Seems like everywhere else on reddit, men and pickme's are convinced that FDS is a "female incel" subreddit, even though most of our users are neither involuntary nor celibate.
I know that this can be really hard for the male lurkers to understand, and probably most of you really can't relate, but many of our subscribers here have far more suitors than we know what to do with.
"inCeL iS a MeNTaLiTy" they say. "iT's AbOuT bEiNg AnGrY aNd ReSeNtFuL tOwArDs tHe OpPoSiTe sEx"
Ok, let's unpack that.
So, what are incels so mad about? They are angry that women don't want to date them or have sex with them. They are resentful that women choose to date men who are taller, more attractive, or richer than them. They are angry that women have standards and preferences of our own ("hypergamous"), and they bitterly resent that they do not meet these standards. Moreover, they resent that "modern women" are not as submissive and deferential as "women in the past". In other words, incels are angry that they are not able to procure the female servitude that they feel entitled to.
In contrast, the women on this subreddit are mostly angry about being lied to, manipulated, used, abused, controlled, and exploited by virtually every man we have encountered, "chads" and "betas" alike. We are tired of being sexually objectified, we are tired of being deferential, we are tired of being treated like a free therapist/hooker/maid/personal chef by our romantic partners, we are tired of being expected to put men's interests before our own. In other words, we are angry and resentful towards men for acting like they are entitled to our submission and free labor.
Can you spot the difference?
It's all about the power dynamic. Men want to stay on top, and women are tired of being stomped all over.
Let me put it this way: imagine you are looking at a labor strike between a group of factory workers and the factory owner. On one side, you have the workers saying "we want to be fairly compensated! No more unpaid overtime! We want better working conditions!" etc. and on the other side, you have the factory owners complaining "unbelievable! Why aren't my slaves employees working!? Get back to work! We're not going to meet our production deadline if you keep sitting around waving signs! What about me!?? If you don't get back to work I'm not going to make as much money!!"
Although the concerns of the factory owner might feel totally valid and justified to him, in reality they are motivated by a desire to maintain his position of power.
These two perspectives are not "equally as bad". These two parties are not "equally at fault".
On one side you have legitimate frustrations being voiced, on the other side you have someone who is entitled, greedy, selfish, and refuses to change let alone even understand the complaints of the people they are seeking to exploit.
And frankly, I don't really expect the male lurkers to read this and for a lightbulb to go off in their head like "ohhh I get it now!" Nope, most likely they will stick to their "what about meeee?" attitude, pick apart some minor details of my analogy, and continue on their path of intentionally misunderstanding our POV for their own personal benefit.
This post is really for the ladies. Next time someone else tries to make you feel ashamed or defensive for being angry with men, remember this: Your feelings are valid. Your anger and resentment is justified. No, you are not overreacting or being irrational. Keep on fighting the good fight. It's high time we overthrow this power dynamic.
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