708,624 posts

33 Years of Marriage Wasted

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September 8, 2020
824 upvotes

Not my marriage of course - I don't want to get married especially after hearing about this situation. It's between the parents of a girl I've been dating for almost a year.

They have been married for over three decades. Conservative, traditional, Catholic family. They have four kids together. The father is a hardworking, respectable man; he literally built their house.

Recently the mother admitted that she has been cheating with another guy for a few years. The father handled everything very well; remained stoic, decided not to hold a grudge, and let her take as much time as she needed to get her shit together.

She eventually moved out of the family's house and in with her boyfriend. Now they're going through divorce proceedings, and it's as bad as TRPers claim. She wants money for half of the family's property (worth about $400k, so she would get ~ $200k). Plus she wants a portion of the father's retirement, which would cost a massive fee because he is not retirement age yet. Apparently she suggested that if the father cannot afford to pay up, he could "work it off."

Fucked up on so many levels. If there was any doubt in my mind before, I am now fully convinced that marriage is a sham.


Post Information
Title 33 Years of Marriage Wasted
Author thesatellite23
Upvotes 824
Comments 346
Date 08 September 2020 12:12 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/212626
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/iojash/33_years_of_marriage_wasted/
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Comments

[–]attack_bronson319 points320 points  (157 children) | Copy

Can she even come after him for money considering the infidelity?

[–]Keith_Valentine323 points324 points  (61 children) | Copy

It is completely unacceptable that some bitch can cheat on you and then expect to be entitled to ANY of your assets. Ever, in any way shape or form.

How in the name of black Jesus is this a thing?

What a disgusting, selfish woman. I wish bad things on her.

[–]ANGRY_ATHEIST94 points95 points  (11 children) | Copy

Watch Divorce, Inc. (edit: actually Divorce Corp)

Women didn't used to do this. This is 100% the attorneys' fault, and most of that "change" was led by greedy men. Lawyers would rob a man like this of $400k and keep $100k of it himself. These same lawyers lobby for family laws as well as fund the elections of the judges that rule on these cases. They do not allow juries for these types of decisions, the judge (who of course is buddies with all the lawyers who got him into office in the first place) has total power. So the lawyer gets $100k from this guy and then literally writes the judge a check as a "campaign contribution". It is literally that corrupt. What is supposed to be a sign and seal of everlasting commitment, has turned into something that gives women a financial incentive to break, and evil men the free reign to rob families of their life's savings.

Do. Not. Ever. Get. Married. There is absolutely nothing in it for a man.

[–]purduered10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Is it Divorce Inc., or Divorce Corp?

[–]ANGRY_ATHEIST10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is Divorce Corp, thank you for the correction.

[–]laredditcensorship9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Is your mind blown how people fall for same thing every year? Well. It shouldn't be. Because divided, singled out individuals has no chance against organized criminal entity; corporation.

Corporation is an approved scam & spy business. Their approval was obtained through manufactured consent. Corporation is not the industry of manufacturing products. Corporation is in the industry of manufacturing consent.

Free merch > Free speech.

Corporate, what kind of free manufactured merchandise must be in your goodie bag to consent investing into paradise?

We live in a pretend society.

[–]isaiahexe1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

what kinda drugs are you doin, friend?

[–]Keith_Valentine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I 100% believe this and will check it out. I know when I look at this shit, its designed to be fucked up.

Depressing .

[–]kalkisrevenge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is it better to be common law though ?

[–]Andorli-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Do. Not. Ever. Get. Married. There is absolutely nothing in it for a man.

Except maybe if you want to have family, children, continue your legacy and provide healthy and nurturing environment for the children to grow in, because you don't want child to grow in unhealthy conditions and have abandonment issues later on in life.

[–]ANGRY_ATHEIST0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You don't have to get legally married to do all that.

[–]Andorli0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't, but depending on the country you live in, thr cultural values you have and family bonds, sometimes marriage is just necessary. In the West yes you don't have to, in eastern countries with more traditional values, having children out of wedlock is considered wrong by society.

[–]GoFuclcYourself138 points139 points  (43 children) | Copy

BeCaUsE wOmEn ArE oPpReSsEd AnD nEeD eQuAlItY!

(They feel entitled to men and our livelihoods as if they earned it themselves. 2 biggest scams in the world today are Insurance and Marriage.)

[–]Keith_Valentine80 points81 points  (1 child) | Copy

It is brain melting a married woman can fuck another man then happily turn around and demand alimony and split assets. especially considering it sounds like she did not even work. And shes trying to chomp on his retirement , completely shameless, as if she really does not care if this man works himself into ab early grave. After all he has done. Imagine taking care of a woman, building your family a house to live in, and have her come at you like that.

Unbelievable. If one or the other cheats, man or woman, they forfeit any claim to the others personal assets. You cannot reward behavior like that. You would have to sit down and think of a way to deliberately fuck up more marriages than what that does right now.

Even if she doesnt cheat.. If a woman divorces you, why the fuck should you have to pay her?! If she wants to go on her own way, she should pay her own way. Thank god i stumbled on an old Elam video that explained this to me years ago.

[–]8PotPrimo28 points29 points  (17 children) | Copy

I'm surprised there isn't marriage insurance, tbh.

[–]Ramp_Up_Then_Dump36 points37 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it will be financialy too risky to make an insurence for man.

[–]GoFuclcYourself5 points6 points  (15 children) | Copy

It’s called a prenup. It’s insurance for men 😂

[–]Wilson-AOL7 points8 points  (14 children) | Copy

It is worthless because of 2 reasons:

  1. What you own before marriage, remains yours by default.
  2. What you gain and own during the marriage, it is split in half, no matter what. TL DR: during marriage, spouses must take care of each other. While you were hoarding your money for a property (mobile or non mobile), she takes care of bills, food, etc.

It is how it goes in my country.

[–]TheRiseAndFall0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Does anyone know if they can come for an LLC's earnings?

If you form an LLC before you get married and set up all of your assets like cars, investments and house under it, can your spouse come after those assets in a divorce?

[–]Wilson-AOL0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not sure. Best way to find out is to seek male lawyers and talk with them, basically a consult.

[–]GoFuclcYourself-1 points0 points  (11 children) | Copy

As I already previously explained that’s why it’s called a PREnup. It’s meant to protect us from gold diggers marrying us then almost immediately divorcing us and taking half our money.

[–]Wilson-AOL1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

No, you do not understand. Read again.

[–]GoFuclcYourself0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

No, you clearly do not understand...

[–]Wilson-AOL-1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy

Again, what you own BEFORE marriage, remains yours 100% and it is untouched in a divorce.

What you gain and own DURING the marriage, it is subject to divorce.

Again, how a prenup helps you?

[–]Endorsed ContributorWoujo13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

No women can get marital assets even if they cheat because most states have adopted "no fault" divorce. It sounds stupid, but no fault divorce has actually dramatically reduced the number of murders that occur as a result of divorce, so it is technically a superior policy.

[–]Ramp_Up_Then_Dump28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

In my country people can divorce at will but if one side cheats, this will put that side to disadvantage at court. This is the superior policy imo.

[–]coopdawgX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is true, but I would imagine that a judge is definitely going to look less favorably on the partner that cheats

[–]theguytheguy10000 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

how does it reduce murders?

[–]Endorsed ContributorWoujo2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

To be honest, I am not exactly sure. If I had to guess, I think it is because if there is not an equal distribution one party gets really angry and tries to kill the other, even if the parties did not deserve an equal distribution.

[–]superstar94b0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That is interesting. I think that more men will need to get legal advice to learn how to protect their assets. I'm 28 and just started an LLC. So, this obviously scares the shit out of me. We already have some funding and a decent valuation. The point is, if I work this hard and could lose half of this shit in marriage, I would lose my shit. I know that a prenup can mitigate some damage, but as someone else mentioned, they can come after what you earned after the marriage. What if the value of the company goes up after marriage? What if the company is acquire. There could be a lot of ways to get fucked in this scenario.

The moral of the story is men need to get smarted and protect their shit. I know that I will after this. I'm putting in 100 hours a week. I'll be damned if I lose half of what I earned to some bitch who cheated on me and does not work. Got me fucked up.

[–]livefreeofdie3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy

how insurance?

Marriage I agree.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I concur, can't complain about insurance so far (that said, the damages I was responsible for have been within reasonable limits - but I still got more out of it than I haid chipped in up until that point).

[–]Keith_Valentine4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I save a ton of money on car insurance by not having any.

Thats an old rez meme.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Considering that I got into two accidents within two years after buying my first car I saved a ton of (or rather: lost a lot less) money by having an insurance.

[–]superstar94b2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Health insurance in the US is a scam. For example, it's partially just funded by a tax subsidy (your employer can give the benefit but not pay taxes on it like wages, which is a "subsidy"). Secondly, many of the big insurers are protected by regulation and have limited competition. They're essentially allowed to run monopolies in the health insurance industry. The ACA made insurance more costly, so they get a nice government subsidy to keep their profits up.

I go on for days about how health insurance is a huge scam in the US. I worked in healthcare administration and insurance for a few years after college. It's fucked up. Other forms of insurance operate better though.

[–]livefreeofdie0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I meant in a sense that is there a hack or solution?

Marriage has become shit show so most people here agree they won't marry.

Health insurance is a scam but you need to get one. There is no hack or other solution. You can't pay cash.

Almost every company has become a monopoly in what they do in US. And I am aware of Health insurance companies practices.

But what can one do.

[–]superstar94b0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you notice, only government created monopolies (those that only have monopolies due to government policy, like insurance companies) can really scam people and charge high prices. For the most part, monopolies that don't have government assistance in becoming monopolies can't really change or prices are screw people over if they want to remain a monopoly.

[–]IterMercator0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's like saving up money incase of an accident, but when you want to use it, the bank can turn round and refuse to pay you it, and you lose all that saved up money.

Then you also got other dodgy stuff like how some policies (which are standard since it's almost monopoly in nature and places such as the UK, some insurances are mandatory) like how they punish you for actually using it (no claims bonus)

[–]Singledad69420-4 points-3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Why do you think insurance is a scam?

[–]beginner_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't bother. It's not a scam, mostly. It's simply people not understanding how it works. Yes, of course most people will loose money due to insurance. That's how it works. Many "loose" a bit so that someone unlucky doesn't have devastating consequences. It's up to you to decide for which scenarios insurance is reasonable and for which not.

Now in US as Health "insurance", yes that can probably be called a scam as everyone is overcharging everyone. The only realistic solution is to enter the scam via investing in such companies. It's disgusting but if you can't beat the system then at least profit from it.

