Received break up text today from girlfriend, too much dread/alpha? Is in her beta PMS phase

Reddit View
February 10, 2019


first off, english and metrics are not my natural operating default :D.

  • Write down your stats (height, weight, bf%, lifts). You are keeping a journal of your workouts right?
  • 6'1, 167 lbs, 13 %, lift since 8 years (132 db press, 330 deadlifts, 66 lbs curls one arm, 209 lbs bench press

Side bar books read:

  • Gorilla Mindset: cognitive strenght is key
  • NMMNG: I am my own cognitive place of origin
  • The Way of the Superior Man: not ashamed of my masculin energy
  • Rational Male, Year One: AF/BB, hypergamy
  • 48 Laws of Power (not finished): be tactical in everything you do
  • How to Win Friends and Influence People: too long ago unfortunatly
  • The Way of Men: Men value other men who add value
  • The Manipulated Man: opened my eyes to what really is going on, changed my whole learned perspective of man/women interctions

  • Get your testosterone levels checked and write them down:
  • have not done it yet, but take cold showers, do the keto diet since 8 months and work out fasted, also do a lot of compound lifts at the gym, try to not masturbate

  • Write down your ratio of sexual initiations/rejections:
  • you can't divide through zero :D, no rejections ever

  • Write down the number of women besides your wife you could call right now to chill this weekend
  • 2 hell yes, 1 most definitely

  • Shit, write down the name of the last girl you flirted with who isn't your wife
  • Tanja

  • Write down how many days over the past 15 you have actively gamed your wife
  • 15

  • Write down two things you do that make you a good catch
  • engineer, 2 very good running side businesses

  • Write down what you would do today if you did not have a wife/kids to go home to
  • Lift, dinner, chill with friend, take care of my car

  • Write down what Dread Level you are on
  • 8

  • Write down how many more months you have to go until you are an attractive man with options
  • 0

Now on to my question. I am 32, she is 24. I own two businesses who do fairly well and study for my second engineering degree in automotive engineering. She is a dietary advisor at a health clinic. Her face is very beautiful, but unfortunatly her tits are so heavy that they already hang a bit. I say that, because I think that could be the reason why she maybe has some smaller problems with this part of her appearance and why she might feel below my SMV.

I know her since july last year. I made her my gf in the beginning of december. I went into the relationship with a strong frame, having had abundance before and while I met her (vetted every girl for potential gf material and she came out on top). I still of course have girls on the side I could branch over in an instant. I actively game my gf and am naturally very physical with her.

4 weeks ago, I came upon Rollos post and his video about womens PMS cycle. I started tracking hers and it worked wonders when she was in her ovulating phase. I did not even had to iniciate sex. I fucked her very hard and she liked it as far as I can tell. Today she is on day 26, that means deeply in her beta needs/don't leave me phase. Me and her were sick for the beginning of the week, so I bought her some red roses and asked her if she needed anything from the store (we both don't live together and are approx. 55 miles apart). Also, and this is important, on monday was her dead mothers birthday. So that all put her down emotionally this week. When I was at her place on wednesday, I tried to slide in a bit of beta. Sidenote: We had a discussion 6 weeks ago that she wants more contact wit me (via telephone), she always complaines about that she doesn't know what I am doing over the day although I tell her but also hold stuff back so the novelty does not wear of and keeps me interesting in her fantasy (light dread). On Wednesday she openly complained about my macho behaviour and that one does not always has to act hard. Fuck her.

So her sister stayed at her place from friday till today, because they were on a concert of some beta hipster band (I listen mainly to Slayer, Iron Maiden, Pantera and the like). That, her sister, cycle and the birthday of her mother probably made her write me a lenghtly text this morning, that she doesn't envision this sort of relationship.

Intended course of action: I was leaning on the side of more alpha on Wednesday, but I think I, even if I am in amused mastery on the inside, have to tell her some bullshit ala giving her some feels.

Reason why I want to keep it going with her: she also rides motorcycles and finding an attractive girl at that age with similar believes is not that easy and with the motorcycle hobby we could combine holidays and riding.

Open to all suggestions.

Sorry I have not contributed too much yet, as I am very busy with juggling 2 businesses a full time courseware at uni.

