"I like skinny guys"

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[deleted]
March 20, 2016
7 upvotes

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Title "I like skinny guys"
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Upvotes 7
Comments 29
Date 20 March 2016 03:39 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207582
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4b67h0/i_like_skinny_guys/
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[–]jacktenofheartsRed Beret17 points18 points  (6 children) | Copy

What exactly is the problem here? Are you that unfamiliar with lifting that you think doing a high-impact strength training program is going to turn you into Dwayne Johnson overnight?

There is virtually no physical movement that is not augmented by strength training. A lot of strength gains are actually your central nervous system getting more efficient at coordinating your muscles. A lot of hard gainers - I'm one of them - typically say stuff like, "Yeah, I was a total gym rat during the summer. I didn't get huge but I got a lot stronger though." If you're already skinny, actually adding significant lean body mass requires you to consume more calories than you burn. It's literally physics - unless you eat at a caloric surplus, you won't gain mass. Where would that mass come from if you're burning those calories?

I don't think anyone on MRP advocates 'bulk and cut.' Most guys come into MRP as fatasses who were never below 20% body fat since puberty, which is why they describe their progress as "been lifting for three months, lost 40bs." A few come in as skinny fat, so lifting will get them some muscle definition and make them stop looking like an emaciated heroin addict with a pot belly.

But if you'd describe yourself as a "pretty fit" 150 lbs and 17% body fat, you can't tell me your wife wouldn't think you were sexier at 160 lbs and 11% body fat. That's roughly 20 lbs of lean muscle - and some fat loss - that makes you go from "Jon Hamm at the beach" to "Brad Pitt in Fight Club." Your net weight is only 10 lbs more, but you'll have a very different body, which will become readily apparent to everyone if you upgrade your wardrobe as well. Yet not so different that your wife or anyone else who prefers "lean guys" will be turned off. They will probably be very turned on.

Some women say "I don't like guys who look too ripped." And yeah, a bodybuilder who cut down to 6% on competition day, and has pictures taken in ideal lighting while flexing constantly and has those photo lighting enhanced in post-production - looks kind of ridiculous. But that same guy walking into a pool party would have every woman staring at him, he would look great but a lot more 'normal.'

Lean gaining 15 lbs of lean muscle will take you at least six months if you're 100% disciplined, closer to a year if you can only be disciplined about your diet/strength routine 80% of the time. If you think a couple protein shakes and reps on the bench press will turn you into JJ Watt, that's not really how it works.

I do a lot of outdoor activities too, and strength training only helps. Not only will your individual movements are stronger, and you'll probably find you're way less injury-prone and flexible. For the purposes of hiking/climbing or whatever forces you to lug around your own body, if you focus on strengthening your shoulders and lats, those strength gains will more than offset whatever mass you add. Which, like I said, probably won't be much until you start tracking your diet as well. If you're really that worried about it, hit the gym for a month but don't change your diet. I bet you'll notice some differences in your muscle definition when you look in the mirror, but your weight on the scale will be +/- 2 lbs from what it normally is.

TL;DR - Even you should lift, bro.

[–]tim_rp0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I don't think anyone on MRP advocates 'bulk and cut.'...A few come in as skinny fat, so lifting will get them some muscle definition and make them stop looking like an emaciated heroin addict with a pot belly.

What's the view on bulking from other pot-bellied-heroin-addicts amongst us? The default advice to most questions on /r/fitness seems to be "eat more" but I'm scared of regaining fat that I've successfully lost. I've deliberately started increasing my calorie intake - just a little - primarily to get more protein in.

What's a good approach for a middle-aged skinnyfat guy? Bulk-cut? Lean gain? Maintain? FFS just lift bro?

[–]mrpCamper0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Here is a good primer on nutrition for MRP folks trying to lose, bulk, cut or whatever.

Basically, increasing your protein intake while cutting back on sugar, will be beneficial to gaining strength and size while limiting putting on extra fat. This is provided you aren't increasing too much and that you have sugar in your diet to spare.

I basically spent the entire winter doing a clean bulk. Trying to gain muscle without too much fat. I'm now starting to cut back to a nice beach body look. But initially I went from about 25% bf to 9% bf. Gained a little over the winter and now I have to cut that extra fat off to get down a little lower.

