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The more “alpha” I’ve become the quieter I am?

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FuckMichaelMcCoy
February 11, 2019
238 upvotes
askTRP

I’m an outgoing guy but I’ve noticed recently as my confidence and SMV has increased overall, I find myself with a quiet confidence.

As this has happened, all of the girls I encounter have been flirting so much harder and even initiating conversations into logistics with me (like who do u live with/what are u watching on Netflix) basically making it easy for me to fuck them.

Back in my beta days I used to try to be extra outgoing and heavier on the AMOG in group situations but I’ve found the golden balance now.

I seem to outshine the more “forced outgoing amog” type guys that you seem to encounter and I instantly recognize their overcompensation to seek attention and I feel women sense this. Like you’re trying to impress them and come across try hard. Ironically these same guys slip out beta details like complaining, whining about something, saying the wrong things, etc

Anyone gone through the same evolution?

PS when I talk I’m outgoing and confident/charismatic. I’m being quiet by choice and not because I am scared to say the wrong things.


Post Information
Title The more “alpha” I’ve become the quieter I am?
Author FuckMichaelMcCoy
Upvotes 238
Comments 117
Date 11 February 2019 11:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/215359
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/apm9ld/the_more_alpha_ive_become_the_quieter_i_am/
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Comments

[–]rambler429 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy

Quiet confidence is something women immediately pick up on and find extremely attractive.

Enjoy you new found superpower.

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (3 children) | Copy

Have you ever noticed how even the wanna be “tough guys” just melt in front of you, and more guys want to be associated with you. It’s truly ridiculous, I don’t do anything to impress anyone and this where my quieteness came from,

[–]Mescalean14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

When the manlettes and stacies are trying to get some of that sweet dick /s

All seriousness yes. Most people flock to those who seem like they have their shit together because most dont.

Most of my peers are still children and we’re 27-30 now...

[–]Jampak_500015 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

The older I get the more I think the most attractive quality isn't height or dick or money, its having your shit together.

[–]Mescalean1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Its why despite my ability to be easily distracted by pussy and the like this is the reason I decided to go monk for a bit.

In the grand scheme, if i can get my shit together in 4-5 years I’ll still be young and able to do what i wish like experiment with body/physique improvement and all that. I have nothing to bitch about at 6 foot 205 but right there is another distaction. Very highschool too now that I think about “whos got the biggest bi’s” “whos the most jacked” kind of shit

[–]Acerhand26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well most guys here are highly introverted. So this will be upvoted a lot. Not saying it has no merit(i am introverted too) but gotta remember who the posters here are. “Super power”. Dont let this forum fool you out of improving yourself. A lot of guys here hate the idea of getting better at conversing and being outgoing. This obviously would result in massive upvotes.

Its the equivalent of a forum of fatties upvoting a post about “fat acceptance”

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, we like AUTHENTIC quiet confidence. The fake it till you make it mantra is bullshit because on a deeper level this fake bravado is always suspect.

[–]mickey__0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What did you meant with quiet confidence? I know how it looks (kind of) but not how to become one

[–]mrpoopistan99 points100 points  (24 children) | Copy

all of the girls I encounter have been flirting so much harder and even initiating conversations into logistics with me

Aw, shit. This guy is pretty close to having it dialed in perfectly.

if you've read all the sidebar stuff, you may recall some mentions of the idea that you want to make yourself something that she has to work for. You're the prize.

As an added bonus, human beings fucking hate silence. They will fill the silence if you don't. In many cases, you should just let them.

A month back I had matched with a chick on Tinder, and we had just exchanged super basic introductions.

I got super busy that month, and Tinder is the absolute bottom of my rotation of things I check. It wasn't that I was deliberately ignoring her or anything, but Tinder is easily the first non-priority that gets cut out when i'm busy.

I check in because I get the dumb "we're gonna take your profile down message" from Tinder on my phone. Here she had been blowing me up with increasingly suggestive stuff that went from "I'm gonna have a few days off next week" and ended at "we should get up to some trouble."