Post Information
Title Received break up text today from girlfriend, too much dread/alpha? Is in her beta PMS phase
Author MartinVDK91
Upvotes 7
Comments 94
Date 10 February 2019 04:59 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy

Shutting this down now. Martin has got all the advice he needs. Everything else is just circle jerking.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret10 points11 points  (18 children) | Copy

Is she worth it? If so, why are you listening to her words idiot. She just needs comfort and you've been restricting it artificially. No wonder she felt the need to send you this op-ed. How long have you been reading red pill style material?

Is she not worth it? If so who gives a shit. Delete your stupid post and move on.

[–]MartinVDK912 points3 points  (17 children) | Copy

You are absolutly right. Fuck.

Does op-ed stand for opposite editorial, some opinion thread?

Yes, she is. How could I possibly show her that I won't leave? I don't know.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret3 points4 points  (16 children) | Copy

Op-ed is what I call the long text messages and emails women send when they want to one-way assault you with their feelz. It is an invitation to fight veiled as "being open".

Remember that they want to fight you, but they don't want to win. Op-eds are a signal to comfort them, but be a fucking man about it.

Literally, definition is:

An op-ed, short for "opposite the editorial page" or "opinion editorial", is a written prose piece typically published by a newspaper or magazine which expresses the opinion of an author usually not affiliated with the publication's editorial board.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy

Thanks man! Yes, she is worth it. I also tryied to always have her beeing slightly more interested in me than I am in her (basic RP stuff).

How could I possibly show her that I won't leave? (I guess that's what she is afraid of the most and that I would only come over for banging :D). I do think I could build something bigger with her. She comes from the countryside, so all AWALT besides (we know it doesn't matter when it comes to sluttyness where she comes from), she displays some good values I have not found in city girls yet.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret3 points4 points  (12 children) | Copy

Those smilies are making me hate you. You're asking questions with her as the point of origin which is 101 level mistake territory.

Answer this question: when did you discover RP material? You smashed through a lot of books but driven people tend to do that.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But yeah, you are right. It's how I should change to cater to her needs of comfort. My possible way on with that would be to tell her she shot very quickly from the hip during a week of an illness and her mothers thing. She might regret what she wrote. I don't know.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

No, I am my point of origin. It's my way or the highway. She knows that. I tell her what we do on any given day. Me captain, she helper.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy


[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

4 years ago. Started with MGTOW. Than discovered Rollo.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret9 points10 points  (7 children) | Copy

Here is her value proposition according to you:

  • she fucks you

  • she rides motorcycles

Doesn't sound at all special to me.

Let's be clear - her and her sister had a giant "Martin is a fucking asshole" fest while you were gone. This is what women, especially related women, do. Their favorite pastime is henpecking and sowing seeds of doubt when even the tiniest "infraction" occurs. So now that we've established the why....

You are not your mental point of origin. You would not be asking me "what can I do to show her I am not gonna leave her?" if you were. Instead, you would not have made this post at all.

Here is my cut and dry advice: if you life is truly my way or the highway, tell her this and not via text.

"I understand it can be frustrating when it seems I am constantly my own first priority. This is because I AM. I require a partner who looks at what I've built and says "I want to get on the ride!" IF that's not you, no hard feelings. If this is a temporary bit of insecurity, I'd urge you to think about why we got together. I'm sure you'll find the right answer FOR YOU."

This is a neatly wrapped bow of "take it or leave it" in a compliance test. You say you have options....if she leaves, who cares?

[–]MartinVDK911 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

I want to thank you firstly for this response! Your tag is well earned!

For the value proposition, mmmmh, she also displays some conservative values which a value and because we both grew up in small villages we share these similar believes when it comes to family and the like.

You are absolutly right. I would have known what to do, if my MPOO would be 100 % me.

She knows, she isn't first priority. I am not 100 % it's my way or the high way, I'd say 85 %.

I don't care to much if she leaves, but I am 32 and don't want to have kids when I am 36 or so. A lot of other people my age already have kids.

[–]mrp_awakening1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

From her breaking up with you and you chasing her like a puppy, I'm not seeing how you have her slightly more interested than you.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am not chasing her like a puppy. Right now she is writing me multiple line text messages, wheras I answer with some 2 or 3 word replys. Sorry, but I think you really get me wrong. If she ever would come crawling back, I'd date her a week, than break up with her, because somebody else fucks me better than her or something along the lines of this for shits and giggles, which actually is true, there is someone who fucks better and actually will put it in her ass the next time I see her. Sorry for my english.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy

The only answer to that text is “OK,” or better yet talk in person.... and the say “OK” and STFU. Witness the hamster.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I wouldn't even put the "O" in there, too much effort. My response: "k". No capitals either, that would require two presses.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Even better: Thumbs up. One button.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Lol, nice

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha, great. Have done the exact same thing last year to an ex, after her womansplaining. Great shit.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks Bobby for chiming in! A moderator.