[–]Giagle1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Insurance is not a scam. It cost something but on the other hand can safe you a lot of money. Not like marriage.

[–]GoFuclcYourself-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Insurance only exists because people are to stupid to earn and save money themselves in the event of an emergency. A person can be perfectly healthy and pay 💰 on insurance and never get out what they put in or you could be the safest driver in the world and never use any of the money you paid on the off chance. Why do you think insurance companies are so big, profitable, and have lavish offices with CEOs making millions? Because they are making a killing especially since you are more or less forced to have some form of insurance from some company. Insurance is basically a legal monopoly much like airlines or healthcare.

[–]Singledad694200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think the idea is to not take out insurance policies which you statistically wouldn't end up claiming for. If you live in a tornado risk area, house insurance would be worth it. If you're a learner driver, car insurance would be worth it. But as you get more experienced at driving, it gets less worth it. If you choose not to have car insurance, you should drive a cheap vehicle as well. But that doesn't make insurance isn't a scam like OP claimed

[–]meagainstthewaves39 points40 points  (0 children) | Copy

Adultery should be illegal, and the punishment should be severe.

[–]Wayfall3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Haven't you watched Liar Liar??

[–]hakeem152 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

upvote for black jesus lol

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I rode into town on an ass.

Yo' mama's ass!"

[–]samishii23127 points128 points  (28 children) | Copy

Depends greatly on the state. But I've rarely heard of stories where the cheating made a difference. Sometimes its worse.

Seems more and more like if you wanna marry someone. Sign a prenup.

[–]MAGAorD1E61 points62 points  (25 children) | Copy

I met with a lawyer to get a postnuptial agreement drafted up.

It makes no difference, if you live in a fault divorce State we can help you a little bit but not much. And you would have to prove the infidelity

Just get a postnup or prenup dropped it up and protect your 401k and your pension

[–]joshiemcswaggy40 points41 points  (6 children) | Copy

Gotta be careful, prenups can be overturnes if the girl says she was pressured to sign it

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]LandoChronus40 points41 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're thinking with logic. It doesn't matter if she was pressured or not. If she bats her eyes and tears up just a little the betas will grovel at her feet and decide you're a psychopath.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

How is "I won't marry you otherwise" blackmail, sorry, "pressure"?

[–]Just_Another_Wookie28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

If only I could stop paying rent because they're pressuring me to move out if I do so.

[–]that_star_wars_guy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's a nonsensical argument that can literally be applied to any situation in which you have to sign an agreement as a condition of the desired situation.

Why is it wrong for a man to put a condition on getting married?

Women expect a ring, why can't a man expect a signature?

[–]IterMercator0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Postnups are meant to fix that, but it doesn't help when they get thrown out for the same reason.

In the modern day women have no accountability, to which marriage no longer makes sense since any fault is the man's and any benefit is the woman's.

[–]CupioDissolvi33313 points14 points  (11 children) | Copy

Also, I think the UK courts don’t do prenups

What about if you just siphoned off your assets into some offshore jurisdiction (say, Russia, which I suspect wouldn’t listen to what the US courts have to say)?

[–]ILikeToBurnMoney18 points19 points  (9 children) | Copy

A trip to the Bahamas or Caymans could probably help you as well.

Hide your entire wealth there and take a trip to Las Vegas. Tell everyone you lost everything while high on blow in Vegas.

[–][deleted]  (8 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]twonomore6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is how it works - but I rather live in a cardboard box than stay married

[–]Anusunset2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I do believe prenups are only effective at the time of signing. Meaning after acquiring even more wealth, that wealth is up for grabs since prenups only protect everything at date of signing and prior. Not after.

I’m not a lawyer though. Not my specialty. If anyone can chime with experience I’d love to know.

[–]CacTye0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

This is untrue. You can negotiate basically anything in a prenup except child support, which has a certain minimum amount that is dictated by the non-custodial parents income. Anything else, including maintenance/alimony, and equitable distribution, can and are frequently negotiated in prenuptial agreements. That being said, if it judge believes that the agreement was not entered into freely and willingly, they can toss the whole thing out. That's why it's important that both spouses have their own lawyers that they pay for themselves.

Sauce: used to be a divorce attorney

[–]Anusunset0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Lol. What a shitfest.

The whole point is for that to protect you but it seems it’s more of a “negotiating” device than anything else.

What about co-habituation in Florida? Married without the governments intervention?

I don’t have much yet, but I sure as hell don’t want some women taking my years of hard work and tears just because she was living with me.

[–]CacTye0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Not familiar with Florida law. My understanding is that almost all states have done away with common law marriage, but to be double sure I would check with a Florida attorney.

[–]superstar94b0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm starting a business, so this is interesting. I could easily make a claim that I earned minimum wage and find "unofficial" ways to pay myself. I can classify myself as an unpaid intern as well if I really wanted to be dirty. My bigger concern would be the equity in my company. I'm sure the courts would ultimately give that bitch equity, which there's no way to hide. As you noted, if it comes down to "wealth", I'm assuming that would include any equity or ownership. Let's assume I sell the company and cash out and have no real earnings for the next 10 years. In that case I'd imagine that what I already earned and cashed on wouldn't be safe? Because if it was safe, I would love to use the excuse "yeah, I haven't worked in 10 years" and see that bitch get nothing.

[–]CupioDissolvi3332 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not if you fled the jurisdiction with the assets to avoid that ludicrous judgement

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]MAGAorD1E4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you get a $300 an hour lawyer it'll take about 10 hours for him to draft up a postnup for a guy that doesn't have a whole lot of assets

Because you have to actually itemize everything in your marriage that is not communal property that is just yours, and then you have to do your stocks for your 401k, and if you move your stocks around it can change it from sole property to communal property

It will also have to be updated every couple of years because the older you get the more stuff you're going to have

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]MAGAorD1E1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Smart man

[–]Dane500 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I got a post nup. Takes some of the stress out. She will get half if/when we divorce but no alimony. I’m in Florida. At 17 years of marriage the general rule is PERMANENT alimony. That means alimony until you are dead. Not retired. You could be 80 paying somebody 10k/mo that you divorced 30 years ago.

In many states women don’t get half. They get closer to 2/3 when all is said and done.

[–]surfsusa12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

The result of No Fault divorce laws

[–]omega_dawg9312 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

i bet you understand the antics of OJ Simpson a whole lot better now, huh?

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Knew a dude in NC that caught his old lady cheating. She didn't get shit, and when she threatened to go after his 401k, he threatened to sue the dude she was fucking for "Alienation of Affections" (an example). He walked away with a clean slate.

[–]fitnesspm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Of course the woman is never to blame! If women commit adultery, they shouldn't be allowed to get anything which is the case in some countries if someone commits adultery. You can even go to jail in others.

[–]PhiPaul21 points22 points  (50 children) | Copy

If each of them brought in equal amount of dollar, I see it fair that the property should be shared. That's a big if though. They could also separate via friendly talk and the fact that they contributed equally to the property remains unchanged.

But, usually the man works his ass off to put food on the table while the woman stays at home taking care of children - that means that she hardly brings any income.

I don't know what's the situation with her wanting and perhaps, getting his retirement money as I don't live in the US, but it does sound fucked up. If that were to happen to me, I would probably lose my shit and murder would be served on dinner.

[–]Keith_Valentine38 points39 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh my, you are new to the concept of divorce rape i take it?

[–]icepickjones23 points24 points  (47 children) | Copy

I got a divorce. She made more than me through most of our marriage, in the last 5 years I out paced her (I made 200k to her 150k).

Overall she contributed more to the overall marriage monetarily. When I was starting out in my career I didn't make shit, like 60k.

But we divided equally. I realize now I got off so lucky, but thankfully we split down the middle. Our 401ks were about equal so we didn't touch those. We just divided our savings up, sold the house, split all the money and went our own ways.

[–]GoFuclcYourself10 points11 points  (46 children) | Copy

What the hell do you do to earn 200k and can I do it too???

[–]mr4kino16 points17 points  (41 children) | Copy

Software engineering.

You can earn much more in fact.

[–]whitepanther17866 points7 points  (28 children) | Copy

How do you make so much doing that I am just getting started in that field. Any advice?

[–]mr4kino-1 points0 points  (27 children) | Copy

Yes of course, Where do you live first? Europe or US or somewhere else?

[–]mr4kino17 points18 points  (21 children) | Copy

In IT, you have to target big tech "startups". Meaning tries to avoid IBM and other legacy IT companies.

Also avoid small startups, they usually don't pay well and they can go down the drain pretty quickly (though you can learn a lot).

In other words concentrate on companies like Google, Facebook, Airbnb, Uber, Okta, Datadog, Microsoft, etc.

The question is, how do you enter those companies and get those crazy salaries where the guys are "geniuses"?

Very simple, almost no one is a genius (there are a few but those usually are the one who writes the books that you are learning from and are in the distinguished engineer position, etc). So how do the normal guys do? I will leave the referral, applying, and CVs part from this comment and consider you are going to the interviews.

Those tech companies they ALL test you on coding questions. This is for the initial position. In Senior positions, they add an interview or two for system design. All those tests are easily preparable. Just to go leetcode and try to solve medium issues in 30/40 minutes (with over a hundred solved), the hard one in one hour (try to do 20/30 of those). Obviously, start with the easy one first and move one. Once you are comfortable, you are ready for the initial positions (L3/L4 at Google). Yes, you only need leetcode and you are ready. That's how you have so many average guy working in those big tech companies (our Indian and Chinese brothers have understood this cheatcode VERY WELL)

For the system design, you need some experience but just get the "designing data-intensive applications" from Martin Klepmann and study it. You will be better than 99% of the people in the interviews.

Regarding salary negotiations, depends on where you live/work but keep those on top of your head for big tech companies in the valley: Software engineer L3/L4 at Google TC 150 to 200k (say 110k fixed, 50k shares each year for 4 years, and 20k of bonus per year). At Senior you should target 350k of TC. If you arrive at this level, all good, you can now study more and target the Staff and Senior Staff positions (500k/700k).

[–]surfbrobijan5 points6 points  (11 children) | Copy

This is awesome, ty. I'm thinking of a career transition as chemical engineering is just retarded at this point

[–]mr4kino4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Just do it. I was a mechanical engineer. What a career joke. Best decision in my life to switch to IT.

[–]DerangedDiphthong1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

What makes you say that chemical engineering is retarded?

I'm in the same boat, just with a job in controls automation instead of something actually with chemical engineering.

[–]Downtherabbitholelol1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is just so much full of shit I do not comprehend how people believe you.... I work in big telecom in a country which has a minimum legal salary 5times higher than what you get in the states, and nobody even remotely near to earning around 200k a year for programming. well enjoy your imaginary dollars mate. I do not believe you know how to code.

