Why stay with an old woman

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February 12, 2019

This is more for the older guys.

What makes you want to stay with your wives after your kids have grown up?

You could find another woman 10 years your junior who is also decent since with age men get more and more of the dating upper hand because of men dying out at older ages.

Your woman is not a unicorn, you could find someone else who also helps you on your mission who is also younger and hotter, so why stay?

Do you never desire variety? If you are an alpha, you could get some strange and then settle down again.

You know if your wife died you would find someone else so don't act like your special unicorn is special, because she is not; then why do you stay with a woman whose looks will go downhill.

Edit: I'm 22, not married or anything, just curious how you guys handle being able to monkey branch since you are high value and you are now worth more than your wives?

If red pill is about doing what's best for you, then guilt should not keep you in a relationship eh?

I'm just curious how you guys think since I might have this same issue in a few decades

Post Information
Title Why stay with an old woman
Author Dash_of_islam
Upvotes 7
Comments 60
Date 12 February 2019 03:58 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/215268
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/apur79/why_stay_with_an_old_woman/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
alphabranch swingingunicornthe red pill

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child) | Copy

Reports Hosted:

Low quality and concern trolling.

I have to kind of agree, why isn't this concern trolling?

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (16 children) | Copy

Your values change as you age.

Do we really need to list all the reasons why mated couples typically stay together?

Sure, if you're a sociopath dark triad, keep trading down in age till your dick falls off. Whatever floats your boat.

Personally... the older I get the company of younger women gets annoying really fast... all people under the age of 35 seem stupid and preoccupied with inane useless things and situations. But that's because I'm aging. So I want all kids off my lawn. Including the bubbly , exhausting 26 year old chick with the giant jugs and small waist.

[–]hack3geRed Beret21 points22 points  (4 children) | Copy

Including the bubbly , exhausting 26 year old chick with the giant jugs and small waist.

At least give her a hose and bucket so she can wash your car and make herself useful...

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fair point.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

☝️This. Saw this chick changing her own brakes with fucking air tools. Fuck that shit is sexy. Shes was maybe a 6 in general but her competency was sexy as fuck.

Most chicks I know can’t even do simple, menial shit and it’s not because they’re incapable. Shit is a turn off.

[–]framelessglasses1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

her competency was sexy as fuck

I've fucked competency and it was good much better than expected.

[–]Big_Stomper10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

44m here, And agree with this to a point. There are some hot, intelligent women over the age of 25, but they are rare and more trouble than they may be worth. Depends on what you want from their company....

My opinion is that if you are going to stay with a woman as she gets older, married or not, it has to be in the same page. Kids and age can remove a woman’s libido, her financial decisions, her attitude, etc. If she is not willing to stay, or at least work on, being in your frame of how you want to live your life, then she doesn’t value the relationship as much as you do, and you have every right to move on to someone who does.

A man sacrifices much more for a woman than she would for a man; I choose to not let that proportion get beyond what I am ok with.

[–]framelessglasses1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

the older I get the company of younger women gets annoying really fast

under age 35 is like a nail in my ear.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Honestly I think that’s why I do so well with the young ones. For some reason the 18-24 bracket loves me - it’s probably because they interpret me zoning out as aloof alpha or I just attract the ones with daddy issues...

[–]framelessglasses0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Crap, I think they all have some daddy issues. And, yes, when I treat the one's under 40 with some contempt, many of them like it so much they make obvious plays in front of wife. I literally spanked one at a party.

[–]BurnedRemains0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Completely irrelevant question, what do you see as inane, useless things and situations? Is this a general or specific annoyance?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

Fuck it...I don't feel like working yet so I'll give you a retarded long winded answer. And I will answer that question and ones you didn’t ask. No matter what I write it won’t be the whole picture either. No need to write a book. And this is imo, not as a mrp rep, so some of that was for comedic effect but to be honest , yes approaching 50 my tolerance for conversations about certain subjects ,worldviews, and the cadence of conversation just bores me to death or worse ... grates in my ear like nails on a chalk board until I can relocate.

Gossip ranks number 1. Seemingly everywhere in the under 35 crowd.

