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Wife is Now Awesome... What Happens Next?

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September 30, 2015

I'll keep this as brief as possible. I'm 39, she's 34. Together 12 years, married 5, some kids. Used to have a deadbedroom but now we get it on regularly.

Her: She's always been attractive but over the past while she's really maxed-out her body. I encouraged her to go to the gym with me a couple of years ago. At first she hated it but she got addicted surprisingly quickly. She's tight and toned, with visible abs and a great ass. Everyone in the gym is in awe of her, as she's a smoking hot working mother who smashes every session. On top of that, she's an awesome cook, great mother, hard worker, cool to hang out with and lots more. In the past six months, she's received a comment almost every day about how good she looks, how fit she is, how impressive she is in the gym (from other gym-goers) or how great she is at doing stuff - cooking, work, whatever. So, her SMV is pretty high. She's at least a genuine, objective 8 and everyone else in the world reminds her of it all the time. In tandem with her becoming really hot, she started opening up a bit more in the bedroom. She always had (pretty much unfounded) body image issues but now she 'feels like she looks sexy'. She's been giving me lapdances and strip-shows at my request and it's awesome. She moves sexier, is louder during sex and eye-fucks me etc. We do it between 3 and 7 times a week.

So why am I posting here?

Me: I'm tall, good job and moderately successful in competitive sports. I've always been in good shape... until about one year ago. Got a new job with a long-ass commute and long hours. As a result, I didn't make time to get to the gym anywhere near as much as I used to (big mistake). I'd say I'm a 6. I also drink too much - not binge drinking... 'consistent drinking' (a few beers/some wine 4+ nights a week). I got past some early-years uber-betaness myself, which turned around the deadbedroom situation. I've always been good at not taking her shit, and she has told me that she respects me because of it. I've a long way to go but I kinda thought everything was pretty rosy, considering the sex on tap with a hot wife.

Last Week: The gym threw a party and she went. I didn't (had something else on). Chad McRipped-but-actually-a-cool-guy did. He's like the best at gymming in the gym, while she's the top girl. The next day, she was filling me in. She was talking to lots of people and mentioned him a lot. No biggie and it was all part of the various stories. After a break in talking of about 15 mins, she says: "At one point I was talking to someone and Chad walked over, put his hand on my back and said 'Oh, Mandy'". And that was the entire story - there was no point to it and it wasn't remotely interesting. But something was off. The way she said it. I got the sense that she liked it. More: the fact that she said it made me think she simply wanted to mention him. She was thinking about him. She got tingles in that moment and liked replaying it in her head, so she wanted to replay it verbally. (Or was it a shit test?) There's been a couple of other moments like this, with other Chads. It's small, body language stuff that I could definitely be accused of over-analysing but my gut says something's up.

Questions: I thought I was kicking ass, despite allowing my SMV to drop, because my wife got her shit together in pretty much every area. She's a High Value Woman.

I was wrong, wasn't I? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, what can I expect?

Following the above, if she's already planning to swing to another branch, how long do I realistically have here? I've already sorted out some work stuff so I can get to the gym and lift again. I'd say I'm 3-6 months away from matching her SMV.

Post Information
Title Wife is Now Awesome... What Happens Next?
Author Sufferinsuccatash
Upvotes 10
Comments 24
Date 30 September 2015 04:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/208068
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3mzh8h/wife_is_now_awesome_what_happens_next/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
tinglesbranch swingingChadsexual market valueshit testlift

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (9 children) | Copy

Sounds pretty straightforward.

Used to be alpha, now beta, someone is giving her tingles.

You already know what you have to do, it's just a matter of doing it. As for the rest, the MRP sidebar has more than enough to help you keep from sabotaging yourself. If she's going to cheat, nothing you do is going to stop that, you just have to keep your ego in check, because it will trying to convince you to ignore your instincts

But until you start to get your shit together, workout, and do some reading, a few tips in the meantime:

  1. STFU. she doesn't give a shit about your feelings, and you might as well throw a big target on her vagina if you do.

  2. Nothing is about her. you're a silverback, shes a post wall woman. You have all the cards here. If you get your SMV in order, there are 23 year olds waiting for guys like you. She isn't going to be so lucky anymore. Keep that in mind if shit continues to go downhill.

  3. Get to work bub, lay off the sauce and get back to the gym. Beat that weak ass scared little boy whose afraid of losing his girl with the iron. You can take a read through, and see men here in various states of fucked pulling their lives together and winning... you've really got no excuse

[–]Sufferinsuccatash[S] 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Thanks for this. I've been STFUing, thankfully. Yep - I've no excuse.

[–]Griever1140 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

From a diet standpoint, cut the shit regarding booze. Wine is one thing, drop the beer and the pounds will drop. Lift heavy and get your SMV up.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

It's been discussed a lot in the main.

If anything, switch to hard liquors. Scotch etc. You sip instead of chug, no sugar in straight booze, and it costs more, so you will buy less.

Having said that, it saps motivation, and you don't wnat to be drunk while trying to squat heavy, so it's better without

[–]awyden1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

What's about mixing with say diet drinks? I buy the stevia, natural shit to cut down on all the chemicals.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't drink pop personally. I've found that the diet drink makes itmore likely I'll still crave sugar eventually for the taste.

Besides, if you're drinking a good bourbon, vodka, or gin... why destroy that with pepsi max or some other bullshit?

[–]awyden1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My balls haven't dropped enough for that. haha Thanks man.

[–]Sufferinsuccatash[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's mainly wine, tbh. Still empty calories. I'll sometimes have spirits with sparkling water, a squeeze of citrus and maybe even some chilli for a bit of pizzaz. It's nice to reduce the calorie intake, but boozing is boozing and I know it's the primary reason for my dad-bod.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yup. But the best diet is one you can stick to, so I mention it

[–]Griever1140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know you are giving some options. I meant it merely from a "quick solution" perspective. Its empty calories.

