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Italian women seem like a nightmare to date/meet. Is this common or I'm in the wrong place?

Reddit View
February 4, 2019

I'm an Argentinian guy living in northern Italy. I frequently travel back to Argentina to visit family and friends, so I get to meet women in both countries.

My experience has been polarizing: Italian women in the north seem to be cold as fuck. I'm not talking about just lack of attraction alone, but also attempts to shut down normal social connections with guys.

The only difference I've noticed is when the guy is really a catch, otherwise, they look down on you. Even women who you'd think are in your league treat you like you are not, and prefer to end up lonely rather than spend time with you.

Things in Argentina couldn't be more different. Every time I go there, women are instantly warm to you. Sure, you need to talk to them first most of the time, but they don't look down on you like you are an out-of-place anomaly.

I flew to Argentina last week and things went as expected. It's the kind of place where meeting women doesn't seem like an uphill battle. I flew back to Italy two days ago, and I instantly got depressed by the coldness, lack of warm, detached behavior. It's like a nightmare sometimes.

Do any of you guys been to Italy? Is this common? Or, better yet, is the warmer behavior of women on southamerica common?

Putting it differently, are there places like the ones I'm describing in Italy?

Post Information
Title Italian women seem like a nightmare to date/meet. Is this common or I'm in the wrong place?
Author martinx89
Upvotes 72
Comments 86
Date 04 February 2019 09:37 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

[–]_Ulan_ 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Italians guys are HUNGRY, so you are not the first one to try her.

Mediterraneans don't tend to grant much value to south Americans, depends on your looks and body language.

Depending on the type (and IQ) of chicks you go for, average Mediterranean girls usually live with their parents until very late and will only sleep at a guy's place if they show a bit more than being well dressed & holding frame frame. French, Swiss, Italians and Spanish guys set the bar quite high in terms of expectations. Someone with a interesting job, or some talent or a high social position. Anything that is an actual proof of social value, rather than "pretending high SMV" with attitude and clothes.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mediterraneans don't tend to grant much value to south Americans, depends on your looks and body language.

i guess it's mostly that

[–]rugged794 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


But I think he's talking about cold approach. So the social value isn't strong yet.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]theWZAoff63 points64 points  (8 children) | Copy

Don’t worry, this is pretty normal in Italy. Our girls are the most difficult.

They like to play the long game, so don’t be too discouraged if you feel like they’re shutting you out. They like a man who tries and doesn’t give up easy (within reason of course).

[–]imtheoneimmortal6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy

Not all time, I hang out with a girl fidanzata (ltr 2,5) and I got her at my couch

So not all are difficult it depends how you approach them

[–]Sitchnatio4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

L'Italia è un disastro sul piano relazionale, strapieno di Chad.

Every girl is approached very often by GL guys in Italy.

[–]imtheoneimmortal-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

What’s GL? Che intendi strapieno di Chad? Ragazzi che ci provano o troppi “alpha”?

[–]Sitchnatio-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Troppo alpha...i classici super estroversi che sanno creare tensione sessualr e sono sempre a caccia

[–]imtheoneimmortal-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Beh meglio, modello per imparare da loro

[–]ReformSociety9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get a room, you two.

[–]rugged7937 points38 points  (17 children) | Copy

What's your SMV? Do you have resources?What's your age? Could be culture shock. I've got some of my highest scores in Europe.

You also probably need to tweak your game from South American to European. In Italy depending on where you go, things can be slow. If it's a major city, you should be in good shape and dressed in better clothing than in most countries. It doesn't mean you have a lot of money, but you should be well dressed in Europe if you want to fuck bitches.

That means pants should not be baggy, shirts should be as fitted as possible. Because fashion is so important in Europe it's not really about the brand but the way it looks on you and if you look sloppy or not. Now, the women in Europe and especially Italy have extremely high shit-tests initially. Why? Because Italian men. An Italian guy will have an HB8 wife, an HB9 mistress that may or may not know of each other and fuck it all up for an HB4 with big tits. Italian men are natural charmers but they are thristy as fuck.

If you tweak your game and adjust your appearance, and make it through the initial shit-test, you should be fine. Worse case scenario, you take the Train up to Munich or some other city. German girls tend to go for guys that look good but there are quite a bit that go for guys that don't look German. Paris, Prague, wherever.

