My LTR told me I am like a “child”

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February 3, 2019

Hi brothers!

I really thank you for this sub.

Now, recently my LTR told me I am like a “child”. Because I don’t serve other people and she doesn’t feel safe with me anymore.

This is not a success story rather than a decoding story for all newbs into LTR like myself.

So after talking to my LTR yesterday these are the keypoints she wanted me to improve:

  1. Serve more. When we are on a trip and in general she wants me to cook for others, pick others trash, etc. She gave me the example of her girlfriend’s boyfriend that is on touch with his feminine side but she doesn’t consider him gay.

My thoughts: I think this is a shit test to see if I act beta and people-pleasing in front of others.

  1. Be more proactive. Extension of the previous one but she tells me that she wants to see me more in action.

My thoughts: I think she’s right, I have been neglecting some of my duties and not leading interactions or scenarios. Lack of leadership.

  1. Stop being distracted. As in stop forgetting things and be aware.

My thoughts: This is a lifelong battle for me since I focus too much in things that interest me and neglect others. Lack of leadership as well.

  1. Be more assertive. She explicitly told me to stop giving justifications for everything.

My thoughts: I started reading “When I say no, I feel guilty”. Lack of alpha trait.

  1. Cleaning the house. My house, I live alone.

My thoughts: Point taken since I should clean even if it is her or not in order to keep the environment free of things that can make you sick. Lack of leadership.

After this, I told her that she is a pain in the ass as well, to watch her behavior and accept that she is difficult. She wanted to fuck afterwards but I told her I was not in the mood. Today I fucked her good in the morning.

I am a drunk captain in need for help. Am I reading this correctly?

TL;DR: I don’t think I can give you one.

Post Information
Title My LTR told me I am like a “child”
Author johncillo
Upvotes 7
Comments 24
Date 03 February 2019 10:24 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
leadershipalphabetalong term relationshipshit testassertive

[–]creating_my_life42 points43 points  (5 children) | Copy

My thoughts: you have so little awareness of shit you need to own and who you are as a man that you don't even know you need to own shit.

She's absolutely right: you're a pathetic beta fucktard shell of a man.

Read every fucking book on the sidebar, and the some; including Extreme Ownership, The Way of the Superior Man, and things like that.

You're not a drunk captain. You're not even close. Drunk captain would be a huge promotion. You're a NPC deckhand at best.

Write down some goals. Do something for yourself. Take care of yourself. Chase your goals like they're the only thing that matters in the universe (guess what, that's true). BE A FUCKING MAN.

Specifically in regards to her comments.:

  • fuck serving other people. I take care of my own shit. I treat my friends like they're the most important things to me. But I'm no servant.

  • Women are defined by who they are. Men are defined by what they do. Doesn't sound like you've taken any action in your life....ever.

  • Frame. You have none. "No" is a complete sentence. "No" comes from a place of "I have more important shit to do". The problem is, you don't have more important shit to do.

  • Your home, your things, and your life should be in order.

OWN YOUR SHIT. A successful life comes to those working hard for it. Women are a byproduct of a successful life.

Can you save this relationship? I don't give a shit. The stay plan is the same as the go plan. You have no plan. BTW, she sounds pretty aware. Unless she's fat she has access to other, better dick than yours. She won't stay around long, this IS her warning shot of "Why am I with someone who has no frame?"

Fortunately, you're in the right place. Now start reading like your life depends on it. It does.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP. Read above until your eyes fucking bleed

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not much to add here other than quit talking so much to her - you’re digging the hole deeper. STFU... lift and sidebar.

[–]creating_my_life3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was going to hit him up with, "Whats your height, weight, bodyfat, and squat?", but thought I'd stick to the personality first. He'd just argue anyways.

[–]johncillo[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks! I really needed this! I will not defend myself on this. I will take these bullets as a man and own it. However, not all of this applies so I will take what works for me. This redpill relationship is new for me, and I am glad I have this community as a support.

[–]aherrns1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I love tough love. No BDSM though...

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're a drunk beta that needs to be reminded to clean his own room. The fact that she's being a pain in the ass means that you have a loyal wife that's waiting for you to get your shit together. Consider it a favor, and realize that it doesn't last forever.

