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Red Pill take on Overt Sexual Barters

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February 1, 2019
10 upvotes

Background- I’m working my way through fully unplugging. Covert contracts regarding sex no longer exist in my marriage. Sex with the wife is great, and I get some unsolicited BJ action fairly often. Never to the “happy ending” though unless I request it. I don’t request it that often to keep it special, and it does take me quite a while that way. I would say it’s kind of a special occasion thing between us. She will not turn me down, but it is admittedly not her favorite thing to do. I am aware that I have a LONG way to go before reaching the point of raw alpha lust where she simply wants my load “everywhere.” We all need goals! This is not a point of validation for me, I can take it or leave it, it just feels great!

Scenario- Wife wanted me to help setting up a vendor booth for a bridal convention. I didn’t really mind helping as it provided an opportunity for me see and be seen by all of the other vendors that my wife frequently interacts with. Before I committed though, as I didn’t want to give my valuable time away for free, I overtly negotiated my labor rate of 1 happy ending per hour of labor. It was something that we both had fun with in the process, and the day was light hearted quality time together. I now have 5 “Happy Ending Vouchers” in my pocket, we had a great, productive day together, and I’m getting ready to cash some of them bitches in! Barters aren’t a regular thing for us, just something that came to mind that day. I told the wife it was a win/win, as she didn't have to pay anyone to help her set up and I didn't have to pay anyone for a great BJ, to which she laughed.

Question- Are overt, light-hearted, sexual barters such as this detrimental to all of the hard work I’ve been doing? I would hate to establish some precedent or bad habit…but I am having difficulty finding fault. Not trying to abuse it, but it could be a great way to bring a little more excitement into the bedroom...couch...kitchen table...neighbor's backyard...lol.

Edit begins here- we had already made plans for some afternoon delight because I sometimes roll out of work early on fridays when my shit is handled. I get home and can't even bust a nut because I have a weak bitch frame and a few internet douchebags got in my head. Time was limited as the kids had to be picked up from school. After going pretty hard for a bit, I got up, told her it was great but i couldn't orgasm, and asked her if she wanted some iced tea. Went to the kitchen for a couple glasses and when i came back she was going fucking nuts! She couldn't understand why i couldn't finish. Her hamster was in overdrive i guess because she jumped back on with renewed determination, and finished me with a bj. After soaking in the exchange on this post, I told her last night that counting happy endings was dumb and that she knows what I like. I learned from all of this that I can't hold frame when I get pissed, and that any kind of trade/transaction for sexual favors, covert or overt, shows that you can't get what you want/ deserve otherwise. Thanks for all the guidance, I'm ordering NMMNG now, and have fun tearing me apart on my edit.


Post Information
Title Red Pill take on Overt Sexual Barters
Author CrazyLegs78
Upvotes 10
Comments 78
Date 01 February 2019 04:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/211018
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/am3wii/red_pill_take_on_overt_sexual_barters/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
alphaframehamsterthe red pillNMMNG
Comments

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet62 points63 points  (10 children) | Copy

There is a guy she knows whose dick she would suck for free, and she would clean his house afterwards and make him dinner. That's the guy you want to be, not the one that has to negotiate blowjobs for chores because your wife isn't turned on by you enough to give them to you on her own.

Don't ever do that shit again, it's literally one of the most beta things you can do.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This 1000%.

[–]CrazyLegs78[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Got it. I honestly was just trying to have a little fun with her, didn't put much more thought into it than that. Mistake noted.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

I know it seems harmless but I'll explain why it's fucked.

You can never bring these "vouchers" up again. Ever. If you mention this in an attempt to get blown, you will look like a beta who is negotiating desire. If you mention it even in joking you will look like a loser who has been thinking about blowjob vouchers this whole time. There is no way you can bring up the voucher and look hot unless it's some agree and amplify shit involving other women and it pisses her off, and I don't think you're ready for that. Giving her the power to suck your dick in the form of a piece of paper is fucked. Sucking your dick is privledge, don't give it away so easy.

