Gaming Your Wife For Dummies

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March 16, 2016

I'm looking for some food for thought on starting to game my wife.

"Game your wife" is one of those pieces of advice that floats about here, but advice and strategies appear to come from guys who are more established captains in their marriage.

Those of us who were beta bitches for a long time can't just go from zero to alpha. I'm interested in hearing what's worked for guys who have made it through that early phase of turning things around. What strategies did you use to begin to create tingles out of nothing? What advice or written resources helped? (I've tried a few PUA books but find they tend to be a little too focused on, well, pick-up.)

Applying back to my situation, something like the daily 10 second kiss suggested in MMSLP would be viewed as contrived by my wife or a sign of neediness. Likewise, being more physically dominating would likely be viewed unfavourably. For anyone who's slipped too far down the beta slope, even basic kinoing can be met with resistance.

The natural answer I jump to is to "just do what feels right to you" or "just be a fun guy". These are both good answers but to me seem more like a code for interacting with people in general. Not someone you're trying to "game".

I have seen some positive effects by being less predictable and handling shit in general.

Working off the assumption that my other MRP ducks are in a row, what could I be doing to chip away at my wife's repulsion and, in time, generate some tingles?

Post Information
Title Gaming Your Wife For Dummies
Author tim_rp
Upvotes 12
Comments 22
Date 16 March 2016 09:47 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are lifting, right? Getting ripped? Veins showing on your forearms? Six pack? Gun show?

Dressing well?

Good posture? Stand up tall. Shoulders back, head up?

Speaking calmly, assertively?

Gaming your wife depends on getting all this shit correct. If you are a spineless slug, any attempt at game will be repulsive.

[–]tim_rp[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I agree it's critical to have your other manly shit on point. For me, I'm definitely improving on all counts, but am nowhere near "there" yet.

I've really backed the hell away from my marriage over the last couple of months. It's been like hitting a big reset button. So now, I'm thinking about the best ways to kind of build that relationship back up again.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Also, read /u/IanIronwood s book of alpha moves if you have not. Lots of married game examples in there

[–]jumpingshitstorms9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Finally something I can add some value to. Started a few months back and out the gates knew that I had to start gaming the wife. There was no attraction and no tingles in my marriage. To me it was a matter of becoming unpredictable with my affectionate actions. I started with how I said goodbye when I leave for work. Some mornings I would ignore her ass saying nothing and then kiss her like I would never see her again before I left. Others I would be in a great chatty mood and give no physical contact or kiss. Then other occasions I will make her coffee, or breakfast and flirt like she was a girl I wanted to fuck in high school.

I do the same thing throughout the day. Some days I respond immediately to text messages and other days I make her wait for hours for non important shit. My wife doesn't know what to expect from one day to the next and it drives her crazy in a good way. Learn to be unpredictable and playful with the Mrs. Oh and fucking lift. Nothing makes pussy wet like muscles.

Vary everything, your approach, the areas you touch, the way you kiss, the things you say and text. If you always compliment, stop for a while. Do something that gets her attention. Make her try to figure out what you will do next and throw her for a loop.

[–]tim_rp[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've seen some gains by being less predictable, but I've been more focused on creating surprising experiences - let's-go-out-right-now sort of stuff. Your point is more about just keeping her on her toes as a kind of default setting. Don't let her think you're boring.

What's been the result of your work on this?

[–]jumpingshitstorms1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife pursues me now and seeks me out instead of me lingering around her like a lost dog begging for a meal. Since she doesn't know what I am going to do, she now is doing shit I haven't seen in years. Last night is a perfect example. Normally on Wednedays after dinner we do some type of family activity outdoors. Instead of getting the kids coats and shoes on I grab the laptop and head upstairs saying I have an urgent project to get done. 10 minutes go by while I work before my wife is sitting in my lap rocking back and forth asking me how long I would be busy. Shit like this never happened when I was a beta bitch.

She randomly rubs my shoulders, grabs my butt, feels my arms, and brushes my dick with her ass as she walks by. The fucking tingles are bringing back her attraction for me. Its a game worth playing.

You have to make her work for your attention and stop trying to do shit just to make her happy. When you randomly go out make sure it is on your terms and not something you think she would want to do. Be unpredictable with your activities. Normally get dinner and see a movie. Fuck that get tickets to a live show and get drinks. Like the outdoors fuck putt putt and go paintballing. Broke like me. Go read a book outloud at the library while she tells you to be quiet. Hahaha. Go have some fun man.

Go make some new experiences together that is nothing like you have done before.

[–]SepeanRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

plying back to my situation, something like the daily 10 second kiss suggested in MMSLP would be viewed as contrived by my wife or a sign of neediness. Likewise, being more physically dominating would likely be viewed unfavourably. For anyone who's slipped too far down the beta slope, even basic kinoing can be met with resistance.

That's a great opportunity to practice frame. Get into a positive spiral: do this stuff, she shows resistance and you use LMR techniques and/or show OI, this raises your SMV and she will be more receptive next time.

This isn't going to work from day one without a fight. There is resistance you'll have to overcome. There is no way to do this where she will just accept your changes without testing your mettle.

So power through with IDGAF attitude. You can't go from zero to alpha and you shouldn't try, but you should be pushing it a little all the time. Tingles won't happen if you don't take her outside of her her comfort zone.

[–]tim_rp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's a great opportunity to practice frame.

That's a really good point. Early in my relationship I would often playfully slap my wife's ass. She used to whine about it so beta-bitch-me stopped. After finding MRP I started doing it again. At first it was met with angry resistance, but I pushed through regardless and that has totally subsided now.

