How do some women find so many boyfriends or men who interest them?

ApplepieTurnover · 2019-02-01T23:36:27+00:00

Personally I’ve found there are two types of people:

1) seldom fall for someone but when they do, they fall really hard

2) fall for a lot of people but never that deeply, find it easy to move on.

Now I’m one of the 2nd group and my sister is in the 1st group. It sounds like you are in the 1st group too. She sounds very similar to you in many ways (she also has a much lower sex drive then me.)

I think embrace this as part of who you are, when the right one comes along really enjoy it cause it’s rare for you and that kinda makes it a whole lot sweeter in a way. I fall easily in love but I also fall out of love quickly, so I’m kinda jealous! Intensity more than makes up for rarity I think. :)

Helmet_Icicle · 2019-02-02T02:36:03+00:00

They have what most men are looking for physically and mentally.
They're located in the places that men looking to be interested are also in.
They're engaging proactively in getting what they want.

There's no point in being concerned about what other women are doing if they're getting men that you're not interested in. What you should be focusing on is being attractive to the kinds of men you want to attract. It's all well and good to know what you're looking for, but the real progress is knowing how to find it in other people.

I appreciate attention, kindness, and friendship compatibility the most.

This doesn't further your ability to find compatibility. 99.9% of people are invariably looking for the same exact thing, so this doesn't do anything to distinguish you as a candidate.

I also like to find a man who has an interest in politics and/or history, regardless of his stance. I like being able to discuss and debate such matters.

Political history is pretty low on the totem pole in terms of contemporary interests.

I think my sex drive is quite low, but I am the sort who would negotiate well with his needs.

"I don't want to have sex with you but I can give you a pity handjob" is the opposite of persuasive negotiation.

Am I searching for such a small minority?

Are you searching for anything differently than most other people? Everything you say you're looking for is not only hard to find, it's also decreasing your potential value. You want someone who wants a friend instead of a girlfriend, but won't expect lots of sex? So you're looking for a roommate FWB? And you think someone with the intellectual caliber to debate the nuance of politics and history is somehow also going to settle for this?

And any advice?

Stop looking for your last relationship and just focus on learning as much as you can from your next relationship.

skeleflor · 2019-02-02T02:52:33+00:00

I hear you, and often find myself wondering the same: are my standards really that high? Am I overly picky? I have girlfriends who have slept with dozens of men and it's just beyond my powers of imagination how any woman can find that many men worthy of that extreme intimacy and vulnerability.

It's worth keeping in mind that your partner -- your "one" -- doesn't ultimately have to be the one to fulfill all your needs. You can debate politics and talk history with friends, colleagues, or family members too. It's essential to have values in common and a shared vision for your future, and it's important to have a few activities you can enjoy doing together to ensure that you spend time together and that the time spent together is mutually enjoyable. But it's not necessary to be perfect matches. You don't have to be on the same page for everything; it's alright to be on adjacent pages, too.

Zegiknie · 2019-02-02T09:23:48+00:00

The problem many women have, is the only have eyes for the men who give them attention (you and the 'nice guys' with their covert contracts around acts of service).

Get to know many people. If they are interesting to you, make yourself appeal to them.

Or, you know, sit in that tower and wait ;-)

I have loooooong been off the market, but I also find intelligence essential to attraction. I lucked out early with a brothers friend, but if not, I would have gone actively searching for a husband. Not just picking the least worst of my beta orbiters.

Try debate clubs and maybe internet forums where politics get debated?

ondinee · 2019-02-02T09:03:52+00:00

Many women don’t really know what they want. If you don’t plan to find a certain kind of person (such as: tall/funny/religious or not religious/whatever you want) you can fall for any kind of person. If you don’t know what you want, how do you pick a partner? Also many women just pick someone to avoid being alone. Some women don’t really have a strong personality, especially when young. So it makes it easier to like or adjust to much more types of men. If you know what you want, there is a smaller pool of people to choose from, since only some people will meet your standards.

faerie87 · 2019-02-02T06:45:04+00:00

People are just different. Some people are pickier than other. Some people don't mind different types of cuisines where as others only like one or two types and have a lot of deal breakers. Also depends on age, and what qualities you prioritise. I used to like guys easily because I was so desperate to get in relationships. I only learned to be pickier after I wasted time in relationships and matured, it was then I realized I was looking for a lifelong partner.