[–]tim_rp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for that. Sounds like my strategy is on the right track.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the link to that. I want to work on bulking up since I walk around so lean; it would be nice to be above 10-12% BF for a change and have the mass to go along w/ it.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That term still makes me laugh. I hear it constantly from fatties - oh you're skinny, you wouldn't understand. "What?! Hey thunder I'm snacking on broccoli over here while you destroy that buffet "

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are in a dead bedroom because you actually listen to women. Stop that shit now.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

My gf told me the same thing. Even has a tshirt that says "I dig skinny pale guys". I can tell you that's complete and utter bullshit. She may not want a steroid hulk but she wants a man with muscle definition. Lift weights and ignore her protests or attempts to keep you skinny and weak. Again, it's total bullshit.

[–]MRPguy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. Hamster speak to rationalize her current and past decisions.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife said the same thing once. Even before RP I ignored it and didn't care.

There is no activity that gains no benefit from getting stronger.

You aren't going to just bulk up overnight. If you are already physically active and your muscles are used to strenuous activity, the mass gain effect of a strength building starter program like Stronglifts 5x5 will be minimal. The physiological effect that resistance training has at sets of 5 reps is more strength skill than mass.

However, your body will change. And regardless of what your wife likes... she knows what other women like... and that is the basis of dread from physique.

Lift. The gym time separates you from your wife at least 3 times a week.

[–]Riding_Officer_CCI1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) The discipline of lifting regularly, and the testosterone it produces is the very essence of what it means to be a man.

Everyone you meet for the first time is subconsciously making an assessment- either "can this man beat me in a scrap" or, if they have a vagina "could this man protect me from the world."

2) Dem gainz happen so slowly that they are the very definition of 'deliberate' on your part. The internet will be able to teach you how best to train into complement your sports. You won't turn into Hassfra Bjorgenssesennnsen (that mutant from Game of Thrones) by accident.

3) Lifting is for your wellbeing, not to improve your sex life. The improvement is a happy side effect.

4) Your wife, being I assume, a woman takes three quarters of an hour to choose an outfit for a night out, and as soon as your in the taxi, will lay into you for not suggesting the correct shoes for her. Why pay any attention to what she thinks she likes?

tl:dr- put some Pantera in your ears, some Ranger Panties over your balls and some chalk on your hands and lift some heavy shit.

Edit: iPhone spazfingers

Edit to add:

Her: "I like skinny guys"

You: ass slap, Shit Eating Grin (tm) "too bad"

[–]tim_rp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP - just search "lifting" on the main sub and you'll find your answer.

I discovered the Red Pill about six months ago and spent five of them hamstering away the need to lift. I had recently started running and thought that was doing the job. The gym was expensive. A whole shit-tonne of self-confidence issues around my weak, skinny, inflexilble body.

It was, in the end, this post from /u/The_Litz that kicked me into action. But it could have been any number of similar posts that finally got through to me.

I've been lifting 3-4 times a week for a month now. I'm not finding it easy but, surprisingly, I AM finding it enjoyable. I've noticed my physique improving but as you'd expect the differences are only slight. (And likely subject to confirmation bias.)

Now, my wife, like yours says she prefers skinny guys. I'm 6', 157lbs and skinny, but trending towards skinny fat. We had recently met a friend's husband for the first time and he was - no joke - built like Brad Pitt in Fight Club but even more muscular. (He was shirtless.) On the way home she said she'd prefer my body to his. The subtext was "I hope this lifting phase doesn't result in you looking like him".

Fast forward to this weekend and I'm chopping wood with an axe. My wife remarks how my muscles were popping out of my arms as I swung that axe down. These 'popping muscles' are likely due to her own confirmation bias. But the point is that my wife is paying attention. My body really hasn't changed in the last month, but that doesn't matter. Despite her saying otherwise, my wife is actually interested in what's going on with my body and her she likes the idea of where it's going.

Your wife might say she prefers skinny guys. But she probably doesn't know any better.

[–]wakethfkupneo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What you think she likes: http://i.imgur.com/TOZlpeA.jpg

What she really likes: http://i.imgur.com/wtE9tbc.jpg

And many guys who actually did hit the gym (hard) and packed some muscles will tell you the same story ... here's the funny one - this one's from MMSL forum; thread was about how to get your wife to give you BJs:

I used to get BJ's like while driving down the freeway from my wife when we were young and crazy and I was in decent shape. I never got wildly out of shape, but that stopped for a good long time, with children and other stupidity in a blue pill marriage. I put on an extra 20 lbs or so and got soft.

I've been lifting heavy stuff for a couple of years and MAPping my ass off. I've improved many structural and physical things. Not until I started getting really toned did I start getting them again, without even having to ask. I'm sub 10% body fat now I look good and I get my knob polished fairly regularly.