Ok, so yeah, I'd say "OK" (I don't really have to lie about it, as there are options but not so great ones right now as her, but will certainly come soon) and than show her that I can comfort her? (isn't actions before words what STFU means?)

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’m not suggesting comfort based on that text. I’m suggesting you say “OK,” and then literally STFU. See how she behaves. I wouldn’t add comfort until I see how she acts once her hamster starts going... and it will. There’s no cut and dry answer here, so any follow up questions to what I gave you are irrelevant until you do what’s suggested, and then maybe do a follow up post reporting her behavior.

Suggested sidebar reading:

“Practical female psychology for the practical man”

This book is very pertinent to your situation

[–]Brucebruce900 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Is this book only available on Kindle? I couldn't find the paperback, even on Amazon...

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Available as epub.

[–]slackbladerered1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Wow so much analysis. Your goal is you. Why are you fretting about her feels. I don't believe in the period tracking shit. She'll want you or not. Thats dependent on you to make sure you remain who you are for you.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I always stayed true to myself. That's why I found it hard to cater to her comfort needs.

All this could very much be this period shit. She was completly different in the "alpha cycle".

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, after going back to Rollo I now know that I would not have asked that question if I was my own MPOO.

[–]Captain_pants41 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy

She sent you a breakup text. MOVE ON. The only relationships worth being in are the ones where the women adore you.

Chad is probably already in the picture, but don’t fret over this. She just gave you the kick in the ass you need to go get a better chick

[–]MartinVDK911 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

Fuck man, I am her Chad. I can get better chicks, most defo.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

The fact that chad is balls deep in your exgf ass at the moment says otherwise.

[–]MartinVDK912 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Maybe I have left something out. I have side bitches I fuck. She doesn't know about.

[–]DeplorableRay1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Hahah yep just a small piece of information you left out there - fucking seriously?

Realistically you have a plate that is 55 miles away not a GF or wife - fuck why are you even posting just let the plate drop and go find another one.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

She asked last december what we are. I vetted her out of 6 to 7 girls at that time. That's why it isn't sooo easy to fuck herin the sense of letting it slide. It's like you have worked for something and went through shit for it, the will to just easily let that go (be it a job, possesion e.g.) isn't as easy as for something that has no value for you and you have not worked hard on. But I take this whole thing as a big learning opportunity to invest in some good suggested reading, really reading Rollos first book throughout and growing as a masculine men in our bleak times today haha.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Dude you have a major case of oneitis which if you truly are spinning plates is impressive. Why the fuck would you invest your time in someone who isn't showing value and is showing low interest? Maybe its a test, maybe not but in either case the solution is the same you pull away and withdraw your time / attention.

Also read up on sunk cost fallacy which will be an eye opener for you. I've been with my wife for 17 years - almost longer together in this world than not - she gets some leeway because of that but sure as shit if she doesn't provide value to me or come around then I won't have a second thought about walking away.

Time is the one thing on this earth that you can never get back - don't squander that shit.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She brings me a lot of gifts, sends me postcards from where she was, gave me a chrismas gift with a personal card. She cooks for me. Keeps herself in shape, takes care of her wardrobe. Always wrote a huge chunk of texts and has always been the first who initiated text conversations. She gives great blowjobs every time I have sex with her and I actually face fucked her the last time. She as well asks me what she can do to please me when we have sex.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Give me a U

Give me a N

Give me a I

Give me a C

Give me a O

Give me a R

Give me a N

What does that spell!!!!!

Shes a LDR fuck buddy dude not sure what else to tell you.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What I also might add, she's the first-born between her sisters. They tend to want to be the captain of the ship a lot of times. When we went into the city the last time, she even let me drive her car. I found that to be a great act of trust as Rollo had previously described, he had the same experience with his wife, when they were dating.

But yeah, seemed like she tried to get to the steering wheel although I had longer term plans. She's like a mother to her siblings.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well these are the things she does because of me, because I expect them from her.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

55 miles is a LDR IMHO

Nothing else matters in this post.

