I'm 20 years old currently and I have to restrain my natural desire for wanting to become a mother. I think about having a baby alot. Obviously this does not mean that I want one rn but I have found that people nowadays are almost disgusted by the concept of a young woman bearing a child. My partner wants children by the time he is 30 or so - I will be 26 and fair enough i think that will give us time to lay down a foundation. Grow ourselves then to have growth in the relationship and to marry to raise the child in a stabilised environment to the best of which we could manage.
I have been dreaming about little patterings of baby toes, curls and the smell of baby powder. I really look forward to motherhood. However, I find it sad to recieve a mostly negative reaction from mothers as well.
I want children after marriage and that comes after I graduate from my degree. As me and my partner have agreed but until then a girl can day dream. I just think maybe our bodies and hormones may be suggesting that you're ready when you see a baby and your first reaction is to smile then crave its little touch. It's one of those things - as a traditional woman in the modern world I feel as though I must negotiate with the social pressure and ignore my biological wiring.
Thank you feminism. It is now low brow to be married and have a child at a young age. It is considered the less educated and less productive alternative- or for many women as I it is not even an alternative. There has been a removal of choice.
No one woman wants to welcome a child into the world whilst having her family and friends judge the choice as a waste of potential. And now men are less inclined to actively desire fatherhood and marriage because of the death of feminity in the culture and the collapse of respect in society for masculine responsibility bearing men.
I truly feel a loss and maybe many women will. Whilst I am holding off and fulfilling the status quo like a coward (as an agreement to my family members who wish for me to have independence rather than a family - a career which for me is more of a backup than a goal) I am losing eggs. My fear is imagine if holding off means difficulty in conceiving later on in life... I would of shot my own dreams in the head. Sorry ladies for the dramatisation but I feel truly alone in this. I have discussed this with my partner but he empathises with the situation. However, I feel as a man he does not understand. And women before would be each others crutches in the realm of womanhood and it is lonely. It is very lonely. I have no mother. I have feminist friends and family members. It is lonely and scary to not express these repressed anxieties. Thank you.
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