[–]adonis_syche19 points20 points  (12 children) | Copy


Italian Men are players of different league. And Italian women are pretty strong framewise as well. I mean, their culture is kinda matriarchal to be honest. Italians are famous for that. Latino women are at the opposite spectrum. Welcoming and aren't afraid to mingle. Italian chics just love to be chased, can;t help it. But once you get their attraction, they are LTR material inside out. plus, they are pretty open minded and you can have mistresses and they sort of even respect you for that. My suggestion would be chase Italian women without being a despo fuck. Watch a few Italian movies to get a deeper idea. To practice your game, I'd suggest go to Milan often. It is competitive as hell, but outsiders are seen as exotic material there. Don;t hope to get married there in Milan but you can have a deep dive in Italian women. But beware, lot of Czech women you'd meet would pretend to be Italians, they really aren't and probably have STDs, just have that in mind.

[–]rugged797 points8 points  (10 children) | Copy


Plus, Fashion Week.

[–]adonis_syche7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

aah! Best weeks! 18 years old with lower self esteem than Marianna trench. Italy, a place where supermodels feel insecure and fat bbws have confidence peaking Mount Everest. How does it even work...

[–]rugged792 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy


This made me laugh. And I'm not a rich guy. I guess it's the weights and the RP confidence. TBH sometimes when i go and I get one I also wonder how it works or how I got here haha!

[–]adonis_syche1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same here! It is a mystery land in Italy! No wonder they have Godfathers and we don't :p Mamma mia!

[–]VojvodaSrpski0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

What exactly are the benefits of the fashion week, could you elaborate?

[–]rugged791 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

aah! Best weeks! 18 years old with lower self esteem than Marianna trench.

This. it's just all top-end luxury designers have a week to display their clothing lines. As such there are tons of models on hand to display them. When they get off of work, the first thing they want to do is cut loose so they bumrush the city like a pack of wild Wildebeests.

[–]VojvodaSrpski0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

So you're saying there are top models that are low self-esteem and DTF?

[–]EumenesOfEfa1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Not sure what you are doing here. But yes, models have a low self esteem.

[–]rugged791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's basically posted on their foreheads. Everyday, some fashion designer or member of their team is telling them they're too fat, too short, not pretty etc.

Usually they just want a fun guy who doesn't tell them that shit haha.

[–]VojvodaSrpski0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What do you mean what am I doing here? The original comment was worded kind of weird I just wanted to understand what it was supposed to mean.

[–]EumenesOfEfa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean, that models have a low self esteem. Get to know one, or one who is friends with a model, and you will see what I mean. Models are 100% about their outwards apparel, and every comment about it can shatter them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol the poor Czech folk

[–]martinx89 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Well, I have mixed views on my SMV. I'm 5'7, white, average-to-good looking, have a nice job, but not a strong social circle. I'm well built and confident, very smart, and I'm not ashamed to hit on women, flirt, etc.

The reason I say I have mixed views on my SMV is because it works wonders on places like Argentina while I get looked down upon on places like Italy.

Even women that are objectively HB5 will immediately rule you out if you lack a social circle and are 5'7. It's like they have a set of rules you need to respect or better get lost, no matter how desperate they are.

And it's... frustrating. In Argentina I always had a choice, always had someone, always had options. Here... I just wanna get the fuck out lol

[–]rugged790 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Eh it's not about the height. I had a 5'9 friend with me in Europe and he did fine. Do you salsa? Is there a salsa dance club nearby?

I know in Munich of at least one salsa bar that was small but packed with Spanish women and other women who love to salsa. Most cities have one and even if you don't salsa, you might meet some Latin people that live in the country.

Europe in general forces you to change your game and up your wardrobe. If you don't have some fitted clothes and try pulling in regular faded jeans and a t-shirt, they ain't having it.

[–]martinx89 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Trust me, height matters when you are the shortest one, women included. I'm not saying that's the reason it's hard, only that it's a big hit on an already hard environment.

I did notice the whole wardrobe thing though.

[–]rugged790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh yeah I'm not saying height issues are non-existent.

But my friend 5'9, was a soldier, danced salsa, did BJJ, got a great job and spoke many languages. He's got many more great things about him. Basically a short version of James Bond now working in an office.

Height matter until you are better than your height.

[–]Jeannolapino5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Switzerland, cold af...

[–]chumjetze0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

We swiss are quite cold at first, but once you got a friendship going it's much deeper than the superficial friendships you see in most countries. Probably tough for cold approaches though

[–]Jeannolapino0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with that, but we were talking about approaching girls here. And that is though, certainly as a foreigner

[–]OilyB7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like these international comparisons. Let's keep them going, I feel like there's a lot to be uncovered there.

[–]TheTastelessBatman11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

Putting it differently, are there places like the ones I'm describing in Italy?

Dubai bro.

[–]adonis_syche22 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dubai has a shortage of women, and their conservatism is mind-boggling. But lot of outsiders are there which makes it bearable. And moreover, how can I ever compete with a guy with a Supercar made out of gold with a Jaguar on the back seat?