[–]MartinVDK911 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks red for the reply!

Yes, you are right and probably in the future I would not be so happy to drive 110 miles to and back everytime as I am now or was in the beginning.

[–]Captain_pants41 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like you don’t really give a shit that she’s moving on. Good for you. Embrace the higher quality to come

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh yes,and it takes less and less times. That is the beauty of abundance mentality I kept up during the relationshit. I explained above, why it wasn't as easy to letting that one go. Vetted her out of 6 to 7 girls last year.

Me thinks, she might got the wind of that I keptmy options open and she wanted more comitment from me. But also the time needed to keep the other ones happy, takes away the time you have for her.

I also always put off phone notifications and so on. Could also be I once didn't logged out fully out of the dating app I met her. Beginner mistakes, I know. Dummy phone next time.

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're the prize, but she got into your head.

Silver lining.

She rides bikes and you are her only value adds to your life.

If she wants space, give her untethered Clooney in Gravity levels of space.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Silver lining. Before her, I especially was looking for somebody who likes motorbikes. I had always the believe, as it is between men, that shared interests or hobbies are a great basis for a great relationship. And when you are a motorcyclist, you inherently display similar characteristics. But it maybe is like how it is in womans and mens love, different, that riding a motorbike means something different for women than for us. But I still think that there are commonalities. We e.g. also do it to get a woman. For me it is definitely like that. It makes you more interesting, although the love for motorbikes of course came long before.
Thanks for your input!

[–]MartinVDK911 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Update #1:

I suggested meating up tomorrow at 19 o'clock. She said we can telephone. I tell her "It's a bit much, all of a sudden." She says 'she made her decision'. Called her suggestion to just call stupid and turned the phone to flight mode as I was already in bed. Fuck that.

Reading "Practical female psychology for the practical man" right now as per recommendation as opposed to sleep hahaha.

[–]meaningintragedy4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

You say you have abundance mentality and have chicks on the side, but here you are pursuing her after she broke up with you.
You have issues. Go fix them.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I explained it in the text, why it's not so cut and dry as you portray it. Have you read the whole text?

[–]MartinVDK91-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I vetted her out of 6 to 7 girls last year. It's easier letting go of something you worked an hour on than a day.

[–]mrp_awakening1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I suggested meating up tomorrow at 19 o'clock. She said we can telephone. I tell her "It's a bit much, all of a sudden." She says 'she made her decision'. Called her suggestion to just call stupid and turned the phone to flight mode as I was already in bed. Fuck that.

Another shit test followed by compliance on your part. And now she's got you chasing her like some prize. You are seriously delusional if you're calling yourself an alpha. Fix yourself rather than chase this one chick.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I want to see the hamster spin. It's over for me. At this point I am just in for shits and giggles. Already have lined up other prospects.

I want that one-on-one. That's the only thing. I don'tplan to get together with her. Maybe a week if she comes crawling and than break up over somebody who fucks me better than her straight to her face after sex. But that's far down the road hahaha.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I'm just going to put this out here.

One of the reason you like this woman is because she rides a motorcycle, yeah? Bad call. Women who ride are always fucked up in the head for some reason. Makes sense on some level - riding motorcycles is a very masculine thing to do.

What you want is a woman who will ride bitch with you all across Europe and back. Then you can have your holiday on your moto, you get to take a good looking accessory along, and she gets to get her thrills and feelz from being your +1.

What's that you say? You have a 650 Japanese sport bike and can't take a passenger? Go get a proper motorcycle to add to your fleet. There's no sin in having more than one.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Have 5. R1 Yamaha being the king. Thanks for your comment. The karma people have seriously tell what stuff they write.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The karma people have seriously tell what stuff they write.

I don't know what that means.

I hope 1 of your 5 is some sort of cruiser then that allows you to carry passengers. If so, you're set. Then you just let this current one go and find a chick who has never been on a bike before. You'll be able to give her tingles she never knew she could get.

P.S. - go get an S1000RR.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Already test drove it. Yes, it is a beast. One day I'll get one. Until than the R1 has to keep up with me throwing her around on one or the other racetrack.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, I explained it in a response above. I though she leaned towards the still compliance side of these red flags, because all was very subtle and thought through (two small tattoos with her dead mothers birthday; at this point IDGAF if she or anyone she knows would ever read that) as she is quiet intelligent and showed,at least to me some proper conservative values. But as we all know, they are all actors until they feel save to come out with their real face, and her social-justice sister who is a social worker was the push for that.

