me work harder to keep up with you." Disregard the sounds coming out of her mouth and pay attention to what gets your dick into it instead.

[–]ornerycrank[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I read an article the other day saying basically that muscular men have more sex with more women then men without muscles. It was a "NO DUH" moment for me. Like - of course they do! It's clearly biologically hard wired. Fuck me.

It's amazing how women will lie to men though I guess beta me lies to women (especially my wife) about the same thing. I told her I was just as attracted to her when she was 250lb as when she weighed 180. I liked her better at 180 and even better at the 160 she was at when we first hooked up. NMMNG has opened my eyes to my Nice Guy dishonesty and I'm taking corrective measures now. I'm just starting to notice when I'm telling Nice Guy lies.

[–]RedDreadWolverine0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I swear that "fuck your feelings" runs on a loop in my head. Anything else is lieing to protect their fragile ego.

[–]ornerycrank[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Part of my problem is I really repress my emotions - NMMNG is helping me address that, as well. (And can I just shout out to how awesome that book is? So many fucking AHA! moments reading that where it described me to a T.) So I'm not even really in tune to when I'm having an unconscious beta emotional response to a situation. Just baaarely beginning to recognize those. Biggest breakthrough was on Thursday. Wife was super cranky and just shit testing constantly - little grubby things - and it was starting to grind my good mood down. I thought something very similar - "fuck that shit, her bad mood doesn't ruin my good mood" and I just STFU and ignored - and like a goddamn miracle she got better, our evening was actually mostly pleasant and I was stoic AF. A minor victory but still a victory.

[–]RedDreadWolverine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you're talking about "moods" like they matter you need to put more into your mindset. Work through gorilla mindset next. Your "mood against hers" is victim talk. Don't have any kind of "mood", be focused, be driven, you're not supposed to be a kite blowing in the wind. You should be a mountian, the wind needs to go "around" you.

You're thinking small right now. Improve your focus and get big.

(edit: take any kind of victim talk out of your speech and thought process. You're the sum of what you choose to think.)

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When she says "I dont like muscular guys" you shouldnt be thinking "skinny nerd", you should think "brad pitt in fight club".

[–]Redneck001Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women that say shit like that are out of shape, lazy creatures. The progression is:

  • I don't like muscles.

  • Why are you wasting time at the gym?

  • We can't afford your gym membership.

  • I wish I had time to spend hours in the gym

  • Do you have a gym girlfriend?

  • I'm thinking about joining the gym, I want to get tone, but not bulky. I'm going to do Couch2 5K.

  • I'm thinking about lifting weights, can you recommend a program?

  • I'm going to get in a bikini this summer.

  • Some boys at the gym were hitting on me

  • How's my squat ass looking?

  • I just like pleasing you

[–]Griever1140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Acta non verba....

this is literally copy and pasted here 10x a day. STOP LISTENING TO YOUR WIFE. Her actions are her words.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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