31, married for 10 years, 2 kids, and been a beta bitch the entire fucking time. Knocked her up, did the "right" thing and been miserable ever since. That was until I found and took the red pill.
Devoured the MRP side bar, read all the popular blogs, and have been slowly making changes which has made a great impact on my overall life quaility but still a noob and need some guidance.
What I've Done:
- Internalized she is my wife, not my fucking mother- I pick out my own clothes, cook my own meals, schedule my own damn appointments, and make my own choices. No more asking if it is OK if I wear this shirt or use the TV to watch the game. How pathetic of a beta bitch I was. I deserved all of the disrespect and rejections I got. In retrospect, I spent years trying to make my wife a leisbein because I acted like the woman in our relationship. "Hey honey lets rub our pussies together before you go to bed" (Biggest change with immediate impact)
- Learned to say no (pass shit tests) - I was the fucking errand boy that would do whatever my wife or her family would ask me to do. I was the personal shit taster. "Is that corn? Did you have corn yesterday honey? This shit you are giving me is extra flavorful today" I was surrounded by so much shit (tests) you would think I worked in sanitation.
- I lead by making decisions quickly - "We have a battle session (play date) for the boys at 3". I tell my wife where to be and what we are doing. "Put on something cute and be ready to go at 7. We are going out for dinner."
- I manage my house like a general instead of a private - All responsibility falls on my shoulders. If someone fails or something breaks it is because I didn't give clear instructions or I failed to recognize the symptoms before it got bad. When shit goes wrong, i find out why and make a plan to avoid it in the future.
- Back to eating clean and working out. Arms, shoulders, and legs and showing definition. Fucking stomach has a way to go. I would almost say I am fuckable but do to my hjgh testosterone from lifting that doesn't mean much. After lifting I would fuck a pig if she looked at me long enough. (Just kidding, I only fuck animals that can stand on their hind legs)
- Dress better, groom daily, wear colonge, bought new items, follow mens fashion closely and use it to create my one style - as ugly as I am it is shocking how many heads muscular arms and nice clothes turn. I swear I gave a lady an eyegasm from a scarf I wore that complimented a itchy ass wool sweater I wore.
- Hobbies outside the home (fucking stuck here) - made some boys at work, introduced them to the pill and started to go out once every few weeks for food and drinks. First time out was main event 1: Came home and the Mrs threatened to leave and take kids to another state where we grew up calling me a cheating asshole. (Hamster on overdrive) I recognize it as a comfort test, assure im committed to my relationship, and dont chase her as she storms out to sleep in the kids room. She returns and apologizes then trys to make me promise I wont go out again. Set a boundary saying I will continue to go out and she will have to get used to it. It is important that I have friends i can relate to.
Here is the issue. This was two months ago...now every time I leave when I return she goes on a fucking rant about how im cheating and ruining our relationship. I guess all my improvements have her nervous as fuck. Hamster cant run any faster or that exercise wheel will fly off the hinges.
She actually asked me the other day was I doing all this because she doesn't put out enough?
My question to you rude, blunt, fucking assholes who saved my life and potentially my marriage..is how do I deal with this continued compliance test. She is damn near falling apart in front of me out if fear of losing me and I only go out once a month. Do I nuke it and say im not cheating bitch shut the fuck up about it (in a child friendly PC manner) or keep hitting her with the kiss and pat on the butt saying you have nothing to worry about as long as you do your part on keeping us together. (Aka give me ass on request for the foreseeable future. Haha)
Just heard: Watch what she does, not what she says in my head and may have just wasted a half hour writing this post. Anyway going back to work on me. Fuck it. Guess I'll go shoot some hoops with the boys in a sleeveless tight fitting shirt just to start some shit. Its my life. I will do what the fuck I want in it.
Oh I am using game, kino, and the first three levels of dread but the desire for her is still not there. I was a bitch for too long. May take a while to turn the tides in my favor. Sex is infrequent about once every two weeks but I don't initiate as often due ti the fucking anger phase. Still struggling with all the lies society gives about relationships. Damn red pill has me questioning everything now from politics, religion, and parenting. Trying to figure out what's real. Its some deep shit.