She insists - even now - that "She loved my body the way it used to look too". Yeah...un-huh. Like when she lets out a little moan while rubbing my biceps now? I don't think so.

Just hit the gym and ignore what she says. You won't regret it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

if she said she liked the taste of shit, would you believe her too?

5'10" 130 is a stick.

from - https://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/33yspf/1_year_progress_130lb_to_155lb_at_510/

http://imgur.com/a/uk5A5

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lol, you are the weight of a starving man. Don't listen to women, they just donț know

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or they Just plainly lie.

[–]MRPguy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He weighs 1/3 of a barbell.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your wife prefers to be married to a skinny, non muscular dude because there is no risk that a bunch of younger hotter women are going to be throwing themselves at him trying to get him to put a baby in them. Being married to a skinny dude gives her a sense of security. Being married to a dude who has no other opportunity for sex gives her a level of control that she needs in the relationship. Sex is a foundation of the relationship, and since you cannot even think about getting it anywhere else, she's got you on lock down. If you go getting all ripped and muscular, you are going to be attracting the attention of other women. That is undeniable.

Consider it like this: imagine you were discouraging your wife from wearing makeup, or any attractive clothing. If she stopped dressing up etc, then the level of attention she got while out and about would drop significantly. Her resistance to your marketing strategy is because she fears that it might actually work.

And in addition to the physique, you get a huge boost of discipline. Having a good physique is a display of high value, because it implies that you can commit to a grueling routine of physical exercise and diet. That you care for your appearance. That you care for your health.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ha. The old argument.

Ripped is not strength. I knew guys in the army, big and small, that were ripped. But they couldn't keep going. they couldn't do the hard work day in day out...constant and unending.

Lifting builds all the muscles, connective tissues, the whole thing. Just like desire, strength is not negotiable.

Tits on a fat girl don't' count.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks everyone, really appreciate the perspectives. Looking at everyone's responses, I think my concern was that before a serious climb I will be doing over 15 hours of cardio a week (at least one day of the weekend lugging around a heavy pack for a long time). Strength training becomes very maintenance and rep/endurance focused.

I think I was afraid that I would undo a year of hard work putting on XX lbs, and what's the point if she doesn't appreciate it. For my metabolism, putting on weight is hard and perhaps laziness to do the diet was a big part of my mental block (yes, it's much harder than drinking a shake and finding a squat rack). But from the comments here I am just going to do it, and find a trainer if I hit a problem. Maybe I will post my own success story here someday.

[–]Redneck001Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

For my metabolism Considering how little I eat, putting on weight is hard

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She believes what she told you is true, but it isn't.

This is a basic phenomenon that can improve your life if you accept it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How would lifting "potentially damage your hobby?". I am a guy that does A LOT of cardio. Run marathons, bike, and swim. None of this has been affected from starting to lift as well. In fact, I feel like the muscle I gain from lifting is helping me out in these areas by adding power to the movements I'm doing.

My wife took it one step further and said "I don't like muscley men." And then I got myself a 6pack and started adding muscle, and have gotten more "babe you are sexy" comments in the last three months than my ENTIRE 10 years of knowing her.

Once again RP rings true...don't listen to what they say, look at what they DO (swoon over muscles).

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]Theconfused10000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This makes me laugh. Before I started working out my gf "didn't like well built guys". Few months into going to the gym with slight gains we were talking about some guy/if he's attractive.

"No he's skinny anyway"

Lol. Women just like whatever fits the situation in that exact moment (but no doubt are attracted to thletic build)

[–]ArchwingerRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Lift. When a girl says she likes skinny guys, she means if you take the bottom 80 percent of men and put them into labor camps, then look at the remaining awesome 20 percent, she prefers guys less massive than 10 percent of them.

[–]GC0W30Fat, needs discipline2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

He seems to be saying that if he bulks up, mountaineering could become more difficult.

You're focusing on his wife's preferences, but in my mind I feel like he would almost be better off optimizing for his favorite sport, and figuring out how to keep his wife in line with proper frame control, etc.

I'd almost be happier getting a divorce and keeping my hobbies than bulking up over a woman and then losing my favorite hobby.

Actually, forgot almost, I would be.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

You are right, mountaineering is harder if you're bulked up. Apart from lugging my own extra weight plus the extra food in the pack, I will react differently (likely worse) to high altitude. So there are enough unknowns to jeopardize a favorite hobby that already sucks up a lot of vacation days from my job.

[–]MRPguy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

mountaineering is harder if you're bulked up.

So don't bulk up, just lift weights. Get stronger.



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