People feel compelled to fill the silence. People hate silence. Some folks will go downright crazy faced with silence. Let them.

If they have intentions toward you, you'll find out quickly.

I used to try to be extra outgoing and heavier on the AMOG in group situations

"Try" is no way to be the storyteller in the group. Storytellers don't try. That shit just explodes out of them. They have to bullshit, or they'll die.

these same guys slip out beta details

One of the reasons women love conversation as a social-sexual tool is that every talk is a chance to accidentally hang yourself. It's like being interviewed by the police. Never do their job for them, even if you're innocent.

[–]3chazthundergut55 points56 points  (4 children) | Copy

One of the reasons women love conversation as a social-sexual tool is that every talk is a chance to accidentally hang yourself. It's like being interviewed by the police. Never do their job for them, even if you're innocent.

Good stuff.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (3 children) | Copy

This. Talking to women is so tiring. It's like they are always trying to get you to enter their frame, like they don't understand the concept of having a conversation as a way of exchanging information.

[–]mrpoopistan15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Here's the greatest punchline of being quiet around women: they often assume it's a sign that you're a good listener. As long as you resist the urge to go blue pill / emotional tampon, that perception can pay dividends.

Men and women have very different emotional languages. TRP folks often trash feminism, but there was a brief glimmer-of-hope moment in the late 80s and early 90s when feminists were comfortable talking about these differences in style. (Before the circular firing squad of Third Wave Feminism hit, and suddenly the conversation became "Why straight white women perpetuate the patriarchy by breathing.")

The idea that men and women's emotional languages were radically different was a big part of the last days of Second Wave Feminism. There was a pretty Red Pill argument that gender differences mattered and that this was why it happened.

Distilled to its simplest form, the idea is that:

  1. Women communicate feelings in order to foster group cohesion. This includes seeking mates, keeping families together, bonding with their friends, building communities, etc.
  2. Men communicate ideas in order to coordinate action. In fact, there's a version of this argument that says sports is a training mechanism to ensure that young men learn the coordination required for business, warfare, politics and other activities that often require rapid action by many actors at once.

It's why men and women often find themselves talking past each other.

[–]DayGameChirality-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women communicate feelings in order to foster group cohesion. This includes seeking mates, keeping families together, bonding with their friends, building communities, etc.

Men communicate ideas in order to coordinate action. In fact, there's a version of this argument that says sports is a training mechanism to ensure that young men learn the coordination required for business, warfare, politics and other activities that often require rapid action by many actors at once.

Chiming in, this is the basic idea, but it's not always so. There is quite a group of feminine men (not a bad thing for them in of itself!) who enjoy 1). Don't tryhard to be 2) if you're 1). Just know how to do both when needed, no matter which you're more focused on due to your personality. Women you're attracted to don't give a shit.

[–]youcantstopmyzed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I always kinda felt that but now seeing other like minded people repeating it feels good and validating.

Talking to a girl sometimes felt like getting through a cornfield full of mines. But that simply stopped when I start only responding most of the time while not giving a fuck. Best decision ever.

[–]bluefingerblue40 points41 points  (5 children) | Copy

On the concept of silence...when a first date is going well, I’ll often stop talking entirely and leave a little smirk on my face. I play a game where I don’t talk and see how long she’ll keep nervously babbling on about something as it gets funnier and funnier to me.

Eventually she’ll start nervously laughing and be like “whattt...what are you thinking aboutttt” then I’ll start laughing and say something like “I have a feeling you’d just keep talking forever if I didn’t say anything”. Then she laughs and says “omg you’re such an asshole,” hits you, and then you can go back to kino/rapport building. Sort of a secret weapon. Do not try if autistic.

[–]hopscotchking7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is good. Stealing.

[–]mrpoopistan2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“omg you’re such an asshole”

My favorite response to this is: "People tell me I can't take a compliment, so I'll just let that one stand."

​

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

gold

[–]DayGameChirality0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like this. Thanks.

