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Opinion on NMMG "sexual moratorium"

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September 1, 2015


Post Information
Title Opinion on NMMG "sexual moratorium"
Upvotes 8
Comments 21
Date 01 September 2015 03:13 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

[–]ArchwingerRed Beret7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

I usually opt for something akin to the MMSL approach.

Initiate sex all the time. Often. But when your wife shoots you down, act like it's no big deal and go do whatever else it was you were planning on doing anyway. Be completely unfazed by the rejection.

If things go on for a time that's more than reasonable, I move on to the Red Pill approach and withdraw affection and start going out to do more shit. Your wife might call you on that, noting that every interaction you have with her is a bid for sex, but in doing so, she can't help but notice the corollary: that every interaction she has with you is a rejection. And that you don't seem to care. Enter the hamster.

[–]itstartstoday123-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Your wife might call you on that, noting that every interaction you have with her is a bid for sex, but in doing so, she can't help but notice the corollary: that every interaction she has with you is a rejection. And that you don't seem to care. Enter the hamster.

I had an interaction with my wife last night I was hoping to break down. Somehow I knew the rejection for sex was coming but initiated cause I wanted it.

I started initiating sex.

Her: do you only want to hang for sex tonight?

Me:i want sex Now... Well see about after, after

I got the hard no and walked away after showing it didn't bother me. She followed me to the bedroom.

Her:why do you leave when I say no?

Me: if were not gonna have sex then I should probably do something else, since my first choice is off the table.

Her: you always are initiating sex.

Me: and your always rejecting sex, I forgot I need to go grab some stuff at the store, need anything?

Her: no, why don't we just hang out.

Me: I just tried, (smile) see you later then.

Break this down for me. I am obviously conditioning my time and affections based on her availability. Did I do this right?

[–]ArchwingerRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Too passive aggressive.

When your wife asks some variant of "do you only want sex" or "are you just being nice for sex", pull her close, kiss her hard, grab her ass, and ask her what's wrong with wanting to throw her on the bed and tear her clothes off? Would she rather be with a guy who doesn't want her?

When she asks why you're leaving, explain that you have some things you need to get done. Don't tie that to the rejection for sex (e.g., don't say, "Well, since you won't fuck me, I'm going to...") She might accuse you that this is about the rejection, but you can easily deflect that. You had to go to the store anyway. You just wanted to have sex first. If you're not having sex, you still have to go to the store. And now you make better time! (Try to escalate for sex when you get back.)

When she asks why you don't just hangout, your answer is that you have shit that you need to do. Not some passive-aggressive line about her rejection.

[–]itstartstoday123-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Too passive aggressive.

I would be lying if I said I did not identify that as a personal problem. Makes perfect sense.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Works better if you don't tell her how the magic works. Keep the plausible deniability. She already gets it and there is no need to talk about it any more.

Sex = I get his time and attention.

No sex = I get jack.

Sex is not so bad. Not really. Hmmm, maybe....

[–]itstartstoday123-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sex is not so bad. Not really. Hmmm, maybe....

No, sex is always Good. Never a time it was not. And I mean never. Except the times were not having it then it really sucks. I'm not one to toot my own horn but this is something I am confident of.

Edit: except the recent time I rejected the whining naggy everything is so inconvenient sex. Own my shit

[–]tenjed-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

If things go on for a time that's more than reasonable, I move on to the Red Pill approach and withdraw affection and start going out to do more shit.

As someone who engaged in covert contacts before learning RP, I have difficulty seeing how this strategy is different from a covert contact. Where is the line?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I much prefer the advice in here from a post a little while back.

act like the man you want to be, then work your ass off to become that man.

If you want sex, theres no reason not to initiate in my opinion. going for what you want is a big part of being a man in my opinion, just have OI and abundance. you aren't mad if she doesn't get it, and you should be able to get it elsewhere if you aren't

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That was one of the first posts I read on MRP. And if not mistaken was written by some dude in the navy...

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Far as I can tell theres only the two of us. Me and trainingthebrain I think. I'll have to check

[–]The_LitzRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it was either one of the 2 of you. Solid post, made me stay here.

[–]dandar46001 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

In NMMG, Glover suggests going on a "sexual moratorium" for 3-6 months

Sort of like a monk mode recommended on TRP to prove to yourself that sex is not something that you need to validate yourself. I never bothered with it. I'd suggest with following MMSLP instead. Initiate and if denied do something else. Avoid getting butthurt and pressuring her for sex, show outcome independence.

[–]Redneck001Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I don't get the monk mode thing or the sex moratoriums. Just seems like a way to avoid rejection and protect your ego. Fuck that. I'm not withdrawing from my life or going to stop trying to get laid.

I'm a big boy. I can take someone telling me "No."

[–]itstartstoday1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It seemed like the idea behind the moratorium in the book was to keep yourself from finding validation through the success or rejection of sex. I honestly do feel like his book was a little skewed because his wife was sympathetic and seemed to have a generally OK marriage at that point.

I would say if sex is good and frequent then telling your wife about this may be OK. But if your wife is rejecting all the time and doesn't fucking care like mine at thus point then just keep going and move in to dread level three. Condition your time and availability to her based on her availability to meet your sexual needs.

I think the general idea is to get her to realize that "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar"

Edit: actually proofread it.

[–]mrpCamper-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are a few things in NMMNG that I just didn't implement. This was certainly one of them. I definitely deferred to advise on MMSLP when talking about direct sexual interaction with the wife.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have never agreed with monk mode or moratoriums on sex. As a man you should seek out the MMSL approach. Men should want sex, and when they don't, the woman in the relationship suddenly has currency that is of no more value. Think about that for a minute. All the money she has no longer has any value.

Going further, if you are initiating and your wife is turning you down just play it off with A&A or AM and then check to see if they were really an LMR instead of hard no's.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Is there a difference between Glover's sexual moratorium and classical "Monk Mode?" This may work for some but I don't think most. I am pretty sure the goal is to break the power of pussy over you and I was never strong enough to make the attempt.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

clearly though it wasn't required, so why waste the time?

[–]The_LitzRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

To me the purpose of the moratorium is to take the pressure off you so you can gather your wits and build up towards getting back to a normal cycle.

It depends what your current sex life is like. If the frequency is reasonable I don't see the need for this, but if the frequency is way down you wouldn't miss much would you?

On telling her about it.....nah, I don't see any good coming from it. If your wife is not into sex with you then this will just give her a free pass not to shag you.

[–]Raiden2-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends how unfuckable you are.

If you're a man who has been betaized but are in decent enough shape from a physical and frame perspective to pull it off and you're learning every day the moratorium doesn't make sense. You really need to be doing the reading for this to have a chance unless you can remember how you acted in your more alpha days.

If you're disgustingly fat, a career beta pushover coming from deadbedrooms or just so terrified of your shrill wife that you feel guilty even reading this you'll most definitely get shot down and frankly the hit to the ego might be enough to scare you into thinking we aren't worth the effort.

[–]SpyderMaybe-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tried it. Tried it to take her currency off the table. Your money's no good here. It was a stupid idea. It wasn't about her pussy power and me wanting to rethink that (what I thought). It was about her complete and utter lack of desire and me wanting to distance myself from that. Didn't solve shit. Oh I did get her attention once "I just read this article on a sexless marriage and that's not a good thing." Whatevs. Lift, game, dread, lead. If it doesn't work now, I'll be in better shape when I move on.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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