edit:: Thanks for the advice, gentlemen. Couple things to glean from the thread 1)find those covert contracts, 2)communication is still important, 3)dont punish a wife for being a woman
Wife says that my IDGAF attitude is destroying our marriage and that i dont listen to her, care what she has to say, or communicate.
I initiate sex, she says no, i say, "no big deal. i need to rest for work tomorrow anyway" then she says she feels like crap because sex is "no big deal" to me.
Second, she is upset because previously i used to tell her what time i would be home by texting and i would text her asking how she is throughout the day and i completely stopped cold turkey. I told her "ill be home around ten after work. Just expect that" but i dont tell her that "ill be on time" or "ill be late."
(caveat: when she was a crazy woman she would shout things like, "i hope you get killed on your way to work" so it really doesnt bother me if she thinks i got hit by a car or not. I ride my bicycle to work).
Thirdly, she says i dont listen to her anymore. We were walking to the car after going to the gym and she was talking about her new business venture and i was listening but acting fairly uninterested and she said, "when you listen to me it makes me feel cared for." And i replied, "when you suck my dick it makes me feel cared for." She literally started crying...in the parking lot...at the gym. She has only given me a blow job once in our entire marriage (5 years) because "it hurts my mouth" and "It makes me feel degraded." I was not expecting that response.
So - couple questions i have for my mentors:
- Communication to let her know i wasnt hit by a car? Not too sure if she just wanted to keep track of me or actually cares for safety. I doubt it is the latter.
- Listening to her when she talks when she doesnt put out? I do care about her excitement in life, i want to share in her accomplishments.
- Continue to express my expectations about sex? She knows what i expect but continues to say, "If i dont feel that you care for me, my body doesnt get turned on and it will just hurt me!"
Not victim puking, just questions. In this whole conversation this morning about how my attitude is destroying our marriage not once did she say how her actions or attitudes contribute leading me to believe that she honestly does not the the ability of empathy and cannot look past her feelings.