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Critique my handling of ‘the talk’

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bruiser18
February 10, 2019
142 upvotes
askTRP

Currently spinning 2 plates, only interested in promoting one of them and this isn’t her (she’s fucking other guys, no thanks). I told her before she is free to fuck whoever she wants and I won’t look for anything serious, she must have had a change of heart.

I invited her over to my house, we watched Netflix and fucked. While we’re laying there she brings up ‘the talk’...

Her: “my friends always ask me what we are”

Me: “that’s very cute”

Her: “I don’t know what to tell them though”

Me: “tell them to piss off” smile

Her: “nooo... I don’t want to be just another girl you’re fucking”

Me: I laugh and say “really? That’s sweet, I bet you say that to all the girls”

Her: “I’m serious....”

Me: “okay well I understand, and I told you before, I’m not gonna take things further with a girl who’s seeing other guys. What you do is your business and I’m cool with it, but we’re just having fun”

Her: “I haven’t fucked anyone else in months! I want to take things further with you”

Me: “alright tell you what, because you’re such a cutie, you show me your best good girl behavior for a while, and then I’ll think about it... I’m just not sure you have what it takes”

Her: “I do, I do! I am a good girl”

From what I see it went well. I held frame, established my expectations and made her qualify herself, all while keeping it light hearted and humorous. But I’d like to know what TRP thinks. Anything you’d do different? Let me know. Thanks.


Post Information
Title Critique my handling of ‘the talk’
Author bruiser18
Upvotes 142
Comments 67
Date 10 February 2019 08:11 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/215489
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ap7tqb/critique_my_handling_of_the_talk/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
frameplatethe red pill
Comments

[–]imtheoneimmortal86 points87 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't take her "i never fucked in my laiifff" as 101% granted, look her actions, if she talks with others guys or hang out

Nice answer btw with good behavior good girl

[–]bruiser18[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah definitely, she’ll need to really prove herself for a promotion.

Thanks mate

[–]GGrub8180 points181 points  (18 children) | Copy

All plates fuck other guys behind your back while pretending to be exclusive with you so they can ask for a LTR, that's not the issue here.

The real red flag in this conversation is this:

Her: “my friends always ask me what we are”

Her: “I don’t know what to tell them though”

She already sees you as an accessory to validate herself in front of her friends. A girl who was really into you would say something like "I want to build a life together".

Also confirmed later with this:

Her: “nooo... I don’t want to be just another girl you’re fucking”

Her feelings are on herself, there is zero concern for yours.

She can never be more than a plate, not even a FWB. Lack of empathy needs to be rewarded in the same manner.

​

[–]sea-es-arr60 points61 points  (5 children) | Copy

People don’t usually jump to saying they want to “build a life together” after casually fucking for a while...

[–]Kpwn8825 points26 points  (4 children) | Copy

My wife told me she was in love with me after two weeks of dating. I smiled and kissed her forehead and told her she was cute.

At three months in, she told me she wanted to have my babies. I said, "well plan on having 4 or 5 then"

Granted, I still made her chase me for a long time, and still do. This is how it is when you are high value enough. If a woman sees you as her hypergamous ideal, she will most certainly tell you how much she adores you and will start talking about all the things after casually fucking for a while.

[–]ddiogenesofsinope15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is it, you got it.

Any good marriage or LTR is one where you are always pursuing each other. Never getting complacent. Keeping each other interested and on edge. Its a lifetime of work

Inspirational man

[–]sea-es-arr5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

That’s the exception not the rule

[–]ilovevidya6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's the point.

[–]bruiser18[S] 25 points26 points  (5 children) | Copy

Of course her feelings are on herself. AWALT.

I’m not sure this is as big as you make it out to be. I know she does tell her friends she wants to be with me. I seen her saying “I don’t know what to tell them” as a way of asking me “what are we? What should I tell them?”.

I don’t care if she’s fucking another guy you’re right that’s not an issue. It’s only an issue when she seeks promotion, which I will not give to a non exclusive girl of course, not even FWB.

[–]roadmaptonowhere11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't listen to them on this. You're right. Nothing to see here, just female solipsism in action.

[–]bruiser18[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man

[–]Kpwn883 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

her saying “I don’t know what to tell them” as a way of asking me “what are we? What should I tell them?” protecting her ego because she can't come out and ask you for commitment.

You handled it well. Still, proceed with caution and don't get lazy.

[–]BadDeath2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Isn’t it possible to train this behaviour tho?

[–]markinsinz71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most girls today have fucked too many dudes to bond that well whereby they say the good shit(let's build a life together) to get an ltr.