I truly converted my "has to have this" list from chick who rides herself (there are of course many more points hahaha), to chick who enjoys riding bitch.

I do have an adventure bike as well. So that should not display any problems, although I could also picture myself on a fat cruiser, beeing smug as a MF hahaha.

[–]ManguZa0 points1 point  (26 children) | Copy

Can't say much without the actual text, but if she just expressed some doubts and not really break with you you should stfu until she talk about it face to face, if she ever does. If that happen (probably her sister's influence) let her talk, ask her what sort of relationship she envision, and answer that you'll think about it then stfu.
And think about it. What you absolutely want, what you absolutely refuse, what you can accept.

[–]MartinVDK911 point2 points  (25 children) | Copy

Here is the actual text:

"I've been thinking a lot lately - and I've been mentoning these things to you lately, hoping something will change - about what's good for me and what I consider important in a partnership.
I think we are both very different and have different views what makes a relationship. Just as the whole thing is going on between us right now, that definitely does not make me happy! I do not want to and can not do that anymore. I just do not imagine a happy partnership like that. I just realized that I needed a different kind of partnership than the one we are currently having.

The whole thing makes no sense to me in the long run, so I want to end this with us!

You're great the way you are, we had a great time and really experienced beautiful things together, but that's just not enough for me. That just does not fit in the long run.

Do not be angry with me - I do not find it that easy - but what was between us the last days and weeks had nothing to do with a serious relationship for me. The feelings are simply not enough. I'm not feeling well the last days and I just do not want to burden myself with it anymore. Please accept this."

Hard next?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Can't be bothered to find the post detailing why, but you never ask for her reasons for wanting to break up, and you never try to convince her to stay.

"Ok, I enjoyed my time with you. My condolences once again on your mom's passing." is the correct response.

[–]MartinVDK911 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's not so cut and dry. I'll apply itiswr1ttens strategy to make myself my mental point of origin and see what she says. Take it or leave it so to say.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I now see your rationalization hamster has taken control, and you're only here to try to get us to agree with you to pursue her. Not gonna happen bro-sef.

I stand by letting her go, she'll maybe come back and still respect you, but if you chase after this, you're just weakening your position.

[–]MartinVDK912 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You got me. I will let her go, becaus, as you say, this is probably the only way she might come back. Thanks anyway.

[–]SuperCrazy072 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

This sounds like the crap girls pull when they want to see how invested you are.

You falling all over yourself to appease her isn’t a good long term strategy. I did that and it just got me 6 months of fighting ending in her cheating.

I think you just say “ok” and be ready to let her go. If you really provide the value you say, she might rethink her decision. Or, she might leave.

It’s really out of your control. Just keep doing what you’re doing and another will be along soon enough.

[–]MartinVDK911 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok, yeah, I don't want to give in. I provided the bitch with flowers and asked to do some grocery shopping for her, even as I was sicker than her! Fuck her shit.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Could you expand a little bit on "if I provide the value I say"? I think she knows the value. I have a close circle of friends, girls we go out to party with, a great degree, interesting hobbies, good ties to my primary family especially my father (where a lot of alpha comes from; no I am not yet there fully, I promise I read!), 2 businesses, fit as fuck, get into street fights regular (well one could argue that haha, but it definitely makes the panties wet, because I win them all due to boxing training)

[–]SuperCrazy070 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

“The value you say”...

There’s something off to your story. You’re describing yourself as a fit, fun, successful man with options, but your behavior is that of someone with no options and/or who doesn’t think he can do better.

The person you’ve described yourself as could easily get another girl. Plenty of girls like motorcycles (which, as best I can tell, is your big attraction to this one).

The successful posters who have internalized the concepts are less concerned about their wives of many years leaving than you are about your gf of two months.

PS-getting in street fights isn’t alpha or attractive. It’s one thing for a girl to feel safe because her man is strong and can handle himself, it’s a turnoff when her 32 yo boyfriend is getting in fights all the time.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, I do think I can do better and maybe she knows this as well. I had it in the past, that we were out in a club. Made out with 2 girls and had 3 numbers in 1.5 hours and everybody saw that in the club. We flirted we one of the girls friends heavily but unfortunately lost contact with these particular girls. My theory here was, that we were "too" successful, too Rambo that night, so they shut us down before we would, in their minds. Never heard of them again (girl a buddy made out and mine). The other girl I didn't bother, because we were more interested in these ones.

