Handling transition from shit to comfort test vis-a-vis withdrawing attention

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January 27, 2016


My life and relationship with wife continues to improve under MRP praxeology, in particular her following my lead. Just this weekend, the same idea (going out with couple X) that I had suggested three months ago and had shit down with a howitzer was readily accepted as “wonderful”. Great sexy times this weekend four days in a row (Friday,S,S,M) with couple blowjobs. As is still the case per my first post https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/40j5i1/weak_frame_is_my_biggest_problem/; these were all had in the morning.



I took yesterday off with no sex-initiation on my part. I initiate this morning ~3am and get soft no. Rollover and go back to sleep immediately. Initiate again at 5:30 am after alarm goes off. Get a hard no; albeit delivered very pleasantly with none of the old “how dare you” attitude. IDGAF (truly feeling it, and besides I got muscles hurting I did not know existed after first training in BJJ gym last night) so I get up and start getting ready for work.


Old beta-me would have begged, bitched, whined; and initiated another half dozen times followed by seeking hugs/validation later-morning once out of bed (barf….).


Work-mornings in the bathroom/closet are part of “our” time as we rarely talk at work. Most days now I am gaming the wife “when my feet hit the floor”, with KINO, banter, teasing, etc. in the morning. When I get a hard no I am withdrawing this attention; but not ignoring her if she ask me a question. Basically, I am trying to get the fuck out of the house ASAP. When I get back home from work, I am back in the game and all fun again. First few months after swallowing pill, she just ignored me right back in the morning. In the last month (all three times); her response has flipped. Now she is pushing the KINO and initiating conversation to which I am providing minimal response; but not ignoring. Then later in the kitchen as I am heading out, she rushes into my arms with the most doe-eyed look “aren’t you going to hug/kiss me” look…..to which I do followed by a slap to the ass and out the door I go…. After a decade+ of living with my wife’s concrete bunker frame; seeing her willfully enter mine is exhilarating.


Given my long history of epic-fails on comfort test, one part of me say I am handling this correctly. On the other hand, feel like I am rewarding bad behavior. I have considered re-initiating in bathroom; but am pretty sure this is wrong approach to comfort test. Plus, once she is in “go to work” mode initiating has never worked in the past. Any suggestions on how best to handle this change are appreciated.

[Edit] Last paragraph missed...

Post Information
Title Handling transition from shit to comfort test vis-a-vis withdrawing attention
Author Persaeus
Upvotes 10
Comments 9
Date 27 January 2016 03:22 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207702
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/42xx97/handling_transition_from_shit_to_comfort_test/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
hard nobetaframekinocomfort testgame

[–]CountpudyoolaMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Gaming is good, I'd just be leery of doing it so much that it becomes a constant smp boosting validation machine for the wife.

Ebb...and flow.

Keep it random enough to not become common place.

Sounds like you're starting to read her a little better with how you should react. It's good to leave them hanging and wanting more from time to time.

So ... what was the question?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Last paragraph got missed in copy/paste. Please see last paragraph in OP.

[–]CountpudyoolaMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

once she is in “go to work” mode initiating has never worked in the past

So it may be more about not setting yourself up for failure.

I think a missed opportunity when the frequency is regular is better than a botched one.

This doesn't mean you don't try when A) your back eyeballs are floating in all the backed up baby batter or B) things have been going so well that a setback (if it occurred) would hurt you much.

Hell, I'm not even sure any choice is a bad choice at this moment, so you could be overthinking it. You could always playfully initiate and have a funny ok-but-later diffusion ready.

In the ideal world of SMV 10+ you'd say bend over and she'd say how low? You're not living in that. And I'd wager to say there's a limited lifespan for any girl around long term that she's willing all-the-time.

Again, it's all what you want. If that's your a#1important thing , well then she should be on board or make way for a girl who may be lower in other areas of value but always willing to drop trou. I ain't judging.

My theme for today apparently is balance.

So I'm interested in the other vets takes as well.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

simplify. (having said that, I just downloaded a lot of my thoughts on the issue, and it trailed off. I'm leaving it up though, so see if there's value for you here)

run this as an experement. see what works, shed what doesn't. forget how she reacts to things, do what you want.

want to sex her up in the bathroom? Initiate. try 100 things, fail 99. Now you have one that works, game.

example, have a goal

the old PUA adeage was it was 10 hours of contact from meeting a girl to sleeping with her, 4 phases, opening, attraction, comfort, LMR. opening involved establishing abundance, engaging their interest, and bridging to the next.

attraction was about securing 3 IOI's (or more) DHV, negging, and a bridge to the next.

comfort involved generating tingles without making it look scripted. It's hakneyed now, but this is where, escalate kino, and develop 3 venue switches (hence, text game is for logistics)

then LMR is abotu establishing that she isn't a slut, this just happens and she has plausable deniability with friends, and sex.