So, now that you understand that you can never bring these vouchers up after the fact, that begs the question, why even do it in the first place? Well that is why everyone on here is telling you no. It's good to be open about wanting to get blown and shit, and having fun being sexy and talking about sex, but there are better ways to do it, so I would try those.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is no way you can bring up the voucher and look hot unless it's some agree and amplify shit involving other women and it pisses her off, and I don't think you're ready for that.

This. I'd only ever bring it up as an A&A like if she sees you looking at a hot chick and calls you on it "I wonder if she accepts BJ vouchers?" Smirk, ass slap, on to something else.

[–]Thisismyusername1100-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

There's only one real question: what happens when you try to cash in the voucher and she says no?

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Her saying yes for a voucher isn't great either

[–]Thisismyusername11000 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

No question, but from a thought exercise point of view.

When she says no, what do you do? Negotiate for your voucher? Get mad? Let her walk all over the "boundary" you set by doing nothing at all?

Literally any answer to that question is basically shitty.

[–]aherrns2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

As there is currency devaluation perhaps he will find bjs price increases in the future...

[–]Thisismyusername11002 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Inflation is a cruel mistress

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep and she holds a monopoly on the BJs, unless there's a polyamorous situation

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret35 points36 points  (5 children) | Copy

I overtly negotiated my labor rate of 1 happy ending per hour of labor.

Sucking your dick is now work. Congratz.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow.. amazing how people can fuck themseleves without even knowing.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

He put the Job in Blowjob

[–]CrazyLegs78[S] -5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy

She isn't quite as good at it as you are, so it takes her a bit longer. Yes, it might be a little laborious.

[–]jerrymcguiver11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

She makes chad bust a nut in half the time as you. Funny how she doesn't consider it labor for him.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

It also seems that OP isn't familiar with "Briffault’s Law". He's not going to collect on these 5 BJs either. I'd wager he can't collect more than two.

So congratz again. BJs are work, and also debts to you can remain unfulfilled.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy

“ I would hate to establish some precedent“

Too late faggot.

[–]creating_my_life10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

please tell me this is a troll or sarcasm. oh god please.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Winston Churchill was known to be quite incorrigible and once looked at a woman near him and asked, "Would you sleep with me?"

"Mr. Churchill, I never"

"How about for 1 million pounds?"

"Well, for a million pounds..."

"How about for 20 pounds?"

"Mr. Churchill what kind of woman do you think I am?"

"Madame, we've already established that, we are merely negotiating now."

There's a lot of good points made by a few others here, but one that no one has touched on.

Here you say:

...don’t request it that often to keep it special

I think the problem is you don't own your sexuality. Whether you are like red-sfpplus and want to make that shit fun, or you think it's like choreplay like the rest do the real point is you're worried about what it looks like.

If you read the Sex God Method, you surely could have got this to work better for you without turning it into what you did.

Never be afraid to advocate for what you want in the bedroom.

Never make excuses for your sexuality.

[–]JCX_Pulse0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

SGM is later on in my reading list (still finishing pre-reqs) but where can it be found? It’s like $1k on amazon. I hear it’s on pdf, how did you read it?

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Google for it...

[–]JCX_Pulse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thx

[–]SeamusAwl5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I now have 5 “Happy Ending Vouchers” in my pocket, we had a great, productive day together, and I’m getting ready to cash some of them bitches in!

Then throw them away or use them to continue on as a playful joke. But have zero expectation of ever using them as an "On Demand" blow job.

[–]CrazyLegs78[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Done.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red6 points7 points  (23 children) | Copy

Fuck all these guys...I am 100% cool with barter for sex.

I gave my girlfriend a sex coupon book for her birthday.

There are 16 pages in it. 8 of them are sexual acts for her to do to me, and 8 for me to do to her. All my ideas..

Totally cool to have IOU's for sex.

[–]Cam_Winston2113 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's different than choreplay.

A sex coupon book is a GIFT of a book of gifts, which makes it even more playful.

My wife giving me an IOU for a BJ ("I'm sleepy, I'll take care of you first thing tomorrow") is quite different than "if you help me do laundry, I'll give you a BJ".

[–]CrazyLegs78[S] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

So just for clarification, I normally would not have been involved with the booth set-up. Never saw it as chore play, but thanks for the input.