I got a new haircut (crew cut, mega in right now, everybody who is great with girls has it) and my theory is somewhat the similar. Maybe she felt that there are sides in the picture.

I do need to internalize more concepts. That became clear to me.

[–]mabden2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hard next?

Yes, she gave you the hard next.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I want that one-on-one. I am already done with her. I want to see the hamster spin!

This takes actually even less and less time hahaha.

[–]ManguZa0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy

She's not specific and don't try to work things out (moreover she break by text which is an automatic hard next imo) . Let her go.
But maybe her grief are real, think about what she talk about earlier (you only talk about more contact and controling your day which is bullshit, something else?) and how you can be better next girl.

[–]testy680 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The text makes it a hard next for me.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

Can you expand on what you mean by her grief?

[–]ManguZa0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Well maybe there are really things that you do that was honestly bad with her and that you need to provide more comfort in the relationship (not saying being a beta).

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'd be interested what the others would have to say to this.

[–]ManguZa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's simple enough. Alpha behaviour ok, dread ok, but if there are never any comfort she'll think that you don't care about her and leave, so you must use comfort now and then too (when she's doing great).

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

@Manguza What are you doing here? You are a women I saw from other posts. Mods? Fucking hell.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ok, Martin, slow your roll.

I don't know if /u/ManguZa is a woman or not. At this point it doesn't really matter for two reasons:

  1. Women can post here so long as they don't give shitty blue pill advice.
  2. /u/ManguZa is actually giving you decent advice: decide what you want, tell your girl that, and let the chips fall where they may. You'd do well to listen.

[–]ManguZa-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

Lol. First i'm a guy, second why a woman shouldn't be allowed on MRP?

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Explain this.

For the same reason there have been men-only clubs for hundreds of years. Seeing that younhave no idea for why that would be the case shows me you're lacking some crucial understanding about all of this here. Ratted yourself out.

[–]ManguZa0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I'm not English native and that pronoun escape me xd, i'll correct this.
Otherwise your opinion seem so obvious that you can't find one argument do back it up, wp.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Your hamster is spinning.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To clarify, women are NOT allowed on r/MRP. We are more lenient here on r/askMRP, but barely.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You can probably take control of this woman, question her to get the information you need, and then tell her how it is going to be.

What is the information you need to fix it? I don't know that but you probably do know already.

There is no discussion of fee fees over texts. Find out what is going on from the hamsters mouth.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, I am on that. What exactly do you mean by getting the information I need? The reason behind this shit shit of an op-ed?

[–]mrp_awakening0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

So many shit tests, and so much DEERing.

We had a discussion 6 weeks ago that she wants more contact wit me (via telephone)

Shit test.

she always complaines about that she doesn't know what I am doing over the day

Shit test.

On Wednesday she openly complained about my macho behaviour and that one does not always has to act hard

Shit test.

That, her sister, cycle and the birthday of her mother probably made her write me a lenghtly text this morning, that she doesn't envision this sort of relationship.

Shit test.

I was leaning on the side of more alpha on Wednesday, but I think I, even if I am in amused mastery on the inside, have to tell her some bullshit ala giving her some feels

Shit test is working. She's making you fall more into the oneities trap, increasing commitment, and increasing beta behavior at the price of alpha behavior. No wonder shit testing frequency is up.

Fuck her.

Shit test is working. You're getting angry and dipping into a pattern of reacting to her frame. Increasing commitment, and sacrificing alpha DGAF behavior.

Dude, you're getting shit tested left and right. You're failing them... sometimes intentionally. You're overthinking the need to increase beta behavior and doing so at the expense of alpha. That's a losing strategy. She questioned your macho frame, and you just backed off and basically told her you've been faking it. Goodbye tingles. Goodbye feelz. If you've only been seeing her long distance, for a few months and you nuked the tingles/feelz, no wonder she's looking to break up. You can't take her words at face value either. What really happened was she got bored, and now she's rationalizing her feelz.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

And how have I not passed almost all of them? Look what Rollo says in his explanation of the pms cycle. That women crave a little bit more beta in 50 percent of her cycle. She gets enough tingles by not knowing exactly what I am doing, but knowing that I go out frequently. She doesn't know me fully and that gets on her nerve.

