Background- I’m working my way through fully unplugging. Covert contracts regarding sex no longer exist in my marriage. Sex with the wife is great, and I get some unsolicited BJ action fairly often. Never to the “happy ending” though unless I request it. I don’t request it that often to keep it special, and it does take me quite a while that way. I would say it’s kind of a special occasion thing between us. She will not turn me down, but it is admittedly not her favorite thing to do. I am aware that I have a LONG way to go before reaching the point of raw alpha lust where she simply wants my load “everywhere.” We all need goals! This is not a point of validation for me, I can take it or leave it, it just feels great!
Scenario- Wife wanted me to help setting up a vendor booth for a bridal convention. I didn’t really mind helping as it provided an opportunity for me see and be seen by all of the other vendors that my wife frequently interacts with. Before I committed though, as I didn’t want to give my valuable time away for free, I overtly negotiated my labor rate of 1 happy ending per hour of labor. It was something that we both had fun with in the process, and the day was light hearted quality time together. I now have 5 “Happy Ending Vouchers” in my pocket, we had a great, productive day together, and I’m getting ready to cash some of them bitches in! Barters aren’t a regular thing for us, just something that came to mind that day. I told the wife it was a win/win, as she didn't have to pay anyone to help her set up and I didn't have to pay anyone for a great BJ, to which she laughed.
Question- Are overt, light-hearted, sexual barters such as this detrimental to all of the hard work I’ve been doing? I would hate to establish some precedent or bad habit…but I am having difficulty finding fault. Not trying to abuse it, but it could be a great way to bring a little more excitement into the bedroom...couch...kitchen table...neighbor's backyard...lol.
Edit begins here- we had already made plans for some afternoon delight because I sometimes roll out of work early on fridays when my shit is handled. I get home and can't even bust a nut because I have a weak bitch frame and a few internet douchebags got in my head. Time was limited as the kids had to be picked up from school. After going pretty hard for a bit, I got up, told her it was great but i couldn't orgasm, and asked her if she wanted some iced tea. Went to the kitchen for a couple glasses and when i came back she was going fucking nuts! She couldn't understand why i couldn't finish. Her hamster was in overdrive i guess because she jumped back on with renewed determination, and finished me with a bj. After soaking in the exchange on this post, I told her last night that counting happy endings was dumb and that she knows what I like. I learned from all of this that I can't hold frame when I get pissed, and that any kind of trade/transaction for sexual favors, covert or overt, shows that you can't get what you want/ deserve otherwise. Thanks for all the guidance, I'm ordering NMMNG now, and have fun tearing me apart on my edit.