[–]Cam_Winston214 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You gave your wife the commitment of marriage. That's enough from your end of the barter, otherwise WTF are you doing married? Did you do it to hold hands & watch Netflix? A man gets married for many reasons, starting a family & entering an exclusive sexual relationship top pretty much all lists.

A husband need not add in choreplay; all that's left is whether or not she's in the mood at any particular time. Reading the sidebar, read the notes, lift & learn, will all help make you the type of man that will keep her in the mood.

Relax. Don't get taken aback by the locker room talk here, this is a place for men to share notes.

This is simply a setback, but one you can easily overcome. Toss that voucher book in the trash and never mention it again. If she brings it up, that is actually a good thing, it means she's thinking about sucking your dick.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy

u/red-sfpplus can pull that off though.

Just about a year ago, OP caught his wife of 14 years fucking Chad in an apartment complex.. and admittingly “still in act of unplugging”. Read a few books & now he’s a kid with dynamite.

[–]CrazyLegs78[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Yep, that happened end of Jan 2018. What am I going to do, live with a grudge every day? I have no solid proof of anything, even though she was likely getting spit roasted and loving every minute of it. Since then, I have begun improving myself. She knows I will walk if I find no value in her contribution to my life. She can leave me whenever she wants and I'll be just fine. I'm not trying keep a woman, just trying to enjoy a few things while I figure out others. Sex has been great the past year and she cooks and cleans more than ever. We have fun together and enjoy each other's company when we have the time.

[–]SuperCrazy075 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

She knows you will walk?

I’ll bet she thinks the only way your marriage ends is when she leaves you.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Do you think Chad(s) had coupons?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Fuck. So right.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

No. Chads do not need coupons.

Source: I am Chad.

PS - anyone want to wager how many of my coupons involved back or foot massages?

[–]testy682 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tell us what your coupon says Chad. I'm giving you the perfect set. Spike it!!!

[–]HERE2SHILL0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You role play as chad on the internet. That's about as unchaddy as it gets.

[–]helaughsinhidden2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What am I going to do

How about stop making more mistakes!?!?!?

[–]SeamusAwl2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Big difference between you and the OP.

You gave her the book. It was entirely your idea and she gets to pick when to use them. This was the OP's idea to force his wife into On Demand blowjobs. It can lead to DB style duty "oral" sex. His best bet is to continue to use it as a playful prop when she spontaneously goes down on him. Perhaps he can pull out a $10 bill and tell her "Here is something extra because I am going to use you as my meat puppet" when he does use that coupon.

[–]CrazyLegs78[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I didn't force anything! She could have easily said no or made a counter offer and it would have been just as good/acceptable. It was meant to be a lighthearted, fun, exchange. Thanks for the feedback, will consider this in future situations.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why would she say no?

Do pawn shops say no when they take a $100 item for $20 because the person needs the $20 and they have no options?

Why you so thick bro?

You worked for free. Paid with your time and labor up front. Your wife was the pawn shop operator. She knows she has zero risk in taking your time and effort.

Your sorry ass will never collect your item back. They will sell it for $100 and make $80 off you for being a fag.

If you want to help. Help.

Covert AND Overt contracts between a man and a woman are FOR FAGS.

Help because you want to. You are a man supporting his woman’s mission.

Not some butthurt pussy that:

Doesn’t want to help.

Needs a bullshit barter to help.

Is not busy with his own life so he is unavailable to help.

Get a life. Get some balls. And next time help so hard your biceps flex out of your shirt and she is soaking wet in her panties watching you manhandle her booth gear.

My ass would have setup the booth then taken her behind a concrete pillar and collected my pay.

Bitch.

[–]CrazyLegs78[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. This was useful to me. Thank you.

[–]CrazyLegs78[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

And no negative feedback from it yet? Good to know...thanks!

[–]BostonBrakeJob7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just in case you're missing the bigger picture, the IOU/barter thing can be fun (as you found out already.) The "problems" come up when she flakes out and you get butthurt. So don't get butthurt. None of that "Bu-bu-but we had a deeeeeal" bs.

I bet and barter sex acts sparringly anymore bc, quite frankly, it's shit I can get anyway. Only used for variety purposes, and only if it's fun for both me and the wife. Sometimes I can tell she feels more pressure than fun, that's when I'll shift the bet to something ridiculous like her remodeling a room instead of me doing it. We both know she couldn't, even if she wanted to, so it's fun to throw shit like that out there.

Point being, make it about having some lighthearted fun together (like you did), not the act itself (like where you seem to be going with it.)

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol, I'm stealing this and giving my wife a sex coupon book for V-day.

[–]helaughsinhidden0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Difference is that YOU are still the prize. It's HER PRIVILEGE to receive sexual favors FROM HER.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I am not drunk...right now anyway, and I still cant figure out WTF you are saying.

[–]helaughsinhidden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LOL, I was typing at a red light and I kind of lost my train of thought.

I basically don't think the OP has the correct frame nor was this the right context to do this kind of trade and was thinking you could get away with it because possibly you are the prize in the relationship (he isn't) and that's why your version might be acceptable and his isn't. Also, you aren't DOING anything to EARN it.

After reconsidering though, I am not sure I buy into the card game either. It seems like something you'd read from Cosmo. Being attractive enough to simply say "put it in your mouth" is a better move than handing in a coupon like an old woman at a grocery store.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Stop making deals.

I used to make lots of overt trades with my wife (and covert ones too) - either choreplay or back rubs for bjs. It was the only way i got BJs! One of the first things to go when I unplugged was that weak beta bullshit.

There was one occasion where she asked if I wanted to "make a deal" for a shoulder rub - she said she'd give me a BJ in exchange. I just told her that I'm not interested in making deals like that any more. She said "so you don't want me to suck your dick" and I said "no, I want you to suck my dick, but I won't be making those deals anymore." I rubbed her shoulders, then went to do something else. She fucked enthusiastically that night...and I've never said anyhing more about it, nor has she.

Fast forward a year - I rub her shoulders more than I ever did before, and she blows me more than ever before. Think about this - isn't the most enjoyable part of a BJ knowing that it's all about you....that she's getting nothing out of it but knowing she's making her man feel good?

I also have turned down starfish sex "I don't have sex with women who don't want to have sex with me" was the line I used. That happened ONCE and the starfish has been dead since then.

[–]CrazyLegs78[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I really thought the word "covert" was the unacceptable part. Now I know better, thanks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So much DEER in this post.

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Choreplay! Why didn't I think of that?

[–]0io-Tsundere1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Usually treating the wife like a whore is a good idea, but in the sense of un-apologetically getting your sexual needs met. You've set it up that she's not expected to have the kind of sex you want unless you go to her job and provide free labor? Terrible idea!

[–]CrazyLegs78[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That makes sense.

[–]kendallb1831 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Making overt sexual contracts is fine in JEST, however... for the love of God, when you "cash in"... it should also be done in a joking manner as if your just kidding but kinda not (outcome independant), and if she doesnt hold up to her end of the deal, DO NOT get butthurt. Sex is NEVER an obligation. Do not train your woman that sex with you is something she has to make herself do. Resentment and loss of attraction result. Plus a likely shitty stupid arguement.

I've jokingly said "I bet a blowjob xyz" when I won... later that night walking to bed I'd make a joke, man the blowjob you owe me is gonna be great! But dont dare pressure her... you'll find yourself fighting a harpy real quick, and it's just against how MRP teaches you to build attraction.

Get blowjobs because your attractive, not because you can pimp your wife to yourself and as her pimp try to enforce that she give up the goods.

[–]aherrns0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Very same thing as the other's comments here but with common sense as the main component. Tnx for this.

[–]Redpillbrigade170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yikes. Bokanovsky egg -level blue pill right here, fellas.

Seriously OP: if you make it a game and are not getting butt hurt in the whole process then go for it. Keep in mind though the goal is ultimately for you to get laid and sucked any time you want and any which way, without vouchers like these. She should be the one cashing these in with you, not the other way around.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think it depends on your personal situation, my wife dribbled sex out like it was the rarest of commodities and ALWAYS in trade for something she wanted. Kicking out the transactional sex was a requirement for me. In a more sex positive situation when it's a just for fun thing I can see it working.