On the other hand, if you never like any guys that like you and you've met a lot, then maybe you're too picky.

[deleted] · 2019-02-03T01:55:52+00:00

Most people barely have any standards, don't do any sort of proper vetting, or worse, are worrying about the complete wrong things about a future partner. I mean, how many amazing marriages do you know? How many alright ones? And how many bad?

Gordonsan · 2019-02-02T19:23:59+00:00

Lol good point. Thought about how this would be perceived after I posted it. Wasn’t trying to pick her up. I was just offering to chat but I see how it would look like that. A bit young for me honestly.

RainbowKitty77 · 2019-02-03T01:49:25+00:00

When I was younger I had a crush on pretty much every guy I knew at one point or another. I'm at a point now where I hardly ever crush on anyone. I tend to go for people who would go for me 8/10.

HB3234 · 2019-02-03T20:16:39+00:00

I'm seeing a lot of a sentiment that these women don't vet well or are easy. And that's likely true to some degree - but only because most people vet terribly.

Still, I would like to add another element: if you are beautiful and feminine, you're such a rare asset that you often really do have the pick of the litter. There are so many wonderful, generous, strong, kind men out there when you are young. So if you've got a good RMV and SMV, good men can be easy to find. The problem occurs when you expect this abundance to last forever, when in reality those good guys get snapped up faster than a minnow at a pirhana convention.

If your SMV is decent, consider your approachability, your demeanor, and where you spend your time.

MadHatter921 · 2019-02-05T01:54:57+00:00

Have you heard of the terms sapiosexual and/or demisexual? The former is one who finds intelligence attractive and the latter is one who needs an emotional connection to be sexually attracted. I find lots of men physically attractive, but if their personalities aren't up to par, that's as far as it can go for me. I have a friend who is less red pill, more "fempowered". She argues that she loves and feels a connection with everyone, so why should she date just one person? That's fine for some people, but it isn't everyone. If it is a matter of being attracted to intelligence and needing an emotional connection, maybe try to open your mind to these men who are kind and compassionate. At least let them take you to dinner, pay for your portion if you don't want to feel any obligation. Some of us don't fall as easily as others but we definitely won't fall if we don't get out there. If you like them enough as a friend, give them a chance to impress you further.

Gordonsan · 2019-02-02T03:24:43+00:00

Hey, I love discussing History and politics. Either side is fine. I have been told that sometimes i play devils advocate. What history are you interested in? I studied Asian History for a while, but have just started to be interested in European history recently. My Wikipedia browsing got me interested one evening, and i got caught up in how Queen Victoria was trying to put a relative on all of the thrones in Europe. So World War one was a huge fight between family members! (Source: https://www.historyextra.com/period/victorian/friends-family-rivals-queen-victoria-european-empires-politics-foreign-policy/ )

I tend to value conversations, and discussion with my partners, some were receptive, others not so much. While sex for me is important, i don't want it to be the the only means of connection. Physical connection is great, but i need to have a mental one as well.

As for advice, i can only suggest you don't settle. It seems like you have a good understanding of what you are looking for. Keep looking and don't get discouraged.

If your ever looking for someone to talk to about history, or to debate the latest insane political event feel free to PM me. Good luck out there.

Title	How do some women find so many boyfriends or men who interest them?
Author	Maybelowsmv
Upvotes	47
Comments	23
Date	February 1, 2019 11:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/am7yez/how_do_some_women_find_so_many_boyfriends_or_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-some-women-find-so-many-boyfriends-or-men.211043 https://theredarchive.com/post/211043