Looking at your profile seeing the pics of your broke ass pc setup and 40” tv screen “homecinema” says all we need to know

[–]rptastic0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

This is just so much full of shit I do not comprehend how people believe you

Well...This is really going to blow your mind...I wouldn't take a job that only pays $200K. (US). My base salary is more than that. With bonus, etc., I'm close to $300K, with stock, etc., It averages out to ~ $600K / year over the last 4.

You can believe or not, I don't really care. I'm not a 'programmer' or write much software day-to-day, but I'm in tech. I'm past my 20s, so this isn't something someone will get right out of school or switching careers, but it's real. I could probably land a better paying position, and will probably look at that in the next couple of years once stock has vested.

[–]will_del1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for writing this out. I can confirm the leetcode part, its on point. I am at junior level so can't talk about system design interview process.

At Senior you should target 350k of TC. If you arrive at this level, all good, you can now study more and target the Staff and Senior Staff positions (500k/700k).

I don't agree with this. To become more senior in a role at FAANG its mostly about knowing really well your codebase and the tech you are working on. Just studying a new book will not cut it.

[–]mr4kino1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Np mate! So you did well for yourself, well done.

Regarding the Staff and Senior Staff, definitely right and I would add some politics is also needed (+ being specialized in a field). That's in the "and target" but I didn't dwell on this cause when you are already at a senior position I assume you know how to target those roles.

[–]ispaidermaen1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. I am saving this comment

[–]ispaidermaen0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

So you don't need a Master's in comp sci for getting a job in it?

[–]Mrrpuss1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’d appreciate tips too! In the same boat. Getting started in the field via a boot camp. I live in the D.C. area. USA.

[–]mr4kino0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Look at my reply to the parent comment

[–]Mrrpuss1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you very much sir! Will keep the good karma going in your honor.

[–]whitepanther17861 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Canada first year of college in that program just started with Python two weeks ago.

[–]Neutral_User_Name1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would suggest you learn lower level languages, that's where the money is. Actually there is a resurgence in demand for Assembly, lol. You do not have to go that low... C, C++ and Objective-C are fine too! Have a read at The C Programming Language by Ritchie and Kernighan (the original OGs of C).

[–]superstar94b2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm 28 and am a software engineer. Recently started a company. And these stories are scaring me shitless about getting married for the reason you just mentioned. I'm earnings/know I will earn more money. Haven't made the mistake of getting married yet. Probably never will after reading this thread.

[–]mr4kino0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have a look at the mgtow subreddit if you really want to read about the divorce rape stories ;) Good thing on the company. Make that money flow.

[–]ILikeToBurnMoney1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Another way is starting an MBA at ~30, then joining an MBA position at a tech firm. $150,000 starting salary for these positions

[–]mr4kino6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Username checkout. This is burning money. You can get 150k as a junior in software engineering and without splashing the dollars.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Read the Personal MBA

$149,990 cheaper

[–]ILikeToBurnMoney0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The thing about an MBA is that it's mostly about networking and about having the title on your resume. Somehow, companies love hiring people with an MBA to lead the company.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You’re right to an extent although I saw an article today where some of the major companies are taking some of the importance away from these types of qualification

[–]GoFuclcYourself0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Every day that passes I believe more so I studied the wrong field 😭

[–]TheRiseAndFall0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

It depends on whether you studied it to make money or to do something you like. If you studied to be a vet because that is what drives you then you can be a vet and make enough to cover your expenses.

If you wanted to make money then tech is where it is right now. Especially in the medical field. But even more generically it is the place to be right now. We have come to the point that everything today is a computer. Your phone, car, watch, refrigerator, TV, and even maybe your bed has a built in computer that dwarfs the stuff that had been flying our spacecraft for the last 60 years.

The snowflakes get butthurt about the whole "learn to code" stuff but it is a good idea. Knowing how to code today is an essential skill.

[–]GoFuclcYourself0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Problem is when i was ‘told’ go to college I had no idea what to do. I had no guidance, no goals, nothing much. I didn’t particularly excel at anything over everyone else but I was always good with math so I studied business but I see how the job field pays an average of about 30k-65k a year and idk if I made the right choice honestly. I wish I could make lots of money and do what I love but it’s a rough time for starting out a small business.

[–]mr4kino0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What do you do in business exactly? You can be an account executive in one of the tech companies and your salary will explode to 200k.

I have a friend in Europe, account executive at Oracle, he is in a senior role, 35yo, 145k euros a year.

You can also have a pure sales role in a tech company. Couple of options, that once you know are available, you should make all the needed preparations to get hired.

[–]GoFuclcYourself0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m currently a full time book keeper for a company and I bring in roughly $30,000 a year before taxes...

I honestly have no idea what to expect in the field most of my professors were not very good and didn’t really leave much of an impression. I had a thirst to learn but I just never got the knowledge i needed. What does an account executive do? How do you work in sales? I haven’t a clue what they do besides make a fuckton of money. I’m confident though if I knew what exactly I was doing I could be making a lot but I just don’t have the experience or knowledge.

[–]Downtherabbitholelol2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

On reddit everybody is making atleast 200k per year. Do not believe the hype. There is actually less than 10% of the US pop who even earns 6 figures (that starts at low 100k) so do not be fooled by internet richs. Most of those earning around 275k a year will not be sitting on reddit

[–]rptastic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you play your cards right in tech, $200K isn't crazy. I've averaged over ~ $600K over the last 4 years and I'm here on Reddit.

I'm far from rich though. I look longingly at the $1M+ TC some of the more senior guys at some of the FAANGs get. Someday...

[–]IterMercator0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Also I've noticed most the ones who are earning bank, live in a place where the rent is nearly as high as their income, and the living costs are the remainder. It's the same game as a normal wage but with an extra zero

[–]laredditcensorship-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Scamming people in plain sight. That is how he can get 200k.

Is your mind blown how people fall for same thing every year? Well. It shouldn't be. Because divided, singled out individuals has no chance against organized criminal entity; corporation.

Corporation is an approved scam & spy business. Their approval was obtained through manufactured consent. Corporation is not the industry of manufacturing products. Corporation is in the industry of manufacturing consent.

Free merch > Free speech.

Corporate, what kind of free manufactured merchandise must be in your goodie bag to consent investing into paradise?

We live in a pretend society.

[–]TyranaSoreWristWreck3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some states have what's called no fault. Means you can't judge someone for cheating. Fucking bullshit really

[–]twonomore2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My divorce lawyer laughed at the idea. With enough money and years of litigation, it may be possible to have some impact on the result

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

How is this even a question? Cheating on your spouse has absolutely no impact on the distribution of assets in all but the most outlandish cases.

In 99.9% of cases here's the impact it will have on the judge.

"Huh... interesting. Did you turn in your bank statements and W2s?"

The only things that matter are whether its a community property state, whether you have a prenuptual agreement and how the judge is feeling that day about you.

[–]i4mn301 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It happened to Will Smith.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m like 99% sure In OK if the woman admits to it she doesn’t get anything, I believe child supports different though.

[–]trancedj0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. It’s called “no fault” divorce. And most, if not all, states follow it. It’s beyond fucked up.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Family Law is different in every state. No fault states don’t take notice of infidelity as a punitive measure for the other spouse.

[–]Returnofthemack30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In many states, yes unfortunately. No fault divorce is a bitch

[–]bernierbruh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Infidelity has zero bearing on divorce proceedings

[–]yomo860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No fault divorce only in the most extreme cases alimony is forfeit such as murder attempts.

[–]washerelastweek0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

of course she can. it's his fault. I'm sure he didn't treat her properly. too much time working etc - the usual stuff

[–]MrNeverDryDick88 points89 points  (99 children) | Copy

Curious. Any RPers that can give an argument FOR marriage? Bc I ain’t seeing shit but fuck all for potential benefits

[–]truest2255 points56 points  (1 child) | Copy

Unless you are a criminal and marriage would stop her testifying (she shouldn’t know details anyway), I really don’t see any

[–]yellowsquare19803 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She can still choose to testify if she wants to

[–]savageinthebox116 points117 points  (20 children) | Copy

I’ve been married 13 years, to a WAAAAYYYY better woman than the wife in this story, marriage still sucks.

[–]EEIET071839 points40 points  (16 children) | Copy

I'm sure that's what he thought 13 years in

[–]misls61 points62 points  (13 children) | Copy

Not really.

The signs are usually there. Pretty much in your face. Some people just are stupid.

[–]throwwayhubu41 points42 points  (1 child) | Copy

AWALT dude, the baseline behaviour is the same for every woman on the planet, there is no such thing as a "better" woman. The guys who look for a "good" woman end up exactly like this guy. As a single 31 year old man who is very open about not wanting an LTR, I get more offers from comitted girls than single girls and they are sneaky af. If a woman has a 3 bedroom appartment or more that she invites you to, you are the guy she is cheating with. If she has a weird schedule, you are the guy she is cheating with. Learned the hard way to stay away from that.

[–]Just_Another_Wookie14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was fucking a girl I met on craigslist (yes, I know) and only went to her place when the guy she "lived with" but "wasn't dating anymore" was at work. Once, at night, we were fucking in my car while he watched with binoculars. When she wanted to get more serious, I got the fuck out of Dodge.

Saw her on Tinder recently, she's married and in an open relationship.

Dodged that bullet.

[–]EEIET071813 points14 points  (10 children) | Copy

I very much doubt this guy who built his own home was stupid.

[–]misls48 points49 points  (6 children) | Copy

Right. Intelligence isn't a one-shot quality.

There are extremely rich tech pundits who are extremely shit with women and have to go marry some Filipino chick from overseas.

I would call those same tech pundits stupid in terms of women.

Your point doesn't make much sense here.

You can be smart in some factions of your life and then be absolutely stupid with dealing with relationships with women.

[–]mighty_object2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

lmao that's my boss right there :D

[–]IterMercator0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's all skills at the end of the day, most of us here started almost retarded in terms of women management, that's why we came here to learn. I wouldn't be surprised if OP's guy was stoic from tradition but never actually knew how to handle women (let alone a relationship).

[–]justgotalpha4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Brother in law is smart AF in pretty much everything except with women.... he is clueless and beta ... intelligence has nothing to do with how you manage relationships

[–]200_71 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well he got married, didn't he?

[–]savageinthebox1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe, I wouldn’t be surprised because AWALT and everything - I guess I mean to say; my wife hasn’t done anything like this to me in the 13 years we’ve been married and being married still sucks. It’s just not a fun experience. My wife isn’t a great wife, but she hasn’t been a fucking nightmare either. It just is t great being married.