To go further, you don't want to train a girl to say shit like that. If you want somethin serious then that girl should be the type to say "let's build a life together" (or some shit like that) automatically of her own Accord and feelings. That's when it's genuine.

But like I said a girl could have fucked damn near 50 guys and eventually meet her hypergamous ideal and say "let's build a life together". It's just the world we live in.

[–]classylassy282 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't think it's necessarily lack of empathy ..it screams young and immature which is normal for girls of a certain age... Lol Don't look so deep into it.

[–]bruiser18[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah she’s 18, think the commenter over analyzed

[–]7th_Phantom0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You have to be a special kind of dense to believe that she actually spoke to her friends and that she "needed something to tell them." That was an excuse she made in order to feel comfortable asking about taking things further.

[–]bruiser18[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking obviously. That’s what I said. She’s not trying to find a title to give to her friends, it was an indirect way of asking where she stands with me.

[–]XT3M313 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

i think this went well. shes trying to fight for your validation and commitment. and you know it now. once you know for sure she hasnt been fucking , do your play to promote or not

just know she will ask you again and if you have no plans to commit to her , you will havr to let this plate break at some point. you guys have different end games here and this will clash.

[–]bruiser18[S] 14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah I think now she’s assessed her options and realized I’m the one she wants commitment from (hypergamy, her other guys are prob low value anyway). I’ll continue vetting her and if she really does earn it, she’ll get a promotion. As of now - plate.

Thanks mate

[–]XT3M31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

you know your stuff bro. keep it going just watch out for how fast the talk comes agains and be ready for it

[–]sldksnansb21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t want to be just another girl you’re fucking

As long as you keep it that way until you decide to promote her, It looks ok to me

[–]bruiser18[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Of course. Thanks man.

[–]ProFriendZoner28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

My interpretation of what she said is : "I want you to be the baby daddy"

Make sure you wrap that thing so tight that in 2 weeks it turns into a diamond.

[–]bruiser18[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao no doubt

[–]TheGoldenLeprechaun8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Me: “alright tell you what, because you’re such a cutie, you show me your best good girl behavior for a while, and then I’ll think about it... I’m just not sure you have what it takes”

If she was a man and took you literally this would be fine. But all she heard is what a beta would hear... aka "So you're saying I have a chance?".

You already know you don't want her long term. Is the sex really worth the future headache this will cause? That's a rhetorical question for you to decide. In any case, no decent long term woman is bangin' multiple chads at the same time, so that's that.

My advice? She's gonna blow up your whole spot with the other girl 100% if given half a chance unless you do the slow fade starting right now. Let her wonder why yet another chad doesn't want to commit and release her back into the wild.

[–]bruiser18[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t mind letting her think she has a chance. She’ll want to work for it, she’ll want to be obedient and show me she’s a good girl.

It’s not even that I don’t want her long term, I’m just not open to promotion while she’s not exclusive to me. Should that change, fine. That’s on her.

Thanks for the advice

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t want to be just another girl you’re fucking

Too late.

Me: “alright tell you what, because you’re such a cutie, you show me your best good girl behavior for a while, and then I’ll think about it... I’m just not sure you have what it takes”

Her: “I do, I do! I am a good girl”

How can those chicks be so pathetic? Do they seriously believe they will get anything with that behavior? Don't they ever feel embarrassed with themselves?

[–]bruiser18[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha AWALT my man. These girls are used to soft blue pill dick, so a serving of red pill horse cock sends them into desperation mode. They’ll do anything to keep a high value man.

[–]boy_named_su2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

Good job buddy

How long you been plating her for? Do you want an LTR with her? Red flags?

[–]bruiser18[S] 11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy

Thanks mate

I’ve been plating since summer 2018, though haven’t seen her till today for about a month. Definitely not LTR, I’m open to FWB though. Nothing to do with her, I just don’t want a girlfriend. Only real red flag is that she sleeps around, and I’m not gonna reward a slut with FWB status. Without that, she’s a pretty great girl.

[–]boy_named_su9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you know what you're doing. Good luck brother

[–]WoodWizzy874 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Wait, you haven’t seen her in a month and she brings up the talk? If she’s seeing you once or a couple times a month. I doubt she’d make an effort to talk about you that much to her friends. This sounds like she’s looking for validation. If she was any worth a shit for GF material, she’d be trying to hang out 2-3 times a week, cooking for you, all that gf stuff. The other crux is, “I haven’t slept with anyone”. Which could be true, but... does that include blow jobs, handys? I’d have to vet a long time to trust a gal saying she’s not banging other dudes

[–]bruiser18[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

She hit me up every weekend straight during that month, but I had been busy. Not her fault, otherwise I’d have soft nexted.