[–]Maximus_Valerius10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

recently my LTR told me

  • The good news: She cared enough to tell you.
  • The bad news: It reached the point where she had to overtly tell you these things, which means you probably didn't pick up on the subtle hints she's been dropping along the way. If I woman overtly communicates in this way, she's run out of womanese options and is pulling out the nukes.

she wanted me to improve

  • The good news: She must see potential in you.
  • The bad news: You are operating far below your potential.

After this, I told her that she is a pain in the ass as well, to watch her behavior and accept that she is difficult.

  • The good news: There is no good news.
  • The bad news: First, you DEER'd and got into a tit-for-tat argument. If she made valid points, acknowledge them (this is fogging from WISNIFG) and let the others go. Second, it just might be that the reason she is "difficult" is because you are not leading like you should. It's amazing how a "difficult" woman shapes up when you do. My wife has admitted many times that she "can be difficult." After I started owning my shit, she became much less difficult. Third, telling her to evaluate her own behavior and admit her faults is a sure-fire way to ensure that she won't do it.

Now go read u/creating_my_life's comment ten times and follow his advice.

[–]johncillo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man, I certainly will. Thank you for so much wisdom.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck off. You are a child. Go do what mommy says like a good little boy.

When you are ready to be a man, the work is laid out on the sidebar.

[–]Grimsterr1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

After this, I told her that she is a pain in the ass as well, to watch her behavior and accept that she is difficult. She wanted to fuck afterwards but I told her I was not in the mood.

Jesus Christ, you got butthurt. Went for a "I know you are but what am I" retort. She's pretty much 100% right, except that picking up other people's trash shit, fuck that, unless I'm already going to the trash with my stuff then I'll offer "want me to dump that since I'm headed that way" otherwise, yeah fuck that.

[–]mrp_awakening1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Most replies are on point. Its not about serving people... it's about leading and owning your shit. Lead. This means picture a clean house with all your shit done, planning to get there, and executing. Pretend you live alone... what would have to do to make your house a clean organized living space? You're showing dependance on your wife to pick up after you like a child. Get to independence (clean up your shit), and then interdependence (lead her and direct her).

[–]johncillo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Eventhough most comments are on point, I like this one since it helps me with vision, and plan a roadmap. Thanks brother!

[–]TheThirdT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Time to be a good boy and listen to mommy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can we ban OP for being the faggotest of faggot faggoters we have ever seen?

[–]Tiway220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She’s right.

[–]ManguZa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You ought to be a leader. You should be the best and be the one to tell other to take care of their shit. Strive to that.

[–]becoming_alpha0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I should clean even if it is her or not in order to keep the environment free of things that can make you sick.

u/creating_my_life is spot on, but this is just disgusting. Your apartment is such a mess that you're worried about getting a disease from it? You're lucky she hasn't already left you and this overt communication from here is probably her last attempt to get you to act like a man before she moves on.

Your LTR is exactly right, you're a child. Put on your big boy pant and start acting like a man. Own your shit.

She explicitly told me to stop giving justifications for everything.

Read this as don't DEER, and she's again exactly right. Don't try to justify when she correctly calls you on not owning your shit. Man up and take care of it. Example: "Hey johncillo, isn't this the pizza from last weekend still on your counter? Eww." (this is her trying to be nice while telling you you're disgusting). You: "Dang, you're right, that's so gross. It's probably growing ebola virus by now. Give me a few minutes to clean up before we leave" (then you take care of your shit, and don't let it be a problem in the future).

After this, I told her that she is a pain in the ass as well.

She's pointing out that you're not owning your shit, and you're counterattacking? STFU and work on yourself. Maybe she is a pain in the ass, but you're worse. Step up your game and odds are she will too.

[–]johncillo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man! That example really opened my eyes on what I should be doing.

[–]wkndatbernardus0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Improve if you want but don't let your ltr chart your course for you. I get tired of a woman real quick if she starts telling or hinting at what I should do. She doesn't like the way I load my dishwasher? There's the door. Champs train, chumps complain. Most women are lazy chumps.

[–]johncillo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, that is what happening, grinds my gears everytime I forget something even if it is something minimal and she points it out, but thanks for the advice.

[–]yoshireddox0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

good history bro

[–]adeptintact0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She's treating you like a child. Grab your sack and man up. Then consider leaving her.

[–]johncillo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well this has been a challenge and an improvement for me. If everything goes south, so be it. What I’m looking for is improvement and it looks like I need too much. Would like her to stay to keep improving.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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