A few weeks back, I noticed a bit of complacency and that I was starting to get A BIT too comfortable with my progress in this process, reported this in the weekly on MRP. Had to dial some stuff back and remember to STFU, I was talking too much, engaging when I knew I shouldn't be and causing myself to get shit tested. As a result, and because of shark week coming around, I was creating problems where there weren't any. So I beat myself over the head a bit.

Came across an instance over the weekend where I was able to casually flirt with a very beautiful girl at a party, and right in front of my wife. The girl was there with a friend of ours, but was eyeing me quite a bit and being friendly as hell to me, yet acted as the quiet/reserved sober girl to everyone else. While I haven't upped dread to this level yet, the situation presented itself and I decided to run with it. She didn't freak like I expected, she didn't cause a bunch of drama. Instead, she spent the rest of the night flirting with me, making sure she got some attention in front of this girl.

As I mentioned it's now shark week. In the past, I've had a very open expectation that "when she's on the rag, I'm supposed to get head." In past months, I would openly remind her of this fact, creating clear pressure daily for her to do this thing for me, whether she wanted to or not. And for some unknown, unexplained reason, my begging for head never seemed to get me anywhere, and when it did it was crap, imagine that. This month, I didn't say a thing. Last night, laying in bed watching tv, I roll over to go to sleep, exhausted from the gym, and she grabs me by the neck, climbs on top and proceeds to kiss her way down and blow me.

Didn't have to beg, didn't constantly remind her that "I haven't gotten head in a month." Instead of whining, I just did me, and without asking for a damn thing she took it upon herself to please me. Side note, sex has been off the wall for the past month, so I haven't pursued just "getting head," just been fucking her how I want to.

This brought me to a bit of a question. Because of the way I've acted in the past, I've dialed back "expressing my needs" when it comes to getting head on shark week because it's always been me whining and needy, resulting in getting nothing. Instead, I went for a "IDGAF" approach when I do indeed actually give a fuck, since her being on the rag is the only time I generally get any head to the finish. Since it just so happened to work, is this a strat that I should hang on to, or should I just find a way of telling her what I want, without sounding like I'll be butthurt if I don't get it. Only reason for asking is that I have had a BAD tendency for coming off butthurt when I don't get it, so I'm sure there's an expectation from her that I'll act this way again when she shuts me down.

Of course, I rewarded her for doing this out of no where, so here's hoping it works out that way again soon.