Even young males, either through product of current culture or just an age thing, will participate entirely too much along with their vapid girlfriends in conversing about this friend or family or that friend or family member like a primary hobby. You hear the same shit about uncle x or friend y over and over again and it's like forced schadenfreude instead of attending to their own betterment.

And rare is the igen not glued to their phone or pulling up shit they want you to see on it. Nobody seems to appreciate unplugging. I like to sit, and listen to nature. The constant need to fill space with mouth noise kills me. I have friends who I hang with and we may sit and chirp out a sentence or two but also have nice, long pauses. Silences even.

But I will admit, it's not everybody, and not everybody over a certain age doesn't fall into this category either, but it does seem to skew with age.

And maybe it's just because I'm an older fuck. The older I get the more I prefer the company of my own age or older souls.

Tangent 1: Now situation-specific a funny thing observation is how mad my wife will get at the 20-30 year olds (mostly in-laws and their friends). But she continually refers to them all as useless girls. They can't cook, don't clean, don’t work out or even put much parenting into their children. My wife has a college degree. She's a SAHM, goes to the gym every other day at least, stays fit… who is also homeschooling and normally I wouldn't be for it, but our schools suck where we are at (she actually subbed there a year and taught for another so ... she had some inside info that was even worse), and she's actually putting in full time hours to make it work, she found like minded individuals and is getting the credits and testing well beyond the average (with STEM focus).

Tangent 2: One male relative who manages a large grocery store (on the clock he puts in standard hours, but he is constantly covering and always fielding calls). His wife works a lazy desk job who doesn't work full weeks. So when they need groceries....he comes home, picks up her and drives them out to a closer branch of his chain of stores and grocery shops. Then he does the cooking, he does the cleaning, and most of the child rearing. She brags that he rubs her back till she falls asleep EVERY NIGHT.

And yet, flying in the face of most logic, the one and only thing she does is always put out. Always. How does that add up in RP land? She has a hard realization of her low...and I mean LOW smv. Now she still shit tests and snipes at him a lot because of his princess treatment, but he is SOOO laid back he naturally blows it all off. Never gets mad, AA's AM's like no tomorrow. I just don't see how he sustains it, but it's a part of his personality. Which leads to his SOCIALLY SUPER HIGH smv in their world (the only one that matters). I think none of the rest of the chores she does NOT do matters to him and just the sex. I think that may come back to bite him one day. Maybe not.

Why, knowing about rp would she put out with him being so “apparently” beta. Well… he is a social butterfly. EVERYONE loves him. He's one of those people who could charm and befriend aaaaanybody. He makes bank compared to his peers. Is important to his community. I just think maintained high social SMV is a JOKER wildcard ...gets you to the top SMV cheat. You could take toastmasters for years, watch every charisma on command and get it down...and still not have the natural abilities he's harnessed. He is constantly entertaining. His bmi is at least in the 30% and still, when single, he was pulling 8-10's no problem. Sometimes 2 at a time.

Now when he got married he picked a solid 5, straight out of the trailer park. Tell me that wasn't on purpose. The moment there was anything real behind a shit test then she knows she'd fall off the back of the ride.

But to bring it back, after a while... for example as fun as a young someone like he or a bubbly young girl equivalent with all this trading young nonsense would be to be around... it's just too much circus of shallow.

MRP is a toolset to mold to YOUR values YOUR map YOUR frame. And mine and I would wager a lot of vets is to build something. Lack of sex brings a lot of guys here and RP is touted as a sexual strategy, but if that were all it was, you might as well just stick to PUA. Low sex is a red flag YOU aren't being the best you. If lazy is your frame. Truly. You don’t want to do shit. I think the best option is MGTOW and pay for it or you have to put up with a slob of a woman lazier than yourself. It’s always about SMV. Most of us have some sense of taste or like to share space with more refined women. So once you get back to the place where you fuck as often as you want (I do), then what? If your map and frame are all about the P then that is a small map.

