I've never been in a serious relationship, nor am I looking for one. I have long/short term goals, good social life, a lot of friends, etc... The grind is fun but spinning plates feels so... soul draining.

I've had many plates break, some sooner than others but the cycle is ALWAYS the same. Meet some cute girl, flirt, have sex, turn her into a plate, vet her and sooner or later there's ALWAYS some kind of deal breaker/red flag so the plate ends up breaking.

Like, I've never been in love. I always feel empty and unable to connect with women. It just feels like my emotions are slowly fading away and it sucks. I'm 23 and the thought of spinning plates for the rest of my life kills me inside. I'm tired of hooking up with girls I give no fuck about, even though I'm physically attracted to them. I just can't fake it... I try to give them a chance but once I see their true nature first hand I always get turned off.

Two plates broke because they were pushing for something serious but I didn't want it because of red flags. The third plate turned out to be a massive slut and I was paranoid about STD's so I stopped talking to her.

Now I'm at 0 plates, I don't mind for the moment, I'll get more plates but it's just this stupid cycle that makes my brain go numb. Now I have to approach new girls, pretend to act interested, just to use them as cum dumpsters. It feels so unrewarding.

Sorry if this sounds like a rant. I just had to type it out and would love your guys point of view on this. Monk mode is personally for me not an option. Does it get better? I've been spinning plates for 3-5 years now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling down or anything, most of my happiness comes from other stuff than girls but it just feels so lame sometimes, whole this plates spinning, even though it's the best thing to do.