[–]Merica911-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Keep in mind, it's not the OP situation. He's just telling the story from a far for clout on this sub. Who knows what beta energy this guy was displaying

[–]AntixD0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Care to elaborate?

[–]IterMercator0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Considering most TRP is turning the female-deciding-mates mentality on it's head, you would think people here would realise most marriages fail because the guy doesn't chose a woman who is good wife material (there's also marriage making people lazy, which is another common problem).

A guy I met once told me how when he dates, he will ask them to pay half the meal, not because he was poor or anything, but to essentially shit-test them to see if they are good partners. It opened my eyes when he said that

[–]icepickjones19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

I mean there are pros but the risks are incredible. What I've found is that anyone in here has big trust issues. You've been burned or have seen someone get burned bad enough that it's scary.

And it is. I was betrayed, luckily got out clean. I'm dating again, improving myself, lost weight, have a great job (even in the pandemic I'm still doing pretty good) but I doubt I'll ever get married again.

The risks are too great. The best case scenario isn't worth the worst case scenario imo.

[–]2Overkillengine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The best case scenario isn't worth the worst case scenario imo.

Some people are just nigh suicidally optimistic and only "see" the best case scenario.

Which is why the Russian Roulette analogy (or any other form of risk assessment) fails to compute for them.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Mother's didn't keep their daughters in line. Society at large did. And that's all gone now.

Women can be real asses to their children, but I've come to understand that a good measure of it is necessary or they just won't grow up.

[–]Westwood_142 points43 points  (37 children) | Copy

Yes. Almost all problems western society currently faces can be traced to the disintegration of the nuclear family. Building a family and raising children right is an honorable thing.

With the way things are right now, I don’t blame anyone who decides to simply enjoy the decline. But if you want to contribute to the solution instead of being a part of the problem, marriage is probably the best way to do it.

[–]Rakosnik13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

if you want to contribute to the solution instead of being a part of the problem, marriage is probably the best way to do it

you sound like a bitch hitting the wall already. i might marry once i see divorced and single mothers being kicked to the curbs of society. once i see society making it damn hard difficult for these bitches to divorce and rape the man. once i see society shaming bastards children out of wedlock. once the bitches realize what kind of hell and hard fucking work awaits them after the divorce. maybe then i will think about signing the contract.

[–]Keith_Valentine14 points15 points  (33 children) | Copy

Fuck marriage man. Thats like playing russian roulette. Even if you wana be ltr and raise kids , what does a ring and a piece of paper add to it? Compared to the risk

[–]DenverStud46 points47 points  (6 children) | Copy

There's a massive amount of investment that you're missing by reducing the agreement to, "a ring and a piece of paper." The concept of marriage, or even just a wedding ceremony, is that it is a deep cultural ritual that brings "all of your relations" together to sanctify (set apart, partitioning it from the ordinary) the event and proceedings.

A well done wedding creates a pressure cooker of sorts. It's an event that brings two lumps of coal together to form a diamond. Sure, by now you're thinking something like, what the fucking fuck is this guy even talking about?

Give me the respect to at least consider the possibility of rituals, (and the stories we make up about them), to have inordinate effects on us throughout time. Think of it like a positive trauma. It's a short lived event in spatial time that represents the culmination of a lot of signals, investment, and activity. It's a promise to the best of one's own abilities between their physical culture, and their internal being, that they are going to treat this other person like they would treat themselves. Two become one.

The cultural significance of the historical institution of of marriage may have to be my first submission to this sub. The ideal may be far from what people experience, and I judge that most people in the world have no idea what marriage, or even "having someone's back" truly means

[–]aweful_aweful34 points35 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is really well written, 100% true. I really had a light bulb go off when you mentioned bringing together all relations of each person. In all seriousness we used to have a beautiful culture.

But what you're missing is this institution was already destroyed in the late 70s maybe earlier or whatever when they brought in no fault divorce and made all these feminazi laws.

It's just another honorable, noble thing thats been ruined for western society. You can't pretend marriage in 2020 is in any way like the previous hundreds + years.

Whats going on now with divorce is so unjust to men. It's a bad idea. I don't know if I could hold my temper if betrayed and than have to give money to the cunt while she lives in my house with the guy she cheated on me with. I'd end up in jail, some injustice is just too great to restrain yourself from creating your own justice.

[–]baldymcgee9193 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she's bringing as much to the table or better, even more to the table, then why not? If you're wanting to get married you need to marry up. Even then you need to be aware of how it will likely go and take all necessary precautions.

[–]Westwood_18 points9 points  (23 children) | Copy

It’s definitely like playing Russian roulette. But it also is the only way to build a family while upholding traditional mores and norms. And despite what you see on here, marriage is a more durable relationship than a prolonged LTR—the majority of first time marriages still make it.

I’ll also point out that many states treat prolonged cohabitation the same way they treat marriage. You’ll definitely be in the hook for child support. You’ll also have to litigate a property split. And you’ll still end up in a “joint custody” situation with your girl as the primary caregiver. A non-marriage LTR really isn’t the genius loophole that some on here seem to believe.

[–]Keith_Valentine16 points17 points  (21 children) | Copy

The majority of marriages, of any kind, absolutely do Not make it. The divorce rate is at or above 50% for all marriages. Since corona lockdown started, the divorce rate for marriages under 5 years has spiked dramatically.

Bro who cares about traditional mores and norms? This is about covering your ass. You wana get more technical, some hardcore trp advocates not having children either, or cohabitating. So none of those points you think you are making mean shit to me. You yourself agree marriage is like russian roulette, then make a soft case for it anyways.

You wana get married and have kids, go play the game. But dont lie to yourself or others on here.

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam20 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy

The average length of marriage in North America is 6.5 years. 85% of all divorces are initiated by women as well as women pressuring the men to get married.

Those are fool's odds, would you get into an airplane with those kind of specs? Marriages for f****** chumps in 2020.

[–]Westwood_110 points11 points  (12 children) | Copy

First marriages and marriages are not the same thing. It makes sense that people who divorce are likely to marry again (and divorce again)—and that’s what the statics show. More than half of all marriages end in divorce, but only 40% of first time marriages end that way.

As I said earlier, I understand if you don’t want to build things up. It’s easier (and probably rational) to enjoy the decline. But if you want to participate in fixing society rather than playing a minor role in its hedonistic decay, marriage and a stable, traditional family is probably the best way to do it.

[–]mgtowalternate12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

More than half of al marriages end in divorce, but only 40% of first time marriages end that way.

imagine posting this like it's a good statistic, lmao

[–]Korrangar6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not taking into account people who stays in a very bad marriage for kids

[–]Westwood_1-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve admitted that marriage is an incredibly risky proposition from the very start. But I also not as bad as some here seem to think. It’s not the case that every person who marries will divorce, and in fact your chances are significantly better than 50/50 if you do choose to marry. That’s all I was saying

[–]Keith_Valentine0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

No its not.

You cite 40% of "new" marriages ending in divorce like thats good. Hahaha! What the fuck, thats still damn near a 1 in 2 chance to get divorced and thus divorce raped.

And then you are going to assume most of the 60% that stay together are actually happy, or have good sex lives and communication, or one or the other cheats but they stay together anyways.

When in reality married couples often get fat, bored of having sex with each other, and fight over dumb shit. Know how many married or ltr girls asses ive manhandled? Too many, that was old me. Hell no

I play my role in society, dont lecture me or try to force your values on people. Getting married and having a few brats doesnt make you anything. People that think like you are actively raising fucked up kids and 100% destroying society more than a man like me ever did.

[–]Hayekr3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

I play my role in society, dont lecture me or try to force your values on people.

You're posting on a discussion board, man. He made his points clearly and concisely (which is more than I can say for some people here). This kind of umbrage adds nothing to the conversation.

[–]Keith_Valentine-2 points-1 points  (6 children) | Copy

Hes saying that being married and having kids is the way to contribute to society and other people, like rp men, are adding to the decay with their hedonism.

That is the definition of him suggesting his values are superior, when in reality, people that are choosing the traditional route he is suggesting are often divorcing, suffering, and raising fucked up kids in broken homes. Doing infinitely more damage than me. I work hard, kick ass, and take care of business.

Try to actually understand the conversation before you butt in next time. Got that, fuckface? Did you take umbrage to that?

[–]Hayekr0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Oh man, it looks like I hurt his feelings. Sad. I've hit a point in my life where I start to read drivel like the above and I literally see incomprehensible gibberish. Just word vomit from a whining child. "gOt iT fUcK fAcE?". Ohhh man good one lmao. What's next? You're going to call me a cuck? Or a beta?

I'll also butt in where and when I want to, thanks. "dOnT LeCtUrE tO mE" lmao.

[–]Returnofthemack31 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah I don't get why tradcons continually trot out this point. In a culture and society that is hostile to marriage and monogamy in general, you're just encouraging men to offer their lives to be slaughtered on the altar of idealism. It's not noble, it's stupid

[–]Keith_Valentine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I dont even know why the fuck guys like that are here. Its fine they are but they always try to argue with TRP foundations they dont want to believe. Has to be called out , god forbid someone listen to that trash.

Talkin bout how stable marriage and kids helps society. Maybe sure, how often does that happen though? And how many dont make it and get ripped apart? Even families that stick together go through an emotional grinder in this world, you have to be really solid to make it through without being traumatized somehow.

[–]aweful_aweful1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maintain a separate residence boys.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]Keith_Valentine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thats a myth. Common law marriage isnt valid if both parties dont endorse it and only a small minority of states recognize it.

[–]IcarusKiki0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I doubt that. The nuclear family isn’t the natural state of society, tribes are. The nuclear family and the isolation of the family as well as the rise of consumerism after WW2 degenerated society. Families aren’t supposed to be an island, we’re supposed to have communities that hold each other up and regulate each other. Now capitalism has replaced that social structure that kept society in tact and life’s a rat race for the next bright and shiny thing.

[–]Westwood_10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You seem to be operating under the assumption that the natural state of man is the ideal one. I disagree with that premise.

It is a statistical certainty that children from stable, two-parent homes will outperform children raised under any other familial situation—including plenty of "village-to-raise-a-child" approaches that have been tried and failed. This advantage is so pronounced that it overcomes any other factor, including race and familial socio-economic status. In fact, a regression toward tribalism appears to be at the foundation of much of the social unrest the United States is currently experiencing.

Whatever advantages tribes provided in man's early development, it appears that western society does much better with families.