EDIT: I may add that i am slightly biased. I know people enjoy booze but i never enjoyed any form of alcohol. I just never developed the taste so I cant speak from experience.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hypergamy is a real thing, bro.

I thought I was kicking ass, despite allowing my SMV to drop, because my wife got her shit together in pretty much every area.

You were basing your entire metric of success on what your wife was doing and thought that meant YOU were kicking ass? Nope.

Having a high value woman is great! So long as you are a high value man. You know what to do.

[–]Sufferinsuccatash[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was basing my success on this: I want to be awesome at a good job > I'm awesome at my job I want to regularly bang a sexy wife > wife is sexy and we bang often I want to relax in the evenings in a way that doesn't affect the above > I quaff wine, chill and chat/watch Netflix

Like, I've got everything I wanted. That's the trap I fell into. She probably doesn't have what she wants, as I'm not hot enough. I know this sounds like I'm in her frame - probably am - but I do want to stay married to my wife. And, to be honest, deep down I've always really wanted to be sexy. I've been sexy, at least fairly sexy, and I can tell the difference. There's a tipping point where you suddenly get comments and kino from random women.

I guess I was like that fat guy in the Fat Boy Slim video with the t-shirt that said: I'm #1 so why try harder?

[–]RedCML3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Chad McRipped-but-actually-a-cool-guy did not casually touch her back with no purpose. That was kino. And your wife has been giving him IOIs so expect him to do it again.

Next time she comes home from the gym ask her, "How was the gym? You still flirting with Chad? Make any progress with that?" And smile the whole time because your frame is you know what's going on in her head and you don't give a shit or blame her that she's AWALT. Be upset with her for smoking some pole. Don't be upset because she got tingles and wants to feel that way again. You can give her those tingles too. She obviously wants you to, otherwise she wouldn't have told you.

Lifting is an important part of RP. I personally think it is the most important because it is the foundation of success inside and outside the gym. But there are plenty of ripped dudes who are beta bitches. So practice your whole game.

[–]SepeanRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

One of the dumbest things you can do is to prioritize your career over everything else. If your job requires mental effort and long hours to the point that you're skipping the gym, not eating right, not being able to see friends, feeling drained and tired, then you're well on your way to beta bucks status. There are many high status, high earning men who get dead bedroomed by their wives who prefer to bounce on their tennis coach's cock.

From the sound of it, you do well socially with your wife, you're a good provider, you're tall and used to be fit. That's good alpha and good beta values. But some of your alpha traits are in decline. Her dual sexual strategy is kicking in, you're coming from a high SMV level so to satisfy her hypergamy she needs to up her game. She's aiming to keep her still-somewhat-alpha man as a beta bucks and get to play with the really alpha boys too. That takes a shitload of girl SMV to pull off, and she's doing it.

Get your head back in the game. Stop drinking. Lift. Fix your diet (that means counting calories).

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most people crave validation. Women with body image issues want validation even more. She got it from the dude at the gym. That doesn't necessarily mean she's going to cheat. Sharing the story with you may mean that she's not getting validation from others that she made a good choice of mate. It sounds like you're doing fine in your interactions with her. Now you need to work on your body and your interactions with other people. That may mean weights at home, back to sports, whatever.

[–]itstartstoday1231 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do what know you have to do it to be an awesome masculine male.

If your SMV is lacking then improve it for your satisfaction. You are falling into responding to what is happening to her and trying to outdo someone else to keep her affection or stage off a potential Chad. That's beta.

Your slipping into her frame. You started the post correctly by taking ownership of your failures and recognizing areas of improvement. Take that mentality, throw out the rest of the BS and get to work. Start reading and become better.

It sounds like your lapse in working on yourself is what is bringing this on and if you don't move to fix the gap in SMV you only have yourself to blame. It sounds like you have made some Great improvements and your wife is responding but self improvement has no expiration date. Although her recognising another attractive male is inevitable. If she's is seeing him as attractive compared to her fat lazy husband at home then that is the problem. The reaction you want is "Wow that guy is attractive, reminds me of the hard work my husband puts in to take care of himself"

[–]Sufferinsuccatash[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Got it and I'm on it.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

What she does or does not do is of no consequence to you. Get off your ass, get back in shape, own all your shit, and be awesome. Is she the only 8 on earth? Or you just think she's the only one you can get? Go find some 24 year old 8's to remind you what's out there.

[–]Sufferinsuccatash[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She's not the only 8 but she's my wife and the ideal scenario here is that we stay together, with me being awesome and happy.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

me being awesome

Your only hope to keep any woman. You are seeing her hypergamy in action. She is likely in the phase of thinking she is giving you hints that she can do better and you need to be better. Take the hint.

[–]Redneck001Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She hit you with some dread.

Get to work. Become Chad.

Do you know how? I wrote a post recently on how to get shredded.


Get busy!

[–]Sufferinsuccatash[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She dreaded me good. I'm still reeling from it. Partly at the dread but also because I'm aware of what it is and how it affected me, so I got first-hand experience of how it affects people and it's a powerful motivator. A part of me is thinking: 'well played'.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

You suck. You let yourself go and you're only going to step up and do what you should've because you're scared of losing her?

If she leaves you've likely earned that outcome for yourself.

[–]Sufferinsuccatash[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I found MRP a few months ago and started on the road to self-improvement by reading sidebar material and getting back to the gym for my own reasons. That was before this happened.

"If she leaves you've likely earned that outcome for yourself."

Totally agree.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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