So two weeks ago I was away on business and got a call from my wife saying that she was starting a mental health program. Apparently she's been having vaguely disturbing thoughts for a couple of months and sought treatment when I was out of town. She had thought that maybe she'd be less stressed when I was gone, but it hadn't worked out that way. Apparently the doctor she spoke to wanted her in a program ASAP and would have put her in the hospital if she hadn't agreed to do a program. So now she's taken a leave of absence from her job and is doing this program.

The good of the situation is that she's finally facing her problems instead of just turning the TV up louder. She realizing that a lot of her behavior and problems stem from childhood experiences and don't really have much to do with the reality of her situation today.

The bad is that there isn't much trust going on here between me or my wife. She's been having issues for a couple of months and doesn't say anything to me. She goes to the doctor in secret and then decides to take a leave of absence without at least running it by me. This isn't the first situation where she's done her own thing with less than ideal consequences and frankly at this point, I don't trust that I'm even getting the full story. It would be one thing if she was making good decisions and taking care of her responsibilities, but what you get is a rather predictable meltdown. Incapable of following, but also incapable of leading or managing her own responsibilities.

I've been doing my best the last week to be supportive, but my wife has been shit testing pretty hard all week. On one hand she's realizing that she's messing up, but that doesn't seem to lead to her giving up on trying to be control.

With that I'm really just considering leaving. I've been RP for a year now, lifting and improving my life. I've become really OI and frankly at this point the wife doesn't add much. I'm convinced by now that it's not so much that I'm incapable of leading or being trusted to lead, it's just that my wife is incapable of following. She's had these issues with her father, with school, and at jobs. The real issue is that my wife and I aren't working together as a team - giving her consideration just leads to my needs being run over and every man for himself just leads to a constant battle of wills. Thanks to RP I can win that battle, but I'm not really sure I care to keep fighting it.

My current plan of action is to go alone to see a counselor that we had both talked to a couple years ago and bounce my ideas off him. He seemed pretty level headed and might be able to help me wrap my head around the situation. I also want a neutral reality check on the situation.

Does my analysis make sense? Is there anything to be done to bring a stubborn wife around? We are already at dread level 10 over my wife's weight and it doesn't seem to be possible to get change without applying immense amounts of pressure (which doesn't seem to lead to mental health).

This isn't a "two week alpha" post, I've been actively working on this for quite some time in reasoned measures and it's just not going well.