[–]TheTastelessBatman14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

The local girls are out of reach. Banged one only and that too back in high school and it was strictly anal since she wanted to save herself for marriage. They want LTR and expensive gifts and shit.

The foreign girls who come here are mostly trash with 1000000 guys hitting on any girl available even if she is a whale. Yup, competing is useless. A place where every other night is ladies night just to balance out the ratio between women and thirsty simps.

[–]imtheoneimmortal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Every country it has pros and cos It’s up to you what you choose

[–]mrpthrowa3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

1 to 4 or something like that female to male ratio.

[–]TheTastelessBatman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably on a ladies' night. I have been to some bars here where the ratio was more like 1 to 10. I just get on a plane now to go on a sex trip every other month. Still cheaper than going to bars here where on average I spend around 100-150$ on a night out.

[–]Hjalmbere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve been to Dubai. Getting laid was rather easy. Lots of stewardesses from all over. Didn’t try it on with the Emirati women though.

[–]ethreax5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am italian and have not figured this out myself

[–]mcr00sterdota10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

I feel like Italian girls are pretentious and over-entitled. At least here in Australia.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They fuck like jack rabbits if you can get past the shit tests though.

And jeezus they all have really nice eyes

[–]Chuck__Bass3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your perceived SMV in Italy is lowered than when you are in Argentina, this can be due to your approach or variety of things. See if you can find any friends who are having success in Italy and then decide if it is even worthwhile to mimic their techniques.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire28 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

You are "Argentinian." Do you even know what is going on in your home country? They just debauched the currency again, making the economic situation worse. Of course the women will be friendlier than in Italy, a wealthier country.

[–]0ToTheLeft1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah because Argentina economic problems have a lot of impact on his life in Italy lol. He is not a tourist, he is living there.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, but you would at least think he would follow what goes on in the country of his origin.

[–]martinx89 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I'm not going around with label "I'm from Italy" lol. Situation's been like shit there for years, that's why I bailed in the first place.

In any case, most women there tend to be more "down to earth" than the entitled bitches we get here in Italy, so they are a little more used to working and carrying their weight.

But who knows, maybe you are onto something :)

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, they have lowered expectations and therefore lowered standards. A guy who wears decent clothes, appears to be gainfully employed, and not a drug addict or a criminal would be perceived as catch. By contrast, in Italy, where that is the "norm," the pretty women then want billionaire industrialist supermodels who are also extremely popular and charming, and fight crime, while at the same time spurning the advances of all the women chasing after them, except for their "true" love, who they ceaselessly entertain.

[–]KettleLogic1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

ITT everyone saying their countries women are coldest.

[–]Greek-God-Brody3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I remember a guy telling me Italy's one of the hardest place to do cold approach

[–]imtheoneimmortal0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It was just a guy you remember Why is the hardest place to cold approach?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like there needs to be a WGTOW.

[–]boy_named_su2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

According to science, Italian women are the prettiest in the world:

So, ya, it's gonna be tough

[–]SalporinRP3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Since you're in Northern Italy take a quick trip to Croatia when you get the chance. The girls are much more similar to the Argentine girls you described. If you approach first then you're fine.

I've been to Croatia twice and have a few Croatian friends and they all said that there's a certain stereotype that Croatian men are "bums" and "cowards." The bum descriptor comes from the fact that the unemployment rate for young men is very high so most of them are either jobless and smoking cigs at cafes all day or have a shit job living at home til 30. The cowards descriptor comes from the fact that according to my friends a lot of Croatian guys are afraid to approach. Now I didn't really pick up on the second part in my visits but that was before they told me so I wasn't really looking for it.

As an in-shape American business major at the time I absolutely slayed over there.

[–]J-baller0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The prospect of a green card

[–]ShotgunTRP4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You must be a guero. Imagine how your Argentinian girls are to Morenos pobrecitos. This is how the Italian girls view you.

[–]TankVet2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Northern Italy is not the same as Rome or Sicily. Just like the women from Buenos Aires aren’t the same as those from Rosario.

Hell, I can drive from one gym to another in the same town and meet a totally different type of person. Don’t read into it too much.

[–]hatethiscity2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My only experience with an italian citizen is an student in the US while both of us were getting our masters in the same program. She was very pretty, dressed very well and was extremely friendly. Maybe it helped that we weren't in Italy and she wasn't constantly being hit on by guys, but she was very receptive to my advances and didn't play any games. We both knew we were leaving soon and just had casual sex when our schedules allowed.

