What to do with overt contracts?

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January 17, 2016

You read that right.
Sometimes after gaming my wife, she will make sex conditional upon a backrub or something like that.

I have been at this long enough to know that my SMV is not high enough. But do I give in? Do I give her the backrub to get sex? It sounds like a shit test, but when I responded with amused mastery, she said condescendingly "it's called foreplay".

I ignored her arrogant response , and we still ended up with sex.. But I feel like I could have handled it better.


Four months in, I feel like I am doing fairly well . I read the sidebar and lift a lot. Sex is about once or twice a week, but slightly begrudgingly from her. Before unplugging, she knew I was dissatisfied with the lack of frequency so she still tries.

Killing it at work and as a parent.

Post Information
Title What to do with overt contracts?
Author Kosmoknots
Upvotes 7
Comments 12
Date 17 January 2016 05:26 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207732
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/41c7z4/what_to_do_with_overt_contracts/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
amused masterysexual market valueshit testlift

[–]strategos_autokratorRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

its a shit test. if you comply like a little beta that she can control, she might let you have sex with her. your frame has to be one where you have sex when you want, such a horny caveman she cant delay him.

with that said, i do enjoy giving massage, but i do it from a frame that her body is mine and i am playing with it because i like to. i do it for myself and it is fun foreplay. but this wont work in response to your wife's request that is about who controls things n

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with you. massage her and do whatever the fuck your want with her body.

I also think that, depending on where you and the wife are at, this is not an overt contract, but her way of initiating without seeming like she's "easy to get". For example, I give incredibly naughty coconut oil massages that always end in my cave manning her. Thus, if she asks for a coconut massage under any pretext, I know she's basically initiating sex and hoping for the kind of quality sex that results from those massages.

[–]anotherswingingdick1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

your SMV is ==partially== based on your looks, fitness, etc.

the rest of your SMV is based on your inbred attitude of dominance.

The latter is something you can change in a New York Minute.

A good strategy for the latter is to play "life is a two way street". The next time she needs money/assistance/etc - demand a quid pro quo

She successfully played a poker round of "who's on top here?" Against you.

Think very carefully to not overdo your respoonse. But no response is a response - just the wrong one.

Somewhere, someplace - she has vulnerabilities. She must be made to understand that if she wants to play at undermining people's foundations.... she might start the fight, but you might finish it.

Actions, not words. You cannot negotiate her submission to you. You must force it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

she will make sex conditional upon a backrub or something like that.

never negotiate with terrorists. Sex is her maintaining the commitment of a high value man. backrubs are you taking that endorphin-high of being taken care of, and being genrous to the people you value.

shut them all down. sex in exchange for:

  • no thanks, I'm good.
  • no thanks, I'm good. (go downstairs and do something else)
  • no thanks, I'm good. (go downstairs and grab keys, leave house for a bit)
  • no thanks, I'm good. (leave phone at home,leave until monday, shower when you get back)

escalate as much as you see fit, make it as playful as you see fit. her pussy is not on a payment plan, your commitment, is

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes after gaming my wife, she will make sex conditional upon a backrub or something like that.

My wife also does this. She usually gets her backrub because I really enjoy doing it and yes, it is foreplay if you do it right.

Sometimes I "negotiate" something extra: [example]: "OK, but I am going to have to rub all your tight muscles and loossen you right up" (Said while aggressively grabbing her butt with my fingers deep inside her cleft).

One thing I like to do is have her lay on her stomach between my legs. I rub her shoulders and the trigger points in the upper back while she rubs my cock until I can't stand it any more. When the backrub is over her mouth is in the perfect position to use.

Alternatively, if you don't want to give the backrub you can simply ask her if it would be OK to leave money on the dresser....

[–]ThorlaWife1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It sounds to me like she's trying, but you can tell by her "slightly begrudging" effort that she's not all that into it, right? And then she flat-out told you: "It's called foreplay". So perhaps when she's asking for a backrub first, she's looking for a way to at least get relaxed, and maybe get some of that time we women need to shift into "sex mode". Maybe the backrub thing is the best she can get as a foreplay alternative, and maybe you touching her like that actually turns her on a little bit.

Women's sexual systems are not wired like men's. Most men have what is called "spontaneous" desire; most women have "responsive desire". We are wired to respond to you. That's why doing what you're doing, getting all manly and leader-y, often yields some decent results. But when it comes to sex, she needs you to actually turn her on, and that starts in the morning, and continues throughout the day.

I think it's what the men here are referring to when they talk about "gaming" their wives--flirting, touches, dominant kisses, randomly slapping their bottom, stuff like that. It's about warming up their systems, drawing them in to a sexual frame of mind.

I mean, I could be wrong about your wife's motives, but it's something you could think about. Maybe get some tips from the men about how they do this, and figure out what actually works for your wife (because we all respond a bit differently), so you can give her something to respond to.

Edited for wording

[–]midlifedick1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds to me like you just don't get it

This doesn't help.

[–]IASGame0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Genuine desire can't be negotiated. It's either there or isn't. If you comply you will be generally decreasing any genuine desire.

These kinds of trade are generally a bad idea, it is not foreplay, it is "trading" for sex so it is sort of like prostitution. What I try to do is to subtly make my wife realize what her condition sounds like from my side, and that I don't want this kind of dynamic in the relationship.

Also, women tend to be very bad at keeping their ends of the bargain, so if you go for such a "trade" at least get your side first. It wouldn't be surprising to have a women get what she wants and then not keep her end of the bargain (Briffault's law - whatever you did for her in the past doesn't count anymore).

You can also try to say I will give you your backrub but because I enjoy it. I'm not exchanging it for sex. If she wants to afterwards she can let you know (non verbally perhaps). But that is a very fine line.

[–]The_Litz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It is not a train smash. Keep up the amused mastery.

In cases like this, and I have had the exact same conditions laid out to me, just tell her that's cool, strip down baby and get out the massage oil. Usually it is pretty good sex, the massage is part of the fun and games.

Don't overthink it, make it part of the fun, and let her give you a massage as well.

[–]MRPguy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Killing it at work and as a parent.

Please elaborate on this. Killing it in your terms OR giving your wife feelings? Because you can be doing some awesome stuff but if you aren't generating feelings then it doesn't really matter.

[–]trp_dude0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do it only if you want to do it, not because she asks.

Foreplay? Foreplay is not the part where you give her the backrub. It's the part where she throws out a shit test and you bat it down. She throws out a shit test and you bat it down. That will turn her on, not compliance.

[–]the-harry-tuttle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I used to deal with the same thing in my LTR. It's a shit test and the best way to handle it is to keep moving and ignore the request. Sex should be led by you so keep up the amused mastery and tell her you have a different opinion of foreplay. Caveman sex or nothing at all.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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