I'm not suggesting any of it, and I'm sure PUA has moved on since 1999 when I was big into this. The point is it's got defined goals. Metrics you can use to see if there is success or failure. Define yours. break them down in a systematic way, so you can break a big problem (I offer no comfort, she offers no sexual access) into discrete elements that you can work on.


go to work mode is sexually unavailable. break it down, have a plan, try things, and apply what works, disregard things that dont. What 'game' materials have you read up on?

real world example

I'm a huge blowjob fan. Huge. Spouse gave them, but never good ones, and never often. Post pill, worked on that specifically. went from talking about it (which didn't work, created pressure) to not talking about it (better, but still too much in her court) eventually started implementing it as a specific part of my dread routine. Some takeaways that I've found worked for me to various extents.

  • bringing it up talking about 'other people' e.g. when she talks about 'that other bitch' getting attention and not being pretty. talk about how it's probably because of oral.

  • shoving it in her face, telling her to take it (with some bass in the voice). this works amazingly well, so long as you build up some sexual tension, foreplay, handplay first. I find when she is on the 75% mark, she's remarkably receptive to dominant commands.

  • After a DHV from pre selection, usually unprompted one that night. establishing it as my kink does signal that it's an easy way to get comfort from the relationship.

  • reward good behaviour. She's caught onto this one, but likes the arrangement. After a session, she often says 'now start giving massages again' as a little shit test.

I'm sure as I get higher SMV, more pre selection, and tighter strategies, this will only improve. I am a better man, and she wants to please and keep a better man. This has been the proces of establishing the how of the above. It's really only 3 things for me:

  • sexually available and enthusiastic
  • hold a budget, would prefer long term savings
  • career ambition. I have no desire for a SAHM, or someone hitting 30 and dropping out when sufficiently comfortable. femenism won, my job isn't baccon bringer anymore.

And any fights I actually engage in are related to one of the above not being improved, by removing attention, affection, or commitment. I'm not at ultimatecads level of 'me first' yet, but it's on the table, if she isn't working on me, than i will. All of a girls bullshit that a guy in here complains about is because they put up with it. And a lot of it generally goes away when you can deal with it properly.

Then you're at a point where you create "necessary" drama, to provide tingles and keep her acting right. Bitch managment. It's just a game, but like bruce lee said:

fighting is play, but play to win

[–]PersaeusRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for all the ideas. Only read "Models" so far; but have few more PUA books on my 60 DoD challenge. I agree shoving in the face or giving commands works (only thing working for me now on BJs). I've got a long way to go on creating "necessary" drama; but am actively working up my game plan here.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

watch and listen to ultimatecad, he's the goto on here for creating tingles through drama.

[–]SexistFlyingPig0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I can't tell you how many men I've met who were married for 40+ years and miserable. If they only had The Red Pill, they would have been so much happier (and so would their wives!).

Great Field Report.

This post probably belongs in /r/marriedredpill, since you're not really asking a question. You shouldn't be seeking external validation because you're already getting massive internal-to-the-marriage validation in the form of daily sex. That's your benchmark for success, not what random internet dudes tell you.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for reply. Definitely not seeking validation from internet dudes so no worries their; but as my first post summarizes I definitely have major issues with validation seeking from wife. I can see from your comment above, and the lack any direct answer to my question that my post is poorly worded. So my question, associated with step 4 of dread (withdrawing attention) is; when the post-withdrawal shit tests starts turning into comfort test: should I a.) provide comfort and risk rewarding bad behavior (in this particular case before I got out of the house), or b.) not provide comfort.


I know this may seem like a petty/tactical question; but I have in hindsight made many tactical errors in my implementation of MRP because of inadequate understanding and am trying to avoid these errors.

[–]SexistFlyingPig0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are experiencing the natural consequences of your actions.

You made a choice in how to behave (withdrawing attention when she refuses sex), and as of last weekend this has resulted in sex with blow jobs four days in a row.

So, was your decision a good one or a bad one? Do you think you've made a tactical error somewhere? Perhaps your error caused your wife to accidentally slip and fall, but fortunately she caught her fall by landing on your dick. With her mouth. Repeatedly.

This is what I meant by not seeking validation.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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