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An example of IO

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August 13, 2015
7 upvotes

Edit: OI and not IO.......

A few years ago we went away on a trip with some friends. So it is me, my friend X and his dad, sitting on the porch of our rented accomodation. Having a beer. The ladies want to go to the shops to buy trinkets or whatever they sell to the tourists.

X's wife walks up. 'Can you look after the kids while we go to the shops'

X: Sure. Which ones?

W: ?? All?? (They have three)

X: I will watch x and y.

W: I cant take z with me to the shops.

X: Ok, I will watch y and z.

This goes on for a minute or so. X is calm and assertive and just says he will take two kids. He does not DEER, he does not get angry, he just sits there, fully in his frame.

At this stage me and his dad are like passengers in a car where the driver has gone out of his mind. I am gripping my chair thinking 'Dude! You are going to make her angry!'

At one point I almost blurted out that it is ok, I will help look after the kids. His dad turns to me with a very nervous chuckle and reckons X can be stubborn at times.

Now today, while I am unplugging I am starting to recall many such events that left an impression on my mind. I did not understand it at the time but now I am seeing how IO my friend was. He held frame, he was not seeking acceptance. He did not DEER for one moment.

The outcome of that little conversation? She took 2 kids and left him with one. She made a huge huff and puff as she left but by that evening she was sitting on his lap, stroking his hair next to the campfire. Purring like a kitten.


Post Information
Title An example of IO
Author The_Litz
Upvotes 7
Comments 8
Date 13 August 2015 10:12 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/208187
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3gu0th/an_example_of_io/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
DEERframeassertive
Comments

[–]strategos_autokratorRed Beret2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Is IO Outcome Independence?

Why not share this FR about important concepts in the main sub to generate discussion? I thought askMRP was for asking advice.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yip, I meant OI. Too many abbreviations swimming around in my head.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Had the same thought.

Not killing anything at the moment while we see how this pans out, but lets try to keep MRP for questions or ...for lack of a better word: noob pukes. Especially if posted already in MRP as examples/FRs.

[–]strategos_autokratorRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think askMRP just validated what i was saying: these guys just want validation, and they are scared in MRP, so they think they will get cuddly validation here, and that somehow that way they will become men.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I guess we'll see... still just one post. Let's give the baby a a push in the right direction before we drop it, Spartan-Style, off a cliff.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What about this post is validation seeking??

[–]strategos_autokratorRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The post in itself isnt. The fact you posted here before MRP suggests you were nervous about that others think in MRP even when you had good stuff.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't necessarily say this is OI. This is just holding frame.

OI is more about you going for something with no expectations. Mainly used when initiating sex.

Outcome dependence means that if you are denied the thing, it affects your mood. You are butt hurt and pissy because you didn't get what you wanted.

Outcome independence means you go in, get rejected and leave the scene just as happy and full of life as you were before you came in. Her denying you sex does not move your frame. In essence, de-weaponizing sex. She can no longer use sex as a tool to control you, because you dgaf.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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