It's a hard pass for me though as it implies its something that's been bought. Unless your wifes a whore and your a John, then you shouldn't ever pay for sex, its something that should come naturally.

[–]Imaginary_Historian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you are down to overt sex contracts, your relationship is already over.

[–]mrp_awakening0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What's the red pill take on sexual barters?

Don't. End of discussion.

[–]helaughsinhidden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why don't you do a field report. I trust you are tracking your sexual frequency on an app like Sex Calendar or similar. Share with the rest of the class exactly how many BJ's you've had in the the past 30 days and the quality and then if that goes up or down in frequency and enthusiasm for the next 30 days.

My prediction is that you will get 1 unenthusiastic BJ and no nut in the mouth and it will be followed by a drought for the next month or two.

[–]Frosteecat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know bro--not sure how much I'd enjoy a BJ I had to use a coupon for. Seems like giving Mommy vacuuming coupons on Mother's Day when we were kids...not sure of all the angles but negotiated sex/choreplay combos seems counter-intuitive and not in the realm of what we're trying to accomplish here.

Interested to hear how this turns out, ultimately. Maybe your lady finds it fun somehow. Mine would think I was being super gay and needy.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As long as it’s lighthearted fun then great. If it’s you actually not going to get a bj and “cashing in” to get one then you lost.

Just keep it fun and playful. Call her your little whore that you paid for and it’s all good.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No trades.

No nothing.

Be the best version of you, you can be

Lift. Sidebar

[–]jerrymcguiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Who needs covert when you can go the overt contract way. Hopefully you don't get too butthurt when she no want to accept the payment. They're not chads ious after all.

[–]aherrns0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wow! Though love in the air!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Some women just aren't fans of the BJ. Wife sounds like this. My ex hated BJ's because she hated the smell. She would rather do anal then smell my groin. I'm not a fan of overt sex barters but in relationship dynamics there are barters happening all the time whether you are aware or not. So going against the grain and saying that the barter was neither good nor bad idea - and more of a joke at the time and should just be forgotten. Your best bet would have been to use all 5 of them during the convention while it was fun.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Keep yourself clean and smelling good, bro.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It was actually the smell of ass that bothered her and I couldn’t get rid of. was terrible at them anyway. Unlike her sister.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It was actually the smell of ass that bothered her and I couldn’t get rid of.

Yeah, can't blame someone for being bothered by your poor hygiene and not wanting to smelling your ass while sucking your dirty dick. WTH man, wash your ass. I was 283 lbs when I started MRP - my fat ass didn't stink though.

[–]witnessthenomorebp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm here at red pill for the same reasons everyone else is, so it's not like my wife is hypersexual. Two things, was just in the sex shop for my wife to get her nose pierced (they have a room-boutique inside dedicated to this) and they had these coupon books on the counter. I laughed at handed her one to read, to get the reaction from her to calibrate my response. She flipped through it and tossed it onto the counter telling me, "If I got you one of these it would turn it all into work.". So there you have that. Then we went into the toy room while waiting and she shopped with the attendant helping and talking her through each one. She expressed interest in about 5 of them. I got 2 and she said she was excited to try them. All of that just to say, there's a lot of value in bouncing these ideas off of other here and if you have a legit question keep it coming because it helps everyone.

Might as well just give her an around the world banging with everything in the coupon book without mentioning them and then toss them all in the air after and shout"make it rain!" It would be a humorous way to dig yourself out of the expectation/coupon/chore hole you've did yourself into. You could just never mention it again, but it would really "put it to bed" to make it a joke after spontaneous and fun good sex. Just a thought.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This can work if you play it out to the full conclusion. Many couples find that role playing the prostitute/John game can be quite fun.

You could also graphically burn your vouchers and help yourself to a permanent lifetime voucher- you know, the one in those vows your wife supposedly meant when she said. That's probably my advice. Simply turn in those same day tickets for a lifetime pass. As is, they are insulting and disrespectful.

[–]Aechzen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The way you framed it, I think the barter is fine. She giggled, and if she follows through, awesome. As long as it's fun and fucking you is something she wants to do anyway, you're doing it right.

When you have to twist her arm to get her to fuck you, you're doing it wrong.



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