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Have you had this insatiable urge to say fuck it and get a side chick?

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trendynamegoeshere
February 21, 2016
8 upvotes
askMRP

I have been at MRP a year. She still uses sex as a weapon and I still slip up all the time because I aint perfect. I am re-reading all the sidebar in hopes to get even better at being alpha as fuck.

It seems like the more OI I become, the mpre fucking bitchy and hateful she becomes. The more dread I instill, the more sex becomes a weapon. She tries some seriously manipulative shit and I am ready to walk out the fucking door and take some college aged chicks to pound town with my new found self confidence and muscles.

Am I the only one? Does her insanely manipulative shit mean dread is working?


Post Information
Title Have you had this insatiable urge to say fuck it and get a side chick?
Author trendynamegoeshere
Upvotes 8
Comments 19
Date 21 February 2016 04:43 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207652
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/46tu99/have_you_had_this_insatiable_urge_to_say_fuck_it/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

OK, you asked 2 questions:

(1) Am I the only one? (2)Does her insanely manipulative shit mean dread is working?

(1) No, you are not the only one. There are over 6000 users of MRP. You know the real answer, is you have more work to do and get control of YOURSELF and get past your anger stage.

(2) Yes, it does mean dread is working. You asked the question because you suspect the answer. She can get worse or better and she will self select, and you can't control her. You can only control you and you are still struggling, because dread is about making you better, not her.

You know you have made progress, but you are still really too invested in HER. We have all been where you are. Get past the angry beta behavior and it will get better.

[–]trendynamegoeshere[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I was gonna quote you but you just told me what I pretty much needed. I am in this limbo of letting go. I know I can have a happier life outside of this marriage and I am ready to go. I propose its not her as much as its thos strong moral thing that my parents never gave up/broke up and neither did hers.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The problem so many MRP'ers deal with, is that they have improved and the wife hasn't caught up yet. If you cheat, it changes everything. Sometimes it just nukes your marriage, because you are too angry to be cool about it. You know you need to work on yourself anyway. Get past all that anger, then make a DECISION about cheating or nexting her. You know you aren't ready yet.

Edit: Fuck the moral thing - you just aren't ready …..YET.

[–]cj_aubreyRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

To answer your questions in the post title, yes and yes. But this situation is my fault and my kids are amazing so I try to fix my marriage. Pre mrp I pressured my wife to fuck me by threatening to leave. This created a situation where she associates my initiating with pressure and anger. Post mrp I'm improving but this association is still there. If i apply dread (especially emotional withdrawal) overtly (like a beta noob idiot) it triggers this same adversarial dynamic. Thats my current issue. Have a look at your house and make sure you're not in the same boat because dreading harder will make it worse.

[–]alpha_n3rd4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Prepare yourself for the main event. It's coming. There will be a confrontation. She will tell that you have to change or else she will leave. You have to be 100% outcome independent. Tell her that you want to stay together but that she is free to go whenever she likes. And the only changes you're going to make to yourself are self-improvement changes, not being her bitch changes. End the discussion and go out. Don't drag it out, let the hamster finish the job.

After the SECOND main event my wife pretty much gave up trying to dominate me and accepted my alpha status.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy

Fucking women should be the default.

You wife gets first shot. She gets to weaponize because you give her the ability to weaponize.

You're trying to weaponize it too. You're just no good at it.

[–]Redneck001Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Your wife gets first shot.

This. Literally. I told my wife this. She got it.

[–]MRPguy1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That quote from you was a watershed moment for me, wish I could thank you somehow. It was basically "I'm going to have sex, we are married so I'm giving you the first shot at it."

It gets no simpler.

[–]Redneck001Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This stuff really is simple.

[–]trendynamegoeshere[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You're trying to weaponize it too. You're just no good at it.

Are you saying that you interpret MRP as weaponizing sex like a woman? Or that you suspect that is what I am actually trying to do?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

i suspect that's what you are trying to do. you say as much

FUCKING NUKE.

the mentality is very different than - I'm going to fuck. it's your choice whether i'm fucking you or i'm fucking someone else. this would be a statement of fact and should be treated as such. if that's your default mindset, your body language will communicate this too. you will get congruency tested to hell for it though.

[–]trendynamegoeshere[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nah I meant she went nuke. She flew off the handle and I laughed about it.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

do you want me to go through and point out how you're trying and failing to weaponize sex or are you going to beat up your hamster on your own?

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you saying that you interpret MRP as weaponizing sex like a woman? Or that you suspect that is what I am actually trying to do?

Yes, but not like a woman. We weaponize sex like a man. We don't like it but that is the position society- and our own weakness- has forced on us.

[–]Deadliftproblem4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

The only way she is able to weapons sex is because you care. Stop caring.

If you initiate, and she rejects; find something more awesome to do. NOT porn, videogames, or screen time. Build a fire, make some shit, work out, ADD VALUE TO YOU with this time.

Also, you're still angry. Anger tends to be interpreted as loss of frame. Find your happy, within yourself. It's much easier to pass shit tests when your happy.

[–]enfier2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a third option - just to kinda check out of your marriage. I don't mean go get a girlfriend, just stop trying so damn hard to win and instead focus on what you want. If you want sex, go for it, if you get shot down, whatever.

Reading through your replies, I'd suggest you slow the fuck down and keep working on you. When you push for control and it's not a slam dunk contest, you get a big fight. When it's painfully clear who has the most to lose, things change.

[–]strategos_autokratorRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I still slip up all the time because I aint perfect.

This is a BP mentality. You don't have to be perfect. But you can always identify why you keep failing at that task, and take steps to not keep making the same mistake over and over.

The problem is you are still looking at her approval and her actions. You don't have OI at all. She smells that. That is why she is being bitchy.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a BP mentality. You don't have to be perfect. But you can always identify why you keep failing at that task, and take steps to not keep making the same mistake over and over.

For me, that "insatiable urge" was really validation addiction aka "looking for mommy". This is beta AF - being addicted makes you trivial to control from the outside. This, in turn, does not generate tingles.

But you know what, OP? Fuck tingles. Being independent for yourself is the best feeling, best prize you can get.

[–]trendynamegoeshere[S] 0 points1 point  (34 children) | Copy

A for instance.. trying to get the kid to sleep, I messaged her so we didnt have to speak and said, "Are you gonna go to sleep once she passes out?" And she responds, "Yeah what am I supposed to do?" I respond, Whatever you want to do. And she says im going to sleep then. Me: I am going out then once we get her to sleep.

FUCKING NUKE. Yelling GTFO and "you dont fucking care about me" and other stupid shit and I laugh it off and fog it and Agree and Amplify until she shuts the fuck up.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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