So yes... you could be the full alpha, leave a path of destroyed women and trade down once they hit the wall and have a parade of Marys on your headboard. OK. Having that option is good for your mindset, confidence and works well as constant passive dread when needed. But shared history is awesome if you're running your ship correctly. Shared goals and interests with your children and THEIR children. Your DNA. Other than sex and something young to look at, what value will a 26 year old babygirl bring to my life? I have no desire or want to go to a Sir Sly concert. And as I age I'll be complaining about 36 year olds, then probably 40 year olds. And even let me get back to the OP’s original question. Which initially I just kind of throw my hands up when I see because of my own lack of patience sometimes... IMO the question asked "Why don't you always trade down" is a young man without life experience question or short sighted, or a masquerading older female dreading about the chances of her man leaving her wanting some assurances or her-worst-fear confirmation.

I’m also a believer in biologically men fall into 2 types , those who spray and pray with regards to their genetics. Bang and indiscriminately impregnate lots of women and care little about investing in their offspring. A candidate to live a life feeling fulfilled at the end while dying on your houseboat in the midst of banging that 30 year old you picked up at a bar who has a grandad fetish.

Or the invest and nest. Where you’re (at least serially monogamous) while you raise kids in a stable setting and participate. I make no moral judgements on either, I just know that deep down I’m the latter.

So while sometimes I'd rather sit next to a friend(s) drinking an Islay single malt and smoking a Liga T-52 while we occasionally insult each other with a football game going on in the background. I actually enjoy spending down time<insert young rp breaking out of inceldom gasp> with my wife on the porch while she occasionally breaks the silence with her home project wishes or all the updates on the things she and my daughter accomplishing in home school that day.

Hopefully you all will all get to this point one day. It's a place where you can look around and feel some gratitude with how things turned out. It’s why I jumped at the chance to mod here (as frustrating as it is sometimes). RP and SPECIFICALLY MRP is not only what brought sex back into the marriage (a symptom), but brought me back into focus on my goals and live life with them in mind and me in control of my destiny instead of having life carry me along like a cork in a river and feeling like a victim.... constantly puking.

[–]Morpheus_TNTB1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Mad respect on the Islay Single Malt!!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

And very few friends of mine like scotch so I don't have to share (not that I really mind).

I'm a total contrarian to my circle as I like flavor with my drink.

Everybody around me drinks bourbon.

The only drink that gets "better" the less it tastes like alcohol and more it tastes like candy.

Sounds weird, if you don't already, but if you like the peaty malts... for a change try getting a decent Mescal for sipping. Mescal is to Tequila what Blends are to Singles. Each has a region and recipe.

I really dig:

Gracias a Dios and Pelton de la Muerte.

And on the flipside try Stolen Overproof rum if you can find it. Tastes like no rum I've ever had. But be wary of it's impact.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That helped me sort some stuff out I have been struggling with. The time you invested writing that was a valuable investment in strangers. You did it behind an internet handle, that makes it selfless.

Thanks man.

You rock.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Millions... I'm making millions per post.

To tap into my deep southern roots I'd say I like to crap out the occasional meadow muffin so that in turn some other animal out there may sift through my dump and find something worth digesting. Glad you found some kernels.

[–]Snobbilb10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Amen. I'm 45, and have been with 20+ year olds and cannot stand the drama or conversation. About 32 is the lowest I'll go.

[–]ManguZa10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

You could find a more prettier woman without too much hassle.
It's another thing to find a woman as amiable and loyal to you and your children (assuming you tamed your wife).
There's also the possibility of getting her agree to you spinning plate at the side.

It's a question of quantity vs quality. If you can have both great, if not i prefer quality (again assuming you correctly choose your wife in the first place).

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

What makes you want to stay with your wives after your kids have grown up?

Let me answer in the form of a question: Why do you think Olympic pair figure skaters keep the same partner for their entire careers, instead of trading them out for the latest gold medalist, who is undoubtedly a better skater?

Do you never desire variety?

Do you never desire depth and intimacy? Which is also variety, of a different (and to me less superficial) sort?

[–]Maximus_Valerius5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Currently, the costs outweigh the benefits.

[–]hack3geRed Beret5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Careful with this line of thinking - what’s living your life how you want worth?

[–]Maximus_Valerius3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

By “cost” and “benefit” I am referring to tangibles and intangibles, not just money. The monetary costs/benefit analysis is way down my list.

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah as long as it’s an overall value proposition and not a money/kids thing.

