I'm 40 she's 37, married 15 years, three kids, 16, 11, 6.
169 lbs, 5'11", I lift three days, light weights still, squat 135, press 100, not maxes just my rep weights. Crunches, pushups, planks, dumbell stuff.
Nmmng, Pook, lots of pinned posts. Next up is MAP, and wisnifg, loaded on dropbox.
Been at this for 8 months, immediate improvement, then crash and burn, rambo-ed, then stfu, improvement in her attitude and respect, treatment of me (and the kids) is always up and down.
Moved cities 1.5 years,ago, still not making close to what I used to make at my career, working low level night job (deliver pizza) to make ends meet. Shes a sahm. These things makes me resentful of her since we moved to be closer to her family and she was oohh so unhappy where we were. Now it's same thing different state.
Whenever we talk about her working it gets put off, and she says the house, kids activities would fall apart etc.
Leaving rental home, buying a house in different part of town. Relations between us are up and down, Rocky through all of this, I still got us a house and supposed to close in two weeks.
I feel some stuff I'm doing has backfired. Things touted here as gospel, I'm doing it wrong. Going to the gym has turned into her saying I'm all about myself and it takes time from work. Being more dominant in bed has turned into her saying I fuck her like a whore, to rough, not loving. The night job has added dread. Her not knowing who I work with, where I am. There's a cute young girl there who I talk to and we've seen her out three times at music shows of a band I used to be in years ago. The dread has been good, but, backfired? Last night was the third time, and I told my wife she was going to better and there's no reason for any drama. She calls her my work girlfriend. I introduced her to wife, it was a quick exchange in loud environment, thats it. Wife caught me looking at her few times, but really I was just buzzed looking at various hot young girls. My wife is very hot, gets hit on often. This super tall young dude, well call him Chad, talked to her and basicly asked her out while we were there,(I was at the bar saw whole thing) she told him she's married but was smiling and loved it. I want her to look at me like that again. Ok, when we got home she's playing the whole game about I just want to fuck the girl.i work with and blah, so.i told her you don't have to do this, and that I love her. We drunk fucked pretty hard, but not much passion in her end. Today, she was withdrawn, told me she I threw her around like a whore, that I was thinking if this chick while I fucked her, I'm a loser, can't support his family, she has offers from guys texting and messaging her, also brought up the dude from night begore, and that she was going to start accepting some offers because she's done with me. Moving on for her.
She said she has to "live with me because she has no money and has to take care of the kids but that doesn't mean were together".
"I'm only with you because I have no choice."
All the while, were buying a fucking house. Am I getting used here or what? I'm supposed to buy a house to what. Sleep on the couch and live in this toxic environment? I need somewhere good for the kids though, it's cheaper than renting, but I think I'm setting myself up for divorce rape. I know, she knows she owns me, but I do care about her, she's my oneitus definitely, also mom to my three kids.
Does anyone know if it's advantageous to only have my name in the deed?
I don't know if this will get better unless we have some real time living apart. It's constant bickering, I know it's my fault, drunk captain, no real goals, always trying to make ends meet, make it through the month financially and mentally. Resentment from her about how she gave her life away to kids and me who have no respect or care about her. Resentment from me because I moved for her and now were really struggling. I'm a plow horse and I now know that gets zero respect. And now the house thing, suppose to be positive, fucked up by her again, but she wins either way.
I'm a fucking puke fag. If you read this trash flame away, and advise please.