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Need help with what to say to LTR

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February 24, 2016

LTR 3.5 years. I admit I acted distant and wasn't there for my girl when she needed me but also I am a guy and enjoy hanging out with my guy friends and doing dumb stuff. A year ago my gf caught me texting other girls, I brushed it off as no big deal and she begged me back. Couple of weeks ago she said she loves me as a person but can't be like that with me anymore, it's not healthy for her as a person, she wants to do stuff for herself again, blah blah.

I admit I was blindsided and acted a little BP in front of her but tried to maintain frame. Have been working on myself, consistently lifting, reading, djing, stuff that makes me happy. She has called me once a day every day since Sunday I have started ignoring her calls (instilling dread) as I don't think she wants to get back but rather have me there for emotional support during this time.

Yesterday afternoon she texted me "im sorry about the calls. I'll never stop wanting to talk to you." Part of me wants to be like then why did you break up, or to take the cold approach "we both made a decision. there is nothing left for us to talk about." but I really don't know what to say or how to handle this.

Post Information
Title Need help with what to say to LTR
Author gododgers17
Upvotes 9
Comments 15
Date 24 February 2016 07:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
dread gameframelong term relationshiplift

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (8 children) | Copy

I'm coming to a conclusion about the value of this place. I'm sure most of the guys in MRP can give him a great answer to this, but what's going to happen when OP has it come up again, and again, and again?

Gonna teach you how to fish today brother, and keep it ADHD short, and diabetus sweet:

Put down the phone. Don't talk on it anymore unless you are strictly talking logistics, no more adjectives, period.

Go lift some weights. don't run, don't yoga, lift. lift heavy, lift big, lift often. Think of it like iron man, and without that shit on your chest, you're going to die.

Take a look at your life, own the failures and fuckups you are putting out there. read the sidebar here and TRP, learn about how the fuck a man can live his life if he sheds the idea of 'doing it for her'. Make a plan to get to where you want to be when you're the man you aspire to.

Then come back, and answer the text, guarantee it's going to be a damned lot better than telling her anything at all, because the next time you have to improv an answer, you'll be right back here, hat in hand

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

OP sounds immature. He has some general growing up to do in addition to any MRP type of advice he needs to absorb. As it goes with all the issues here, a girl isn't really the problem.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I should make a bot that posts this to every post in here. It's what worked for just about every guy whose worth a damn

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great reply. Would also like to add "Be attractive, Don't be unattractive"

[–]gododgers17[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I appreciate this post a lot, I have read everything on the sidebar and loads of material. I am maintaining the 'I am the prize' mentality and working on myself for myself. It's still hard though knowing I fucked up so bad when this girl cared about me so much and I couldn't realize it and grow up and be a real person.

Good advice though I will continue to maintain focus on myself. But what did you mean by only use the phone to talk logistics?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's still hard

nothing worth having is easy.

And logistics are about getting things done, the oppositte of feelings.

I'm going to the store

Pick me up a coke


I'm sorry that...

I feel

Send me tit pics

[–]Redneck001Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Send me tit pics.



[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How much she cares about you isn't something you lost and can never get back. It is just a metric of your SMV relative to the other men she has available, with a little bit added or deducted for shared history, loyalty, etc.

So get your shit together and man up.

[–]enfier0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's still hard though knowing I fucked up so bad when this girl cared about me so much and I couldn't realize it and grow up and be a real person.

At some point your realize that you are just being emotionally manipulated. If she cared so much, she wouldn't have broken up with you. As you read the sidebar, you'll learn to play this game, but for right now your winning move is just not to play.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When she was telling you she couldn't be with you anymore and needed to do stuff for herself, that usually means she has another, higher value guy in her cross hairs and is going to make a play to secure commitment from him.

It seems like it didn't work out for her and she started trying to resecure your commitment. Ignore her, do not say anything conversational or placating. The only thing you should be texting her at this point is whay you're doing this weekend and telling her to come a long. If she says no, ignore her again until you're doing something else and want to invite her along.

[–]gododgers17[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks guys, I was feeling a bit down earlier but this helped me get my shit together and put it to the iron. I actually just got off the phone with her (she called me with a different number) and she was crying, asked if I am doing better than ever now that she's gone (I said “it’s so sweet that you think about me. i always liked that about you.”) never answering her leading questions head on, etc. I acted indifferent the whole time, even happy, didn't fall for any shit tests, and said that I had to go but maybe we can catch up some other time.

ETA: She also said she didn't realize I cared about her, I said I did but now we have to move on. I'm sure this will get her hamster spinning. She also asked about my new job and I just said it was going well.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

asked if I am doing better than ever now that she's gone She also said she didn't realize I cared about her She also asked about my new job and I just said it was going well.

She's putting words into your mouth. You see this right? What this is is she's trying to convince herself that she made the right move, and make you a distant orbiter by keeping some attachment with you. If she hears "no im a wreck without you" it makes her feel good because her ego needs that. Even if you acknowledge "yeah I'm doing better without you" it still fuels her because you are having thoughts and emotions about your life now versus then. As long as she is in your thoughts she wins. Its like crack to her. Go read those three quotes again. Each one is her trying to be in your thoughts/life.

I really don't know what to say or how to handle this.

Figure this out now. If you're really done then cut ties completely. Don't answer the phone at sll. The mere act of picking up feeds her. The only other option I'd take is to plate her. She's been demoted to plate, taking her back is not an option unless she proves herself at plate level.

[–]enfier0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What result are you looking for out of talking to her on the phone?

[–]SexistFlyingPig0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It seems like she just wants more from you and you're not willing to give her more.

You didn't mention anything about the sex in the relationship so I don't know why you're here.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You still have the pussy on the pedestal. Take it down. This girl nexted you, and she wants to use you as an emotional tampon while she moves on. She gives no fucks about you, she just wants to know you're feeling bad, so she can feel better about herself.

Go Radio silent. Find some plates and start spinning. You need to go Michael Corleone on her and shut that fucking door.

Somewhere you fell down and she lost the tingles. It happens, be glad you weren't married. But its time to move on. Go get some strange so you can learn how to detach.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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