[–]Maximus_Valerius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. They should factor into the value proposition but be two of several factors.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Does she add value? That is really the only question to ask.

[–]rockstarbottom5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everybody gets old. There is more to it than sex, and young women want babies.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy

Who says I'm staying?

The stay plan is the go plan.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

I am going to write a post about this eventually.

The stay plan IS NOT the same as the go plan in my eyes.

And I believe we are doing a disservice to people suggesting it is.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's a loaded answer to a loaded question. You know it and I know it.

[–]SuperCrazy070 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I’d love for you both (and maybe others) to expand on this.

“The stay plan is the go plan” might be the most confusing piece of MRP for me as my stay plan is decidedly different from my go plan.

If I stay, I’m married. If I go, I’m probably not and certainly not for a while.

If I stay, I’ll never have kids. If I go, it’s a possibility.

If I stay, I remain in my city (which I love). If I go, I explore (which I’d love).

Those are three big things that jump to mind, but I’m sure there are others.

Yes, the basics (lift, improve, succeed, frame) are the same, stay or go. But the details are very different.

There are always decisions and trade offs to be made.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My mission is mine and only mine. If she continues to be a good first mate who helps me meet the mission, then great. If not she will be replaced.

[–]Dash_of_islam[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's what I was asking.

What if you encounter another woman who would do anything for you: just like your wife in personality except she is 10 years younger and hotter than your older wife.

Would you leave your wife or not?

I ask because I often wonder if men would be racked with guilt for leaving a good woman whose only mistake was getting older.

At the same time I don't think guilt is a good enough reason to stay with a woman.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

i look forward to this post, because i subscribe to the stay plan = go plan; well aside from pumping and dumping every single mom i can.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can only speak for myself but the go plan is a sex parade with strangers. The stay plan is not that, it's a sex parade with my wife.

The stay plan/go plan is just guild lines. It's just a clever way of staying do what you want.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's a worthwhile mental positioning statement., Like stfu

[–]The_LitzRed Beret8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

You make no mention of age, but where I am at pushing 50 a huge issue for me is kids. A young childless woman will want to have kids, or has very young kids. I am not raising another mans spawn or having a blended family. Mine, yours and ours.

At best she has teenage kids which will not make the relationship worth it.

So far the best women I have come across are close in age to me with kids out of the house or never had kids.

A young hot body is nice, but after the initial thrill has worn off.... meh.

The big question you must ask yourself is why get married again?

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The big question you must ask yourself is why get married again?

Not gonna lie anyone who claims they are red pill and talks about remarrying hasn’t swallowed shit. Half the time I wanna divorce my wife and go back to just an LTR just out of principle - if I think I could get away with I would try and finagle that but I don’t think I’ve heard any stories of guys successfully pulling this off.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My buddy who is retiring soon did something similar recently. The motivation is for tax purposes though. He found a 'loophole'. They are now divorced and in a long distance LTR.

Of course we now wait for her to tell him thanks and fuck off...

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha yep she's on the express train to Strangeville

[–]screechhaterRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Cause they can fuck like no other.

I was fucking mine before you were born, and last night I fucked her as she just poured buckets of come out of her. The whole body orgasms are pretty good

When I was your age I was fucking anything, including engaged Mormon girls, single moms, hotel clerks from LA to NY, married women at work or the gym. Point is, I have no regrets and rarely think, I wish.....

22 - your frontal lobe isn’t even fully developed yet. Quit worrying about 10 years from now and live today

Do you lift ?

[–]Dash_of_islam[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, hurt my knees and shoulders last year so I'm still recovering. I do lift, but I am not big.

Didn't have a lot of discipline with the gym in the past but I will make this a habit.

I was asking because it seems pretty good to have an awesome woman for the long run, but then I wondered if I would want to leave and go be single for a while but would I feel bad for leaving a loyal good woman whose mistake was getting older if I was worth more.

Good to know you guys still feel your wives add to your life. I worried about feeling conflicted, like part of you wants to leave and part of you wants to stay.

Thanks for the perspective

[–]hack3geRed Beret8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Welcome to the everyday struggle of a high value man....