[–]CupioDissolvi3336 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

One argument I can think of is that you don’t do it for yourself. You do it: A) for the society B) for your kids

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

I got married before I really knew what the score was. I saw my dad go through divorce and frankly it was pretty amicable. One day a woman was living with us, the next some furniture was missing, and she wasn't there. So that was kind of my view of it. My mistake was not looking at all the variables, as the women who divorced my dad were for the most part the same economic bracket as him, and came into the marriages with assets also.

Now it's not a justification, but I see some definite advantages to raising kids in a nuclear family. We live in an affluent community, and for the most part there's other kids around like my kids, with the same family values. The kids that are trouble or kind of fucked up? Single mom kids, and blended family kids. You literally can predict how fucked up a kid is by how many baby-daddies his mom has.

Would I marry my wife if I knew what I know now? Nope. Would I get married again? Nope. Would I start a family and raise a family in a unit? Absolutely. My kids are great, and my oldest who is now a teenager is already showing signs of being a natural and not having blue-pilled fantasies about women.

Now I have some assets in life, and I've done some asset protection with it. I can still assure that my kids get the major benefit of that even if something happens to me now. I'm under no illusion that my wife is a snowflake. I've been clear to her that if she doesn't like the situation the door is always open. I always keep the divorce papers in the drawer and current. Would I loose a lot of money? Maybe, maybe not. But you have to keep an abundance mentality and this is the path I'm on. I know I can make it back.

My next door neighbor is 95 and in an end of life facility. He's got no kids, no wife and his house is falling apart slowly while they drain every last cent from him. I don't know what he wanted his legacy to be, but that's not what I want.

[–]MrNeverDryDick4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I would love kids and a family. But at my age I’m getting either a lot of single moms in my age or a lot of young 20-somethings who really don’t bring anything to the table other than their pussy. Figured I would’ve ran into one by now that I could see potential in. But I think time has moved on and it’s no longer an option for me.

I’ve played with the idea of going overseas to find one who gives at least a little bit of shit about marriage roles.

I’m not even saying they HAVE to cook and clean. But at least know HOW to cook and clean. And at least be pleasant to be around. So they’re not wondering why I’m only around to get the only thing they offer and then roll out. I just don’t see the point of putting my life at risk for pussy, especially if I’m still managing to get it as I get older.

Advice for a mid 30’s dude? I’m okay dying like that 95 year old as long as I’ve lived and experienced life the way I wanted. A legacy would be nice, yes, but I’m okay without it and I certainly haven’t been with a woman who could be a decent wife... or even someone I’d even WANT to spend prolonged time around.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was 30 when I got married, 35 when I had my first. Being an older dad has it's advantages. Frankly now that I'm approaching 50, I'd be perfectly ok being that dude who's got a 20 something wife and a new baby, because I've got shit together in my life like I never thought I would.

Advice for a mid 30’s dude? I’m okay dying like that 95 year old as long as I’ve lived and experienced life the way I wanted.

Build your life with your mission in mind. I'm not a family first guy, which sounds ironic, but it's true. My mission comes first, but my kids and wife support my mission. If they weren't here the mission would still be the same.

I have a great friend who's at the same age and spot as you. He's finding that the women that fit his exact need are just not quite there. Either 30 somethings with a hyper focus on career (one was a surgeon) or 30 somethings with baby-rabies. The thing is, he wants to sail around the world and those 30 somethings aren't willing to do that. So my advice to him is simple, don't deal with them. There maybe a 20 something in that cadre of applicants that actually fits the bill, you just have to increase your search range to find her.

A lot of young 20-somethings who really don’t bring anything to the table other than their pussy.

The thing about women is they tend to be the vessel. It's your job to fill it up. They will follow you to the ends of the earth if you are a good leader. You ever date a girl who instantly wanted to try things you did? My wife told me in one breath "I'll go scuba diving with you" and then said "Ohh the ocean freaks me out with all those creepy crawly things" Your accomplishments are her accomplishments. If you find a nice submissive girl who can be lead, she will willingly follow you on your adventures. You'll know she values you, when you hear your own words coming out of her mouth.

Redpill is amoral. There's nothing that says you have to be monogamous and settle down, but then again there's nothing that says you have to die spinning plates. Rule zero is what counts, you fill in the rest.

[–]ddelicia2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is worth it if you are marrying up

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I am living in a country with a hidden bachelor's tax, so there's that.

[–]theycallmenubs2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I consider myself in a successful marriage with a submissive traditional values kind of girl. Absolutely amazing mother. Marriage is a huge commitment that most people just cannot keep these days in our instant gratification, on to the next thing, kind of world. There are many advantages to marriage but also many risks, if I were to be suddenly single I may or may not get legally married again. Would have to vet a girl for years and even then it's no guarantee. I'd honestly say I got pretty lucky because I had no idea about red pill stuff before I got married, but I will say I've always had strong boundaries which likely helps. Throughout the entirety of our relationship my mindset has been "I'll do whatever I want, when I want" (within reason of course) and it seems to have held up, I'm not sure most women would allow that kind of freedom. I wonder how many guys on this sub are actually financially successful or will be in the future to even worry about divorce rape.

[–]aGodofmyownmaking0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think the boundaries you set are the key to a successful marriage. As long as the woman always feels the pressure of your independence, she will never want to leave. Congratulations on a successful marriage though! Despite most men on here souring on marriage, it still is a wonderful institution when done properly and its great to hear success stories.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She makes more than you and lets you do your own thing. Does as she's told, mostly. You have kids with her.

[–]4apalehorse2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

marriage would stop her testifying (she shouldn’t know details anyway), I really don’t see any

Don't marry a woman that isn't redpilled. My parents have happily 50 years. Neither of them are stupid.

[–]IterMercator2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Many autists here will act like an LTR is one of the worst things you can do, but some people don't want to be hedonists until they're 40 and still chatting up sluts in the club.

My girlfriend is religious, she's work orientated in a good career, and only wants commitment and to work hard in life. Part of that commitment is marriage and i'm fine with that, especially since I am planning to have kids with her so marriage doesn't really alter much when kids are involved. It makes her happy and i'm fine with it so there isn't really a reason no to do it, especially with tax benefits and such.

Overall you won't find much benefits for a guy to do marriage, there's no reason for a man to go out his way to marry an LTR unless she really wants to. But if you find a great girl, and act proper (constantly improving, don't get lazy, remain RP), and she wants marriage, then might as well.


Two biggest problems with TRP as a community and marriage is that the only interception between the two are either men who were already married and were BP, basically trying to sail a ship with holes in it already, or men who don't fully realise you don't chose the the sexiest bitch who can juggle your balls while giving you a blowie, but the one who is wife material and will be a good mother to your kids. Most of TRP meet these two types of men and then vilify most forms of LTR including marriage. This is why half the dudes on here are young adults trying to figure out the world, and the other half are old blokes still doing nightclub one night stands with no kids or long term goals

[–]MrNeverDryDick0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I appreciate the perspective. But as a guy who can see 40 on the horizon, I figured I would've met a woman who is wife material by now. Maybe I just got unlucky, or lucky, however you wanna put it, but I admit I may be labeling it sour grapes at this point. I do envy those in seemingly nice marriages. But I am aware of the risks, especially in this society even if the marriage is going good.

A lot of my friends I grew up with got married and divorced. Some good guys who don't see their kids as much and are starting over financially. And some stayed but are unhappy and strung out constantly. Then there's the rare ones who I can't personally see any issues in their marriage.

Right now I'm hitting that point where what I'm doing seems monotonous. Thanks to genetics, I can still pull young 20 somethings. But I am starting to look at myself as just another cog in a fucked up system. An aging one at that. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little bad about how I'm essentially adding to the problem.

I look back on previous LTR's and how I was thinking about marriage and how it turned out to be a waste of time for me in the end. Then I would get salty about all the pussy I could've gotten had I not gave my commitment away to my girlfriends. Then I go out and be single and enjoy single activities like ONS and it just jades me further.

I'm not sure what my reply was supposed to accomplish I guess I'm just venting because you gave me a perspective I used to have when I was younger and found girls I had thought at the time were wife material. Maybe I'm too selfish. Maybe I'm trying to make up for all the missed pussy in the past. Either way I see the marriage ship sailing away for me

[–]KingCrow274 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

My idea is to get married in spirit only. We can have the ceremony and all, but the only difference is that I would never legally marry anyone. Its just a really shitty system created by the government that signs a man's life away with great uncertainty and no ability to hold your spouse accountable.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[removed]

[–]KingCrow271 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only in certain states.

[–]OrpheusV1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly there's a tax advantage to it and I'm in a lower tax bracket (12% for the highest bracket vs 22%). We also bring in about 80K/yr anyways in a low CoL area, and for the kid we just had, it's more money back to us.

I guess some simpler legal conundrums too, the annoying aunt on my wife's side of the family can't try to claim my kid as her own. I say this because that batshittery happened once, so let's not allow a repeat. Pretty sure most of the family has already disavowed her for that one atop the other bullshit, my woman included.

(I guess you could also say it looks socially better, but that's a more abstract gain. May be an asset in a more conservative corporate setting if that's where you're at.)

That said, the latter can usually be resolved in court, so a big ring and some paper isn't really worth it. The risks do outweigh the rewards

[–]peppers19963 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

What if you want a family/kids?

[–]B_ILL15 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

Then have a family and kids. What does marriage have to do with it? Also if a women won't stay with you because you won't marry her she doesn't love you in the first place. Inb4 women are incapable of love.

[–]aweful_aweful8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Woman are incapable of...DAMNIT

[–]peppers19960 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Btw I got a permanent ban from FDS for posting this question.

[–]Mgtow_troaway3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

A commitment to be good parents and stay together and make it work has nothing to do with marriage in today's environment. You can easily be married without that commitment, you can easily be committed like that without marriage. So why be married?

[–]PoorBoysAmen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In 100% sincerity, find a woman who revolves her life around Jesus/God/Love (and has a deep understanding of it, not just superficial), and you will probably have a very fulfilling and peaceful life (but only if you are on-board with Christian ideals too). I just became what I call a reborn-Catholic. Following The Catholic doctrine Actually solves most of the classic Redpill issues with society imo. I took me over 10 years to understand the Faith though at a deep philosophical level.

[–]1Badshot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I recomend marriage to every man I hate.

[–]swimmingatlakecresva0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well if she was rich then everything that she would get if the finances were reversed would apply to you.

[–]DenyHerYourEssence0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There are only two reasons for a man to get married in present times (and neither is great:) 1) If you want to have children (the man doesn’t really benefit, but children have the best upbringing when they are raised by married parents, so it’s best for the kids.) 2) If you are extremely religious and you can only have guilt-free sex if you are married. That’s it. Men get nothing else from marriage. Any other reason will describe a benefit to the woman.

