By upvoting this particular post r/niceguys, you acknowledge 2 things: That women use their guy friends as emotional tampons just as they do each other, and that guy friends can have genuine romantic feelings for a woman as a relationship partner and not a sex object as they're often accused of.

Traksimuss · 2020-09-05T14:53:05+00:00

No man wants to listen to woman whine and about every little shit happening in her life. Inexperienced guys think that one day they will get to smash that vagina attached to whiny brat, but few years later they learn that it is lie.

One of best reads was first days of TRP, where guy stopped doing favors to girl after she rejected him, and she was incensed and asked hens if the good guy "was faking it all the time", where women always look for ulterior motives, it is how they themselves tick and project it on everybody else.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2020-09-05T14:53:19+00:00

This is some great insight, but it doesn't cover the more important question, how do you know if she's interested in you?

It's simple: Don't pay attention to her. If a woman comes to you to whine about her lack of character, poor decision making, or anything else show complete and total apathy.

By showing you don't care you are sending the message that you aren't interested listening to her problems and you're not an emotional object for her to toy with.

She'll either move on and find someone else to whine to or it will trigger her arousal and she'll start to view you as a potential sexual partner. You'll know she's interested in you for sex if she keeps trying get your attention. As long as you give her just enough to keep her intrigued she'll build attraction and if it happens it happens.

YMMV, but this is a basic description of things I've observed and experienced.

Me2Brah · 2020-09-05T17:36:26+00:00

I actually get instantly annoyed if I realise a woman thinks I’m here to be her emotional tampon; she must think I have nothing else to do with my life than to suffer her pointless existence.

Either women are strong and independent or they frequently need a male shoulder to cry on because they can’t deal with the stresses of life.

Pick one.

Another thing I’ve noticed is women treat their male emotional tampons with absolutely zero regard. The level of disrespect they show you is insane.

Adam95x · 2020-09-05T19:20:44+00:00

Reminds me of when I had a female friend a long time ago and she used to tell me about her problems and I would give logical solutions/advice and she would get pissed because I didn't listen to her even though I clearly did because otherwise I wouldn't be able to give the advice I did. I still don't understand what she meant. Good times

mr_kuk · 2020-09-05T13:19:51+00:00

This makes sense only if your assumption is that men and women are exactly the same, except the genitals. But at the very same time, women don't suffer from cognitive dissonance they revel in it, her argument is based on men and women being inherently different, ie her premise is based on her premise being flawed. So, why are we compelled to hear her out? It's entertainment, it's like watching a hamster spin the wheel so fast it gets caught in the spin and falls out of the wheel.

Miggymoggy · 2020-09-05T15:54:48+00:00

Having a female friend in most cases is a complete one sided friendship, which the guy is the actual friend (who wants to be more than a friend in most cases) whilst the woman exploits her so-called friend as he is used as a piggy bank, a personal chauffeur and he just becomes a complete mug, who listens to her whinging about bad boys, her awful day at work and how everything is never her fault.

The term is not a friend but an orbiter and she damn well knows how to exploit the orbiter, which does explain why so many women have quite a few so-called male friends (stand by orbiters).

philosophic_insight · 2020-09-05T15:30:11+00:00

All I'm saying is this, women abuse guys like these for years and then don't understand why they aren't there anymore when they finally get a modicum of self respect. I spent years as a emotional tampon before I decided enough was enough and cut all ties. She got annoyed I left, DON'T think with the little brain. Just cut ties and focus on yourself.

Typo-MAGAshiv · 2020-09-05T19:02:53+00:00

"We do that with our female friends, so it makes sense we'd do that with our male friends."

Cool. Men who are friends help each other with onerous tasks and the one being helped provides beer and pizza afterwards.

Help me move all this debris from the recent storms, friend.

No, I'm not going to talk about "how the storms made me feel". A) I feel nothing about it. It's just something that happened, and I must deal with it. B) there's work to be done. We'll talk over the pizza and beer, but not about feeeeeeelings.

42252252 · 2020-09-05T20:22:35+00:00

The best line to teach teens when they're told "let's just be friends" is

" No thanks, I have enough friends. I'm looking for a partner. Thanks though!"

It's a trap to have all of the duties and responsibilities with none of the reciprocity. Guys don't even have that idea very often any more, we're much more splintered and if someone starts driving to the hoop of "You dude we're totally friends, yeah!?" is generally trying to screw you somehow, like buying his wife's stock of essential oils so he can park in the garage again.

3HardWay · 2020-09-07T04:30:51+00:00

Hamster at full effect here. She can't really believe this because all woman are social geniuses, right?

Male "friends" are a huge score for a woman. Yes, women are open with their female friends, but this has a huge downside. They have to listen to the other woman. With male friends, the emotional unloading is all one direction. The woman gets to be the focus.

Men are not tricked in the way she claims either. Men are misled to believe that you first become good friends before moving onto a romantic relationship, so they will foolishly follow this path in the hopes of a relationship. They don't mistake being an emotional tampon with romance.

In which she accidentally reveals a truth. If a woman sees you as a friend, romance is not on the table. Women move directly from strangers to romance. Romance is slang for hardcore sex.

Responsible-Insect96 · 2020-09-13T03:52:29+00:00

there are no emotional tampon's There are emotional teddy bear's. A woman will put a tampon inside of her for 7 or so day's.The guy she friend zones will never be inside of her

Captainbuttman · 2020-09-05T20:56:34+00:00