[–]damaged_goods4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do not try if autistic.

Heh

[–]DayGameChirality2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

One of the reasons women love conversation as a social-sexual tool is that every talk is a chance to accidentally hang yourself. It's like being interviewed by the police. Never do their job for them, even if you're innocent.

Accidentaly hang yourself? Not a native speaker, would you explain this to me?

[–]golgynat0r4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

say something that would dry her off in an instant

[–]mrpoopistan2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Unintentionally say something that makes you look bad or creates a position you can't fix.

[–]DayGameChirality2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks guys

[–]MatrixofLe3adership0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That women like to shit test. And playing 20 Questions with you is a shit test to see if you'll say dumb shit that she'll have to revoke access to her vagina for.

[–]DayGameChirality1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Experienced this today for sure

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Good points. Is for a while now that I’m working on the idea of “everything you say might be used against you” with girls, which is specially important for me to pay attention before having sex.

Actually, a couple of months ago, I miscalculated the use of silence after kiss but pre sex and I missed to create an opportunity for more with a girl that is a 8 or 9.

Is easier with girls that talk a lot using apps (whatsApp, etc). Way harder with the hot ones that talk almost nothing using apps.

Voice and video helps but arousing them with silence is infinitely more powerful in person than using internet messages

[–]mrpoopistan0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

In my experience, the willingness to fill silences tends to tell you just how into you they are. Someone who doesn't want a messaging session to die will work harder.

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

True but then there is the shit testing factor too. If they are in silence it could be they are loosing interest or that they have but want to see you in control of initiative.

To remove this doubt, Instagram stories help, some girls aren’t there and some don’t miss any of your stories

[–]mrpoopistan0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Losing interest? Bah. I'm too interesting for that to happen.

want to see you in control of initiative

True. Some women ride that shit like a drug. I just don't humor them because it's not my style. Most women who are into me like the distant vibe and a big toughness. I've found being consistent in a winning game is more important than trying to hit all the marks.

​

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah that makes sense. But the total pool size might influence. Are you in a town or in a big city?

[–]mrpoopistan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I live near a medium-size college town that's in reasonable driving range of a major city. (less than an hour if traffic isn't hell)

I have a lot of options depending on my boredom level. I can go hit the college bars or some underground rave shit. I even have some hardcore redneck bars if I head the opposite direction and want that dive experience.

​

[–]Mescalean0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I must not be human. Loath senseless racket/noise

[–]Don_Draper2740 points41 points  (3 children) | Copy

Everything you say should hold value and meaning.

Because most men don't realize this, they say more than they need to and they decrease the attraction.

The more you talk, the more you give away from yourself and the less your body language speaks for you. Remember that everybody likes to talk about themselves so let them talk.

[–]Zakkaro2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

How do you apply this on a first date (ie: lunch) if shes not mega talkative?

[–]Don_Draper272 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Have fun. Tease, neg, make assumptions about her. Ask her questions. Do some kino moves.

IF she's still being cold and tofu and I've lost interest in the pursuit I'll just say I gotta go and hard next.

[–]Zakkaro0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine49 points50 points  (9 children) | Copy

It gets worse before it gets better.

Right now you've stopped seeking external validation via volunteering information about yourself to others. Letting others talk about themselves, you will quickly discover that most other people aren't particularly interesting.... so there isn't much to say at all. Socializing becomes boring; it's not that you're afraid to talk to people, you just don't want to.

[you are here]

Soon you'll realize that not talking to people is even more boring than talking to boring people; the next stage in your "evolution" is talking to people to say whatever you feel like to entertain yourself. That's when it really gets fun, because social outcome independence gives you the ability to step back and objectively gauge how other people respond to particular mannerisms, topics of discussion, etc.

I instantly recognize their overcompensation to seek attention and I feel women sense this. Like you’re trying to impress them and come across try hard.

This is the objectivity I referred to. Accelerate the process by running split tests yourself, put on "fake" personalities to hone in on what people positively respond to.

You're on your way to social mastery.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K1814 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Damn, you just described what I've been experiencing.

It's like a supreme level of being my own point t of mental origin.

Where that feeling of abundance, prize, idgaf and outcome independence is so high. There is such a feeling of higher status. I have zero reason to impress or have approval, so everything I do, is because I want to.

I tease, cuz I want to laugh. I qualify, cuz I genuinely want to hear what they say. I approach, cuz I want to check them out.

Nothing is for the other person. All of my motivation is self motivation, and I truly don't care about the outcome. Crazy crazy feeling.

[–]tyronethejabrone2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

"fake" personalities

Which do you normally use and which are more effective with which people? Have you had any interesting results?

[–]IvyExcess11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dude yes. I use a fake accent that I have practiced for years. And girls loooove to try to figure out where I'm from. I have a whole backstory of bullshit to go with it. I have gone to multi-day long events, stayed in character the entire time, and then months later see the people at a show and use my normal voice and...holy shit the smoke rolls from their ears as their brain melts for a second. Some of my best self-amusement. I've pulled girls in accent and switched to normal voice accidentally during sex lol never turned out bad though, just gotta own it. Fuck with people. Once you see the matrix, you gotta hack it at least a little for your own amusement. That's the basis of enjoy the decline - see the matrix for what it is. Unplug completely (mgtow) or put up a firewall and learn to hack it (TRP).

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Haha cool. Was there an accent/persona that worked best?

[–]IvyExcess0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For me, yes. But I'm confident and congruent with it. You have to make that for yourself. Literally try 10 different ones until you can pull off one well, then practice. Go to a different town, go to a bar, use your fake accent, try running game, fuck up, laugh it off, get weird, test the boundaries where no one actually knows you. Then go from there. I have been using this for over a decade now, and it's only getting better with time

[–]DayGameChirality-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao I remember I was at a music festival where I was introduced to a new female, we bounced off, soon a friend of hers came in and said I must not be from here (we had those IDs on our chests). I haven't even said anything yet, and the female said that I'm not from here, so I kept up with the joke and started talking in English with Russian accent that I'm from Ukraine. I kept bullshitting her friend for straight 40 minutes to the amusement of her. Surprisingly, her friend found it super easy to open up to me and talk with me, contrary to what she said about her friend, that she's usually shy.

My theory on why was it this way is that as children and teens in non-English countries, we are taught a lot of small talk during English lessons. So we get more adept in it than we are with small talk in our native language.

[–]norcalguy5100 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've also encountered this boredom but always assumed something was wrong with me. Any further reading recommendations on this subject?

[–]L0st_sail0r-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great comment

[–]1900_year_old_vampire18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

yep

[–]tyronethejabrone14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. And good job. This is where you want to be at

[–]MrFiles13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a book called "power vs force" it's basically what you're describing

[–]want2knw18 points19 points  (26 children) | Copy

I’m a confident guy and consider myself an alpha, although I’m not the aggressive type. However I am also a super super social guy so I love joking with everyone, even if I’m not sexually interested in them. I’ve noticed that even though I’m just enjoying myself and making boring interactions fun for myself women take this as weakness and what you described. How do I strike the balance of being myself and having fun, but also retaining that mystery and control that was described?

[–]FuckMichaelMcCoy[S] 14 points15 points  (14 children) | Copy

I find that when someone talks to you, then be outgoing and game them (both men and women). Basically you’re backing up your social prowess without showing it off. But don’t start convos just to fill silence even if your intention is good women will interpret it differently.

Women will see your quiet confidence and want to bask in it. Key thing is u need to back it up when the convo starts tho.

[–]want2knw5 points6 points  (11 children) | Copy

I usually approach women in a joking way to break the ice and to show I’m a normal guy. I feel like by making the first move I’m showing confidence because it shows I’m not shy, but once I get to talking the guy who is being more quiet usually piques their interests since he’s not engaging with them. How do I counter overselling myself and being reserved

[–]tyronethejabrone25 points26 points  (10 children) | Copy

The problem is you are likely diffusing sexual tension by being so talkative. The tingles happen when there are uncomfortable pauses and strong eye contact. Stop worrying about making girls (and yourself) feel comfortable. You legit want her to feel uncomfortable.