If a woman ever gets after you over your reluctance regarding marriage, just ask her what the man gets post-marriage that he didn’t have pre-marriage. You’ll be waiting a long time for an legitimate answer...

[–]Think4Yoself144 points145 points  (4 children) | Copy

My grandma is the one who Redpilled me more than any other person, article, video, or personal experience.

My grandfather was born so far below the poverty line he couldn't even see it. He was in the Army during Korea and spent the next ~40 years working a manual labor job on the railroad. He placed his family firmly in the middle class through sheer force of will.

When his health started going my grandmother made his life absolute hell. She brought up affairs that he allegedly had 60+ years ago that sound suspiciously like the affairs some in laws were involved with even claiming that my dad has a bastard sibling out there somewhere. Nobody has ever confirmed the affair or found the alleged sibling. She even complained about the cost of the assisted living facility he was moved into after a hospitalization where he lived until the end.

After he passed, my father and both his sisters gave eulogies at his service. After we left my grandmother rode with my family to a big lunch for people who attended the service. We stopped on the way and my parents weren't in the car only my brother and I. Then we hear, completely unprovoked "I don't know who that great man was they were talking about. I don't know any man like that." That was the moment that pushed me over the edge. My grandmother never worked a day in her life. Everything she has, he provided. Everything.

Guess who lives in that assisted living facility that was too damn expensive for my grandfather now?

[–]GoFuclcYourself83 points84 points  (0 children) | Copy

Truly terrible how women take advantage of good men then wonder where all the good men are...

[–]Rakosnik42 points43 points  (2 children) | Copy

did you tell your grandmother that she is an ungrateful entitled bitch? I would have.

[–]Think4Yoself51 points52 points  (1 child) | Copy

I did not. If it happened tomorrow then I definitely would, but this was several years ago and I wasn't ready to hear such a harsh truth and couldn't fathom what I had just heard. I do remember isolating myself for the rest of the day and just working through the thoughts that I had in response, especially because this was what I had previously considered a successful marriage. They were married well over 60 years and she literally said it in the car not ten minutes after we left his memorial service. That was the day I decided I was never getting married, so yeah, thanks for that grandma.

[–]Rakosnik21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

i can imagine the mental hit right there man. it takes a while to swollow i know. so grandma being her true self red pilled you. hilarious if it wasnt so sad for your grandpa.

[–]YogiTy198854 points55 points  (7 children) | Copy

How can that be if she was the one who cheated? That’s absolutely bollocks that this bitch can cheat and still get what she’s asking for.

A former coworker of mine has to pay his ex wife $1100 every two weeks. He’s been paying her for over 8 years now and he always mentions how 5 days of his life every week are spent making money for his ex wife. Nuts.

[–]thoughtlow53 points54 points  (0 children) | Copy

sounds like slavery with extra steps

[–]yvngmysterious136 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

When will he be able to stop paying her 2200/monthly?

[–]YogiTy19884 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

He said if she got remarried, the payments would end. He’s hired a private eye recently to try and prove that she’s cheating the system. According to my friend, she’s been in a relationship with the same guy for over 5 years now. They live together and his kids all know him well, etc.

[–]yvngmysterious130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That’s some bs, when will they go to court and say what she’s doing?

[–]2Overkillengine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When he becomes more willing to go to jail than to pay.

[–]trollreign9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

You guys should read up on no-fault divorce laws. Cheating - or any other non-criminal but unacceptable behaviour on her part - is simply not a factor.

[–]MikeTyson914 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

How can that be if she was the one who cheated?

The good ole days when that mattered are gone, my friend.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil42 points43 points  (5 children) | Copy

I think you are missing the larger more important point that all of the legal incentives that contributed to the end of this marriage were created on purpose by think tanks like the Rand Corporation, to destroy the nuclear family and replace it with the state.

Effectively what you have is a weapon in the form of a legal instrument placed in the hands of every married woman, by a state which wants to abolish fathers and husband's authority over their wives and families.

[–]theguytheguy10001 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

to what end, what are they trying to achieve by abolishing fathers and their authority.

whats the goal?

genuinely want to hear your thoughts on this,

[–]TheBadGoy5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The murder of the king is an ancient ritual, its purpose is too spread his power among the oligarchy and to bring about chaos. You can see many examples throughout history, Jesus Christ, King Louis, Tsar Nicholas, JFK, Saddam Hussein, Gaddafi. The king is the patriarch, the father, the one that establishes order, by eliminating the father figure The Illumined Ones summon the chaos they desire in order to achieve their goals.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh so your trying to follow the white rabbit?

🐰

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]FeniZio9475 points76 points  (26 children) | Copy

I’m currently seeing a MILF that was married for a similar time

She “suddenly grew up to be a different person” and the “wholesome mother” is having a midlife crisis moment lol

Always gotta vet properly.... because you never know when these hoes will cash in

[–]ManthanDhabriya63 points64 points  (15 children) | Copy

Sadly enough, no amount of vetting can do that.

[–]FeniZio947 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

There are ways... but it requires some very crude and objective observations

[–]trele_morele42 points43 points  (4 children) | Copy

The thing is even if you vet as much as possible, a woman's mind can always change down the road. You can't predict that

[–]FeniZio943 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

True in most cases it’s too unpredictable, honestly even at 27+ it’s just not worth it anymore

[–]FSA-Got-Aleppo5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just grow your worth and enjoy your freedom

[–]mexipill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Specially when our whole culture seems to revolve around women in power.

[–]GoFuclcYourself2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Know what the difference is between women and the weather? We can at least predict the weathers patterns for a few days out and usually be correct.

[–]negdawin0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Guys that have a lot of experience with women (i.e. notch count of like 30+) can usually pick a good girl, from what I've seen.

You get a good feeling for which girls are completely under your spell, and which girls are not.

I know some girls are very good at acting like they're really into you... but you can sense the truth once you hang out with them for a while.

It's one of the perks of being a PUA, get a lot of real experience with different types of women.

[–]FeniZio943 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

You never know

It does help to never portray yourself as a potential partner

[–]negdawin1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

You can have a fairly accurate guess. There are signs, if you look for it. E.g. is she actually investing in you and fully in your frame?

And if you never portray yourself as a potential partner, you will miss out on a lot of good girls who would have loved to date you.

[–]theycallmedumdum0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I think he means an actual partner like ltr or whatever

[–]negdawin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah that's what I'm talking about as well. It's not 100% accurate of course but can get a pretty good idea.

[–]FeniZio940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah that’s why I started reading on psychology.

At first I realized the similarities between some crazy hoes I’ve met in my life and some of the most religious wholesome women I’ve met... even though they both had different environments, both had similar behavioral patterns. In the end they were both sluts

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

150+

Experienced in age as well as women. It’s simply not true, people change over the course of time, it’s not a predictable variable

[–]negdawin0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don't know how your perception skills can be so shit with that much experience. I can tell for myself pretty accurately

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you’re so perceptive why the f*** are you on here

My bad mods, I edited the swear word, sorry

[–]1426kils24 points25 points  (6 children) | Copy

Women are so illogical you cant vet for these robotic changes

[–]FeniZio9418 points19 points  (5 children) | Copy

True tho... not gonna lie some of the “wholesome” mother figures I’ve met turned out to be the craziest hoes ever

[–]BurningOrangeHeaven20 points21 points  (4 children) | Copy

It because they percieve others to be doing xyz and all this crazy shit that they feel like they missing out on. If she has 4 friends and they all do 1 crazy thing that year, shes going to feel like she missed out on all 4 things. So when they let loose its hoeing to the max.

Atleast thats been what i have seen.

[–]aweful_aweful12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

100% good description of an effect I've noticed as well.

I'll go a step further and say if your girl cheats, there's a very very good chance she has a friend or friends who encouraged her to do it.

[–]FeniZio945 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah I’ve noticed the pattern too, it does repeat a lot in women that get socialized to start hoeing around... it even gives rise to question about women that show themselves and innocent (and might act like it) but will definitely start slutting it up once their friends get to her

[–]BurningOrangeHeaven15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

The south asian arranged marriage process gets shit on but imo the key point of "you arent just marrying the girl, you are marrying her family" and less so her friends too, has a lot of truth to it. All of those relationships will connect and weigh long term on your own.

A nice girl with hoe friends will eventually get drawn into their world where there is an excuse for everything.

[–]FeniZio949 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very true. Looking at immediate surroundings can aid you in seeing how her perception can be

“You are the average of 5 of your friends” and ofc the family reference...

It’s crazy because I’ve met women with low N counts and relatively stable relationships, that the second they broke out of it they became raging whores (due to extrinsic motivators such as hoe friends).

It really does leave you thinking of ways to spot these factors early on

[–]Mgtow_troaway13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Vetting is a meme, you can reduce some risk factors for sure but the root of femininity is whim based. She cheats one moment and loves you the next, then cheats again, then loves you again. They're manipulated by whims, they retcon history for the whim, the future is redesigned for the whim, and either you manage her whim dynamics, and corral her into the role of a wife and mother, or eventually the roll of the dice will come up "infidelity" for you.

Up to you if it's worth it.

[–]GunnerIronPile2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Suddenly....heh... You must be her first affair..

They all say that

[–]FeniZio941 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol oh of course... I learned that the hard way in college, that’s why I don’t have the slightest bit of mercy when questioning a woman’s loyalty...

[–]TeddyMGTOW20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

The guy is gonna get a financial "hair cut "

But he still needs to hire a lawyer.

And yes, if your on the TRP forum marriage is a scam.

[–]NabroleonBonaparte42 points43 points  (0 children) | Copy

Question: how wealthy is the guy from the affair?

She’s probably trying to grab as much cash on the way out as possible because the affair partner is strictly Alpha Fux material with no money.

She’s trying to get her Ex-husband to fund her monkey-branch sport fuck. Affair partner could possibly be persuading her because he’s trying to cash out off her.

[–]throwitdownman41 points42 points  (8 children) | Copy

Women are suppressed. Just kidding. Also, isn’t the richest woman in the world is Jeff Bezo’s divorced wife?

I can’t see how divorce law is fair. Think about how much Jeff Bezos’ wife was rewarded for simply existing. What she ‘did’ was ridiculously disproportionate to the rewards she got.

[–]GoFuclcYourself46 points47 points  (5 children) | Copy

‘Behind every successful man is a woman just waiting to steal half his assets.’

[–]throwitdownman7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ironically, where are all the ‘you go girl’ feminists supporting Jeff Bezos’ widow? Almost every women on TV, online, and in person are unhappy that she is now the richest. Women can’t help but be bitter since they always compare themselves to each other.

