My experience with the red pill has taught me more about the behavior of women in the last six months than my first 40 years on the planet. I’m QUICKLY learning A LOT on here and in this journey, I want to share my experiences to help and to keep improving on myself. One behavior that I have noticed is what I refer to the MACRO vs. MICRO principle. I will do the best to explain my thoughts and experiences and want to hear your takes and experiences on this subject as well.
Most men experience and do relationships from a MACRO standpoint. I define marco as the big picture, considering things such as overall long-term feeling trends. Examples of this type of thinking are long term personal growth trends, relationship equity (this is a big one), future or forward looking, prioritizing logically, beginning with the end goal in mind and looking at the ALL OVER sum of actions that get you there, and value of personal growth. These traits I describe are all masculine traits that we all strive to gain and develop in our MAPs. For example, if you and I have been friends for a long time, assuming we have a good rapport and trust each other, I can screw up and do something you find offensive, but we can quickly come to a reconciliation and understanding, then move on. You may be pissed at me, but you will look at my past behavior (i.e. relationship equity) and draw your conclusions about me and our friendship based on that. I can count on that and you will value and continue our friendship based on “how good of guy I am and always was.”
Women on the other hand tend to think on a MICRO level. They see interactions and experiences on how it makes them feel in a particular moment AND it’s almost ALWAYS tied to an emotion. For example, if I do something that pisses my wife off and irritates the hell out of her, she will feel like I was ALWAYS bad, ALWAYS behaved like that, and will assume that is the way it will continue. She will rant, she will bitch, and call me an asshole. It doesn’t matter if I was James Bond for the last three years and been “perfect” in every way, if I fuck up in her eyes THAT DAY, I’ve always been a fuck up. Then, days later, I can have fun with her, be playful, show her a great time, and kino effectively (i.e. give her positive feelz), then she’ll fuck my brains out and lay with me afterwards and tell me how much she loves me and wants to be with me forever. This behavior can seem alien to a man, because it is, and we don’t think this way. Women deal in irrationality and in the moment. The way they feel right now is their validation of their entire reality. It is one way this day, and different another.
THAT is a huge reason that arguing with woman in a fit of rage is completely pointless. They honestly don’t give a fuck about your past behavior or how good of a husband you are. They NEVER want to validate you either (I’ve learned that too). They almost seem cruel and downright amoral. I’ve made the mistake in the past of arguing with my wife. DEERing is the absolute WORST thing you can do. It puts you in a position of submission. I admit, I have struggled with this behavior, and still do on occasion. It is a hard one to kick, but it is essential. When you DEER, she sees (in that moment) a weak man… then her female mind draws that conclusion that he’s showing weakness… therefore he must be and has always been weak… I have a BETA bitch on my hands and I’m not fucking that!
That is another reason she will test. Her mind is a turbulent chaos. Our minds can be that way too, BUT most of the time we are able to tell ourselves that what we are feeling in the moment, is NOT an accurate reflection of the MACRO or big picture. We feel the MICRO, but are capable of subordinating that feeling to a value and thinking, “If I act on this, what will that do for the big picture as a whole?” In an example not in the context of marriage, sometimes we’ve all had rageful moments where we’d like to punch our boss in the face for being a dick, but we don’t because we know it would be detrimental to our long-term future. That’s the thing, in the context of your marriage, your wife doesn’t give a fuck OR think about how her negative MICRO or momentary feelings effect you, she just feels the uncontrollable urge to “unload” that on you, so she’ll feel better. That is her nature… accept it if you want to get or stay married. That is the hardest thing for me to understand and wrap my head around.
Women need to feel these emotional swings, in fact they crave it. This concept is called fractionation. It’s ironic that this very chaos, which we as men find baffling, is one key element that gives her the feelz and turns her on. It would torture us, and we’d probably beat someone’s ass for doing this to us, but women need us to do this to them. Those MICRO swings are the fractionation she needs (and your relationship) needs to create interest and desire in her.
I’m going to use another metaphor to illustrate my point. This same universal principle can be seen in the stock market, especially in short term traders vs. long term investors. Most of us think big picture while investing. We invest in good companies and stocks, hold them for a long time and sell them years down the road at a nice profit. This is MACRO or masculine thinking. Assuming it was a good investment in a good company, looking at the chart over a period of years will show an overall uptrend and positive growth. However, if you look closely at and zoom in on the line (daily level), it’s not smooth and always up trending. On a closer or MICRO level (day to day) it may have down trended and lost money over a given short period. For example, If you had solid research and you KNEW the company in which you were investing was solid long term, then you paid attention to and got sucked into the doom and gloom every day drama on the MSNBC and Fox Business channels saying “the stock in XYZ company is down today and yesterday and we don’t know why… traders are dumping it short term and it’s taking a hit.”, you may have gotten emotional and sold at a loss, or not have realized the gains you could get long term.
In conclusion, what I’m trying to say, assuming you have a good wife or picked a good wife (which any woman that is not a BPD or psycho can potentially be a good wife), she is STILL going to throw those MICRO fits and make the stock in your company (i.e. your LTR) take a small down blip. If you give in, panic, and “sell” (i.e. get sucked in and DEER), you will lose. That behavior pattern in investing and in your LTR will make you a loser in the long run. Are there times you would select a stock in your portfolio that you initially thought was good, then for some reason or another changed for the worse, or turned out to be bad company to begin with? Sure, then you’d dump that stock and move on. See your wife or LTR the same. Watch for the long term behavior patterns and discount the short term shit fits. She is a woman. She will throw short term shit fits, but her goal, be it conscious or unconscious, is to validate your strength and leadership. Woman NEED validation, you must understand that. That is why they HATE when you seek that from them. Shit testing is validation seeking. It is a feminine behavior at is core. It embodies insecurity (the opposite of confidence). Women find security and confidence attractive because they are masculine traits. That creates polarity, which leads to long term happiness for both you and your wife.