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2 virgins get married

Reddit View
December 22, 2015

I'm almost done reading NMMNG, and have read about 30 hours of material on /r/marriedredpill and my plan is to finish the core prerequisites before the new year.

We both are religious and N=1.

However my wife never ever used porn. Needless to say, she doesnt even know what a BJ is. So yeah, I married a nun basically and we somehow have made kids.

After being married for several years, I have finally taken the red pill and am excited at the results over the last month. Sex has gone from very infrequent to multiple times a week.

However, my wife has been a starfish our entire marriage and I need to figure out what my options are for changing the situation. In chapter 8 of NMMNG, he talks about healthy masturbation. My wife refuses to touch herself, and I have a feeling it is shame and fear based, and that her low sexual energy is related.

I want to tell her to find some time to masturbate in order to free herself from the shame and guilt. Not sure how to go about it.

Please be hard on me, I know this post is Uber beta but I had to start somewhere.

Edit: trying to format this for readability and prevent doxx

Post Information
Title 2 virgins get married
Upvotes 6
Comments 13
Date 22 December 2015 06:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're concentrating on your wife's problems. How she's sexually frigid, how she doesn't masturbate, blah, blah blah.

Where you are failing is leadership. Use your big boy words using the tools of WISNIFG, use the things you've learned in The Sex God Method, and get your needs fulfilled through leadership.

Start off slow, maybe a dirty word here or there. Up the Domiance, and the Emotion. Observe and adapt as necessary for the next time. The key is maintain outcome independence, understand that sex is fun, and not all of it is going to be mind blowing. She's got a major anti-slut defense, so don't try to talk this thing to death. Up the emotion during sex and watch how she responds. Remember any emotion is good emotion.

Then when she responds positively during sex, even if it's a tiny little thing, praise her positively. "Oh babe that was soooo hot. I love it when you talk to me during sex". The key is she needs to learn what you want her to respond too.

Getting her to masturbate aint gonna change shit.

[–]bugzapper12 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is great advice.

I would add that I will often tease my wife playfully during sex if I want her to loosen up. It can help if you sense that she is tense and needs to relax. Best done when you can sense that her arousal is peaking.

The other thing is that you can get away with murder if you know how to turn your wife on sexually. And I mean REALLY turn her on. Do the things that only you know she likes to the point where she's squirming and red faced - you know the deal - and then try something new. You'd be surprised at what you'll do when you're sex drunk.

Last thing I'll say is that your case - and your goal of getting your wife to open up a little bit - is a slow play. It's a marathon, not a sprint. You have to ultimately make her want to do these things by making her think it was her idea to begin with. And please, for the love of all things holy, stop TALKING about what you want to do to her in the sack and start DOING it. Talking isn't sexy unless your wife's eyes are rolling up in her head and you're telling her that you're going to fill her like a cannoli.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks this is pretty much what I needed.

[–]rurpe4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Needless to say, she doesnt even know what a BJ is

Your little princess knows about blowjobs. Please join the rest of us back on planet earth.

[–]MRPguy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

100% correct. This guy's story mirrors mine very closely in terms of background.

[–]turbosympathique2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think that leadership on your part is the key to help your wife find her inner slut.

I'm not a religious person. But I think that the "no sin" aspect of sex between a husband and a wife make thing a lot easier. She is not allowed to be promiscuous, and sexual in her day to day life with anybody, with only one exception.... YOU.

You have to give her permission to be a slut with you. You have to demand it. If she is submissive, you can guide her during "play time" to push trough her boundary. Do this test with her at Maybe she will surprise you.

[–]plein_old1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You could take ballroom dancing lessons together - something that is socially acceptable that lets her enjoy moving her body and be seen doing it. Or maybe there is some other style of dancing she might like - bellydancing, haha. Or even yoga, which comes from a religious tradition originally.

How is she with food? People who don't enjoy sex often don't enjoy eating good food. There is a pleasure taboo that some people pick up along the way, like in their earlier years, that says pleasure is bad or dangerous. Ask her to prepare a special gourmet meal or dessert for both of you once a week, maybe with candles and a nice drink to go with it. In order to do that, she'd have to let go of some of her pleasure hangups, but she might take pride in making something tasty for you.

In other words, there might be other ways to draw out her inner pleasure monster, to help her see that mutual enjoyment can be a good & healthy thing.

"For the LORD takes pleasure in His people" —Psalm 149:4 (just found that online, haha)

[–]dota2nub1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Masturbation isn't universally good, you've seen nofap and it's testament to that. I'm not saying it's evil, but I don't think forcing someone who doesn't want to do it into it will help matters.

Try a gentle approach. Have you checked out Not all women want to be plowed by jackhammers, even though some dudebros might tell you that.

Try pushing for sex a bit less (you seem to have gotten the frequency up already anyway) and pushing for more intimacy instead. More touch without pressure or expectation of more. She's closed off, you can't break her out of it. It's like a cramp. There needs to be space to relax into and feel safe for it to go away.

[–]alpha_n3rd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hitachi Magic Wand. Use it on her. She'll want to do herself next time.

[–]IASGame0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I also married a virgin as a virgin and deal with some of these issues.

Unfortunately I don't have much advice to give you and if you are getting sex reliably 3 times a week you're in a better position than me already.

My wife has no interest in masturbating and considers even relatively basic PIV positions, like doggy style, "dirty". She also hasn't let me finger her (posted about it previously).

I personally don't have a problem with her not masturbating and I suggest you don't value that. Might be fun to watch her get off by herself but I rather watch her get off by me masturbating her (she gets orgasms often when we do PIV at least). Feeling her inside with my finger is a short term goal for me that I haven't succeeded so far.

If she is really turned on I can often get her to comply to stuff I want (so I got doggy style a few times), but my lack of experience also hinders me in getting her in that state in the first place, and it is hard to get practice when faithfully monogamous.

[–]AnarchoSurfer0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I would go to your pastor with her and get him to tell you guys that doggystyle is okay.

[–]IASGame0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We're no longer religious and even when we were, neither of us gave the pastors that much credence.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would not start by telling my virginal princes to start rubbing them out. I would start by showing my virginal princess how good it feels to lick and rub one out. Jump in the shower ala Athol Kay and wash her down good. Then take her to bed and follow the advice of the late great Sam Kinosen:


Also, her recalcitrance about sex is totally normal. You are the leader and YOU have to make her comfortable with being a filthy slut. Start slow. Start by talking dirty more often and ramp it up over months. Start by taking her hard and fast. Throw her around in bed. Manhandle her into the position you want and don't worry about her orgasm. Tell her she is awesome and incredible.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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