Further proving the point that women haven’t a clue what they want. They literally just feelz their way through life, and somehow the sympathetic divorce courts is on their side.

[–]GoFuclcYourself3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

People can’t help but be salty when all you gotta do is divorce your successful and wealthy husband to become one of the richest women in the world...

[–]throwitdownman2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The funny thing is, the system IS the way it is because women cried about abandonment. Hence, divorce laws are heavily skewed, she used that to her advantage. Now, women are crying about how using the system they bitched for is unfair.

It’s like introducing TRP to a friend, and he gets laid, then you get salty. Women are literally children. You just can’t please that crowd. Its shocking how the legal system is the way it is.

[–]GoFuclcYourself0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Amen brother. Women are all just crazy and we’re crazier for still wanting them...

[–]BitchesBrew_MF1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most of society and not just women are operating under the guise of let the feelz carry them through life.

[–]SlickBlackCadillac0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My theory on the Jeff Bezos situation is that by getting divorced and giving half his assets to his wife, his wife is allowed to sell the shares of Amazon without reporting it to the SEC. I think they may be working together in this. Let me know if this SEC theory is bullshit.

[–]throwitdownman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cool theory bro, but no, pretty sure she screwed him over.

People who trade a large amount of shares at once have to disclose to the SEC by filling out a form. So, she will have to report it regardless. Plus, under your theory they will be committing securities fraud.

[–]Riddick_15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dr. Dre's wife of 25 years is divorcing him just about now. Asking for 2 million a MONTH! 2 Mil a month ... that's over 50K per day. To be precise 66666 dollars / day. And she's probably gonna get it. Maybe not 2 mil, but 1 mil. / month after lawyers dance him around the court for a bit. Think about it.

[–]pehsxten5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

She needs 900k per month for entertainment 😂

[–]Riddick_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You forgot the midget , cook, driver, pool boys and body guard. Still beta bucks Jeffy Bezos paid the most. 1 Mil a month looks like just about covers the bills

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]saruin4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Even without assets, just either partner with bad credit is a deal breaker. Glad I learned this before being RP'd.

[–]ChrimsonChin9884 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Meh just buy your own place and if you want to move in together have her pay you some rent. Don't really see how that could ever go as drastically wrong as the stories above...

[–]jlenoconel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know someone that's cheating on her husband and eventually left him and I hope he cleans her out. She's basically the one with money but she deserves what she gets honestly.

[–]ChrimsonChin98811 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Marriage is a fantasy for naive child-men/women.

To believe the 'together forever' narrative proves that you've never looked at reality ONCE. People die, people cheat, people lose their jobs etc etc. There is not a single thing you can hold onto 'forever'. Everything that has a beginning has a middle and an end. Stop living like an android and copying blindly shit see, think and observe for yourself and only be content with conclusions you can't seem to 'knock over'.

Marriage is nothing more than making promises you can't possibly know for sure you can keep, which of course, is really fucking dumb. But some (most) people rather live in fantasy world. Just wait until reality hits you in the fucking mouth, if you're lucky you wake up the first time.

[–]Chemical_Cat_69420 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

There is this famous line when people get married: "Till death do us part." When you suggest that people who believe in marriage haven't considered death, it is you who is ignoring reality.

Fidelity is an idea. If you believe that all ideas end, then it should follow that your own idea will end, and you have contradicted yourself. As you mock the idea of promises, you create a declaration on how to think or behave, which is in itself a promise you do not know if you can keep. By your own logic, you have done something "really fucking dumb".

Don't take that to mean I approve of marriage. I merely disapprove your logic.

[–]iwbbty1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

because he said:

There is not a single thing you can hold onto 'forever'.

you're saying:

(fidelity(things don't last forever) == true) && (fidelity ∈ idea == true) && (idea ∈ things == true)  

is a contradiction, which it is.

But, this is a case of logical interpretation gone too far IMO. He's main point is the fact that love/partnership is a fickle thing, and thus promises made upon such unstable grounds is dumb. I feel like you're interpretation is a tad bit too literal.

What do you think?

[–]ChrimsonChin9880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You misunderstood me lol. I mentioned death, people cheating and losing their jobs because life is fucking rough. Nothing lasts, everything is in constant flux. Therefore, the idea of marriage in the context of 'till death do us apart' is completely ridiculous and unrealistic. Relationships last as long as there are common goals and the wind is blowing in the right direction. But people change all the time, especially when they're young. So the odds of sticking together (and being happy) from 25 to old age are slim to none from my perspective.

[–]SavvyVolley611 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only way is no way, gents. Never sign a contract with a woman.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Plus she wants a portion of the father's retirement, which would cost a massive fee because he is not retirement age yet.

That should not incur a fee for early withdrawal, as it will be the subject of a QDRO - a "qualified domestic relations order." That's the simple explanation - there is some technical ERISA bullshit involved - but if we're talking 401k and (usually) IRA, then yeah.

Ofc, he will get screwed out of half of it, plus or minus.

[–]SteveSan8210 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women don’t really have beliefs. They just use church to meet men and network

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]macrian5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

All it takes is just one bad day

[–]ChrimsonChin9885 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't agree. Even if people manage to piss their entire life away 'in one day' there were many days leading up to that one day they could've gone down another road.

People don't cheat, get married, rob a bank or kill someone out of the blue..

[–]GoFuclcYourself8 points9 points  (8 children) | Copy

This is why:

Rule 1: NO MARRIAGE

Rule 2: If you break rule 1 ALWAYS get a prenup signed and notarized. If she refuses kick her to the curb to ruin some other mans life.

[–]_that_dam_baka_2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

We have equality now. It's just hard for men to marry rich women. Adele's husband should start a Master Class.

[–]GoFuclcYourself2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

It’s a general rule that it’s harder for a man to get a woman than the reverse, so imagine the difficulty level trying to land a trophy wife...you’d have to be higher than a perfect 10.

[–]_that_dam_baka_0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Plastic surgery. Once she's in, she's in.

[–]GoFuclcYourself1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you get plastic surgery are you truly a man though? 🤔

[–]_that_dam_baka_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

South Korea would like to know your location.

[–]trollreign2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

A prenup is worthless in most jurisdictions if you get most of your assets while already married.

[–]GoFuclcYourself0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That’s why it’s called a PREnup. So people already successful don’t get completely screwed by gold diggers. Still gotta be careful if you give a ring to a hole.

[–]BitchesBrew_MF0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That’s why you also do a POSTnup (If you can) which is a supplement to the PREnup after the marriage begins

[–]sgtm76 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends on the state(or the country) you are married in. I have been married more than once. Until the last marriage, I didn't have anything to take. For my last marriage, all my property was owned before marriage, so wasn't considered marital property in my state. My last wife only got what I chose to give her(which was the mini-van). My state, also doesn't award alimony unless the spouse is mentally or physically incapable of working and earning enough to take care of themselves. In fact, until the late 90s, they didn't have alimony at all.

So deciding whether to get married or not, can definitely be influenced by your age, situation in life, and location. I haven't lived in the USA since 2007, and if I ever get married again, it won't be in the USA. It will be in one of the countries I have lived in since I started working overseas, that don't have the punitive divorce laws(punitive towards men) that the US has.

[–]Thoth_X6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

The woman men see when marrying is never the same as the woman men see in divorce court. Its still the same woman though.

[–]SlickBlackCadillac6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

If a bitch did that to me I would kill her. This is why I'm not getting married

[–]DKN310 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

I will make a hex on that bitch, remind me in 15-30 days, mark my fucking words

[–]Birelan4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Or make something for the guy so he does not get too screwed over.

[–]DKN32 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That will also can be achieved

[–]pigs1n5p4c35 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

As a guy that was married 19 years and wound up paying approximately 500k over the next 10 YEARS in settlement of assets and child support TO A WOMAN THAT WAS PORKING A NEIGHBOR embrace this shit. Do not marry. Do not cohabitate in a common law area. Protect yourself. You can get a vasectomy for less than the cost of one months child support for one child. It is what it is.

[–]CochinoChingon4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reminds me of a friend of my father's, though he went scorched Earth.

In the early/mid 90s a homeless guy would come to our house and have dinner with us, when he left he'd take two large trash bags full of aluminum cans. I asked my father when he made friends with a homeless man. He said, "I didn't, I'm friends with a NASA engineer"

I was confused, and I asked him, ok, why are you friends with a homeless NASA engineer. He asked if I remember "that broad" that brought her boyfriend to the garage one day.

It was fuzzy but I did recall year back a female coming to my father's garage with a younger guy. She came over, young guy in tow and demanded that {NASA guy} come out, "whatever you have to say to me you can say it in front of them"

Broad "I'm taking you back to court in 6 weeks, I heard you got a raise and you're gonna buy (boyfriend's name I don't recall) a new Harley so he can take me out on rides."

after a very long and uncomfortable pause

NASA "OK"

Broad .... "Well ok then" she leaves.

OK, so what about NASA guy? My father then tells me that the next day he put in his two weeks notice, NASA offered him more money, he turned it down. Then sold EVERYTHING he owned and what didn't sell went in the trash or Goodwill. The guy bought a 4 Plex property, put it in my father's name, set up college funds for his kids and walked off into the sunset.

The money from the 4 Plex is what/how the college fund was funded. My father was allowed to keep the cost for himself for "setting it up" he never went into detail of what it entailed.

Is 2009 I found out that the guy moved into one of the units of the 4 Plex. The property is still in my father's name (even though he passed away in 2011) and now the guy is collecting the money. He still owes the wife back alimony, (he only paid child support) and since he hasn't had a job since the late 80s there's no way to garnish his wages.

[–]vrsatillx6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

When I read shit like this it makes me realise how lucky I am to know these things at age 21. If I learned it only after having waste 33 years of my life I would probably kill myself

[–]Rakosnik3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

no single pussy is worth it

[–]Neutral_User_Name2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Marriage became a sham in the 1960's, with the advent of a) the Pill, who shifted towards women most of power with regards to reproduction (which I am fine with, more details below) and b) the nanny state, who de facto became the garranteed back-up husband / provider, which allowed women to jeopordize the most important contract of our society, marriage, with little to no consequences.

As mentioned above, those 2 developement marked a significant shift in power towards women, which we have no choice but to recognize as a "fait accompli", in our civilized society.

However, the problem arose when no efforts (as for all intents, zero) have been made to modify the dynamics of powers in the most important contract of society, which afforded women the possibility to firmly latch on to the one of two tits of their choosing, either the husband or the state, with 100% reliability for the latter.