The opposite was actually true. I came away from her emotionally because of my side bitches I fuck.

Her sister is a social worker and leans massively on the feminist side. I know exactly what the indoctrination was on the weekend and 100 % not because she is bored.

[–]mrp_awakening0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That's cool... you're asking for help because something's obviously wrong, but when issues are exposed you deny them and say you're doing everything right. If everything were right, why are you even here?

And how have I not passed almost all of them?

By clearly showing incongruence when faced with shit tests. Your typical attitude is macho, but she can get you to completely drop that and qualify to her when she starts shit testing you. It shows you're not really alpha and it's a facade, which is the whole purpose of shit testing in the first place.

Look what Rollo says in his explanation of the pms cycle. That women crave a little bit more beta in 50 percent of her cycle.

A bit more beta. It means keep the same level of alpha, but be a bit more comforting at times. The correct answer to a shit test is always alpha though. Bring the beta out on your terms. Flowers, time commitment, small gifts (nothing too $$$), cuddling, "talking" etc... but frame it as something you're doing because you want to. Never do beta and frame it as a means to make her less upset, or to frame it with the expectation of anything in return (covert contract... could be anything from sex, to her not breaking relationship, to good behavior, etc...).

She gets enough tingles by not knowing exactly what I am doing, but knowing that I go out frequently. She doesn't know me fully and that gets on her nerve.

So you're a shady beta now. That's worse than just beta... chicks care about infidelity more because of you potentially giving resources to another woman, and beta's win chicks through giving resources. No wonder she wants to call things off. Alphas are sometimes (though not always) given a pass on infidelity, because money isn't being spent on another woman and it's just sex.

The opposite was actually true. I came away from her emotionally because of my side bitches I fuck.

See above.

Her sister is a social worker and leans massively on the feminist side. I know exactly what the indoctrination was on the weekend and 100 % not because she is bored.

And that's exactly why you needed to respond with alpha. Your wife sees not only that you got dragged into her frame, but now you're being dragged into her sister's frame. At this point, she's wondering what woman can't drag you into their frame? How "macho" are you really if you're living in everyone's frame but your own?

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's not my wife! Title!

Somehow for you everything is a shit test it seems, as also reading other replys,

A lot sounds tbh very book smart, but not practically tested and therefore meaningless when you sayit, eventhough somebody has written these things once who clearly has combined both.

And yes, as we have not been together long and this was the first beta PMS cycle, with me in the knowing, I had to calibrate last week. So probably it wasn't there yet 100 %. As soon as I noticed I was intentionally beta-ish, I went back to beeing normal alpha and she actually responded well, because she didn't know the calibrating beta behaviour.

Fuck her sister. She is not together with her.

How am I beeing shady beta by letting her guessing? This is even in the

The Sixteen Commandments Of Poon

You probably should go back and read rules 5 and 6.

I do criticize where I think it is appropriate. You get karma points for a thoughtout post. Yours, sorry to say, just seemed like a try-hard, trying to get karma points by overly criticising. For somebody who can't control his wifes shit tests, I don't understand how one than criticised others. And who mixes up fundamentals like wife and girlfriend even though it is written bold in the title, I can't take seriously tbh, sorry.

[–]mrp_awakening0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was suggesting that being shady while alpha is a turn on. Being shady while beta is a turn off. You threw in way too much beta and its backfired.

[–]Imaginary_Historian0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If a girl rides, it's almost always because she had a guy in her life who rode and she got into it to get closer to the guy. Sounds great, but do you really want a girl like that? A girl who rides doesn't seem very feminine to me.

Now if you get another girl who rides on the back of your bike? That is a position of power. You are literally taking her life in your hands, she is 100% submissive there. Why wouldn't you want that instead?

I won't even get to the other stuff, just saying, you got oneitis with this girl, get over it.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She doesnt ride yet! She decided she wants to get her license after we got together! Will be finished soon. Sorry, wasn't so precise with it.

[–]takobozu-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

She dumped you and probably fucking someone else already. Time to move on.

[–]MartinVDK910 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Probably not. I know her phone ;) Call me an asshole, but I have sides, because I heard and experienced to much dark shit the last years women are capable of doing. I am keeping it with Patrice O'Neal on this one.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter