My gf told me that last night as we were laying in bed and I almost did a spit take. It was a pretty profound moment so I thought I would share it here. It's profound because what she said couldn't have been further from the truth. I was a cocky asshole to her basically the whole night, but that's not what she felt. I'll explain at the end. Hopefully this isn't a shit quality post. Feel free to roast me if it is.
I decided I wanted to eat out last night. I've been getting sick of chicken and broccoli at home so when my gf called me on her way home I said I was taking her out. No big deal. As soon as she walks in she tries talking to me about her day and her job and general venting about nothing. I stop her mid sentence to tell her I only care about getting her pants off and her ass on my lap. She gives me a look, then proceeds to drop her pants and sit on me. We make out for a second and she gets up to get dressed for dinner.
After she's dressed she tries to finish telling me about her day. I bent her over the couch and dry humped her into the pillow while grabbing her hair, then when she's finished I say "I wasn't listenning" then hump her a few more times and pull her up. She gives me a bitchy look and we leave.
At dinner I ignored her request to get a certain appetizer, then I refused to evenly split the appetizer I got with her, telling her life's not fair whIle I laughed and ate more than she did. I told her our waitress was hot, teased her about all kinds of things and at one point pulled out my phone while she was mid sentence and texted someone (I usually don't and only responded because I rarely get texts at night and it was important). She tells me she doesn't like that I cut her off mid sentence and I tell her she doesn't have to like it. I ate some of her food even though she told me no, then I refused to get her dessert and laughed when she tried to act mad. After we get home I refused to help her carry her work shit inside. I honestly don't know what was going on with me but I was in rare asshole form last night.
So we get home and sit down and she tells me she had a good time, and I looked her in the eyes and told her I did too, and that I like hanging out with her. Her eyes got big and she went into the bedroom and came out naked. We didn't fuck because I was so full of ribs but she spent the rest of the night doing slutty stuff and hanging all over me. Eventually we go to bed and she looks at me and says "you treated me really nice tonight, I had a really good time". I almost lost it right then because she was completely serious.
So what happened that could allow me to be such an asshole, yet still have her tell me that she liked how "nice" I treated her? The asshole stuff I did wasn't what she was picking up on. She was picking up on the fact that I was behaving like a high value man. (This was further backed up by a party I took her too last weekend where I was the popular "life of the party" guy, and that social proof is still carrying over.)
The "nice" part is due to the fact that me, as a high value man (at least for now, in her eyes) chose to spend my time with her, and at the end reaffirmed that I enjoy being with her. All my asshole behaviors paled in comparison to how she felt being able to spend time, and be wanted by a high value man. The lesson here is that women will let you get away with anything if they view you as high value. If I had bombed at that party last weekend and been awkward or whatever, my gf would have shut me down the second I told her to take her pants off, and it would have been shit test after shit test. Always remember, a woman would rather be treated okay by an awesome guy than be treated awesome by an okay guy.
note: I cringed writing that part about being the life of the party, I'm not some cocky party asshole obsessed with social dynamics and dominating rooms, but these are things you need to be aware of. Within 15 seconds, your woman will know who the "life of the party" guy is. That's the guy you want to be, even if it makes you feel stupid typing it out 4 days later. I mostly got lucky this time as the party was all old friends of mine who I get along great with.