That's precisely why the "most important institution of society" is 100% doomed to irrelevancy in the long term, as in its current form, it overly advantages women, with little or nothing to gain in it for men. The trend has already been set since the beginning of the 1980's and there is seemingly nothing to stop it. Men are starting to wise up by not engaging in this raw deal, and women are coming to accept the situation, as they they can faithfully count on the most reliable tit in human history: the State.

The only way marriage could stay as an institution, is if there was a redistribution of power in that contract that prevented men (mostly) from being divorce-raped.

[–]BitchesBrew_MF0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Men are starting to wise up but many are still putting that dumb ring around their finger. Hopefully the COVID pandemic has brought to light for a lot of single men the amplified shortcomings of married men during this pandemic and convinces the currently unwed men to stay that way.

[–]HologramEventHorizon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Many, many misconceptions on this page. I practice family law in Virginia, so my comments will be state-specific - so check your own state laws for specifics.

First misconception. "No-fault" means that the offending spouse takes half the property and gets support. Not true. "No fault" means that you can get THE DIVORCE without having to prove fault - you have to prove simply a period of separation. Fault (cruelty, desertion, adultery) does not come into play in getting the marriage terminated. But that does not mean fault is not considered in support matters and property division.

Second misconception: Judges, in determining spousal support and equitable distribution (division of property), are specifically directed by statute to consider the fault of adultery. Virginia has the "adultery bar"; that is, if a spouse is guilty of adultery, then the offending spouse is BARRED from receiving spousal support. I have represented women in LONG TERM marriages (20 years or more) who stayed home at the behest of the husband to take care of the home/kids; and then be barred from receiving spousal support because husband proved that she committed adultery. The only way to overcome the bar is to prove that barring spousal support would constitute a "manifest injustice," considering the respective degrees of fault and the economic disparities between the parties. So, adultery can have catastrophic consequences for an offending spouse seeking spousal support.

Third misconception: adultery does not affect property division. Virginia is an equitable distribution state, not a community property state. CP states are COMPLETELY different. In Virginia, fault by an offending spouse (particularly the fault of adultery) is one of 13 factors that the judge can take into account in fashioning an equitable distribution award. In the situation presented here, while I doubt the wife's adultery would keep her from getting SOME equitable distribution award, the judge would take it into account in determining what percentage of marital property (35% or 40% down from 50%) the wife would get. The judge would also be solicitous of husband's pension.

In my practice, the bottom line is this. Divorce statutes and the appellate courts do their best to lay down as many rules as possible, but, in the end, in a divorce case, SO MUCH is left up to the judge's discretion that it s a scary proposition to litigate. On the same set of facts, some judge greatly perturbed by adultery would hammer the offending spouse; while other judges would be much more lenient in their spousal support and equitable distribution awards.

There is only ONE WAY to eliminate the financial uncertainty that a divorce might bring: GET A PRENUP.

One final comment: this article says this is what the wife is ASKING for. I always tell my clients when they ask if they will get support: "Spousal support is like a blowjob. You can ask for it all day long. Doesn't mean you're gonna get it."

[–]TripleMaxor22 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Females man, never trust them more than you have to. Doesn't matter how kind and generous or hardworking you are for them, they still cheat and in a heartbeat with no remorse or regrets. Marriage my as*.

[–]disgruntledearthling2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was common-law for 28 years. No infidelity but no sex either. So glad to have gotten out. Now I spend my time fucking 20yos for fun

[–]Domebeers2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

if you are not able to give your woman the pimp hand, marriage is not for you

[–]mgtowthroww2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The guy is lucky she didn't walk into a police station and claim rape. Many wives claim rape against their husbands. That way the get "exclusive possession of the matrimonial house". Yup. Happened to me.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucked up on so many levels. If there was any doubt in my mind before, I am now fully convinced that marriage is a sham.

Marriage is not a sham, it fulfills its purpose perfectly: to make men provide financial security to women.

[–]geozstevenzz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The solution seems simple here. Refuse to sign the divorce papers. Can't pay if ur not divorced

[–]Sizzlecheeks1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So the law literally rewards her for infidelity.

[–]DonJuan_691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The sad part is that prenups dont even work anymore. Most judges just rip the prenup in half right infront of ya

[–]voomer531 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You want a real horror story google Chanin Denice Starbuck...this princess had children by other men that she was passing off as her husband's, then making him pay support for them after she divorced him, of course all the time with her riding the CC bigtime. All her sexual transgressions were inadmissible in court.

[–]throwlaja1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

33 years of marriage wasted

It's not wasted. It's like when you sell an old car, you didn't "waste" 10 years of your old car. You enjoyed it, now its time to switch to a newer model.

This is like selling an old car except you have to pay for it to go away.

[–]zino1931 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

RIP Chaddington - he thought he was just getting some easy puss and now he has a live in divorcee.

[–]_Zaacki_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, if I hadn't ruled out marriage as a possibility before, I sure as hell have now....

[–]dkod0660 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I will never ever marry someone without a prenup.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sorry if I sound like an idiot but would this happen if they both made the same about of money or if she made more money? I know that if a couple lives traditionally (husband works; wife stays home) the husband has to pay up so the wife can have the same lifestyle after the divorce

[–]_that_dam_baka_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No. They're splitting assets. He just happened to make them all. The spouse with less money profits. Always marry richer.

[–]justgotalpha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Guys you shouldn’t get married in the FIRST PLACE.. a lot of you have the mentality of a prenup and yall gotta understand in most cases it does not even matter, all she gotta say is she was preassured and if she really wants that divorce plus money she can acuse you of domestic violence ... theres no way to win ... marriage is for TOP TIER ALPHA MALES WHO CAN MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK! and even them get fucked over ... protrct your assets my friend and dont let your beta self come out

[–]TengaBrothers0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And you are surprised because ? Nothing new to see here

[–]DarthEversus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If a woman ever tried to do this to me, I would put a bullet in her head. Rather spend the rest of my days in prison that working to pay some unfaithful bitch off.

[–]diejager0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Conservative, traditional, Catholic family.

I think this kind of person is the most prone to cheat: since their community values a lot of hard values, saying that you are feeling one (ex: cheating) makes you being scolded by them, creating a situation in which either you create the thrill of a forbidden thing ("oohhh, I can't cheat, that's so exciting!") or a previous feeling go stacking each other until the person cheats (for instance, she sees another guy and finds he interesting, but since longing with him is the same as cheating for Christians, this leads to the thrill and them the cheat).

My opinions aside, this is an outlier case. This woman is in her (just do the math, if they married at 18, she is 51, if it was 22~23 she is 55~56). That thing that we believe on the sidebar in which women feels the ticking clock of their ovaries and want to secure the best genes is long gone: women reach menopause late 40's, early 50's and probably that's her case. Based on that we can tell one of two things: or I'm wrong and this woman is seeing a 30ish Chad (who will dump her eventualy) or this woman does not feel safe with her husband for the next stage of life (elderly) and looked for a guy of the same age to feel safe for it.

Can OP provide more info on the last paragraph?

[–]albino_red_head0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She wants money for half of the family's property (worth about $400k, so she would get ~ $200k). Plus she wants a portion of the father's retirement,

Let us pray to the TRP gods that this gets shot down quick.

[–]Wilson-AOL0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So, even tho 3 decades passed since that damn ring was put on her finger, she still chooses to "demolish the house" because of... some kind of chad?

Can't say it is a bad marriage since they have a house, raised 4 normal and healthy kids and God knows what other properties they have. It is a successful one to be honest.

Feelsbadman

[–]garfield69690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If the situation reverse, all women will say the guy is a dick and asshole. Double standard at its worse. I knew a couple married for almost 26 yrs. Asian traditional wife, husband hard working , caring and supportive. But wife cheated on husband with a loser that has no money, no career, living in a garage. Sad part is she did it with the loser on their bed when the husband away on business trip. Now she gets half of the house worth more than 80k. And she doesn't think she did anything wrong. So guys, don't get the idea that if you work hard, supportive, loving and caring, well- established, your wife won't cheat on you. Always be prepare. How good you treat the lady and how well you work hard to provide for the woman doesn't mean anything .

[–]Vancopime0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just trying to learn from this... so doesn’t this mean that if you’re going to be married, it’s actually better to see an experienced divorce lawyer worth their dime to help you establish a prenup that in the case of a divorce, would best protect you. Sure your spouse might not like it but you gotta take care of #1 first. What do y’all think?

[–]Izalias0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What ever happened to: Adulterers get nothing.

[–]MrDinkles77670 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He needs to go dirty on this bitch in the divorce proceedings. “Remaining [email protected] is one thing. Being an all-day sucker and letting some cheating whore take everything you have worked for without a fight is another.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude sounds like a simp. How the fuck can you be married for that long and not know your wife has been creeping on you for years while also having the character of a sucubitch???

How unaware can you be for christ sakes...

[–]dopexile0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Work it off means work until you drop dead to pay her off.

She isn't going to get married to the boyfriend because she can collect alimony and pension payments as long as she stays unmarried. That is how you know marriage is a sham, women want to force marriage when it benefits them and they want to avoid marriage when it is not in their own self interest.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Interesting thing I'd like to ask in this discussion

This couple https://youtu.be/x0ix30SJlVk where the guy is disabled just got married. How long do you think they'll last? Why does she accept this?

[–]thesatellite23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They're making a few hundred thousand dollars a year on YouTube alone. They'll last as long as that ad revenue keeps flowing.

[–]razeus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Marriage is a no win situation for a man and women fucking know it.

The world we live in is one that a woman can cheat all she wants and she still gets half the assets, child support, and spousal support.

Woman clearly understand they are no consequences for their actions. None. That's fucking bullshit.

[–]jck730 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Men bear the brunt of the risk in marriage. Period.

[–]1meerita0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I will never marry anyone, not even the hottest 21 year old girl.

[–]thetotalpackage70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

FYI pursuant to a judge ordered divorce decree, you can divest a percentage of a retirement vehicle to the cunt spouse without penalty.

[–]Jdaddynowison0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I hope that woman gets what's coming to her.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, modern marriage is a sham. Marriage itself is essential for civilization, but the traditionalist legal frameworks necessary to keep the institution of marriage honest and stable have been eroded because of how blue pill shit has gotten.

[–]Lambdal70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s not so unreasonable.

For 30 years of raising the kids, that’s $7k a year. Considering 30h/week spent on raising the kids more than the dad that’s 1,800h/year at a wage of $3.

$200k is a pretty good deal. Had he been single and had a nanny, it would have been double that.

There is a point to divorce settlement, it’s not always fair of course, but in this case it seems to be adequately fair.



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