I've gotten numbers from 3 chicks this week 15 years younger than my wife and had my son's preschool teacher who's only 19 kinoing me and telling me that she wants me to take her off-roading in my new jeep this summer - "Maybe if you are lucky."

At some point all you see is 1s and 0s man - don't know what to tell you.

[–]DanG30 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

“At least give her a hose and bucket so she can wash your car and make herself useful...” > "Maybe if you are lucky."


Test them. Make them work for you. Always make them qualify themselves to you. They love it ... and it makes them damp. Consider open ended statements ... suggesting action on their part (rather than luck): “Time will tell.” “We will see.” “That’s something I’ll think about.”

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I do this all the time now - I drop all kinds of random qualifiers with any woman I'm talking to.

The moment I said "Maybe if you are lucky" the teachers entire demeanor changed she moved in even closer and gave me some serious fuck me hard eyes. No woman wants a man she doesn't have to work to get or work to keep - be that man.

[–]framelessglasses2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

So many questions. You are probably trolling, but here goes away...

you could find someone else who also helps you on your mission who is also younger and hotter, so why stay?

Is younger and hotter better? Does SMV and money have a lot in common, is there ever, ever enough? Your premise of what is best, lacks depth and maturity. Next question.....

Do you never desire variety? If you are an alpha, you could get some strange and then settle down again.

Of course. It my decision to not play around (today). Others make other choices, I don't judge. My decision could change, BUT, not without telling her, out of respect, and, I expect the same from her.

You know if your wife died you would find someone else so don't act like your special unicorn is special, because she is not;

Of course, you're preaching to the choir here.....

then why do you stay with a woman whose looks will go downhill

The same reason many people stay together as BOTH their looks go down hill. It is a choice that has to do with "what do you value?" If you value your wife, if she values you, it is a dumb question.

Edit: if you do not value your wife, or your wife doesn't value you, it is the wrong question. The question has nothing to do with youth or looks; the question is simply "why do you stay"?

[–]Tbonesupreme2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I just got this one trained.

What would you rather have, a well trained dog or a "cuter" puppy?

Give me the bitch that does what she's told and doesn't fuck up the house.

[–]Dash_of_islam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True, I wasn't considering that you get used to someone's personality and don't want to change unless there is a good reason.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

This post and relies are nothing more than mental masterbation.

You all need to STFU and go lift.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like you are projecting.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read Rollo’s second book Preventative Medicine. You’re asking the wrong question. The question is, “what should you expect from that old woman and are you satisfied with that?” That expectation is directly correlated to how big of a faggot you are though.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like the way she sucks my cock when she sits on my face. It takes years to get an ass to fit your face just right. It's like an ass bonzi tree.

I'll toss her in the trash if she reverts back to the harpy.

They are all the same. Grooming for a new one seems like work I could be doing somewhere else.

Sex is just meat and friction.

[–]helaughsinhidden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


Who are you, how much do you lift, are you in an LTR, kids, married, what books have you read, what do you understand from them?

[–]mrp_awakening-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

What makes you want to stay with your wives after your kids have grown up?

Good question. You're making me really think long and hard about that situation. Although I took the pill after marriage, she is a quality woman. Our sex life is showing improvement after some RP principles have been applied, and she knows I could easily find strange if I wanted. A little bit of dread is there. Things are improving. If things are still good still enough then (I suspect they will be), I'm fine hanging out in this marriage. If they're not, so be it... I don't have oneitis. I guess things are good enough that I'd wonder if I'd honestly have it better if we split. That being said...

You could find another woman 10 years your junior who is also decent since with age men get more and more of the dating upper hand because of men dying out at older ages.


Your woman is not a unicorn, you could find someone else who also helps you on your mission who is also younger and hotter, so why stay?


Do you never desire variety?

Why talk about finding a singular new woman, and then follow it with asking about variety? Truth be told, a part of me does crave variety. If my wife and I were to split, I wouldn't settle down again. Ever. I would have done the whole commitment thing... I'd do straight up variety. Spin plates. New girl of the week. Would it be exhausting? I dunno... maybe? Is staying in a committed relationship exhausting? At times, yes. I wouldn't commit to a woman ever again though. Just my 2c.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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