Also you come across as trying to entertain them when you are how you describe, and that just demonstrates low value.

[–]millioneuroextreme3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

I read that “gaming the room” is a good idea, and it seems like these two mindsets are opposites. It says to be talkative so women see you as a sociable man, and want you to approach them more. What are your thoughts on this?

[–]tyronethejabrone5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Check out the comment made by u/FieldLine

[–]want2knw0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What was his comment? And what are some examples confident body language when you’re not talking

[–]tyronethejabrone 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Shamelessly read and analyze people. Pick their brains. Toy with them...like you know something they don’t. Amused mastery. Subversive humor. Be engaged and interested yet be aloof and don’t give straight answers. This is social mastery and you will ooze confidence if you execute this.

[–]want2knw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hmm now I understand, how do you think I can convey this same attitude in texting and tinder because on tinder I usually begin with a joke to break the ice and only girls with a sense of humor play along and give goods vibes

[–]oooKenshiooo0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I read that “gaming the room” is a good idea, and it seems like these two mindsets are opposites. It says to be talkative so women see you as a sociable man, and want you to approach them more. What are your thoughts on this?

Gaming the room is for cucks. It is a waste of energy better reserved for pulling sluts.

[–]millioneuroextreme2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ok this got me thinking. Going to college in a bit, what’s the best way to gain a large social circle without seeming like a people-pleasing cuck?

[–]oooKenshiooo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't talk. Do. Be active. Provide value. Have a mission. Lift. Join a sports team. Learn an instrument. Invite multiple girls for hangouts / partys / etc. Bring booze. Always be the guy who can deliver.

[–]want2knw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So how do I imitate without being talkative to get to the point where there is sexual tension, I can’t just arrive and expect there to be sexual tension

[–]Dumblydorewitit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you want to talk to someone, talk to someone. How a pair of tits perceive you should be the least of your worries.

[–]markinsinz70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To be fair you have raised your smv and hence the girls chasing you. One cannot have no smv and just have the 'quiet confident persona' and have girls chasing him.

Yes you don't need girls anymore so you don't care whether they chase you or not but every guy would love to have it easy to get laid - fact.

[–]HurricaneHugues6 points7 points  (10 children) | Copy

Just be quiet. Be less social and more reserved. Spend less time with people and it'll be natural for u. Im not kidding. Think about it. Most the stuff you talk abiut to your friends or with people in general in social situations is just absolute and completely inconsequential nonsense. In general you talk about stuff that, if u REALLY think about it, is completely useless. Most converstions are just filler and fluff stuff to lubricate the social interaction. You're not engagin in anything truly powerful or purposeful, therefore in way, you really are just flapping your damn gums for no reason. Language was invented for the purpose of informational and ideological exchanges between 2 humans. I figured out how to start a fire, I teach u how to start a fire. I figured out this plant has to be cookee before eating, I teach you to cook the plant before eating. That's all lanuage is. So if you are misusing it, you might as well not use it at all.

So again, spend less time with people and you will spend less time flapping your gums about nonsense. Then u will realize that all those "conversations" u used to have were not only not really memorable, but they were very useless as well. Once it becomes normal for u to not speak so much due to the lack of social interaction, it'll also become very natural for u to say far far less in social interactions.

Most people try too hard to be social. They try too hard to have too many friends. And most if not all of those friendships are not even real friendships. You're better off sticking to yourself man

[–]KillaJewels2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being social and using small talk is an inherent part of every social interaction to feel each other out before creating a connection. A good conversationalist picks up on cues, body language and the words of the other person to tie into the next topic and talk about something that interests both parties.

This is bad advice man. You're trying to lead people into autism territory with this. If anyone likes this idea, it's because they are asocial and want to rationalize their behavior.

[–]want2knw0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

But if I’m always alone how can I meet women, I get your comment and agree with a lot of it but it seems that in today’s social interactions you have to play some of the “game” to get the pussy

[–]oooKenshiooo4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

But if I’m always alone how can I meet women, I get your comment and agree with a lot of it but it seems that in today’s social interactions you have to play some of the “game” to get the pussy

You shut the fuck up, stop being a dick salesman and become a pussy magnet instead.

[–]want2knw0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

How do I become a pussy magnet without talking though? There are times where a girl likes me already through previous conversations and when we are in a group and I’m more quiet they always ask what’s on my mind, so I understand the value of being reserved. However I’m curious as to how you build that attraction before talking so much, like I can’t just say hi and just make eye contact and body language, there must be more to pull them in

[–]oooKenshiooo7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

Girls have a word for it: Big dick energy. We RPs call it frame. You really don't need to do a lot once you got frame. Frame comes from developing actual (self-)worth - the easiest way is to lift. Approaching a hundred girls is another way.

It is a bit like driving a car. At first you oversteer, you are afraid of tight parking spots and overtaking almost makes you poop your pants. But once you did it often enough, it becomes second nature. You did not all of sudden ride your car harder - you rode it more efficient.

[–]want2knw 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

What would an example of this be because I’m a very confident and social guy but sometimes girls just don’t get my humor which results in them thinking I’m weird or something

[–]BurnoutRS4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

If youre actually a very confident and social guy then you dont give a shit that a joke you made didnt fly. You're actually being too self aware by considering that "oh I made a joke this girl didnt get and now she must be thinking im weird"

You are focused on the outcome of getting this girl to like you, you use your humour as a mechanism to acchieve this and when you notice it is going poorly you feel more insecure. This in turn chips away at your ability to hold frame.

If one girl doesnt get you and thinks youre weird, move on, she wouldve been a nuisance to you anyways. If all girls misunderstand you and think youre weird... turn inward

[–]want2knw 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah you hit in on the nail. Usually girls who are not smart don’t understand some of my jokes because I use blatant irony and they can’t process it haha. Girls who are smarter really like my humor and play along with it, I guess it’s natural filter as to who I would connect best with.

How do I strike that balance of being funny but reserved when meeting new girls

[–]BurnoutRS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"How do I strike that balance of being funny and reserved..."

You stop thinking about it.

"How do I pass the superficial stuff and get to something interesting"

Im willing to bet money that youre fixated on "interesting conversation" because you think "I gotta find a way to open her up and get to the real her, once we get talking about something interesting thats where I'll seduce her"

You're also relying on the girl to offer up interesting shit. Dont do this. Become interesting yourself. Seriously. Start going out alone and do different things. Find the shit you enjoy. Taking a girl out, should become "dragging along some chick to a bunch of fun shit I was gonna do anyways"

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You can still go out solo or meet friends once in a while

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Congrats, that's my little munchkin 😋😍🥰🤩

[–]Dizmal6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

It’s about authenticity and being congruent in your actions imo and key is avoid slipping up and being mislead by the power of verbal suggestion.. which they throw out to bait you for weaknesses or indicators of low SMV, they want to see you fail if you’re silly enough to get fooled by there attempts to derail your quiet confidence.

Quiet confidence doesn’t work when you actually care.. and this is why they eat up annoying AMOG’s trying there luck when your holding frame strong, because it’s a win win if you break frame and show you care you got outgamed. But on the flipside your disqualifying yourself by not caring so much to the point you aren’t asserting the power and tact your quiet confidence is suggesting you possess, by easily out-maneuvering the interruptions with steeze + amusement. Theres a fine line between quiet confidence and quiet lack-of confidence in the actual extroverted world.

Balance is best. The moment balance is disrupted your being inauthentic in some way shape or form on either end of the scale, and your actions won’t match your attitude, your words will lack meaning, your quietness will lack confidence. You must obviously give no fucks, but get plenty 😈then they will want those precious fucks!

[–]GrandWizardLord-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Could you rewrite this please? It's a bit hard to follow, which sucks for me because it seems like there's a lot of info to learn here.

[–]Dizmal4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. The PC is about 10 steps away and Im quite cosy here. Later maybe

[–]1walawalawa5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is an important post and insight. I find also that prior to understanding Alpha, the Red Pill and its tactical approach through Game I was constantly all about "LOOK AT ME!!!!"

Now I've adopted a much more aloof, selective approach. Amused Mastery. I call it being a Ninja. Stick your neck out when you need to otherwise stop being try-hard.

What you're describing is "inner game" which took me years to fully grasp.

[–]Rkingpin10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Men who are secure in themselves tend to be of few words

[–]PickleWickleton4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think more appropriately, “men who are secure in themselves only speak when they feel like it”

I know some great guys who are alpha and secure while being very sociable and playful around groups of guys/girls. There are times where they’re more quiet but generally there into socializing and laughing.

[–]RiskedCLW4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

" For anyone to love a man, he must be hidden, for as soon as he shows his face, love is gone. "

[–]jokingprice 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Good man. Just smile and wave, boys

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Skipper , is that you

[–]MatrixofLe3adership0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"There's no such thing as too paranoid, Private. Remember that, then forget you ever heard it."

"A friend is just an enemy who hasn't attacked yet."

"What a pathetic excuse for a soldier."

"The only thing I collect are the tears of my fallen enemies."

"Kowalski we'll be rich. The rules of physics don't apply to us."

[–]vazqdavid982 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Definitely have felt this way the more “alpha/red pilled” I’ve become

[–]steed_jacob2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've actually noticed the same thing in myself as I started implementing TRP into my daily life. It's good to get some confirmation that it's working more! I've definitely noticed that my "need" to constantly be socializing is practically reduced to zero.

[–]xx-Rain_Maker-xx2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Learning when not to talk is an important skill most people is not aware of.

[–]addwater2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

100%

Feminine energy is loud, reactive, attention seeking

Masculine energy (generally speaking) is stoic, unreactive, cool, calm, collected

Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, and yes, I too have gone through a similar transition.

It feels good, doesn't it?

I also feel disgusted with how I used to act around others now that I have a new perspective.

[–]QuantumSpecter1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wow, and i thought something was wrong with me. I started worrying about who i was as a person, really being in my thoughts about it.

But i also found outgoing people making the effort to hang with me, or at least keep it cool with me. And i always wondered why, like why would they want to be friends with me. Maybe this is why

[–]raoko1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea your picking up the girls but you can be even more better if you socialize. Networking with the right men can open opportunities, job wise, but good job man. Most of us aren’t even there yet.

[–]urfavoritecrayon1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

when you’re being quiet during a 1 on 1 with a girl, i’m sure it builds tons of sexual tension and makes her work for you. my question is: what do you do with your eyes/head while you’re silent? other than leaning back and chilling, do you look around the room? do you smirk at her the whole time? 50/50?

[–]Dizmal0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I agree. IMO Whatever you would be doing anyway, but slower and with more sensory awareness. Allways face your chest towards her when talking. Or keep your back slightly to them if disengaging. Amused face but slightly bored.

Turn your head and look at them every so often, wait until the moment before there eyes move to gaze at you or you see movement with there head, as they attempt to look back.. Lock your eye contact on there lips/breasts as you slowly move your head the other way(or back on the road lol) and move your eyes up to meet there eyes directly just for the last moment, then continue look away with a coy, small amused smirk that slightly grows, maybe even feint a half nod, as if your thinking about what you gunna do to them for a few seconds.. maybe(actually think about it)

You must get timing downpat but it builds tingles and gets them babbling nonsense while there body opens up. Hands you try kinos incrementally, allways move your hand like your patting a dog or rubbing a sulking childs back, don’t be too firm at beginning, done right they won’t even noticed you been touching them for awhile.. if they let you do this to the inner thigh for an extended period they want to fuck then and there.

I see alot of guys try stretch and put there chest, armpit in there face. But I think it’s corny.

Im No Expert though.

[–]SICFJC2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you don’t know the difference between their and there, no ones gonna take any of that shit seriously.

[–]Dizmal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Too lazy and preoccupied to dress things up because you won’t read between lines. Why take me seriously, discernment can be light hearted.

[–]ThinSpiritual1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same thing for me. It's a sign of growth, because you're spending more time thinking and observing. Reading the side bar is one thing, internalizing the concepts, noticing behavior patterns, and applying those that work for yourself is wisdom. This process naturally requires you to be quieter.

[–]sternje1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Always better to keep your mouth shut and let people assume you're not alpha than open your mouth and remove all doubt. In other words, less is more.

[–]vedster951 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have been trying to find this balance forever, it’s still a struggle for me. How can I go about achieving this like you? Meditation?

[–]EmilCSS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The more you got your shit together, the more quieter you became.

I am the same. From when I became more confident and with a more IDGAF attitude, the more I started to attract girls around me. They like the fact that your more mysterious that way, they don't know almost nothing (if nothing at all) about you and that tingles their curiosiclits.

Also, I noticed that the louder and more a guy speaks, the more he's trying to get validation from other (bragging about everything, trying to validate his points, etc.). That way he's basically eliminating everything that can make him look interesting and that's one of the sure things for a girl to put on her "you're not getting into muh panties" defense.

[–]AndemanMan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Don't you know bad boys move in silence and violence?" - Biggie Smalls

[–]MorpheusSwag1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Sounds like you think about what you're saying a lot, which I guess is a good thing. No way to know how a more talkative you would have done, maybe better

[–]tyronethejabrone7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Did you read the entire post?

[–]MorpheusSwag0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yees

[–]tyronethejabrone4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know I’m sounding condescending here but if you knew what quiet confidence was I don’t think you would’ve made that statement.

[–]Hegemon19840 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Huh, I noticed that about myself. When I force myself to cold approach, I become more outgoing, but I can certainly sense that I'm being a "try hard". I'm sure the girl notices this, too. I'm currently undergoing the "fake it until you make it" mindset which I hear helps ALOT. Just envision yourself as an alpha and your mind will mimic how an alpha acts, talks, and carries himself.

If you're cold approaching as a direct game alpha dude, how would you do it?

[–]thiikn3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here's my summary:

​

- Do the first move and open the conversation, this shows confidence (cold approach)

- If people talk to you, be outgoing and game them (both men and women)

- BUT, don’t start convos just to fill silence, even if your intention is good women will interpret it differently

- When you are withdrawn, have extremely confident body language. Don’t sleep on body language. It communicates more than words.

​

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, it's the shit. I'm exactly the same.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Beta days or not, I've always been quiet initially. I only find that I'm more social to girls that are shy though. Basically cuz they need you to lead a bit more. Then they turn into savages in the bedroom. Man, I love shy girls. But yeah, I've never been a person trying to peacock.

[–]Izzenw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Any book, material or article that I could use to develop this kind of skill ?

[–]someonesopinion69690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

say less than necessary.

the more you talk, the more common you appear

[–]AstuteBlackMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Generally I've noticed that the less you talk the better. When you let them talk more but you're not a shy beta and you emit characteristics of someone who doesn't say a whole lot you look mysterious.

[–]MorpheusSwag0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're right. I know what quiet means, i know what confident means, but I can't figure this one out...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I literally went through the same thing. It's funny because I've always been able to fuck girls to getting into relationships with them no matter how beta or alpha I was. But now I'm finally realizing that I HAVE hit this sweet spot you're speaking of, finally. And now I only get the most COMPATIBLE women.

[–]mickey__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So how did you become more confident and how did you improve your SMV?

[–]Thotasaurus_Rex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm shy but I look very serious. Many people have just taken it as being reserved, calculated, stand offish etc.



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