[–]dandar46003 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Playful ass squeeze or caress. Kissing her neck while her back is to you then waking away. Our if she's responding to the kiss then maybe wrap your hands around her stomach and lightly pull her toward you. All in situations where you don't expect our want to have sex at that time. Start with maybe once or twice a day and once she starts responding and inviting the touch escalate from there. If she stiffens when you do it, back off and don't try until the next day. Take your time and in the meantime work on yourself.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Random acts of senseless make outs.

When things are old and stagnant. Even if beta. You treat it like you're a guerrilla warrior.

Go in for your normal goodbye peck? Hold it. IIRC, 10 seconds is a MMSLP thing. I pay more attention to reception than time. You either hit a lip melt point or a stiffening. If she starts stiff then melts then mission accomplished. If she stays stiff or gets that way after the disengage if she hasn't already.

Crossing paths in the hall. Block hers and plant one on her.

Come up from behind and sniff her neck and grab her ass.

Whatever types of things you would have done childless, unmarried and dating her if you were hanging out.

[–]tim_rp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You either hit a lip melt point or a stiffening.

Holy shit, I've never thought about this before. This is actually profound advice.

[–]Olderpiller1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here is a suggestion, if you are lifting and looking good, sent her a pic and no not a dick pick. How about taking your shirt off flexing and posing. Yep it is douchy but hey a good game has to be a bit arrogant and funny.

[–]MRPguy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tease her.

Example: my wife was outside yesterday while I was watering the garden. I turned the hose on her for a second. She wasn't drenched but she got wet. She feigned anger. This is good.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

10 second kiss is contrived. Everything you are doing here is contrived. If you did this stuff naturally, you wouldn't be here.

I saw one guy say that he explicitly said to his wife, "We are going to kiss for 10 seconds", then get butthurt when she doesn't go 10. If you've done something similar, put it on a shelf for a few months cause it ain't going to work.

If not, and she just starts pulling away before 10 seconds, then gets pissy when you make her stay, here's what you do:

Grab her and start kissing. Count in your head. When you feel her starting to pull away, squeeze her in closer, give it one more half to full second, then smack her ass and walk away. Do this regardless if she goes one second or eight.

If she gets mad, shit tests, hamsters, ANYTHING, just smirk. Now, it's not a condescending smirk, but a "I know you really want more" smirk. Otherwise walk away.

The idea behind the 10 second kiss isn't to go exactly 10 seconds, watching a stopwatch behind her back. Rather, the idea is to let her experience you being dominant. You end the kiss, not her. But in order for it to work, you have to pay attention to the signs that she is done, and then do the above. Above all, smirk and don't be a butthurt Billy when she tears herself away and starts shit testing you. That means it's working

[–]MRPguy1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

10 second kiss is contrived.

10 second kiss is the single best indicator of me keeping my marriage on track and sex where I want it to be. If I can hit this several times a day she is willing whenever I am wanting. Without it my failure rate is much higher.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

100% agree!

By contrived, I meant that it is something you contrive (planned) to do, not that it was not worth doing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Be sure to take good notes on this right here and enter it into your spreadsheets boys!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You have a spreadsheet?? Me too!! I feel like we should be spreadsheet friends or something.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Nah, I'm more of a moleskine man myself. Your points are worth jotting in my notebook though.

"Notebooks, what good are notebooks?" Love that song. Lol.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not going to lie, I had to Google that. That's a fine notebook sir. Damn fine.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you're worried about her response to you being dominant, you are whipped. Be confident and firm and do the things you want with constant forward pressure.

Now, if you aren't lifting and dressing better and increasing your SMV, the only thing you're doing is wasting time. You can't expect to swoon over a tentative doughboy.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being unpredictable is great. Take her out to a restaurant or some other place and don't tell her where just tell her to look nice.

Another one that's worked for me is take her some place "dangerous" and let her find comfort in your confidence. I don't know where you live or whatever but this could be walking her through a sketchy neighborhood to get to where you want to go, or maybe just parking in the dark section of the mall parking lot. Let her know you're not afraid to go to sketchy areas, just don't overdo it and end up murdered in a drug house.

Obviously the most effective is having her see you engaging with other, preferably more attractive women. This can definitely backfire though so make sure you're on top of your game. Having her see you get rejected or rebuffed by another female will kill any attraction she already had for you. If you can make another girl genuinely laugh in front of your wife, you're doing it right.

Work on push pull dynamics. Be nice and sweet one moment then just disengage and do something else. The goal is that you want her to miss you when you're not around.

I've taken some good stuff from YouTube videos about game, like some of the real social dynamics stuff which has helped me when talking to women, and just strangers in general, while out in public. It's helped a little with my gf but I use it more to engage with new people.

As far as physical dominance stuff goes, try cornering her somewhere and making out with her. My gf loves it when I block her in her closet and start making out with her. You don't have to be pinning her arms behind her back or have your hand around her throat to let her know you are the dominant one. Try just picking her up, either in your arms or when you hug her. Pick her up and spin her around, and make it look easy.

There's a lot to do, and it gets easier as you get more attractive from lifting and passing shit tests. Don't be afraid to look into some PUA stuff as well. I know they're frowned upon but the principles behind what they do are still solid. They need to be tweaked, obviously, but AWALT and the moves that work on the 21yr old club slut are going to work just as well with the 40yr old married woman, just in a different context. Just don't start wearing a stupid hat or feathery scarves and a fake name.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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