[–]mismm 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Europeans tend to view South Americans as lower status, even though the majority of South Americans living in Europe come from well-off families.

In Argentina, you are home. Never underestimate the effect that being a foreigner has.

[–]KinkysMT2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

So I am Italian but I live in North Europe since many years. I agree what have been said by the other guys. You have to consider that cold approach does not work well unless your SMV is very high. Girls get approached 24/7 in Italy so their shield is always up, or better they are so used to it that they don't even care about your approach.

Social circle game is key in Italy. Have that and you'll be introduced to the hottest girls and in general girls will be more open to you.

Also we still have the church, there is no hookup culture, so casual sex is not promoted. But.. Italian girls are amazing LTR material. All my Italian fwb would treat me like a king, cook for me, make coffee in the morning, amazing passionate sex (no one night stand validation star fish), etc.

Problem is that they know they are hot, so many are quite entitled. Also due to the economic crisis, if you can show off that you have money, they'll go for it, because they want stability.

[–]imtheoneimmortal5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go on south Italy Warm women funny but you will kiss and touch them after 5 dates

I live in Italy and I approached very few girls and maybe just one was cold “I’m in conversation” but it was my bad I’ve should seen

Depends what person are you and social circle, I know a guy that is warm funny all time and girls want to stay with him, I think is about who you are and make them feel comfortable.

[–]iwishiwasgayandcute5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

More or less same with German girls. I think European people are just very robot like. They don't enjoy life like other countries, all they do is work and sleep. Girls are behaving entitled.

[–]Simpman42 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Completely wrong here, Europeans have an extremely kickback lifestyle. Not like other western countries where it’s a rat race (I.e Australia)

[–]AnabolLecter7 points8 points  (8 children) | Copy

Yes. Catalonia in Spain.

[–]omega_dawg935 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

most beautiful women in the world...

  1. Venezuela

  2. Spain

  3. Puerto Rico

easiest women in the world... American white women.

my opinion... my experience. yours may vary.

[–]NeedRealityShock1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

*Spain in Spain

[–]AnabolLecter2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Care to elaborate

[–]NeedRealityShock8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Spanish women are ALL cold and manipulative

[–]AnabolLecter5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. They love mental games. English-spoken women are more straightforward.

[–]vileoat2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I lived in Barcelona for few months duo to work and it was the time where I hit perfect week ™ for the first time. and it was back when I wasn't as hot as now (skinny, glasses). So can't say for all, but maybe they just want some foreign meat?

Edit. I'm from Russia

[–]AnabolLecter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe. It also depends on their age. 18-22 Spanish women usually have giant ego's due to Instagram being very popular in the country. They have hundreds of orbiters.

[–]newlifeRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's referring to the ongoing strife for independence in Catalonia. While Catalonia is a region in Spain and you could use the phrase "Catalonia in Spain", his remark is that Catalonia is so NOT getting independence that you don't get to give it a name as part of the whole anymore.

[–]realityescaper9112 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m an international student in this region I can totally agree with you. I approached some Italian girls and you gotta wait like 1 week to go on a date or just for a drink, and most probably they’re gonna flake. They may seem super nice and show interest in the conversation, but they don’t really like foreigners.

[–]SenorSwole1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read the sidebar and top 100. The bitch face/shield is a shit test.

[–]2stoned0jaguar9tre0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Very different culture.

[–]0ToTheLeft1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

actually, very similar, especially for southern italy. Argentinian culture has a lot of influence from Italy, half of the last names here are italian and the other half spanish lol.

That being said, southern italy is more similar, northern italy is more european-like.

[–]2stoned0jaguar9tre0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But see thats the bigger difference than you think. Norther Otalians always looked down on southern italy and italians. Northern Italy alway domianted and had the money. Then thia dude from Argentina, a child of immigrant s that couldnt make it in Italy so they left, comes through hitting in her. Theres a lot more differences from her perspective than what he thinks is going on.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s funny, that’s what everyone says about women in Buenos Aires. That they are cold.

[–]EmilCSS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I noticed this too on my last trip to Italy. Also, how would you guys describe the girls in London? I have a business trip in about a month there for a few weeks, so it made me curious.

[–]schijtaandezeaccount0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Belgium is the worst.. When I go to the Netherlands or France I have massive succes. At home, none.

[–]u-had-it-coming-5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Come to India.

[–]adonis_syche10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

In India, if you're white, doesn;t matter even Arab style fair skinned, it is a goddamn lottery. isn;t it?

[–]u-had-it-coming3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]WeddingCrasher917 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bobs and vagene

[–]gamerbike-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

That' all my expierience tbh, and Im chilean. I do think chilean women suck tho. Euros were easier during my time

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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