You’re right, she will need to be vetted throughly before I even consider it.

[–]classylassy28 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

This is hilarious stuff to read you guys sound like a bunch of women. It's 2019 people f*** get over it guys girls gays everyone fucks.

[–]bruiser18[S] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

How many times do I need to say...

I don’t give a FUCK who she fucks. She can be getting fucked by everyone in the world and I’ll still plate.

But this here is sidebar shit: You DO NOT upgrade a woman who isn’t exclusive to you. I don’t care if she’s fucking anyone else, it just disqualifies her from promotion.

[–]classylassy28 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

I get that but women aren't like that anymore good luck finding one like that it's all about equality if you were exclusive she'll be exclusive. Unless you go to like Thailand and find one of the rare Asian women left but you'll probably still fuck behind your back to.

[–]bruiser18[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

If a woman earns promotion and gives you exclusivity, great. She’s a good girl. I made my boundaries clear: fuck who you want, but no exclusivity. If she wants to do that, great, if not, great.

[–]Wjourney5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy

How is the fact that shes fucking other guys a bad thing? You are fucking other girls too

[–]seemsonormal197913 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her fucking other guys makes her a whore, him fucking other girls makes him a man.

[–]bruiser18[S] 8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

I don’t think it’s a bad thing. However it’s still a thing that is going to stop me from investing in this girl, I’m not taking her beyond plate status.

Do you enjoy sharing things you invest time and attention into?

[–]Wjourney-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

I mean if you make it official she will probably stop

[–]beachbbqlover8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Got it backwards, man.

Horse preceeds cart.

[–]bruiser18[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly

[–]DEVi4TION 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Definitely some double standards going on.. OP doesn't sound like he actually knows what the wants.

[–]bruiser18[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a player on a forum tho so we can validate him.

Came here to flex on you reddit nerds. You see how cool and alpha I am, huh?

Double standards? Bro, I don’t give a shit who she fucks. The point is you DO NOT upgrade a girl who is not exclusive to you. Go read the Bitch Management Guide.

[–]vivid_mind0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

probably

[–]verily_rp5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

A lock that is opened by any key is a shitty lock. A key that opens any lock is a master key.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent job.

[–]verily_rp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her: “I haven’t fucked anyone else in months! I want to take things further with you”

She thinks you're retarded if she thinks you'll buy that. You should poke fun of her for insinuating that you'll take this bait.

Other than that you're good.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

A. If she's just a plate, it shouldn't matter to you that she's fucking other guys. That's what a plate is.

B. In general, you did well in terms of not giving commitment but holding it out, getting her to qualify herself etc.

C. But you've set yourself up for failure. You did break frame, by calling her a cutie and then putting the future in her control, not yours. I've used that "if you're a good girl then I'll think about it" line many times. It always leads to verbalisation of expectations that I don't intend to meet, it leads to compromise and it leads to further drama down the road. Her emotions are her problem. It is better to break a plate than to lie to her. Spin her as long as you can, but consider her broken.

[–]bruiser18[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A. I don’t give a shit if she’s fucking other guys. I’m just saying because of that, she will only remain a plate.

B. Thank you

C. I see your point but I don’t completely agree. I done exactly as HSP’s ‘How to tease bitches’ guide says - treat her like a child. She’s looking for a serious conversation, and I’m telling her she’s a cutie and ‘we’ll see’. And I’m not saying it’s not gonna happen, I’m open to it. If she does behave like a good girl, then why not she’s earned it. If she doesn’t, who gives a fuck, I still plate.

[–]drakehfh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How would you have replied to C?

[–]MajIssuesCaptObvious0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I say let her go if you know she's not good promotion material. 1, you don't know if she's really fucking other guys. 2, if she's going to try hard and be let down anyway, she's gonna go psycho on you. Then you got another mess on your hands.

[–]RedSkeller0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Gold standard of the talk, well done.

[–]1walawalawa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Her: “I haven’t fucked anyone else in months! I want to take things further with you”

Hypergamy in one sentence. She left out "...but I could have..."

You handled it perfectly. Stop obsessing over that.

Now you have to decide where she fits into your soft harem.

One of my plates keeps telling me "I love you..." I just say "Of course you do..." or "What's not to love?"

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lol, I'm sure you said all that.

And if you did, why do you need ppls help? This isn't even a question

[–]bruiser18[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because I want to show all you reddit nerds how cool and alpha I am.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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