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Day 0 - Valentines day off to a great start... Taking the pill

by redshift835 | February 14, 2019 | askMRP

27 upvotes

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I wrote this up but didn’t know of the moderated 3 day limit for new accounts to post directly on MRP so posting here.

Brand new to reddit. Brand new to this sub. First post and considering what today is, might as well be my official start of how things are gonna be from now on. I have been holding the red pill in my hand since the beginning of this year. No more fucking around. Im doing this.

Been married for almost 4 years, together for 10 and we have a an amazing little girl who is about to turn 2. We both work fulltime jobs but my salary is over 75% of our combined income. This post is not a backstory about my past beta journey but more of a line in the sand I am drawing because things are not the way I want them to be.

I came across MRP in late December and srsly fucking opened my eyes. It was like i was reading my life story. How the hell did i not see this until now? I have been beta without knowing it for so long! No more of it. I started lifting ASAP to get in shape. I am owning my shit and no more of this beta lifestyle i have been so blind to.

Since Jan, every now and then I try to make an alpha move without a goal or direction. All of them have backfired. For example my buddy came back from out of town and wanted to meet up for a drink on a Friday night. Wife was watching shit reality TV and I said im going out to meet him and i walked out the door. Well that led to texts and phone calls and a fight later for going out for drinks, even though our kid was put to bed and she was watching TV at home either way... Pretty sure I vacuumed the house the next day ti “make up” for my mistake of going to see my friend...

Initiated sex about a dozen times if i was to estimate and only twice I have been able to get some. And it wasn’t great it was supremely mediocre. Nothing this month of Feb yet but i initiated only a few times to be shut down.

Well- onto my reason for making my post today!

Today is valentines day, the most beta holiday ever. I knew that she does not deserve some elaborate reward if chocolates and a nice dinner or whatever else. But I still decided to wake up early this morning and make breakfast of pancakes and bacon and eggs. (pancakes in shape of hearts... 🙄) which is something I would not normally do. Well she came down and I had it all set up, she doesn’t acknowledge me or my breakfast i prepared and instead walks to the sink and tells me “next time don’t stack the pans on top of each other cause they will scratch”... srsly! made me so mad but I didnt show it or say OK i just ignored her and got our daughter ready for daycare...

Before my wife left she did say thank you and it was thoughtful and get this... and leaned over towards me to make a kiss face but didnt actually kiss me, it was her allowing me to come in to kiss her. She said she had lip shit on so blah blah blah...

Anyway today I will be going out after work to play hockey (play in a weekly league) and have no idea what I will do when I come home. Totally ignore? Pretend all is good and try to see if she wants to have sex? One thing is for sure, this is the last time in my life I am going to make fucking heart shaped pancakes!!


Post Information
Title Day 0 - Valentines day off to a great start... Taking the pill
Author redshift835
Upvotes 27
Comments 41
Date 14 February 2019 02:58 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/218042
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/aqkl5y/day_0_valentines_day_off_to_a_great_start_taking/
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Comments

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill61 points62 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well, you're a big faggot. There's a lot of things going on here that you should address.

First, detach the emotional hose from your wife. You, my friend, are a validation whore. You made pancakes and wanted her to acknowledge you were a good boy. It wreaked of a covert contract too and your wife smelled it like old fish.

An alpha man could get away with it. You do this by making it fun and bringing good emotion to the scene. If you would have made it about the kids, and not her it would have worked great.

Make a big stack of pancakes, have everyone come to the table. Put some decorations out, make a big show of telling your daughter, "You know who my favorite girl in the house is? You! psst, don't tell mommy"

Tell your wife, "Your bowl of cereal is on the counter. Yep, I'm thoughtful that way!"

In the end, give freely because you want to, not because you have to. Do things because you are a fun man, and you want to add fun to your life, not because you expect any reaction from her.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In the end, give freely because you want to, not because you have to

u/redshift835 "No More Mr. Nice Guy" should be at the top of your reading list. You are plagued with Covert Contracts

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine43 points44 points  (6 children) | Copy

Welcome.

“that led to texts and phone calls and a fight later for going out for drinks”

And

“don’t stack the pans on top of each other cause they will scratch”

Yes, betas are shamed and get rules and regulated over every little small thing.

“Pretty sure I vacuumed the house the next day ti “make up” for my mistake”

Stop this. Stop making it up to mommy.

“and leaned over towards me to make a kiss face but didnt actually kiss me”

Very telling. She sees herself as the Prize, not you. She’s up on a pedestal.

Look mother fucker, don’t go Rambo just yet.
Focus on slowly ramping up your SMV.

Start lifting, dressing better, minimize beta behaviors, start passing shit tests, learn some basic game (10 sec kiss, ass slap, kino, teasing).

I recommend reading mmslp ASAP. You need to read it.

At this point, improve yourself and Start internalizing all the material.

Get to work.

Take it slow.

[–]thunderbeyond27 points28 points  (5 children) | Copy

OP the biggest welcome to MRP you're ever gonna get is that MrChadThundercock didnt call you a faggot.

Welcome to the 1%.

But seriously- listen to Chad and the other guys that have stripes.

Now make sure you post on OYS.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Second this and the recommendation to read MMSLP first

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Looks like aliens have abducted mr chad thundercock as a perfect specimen for a man. They would have gotten away with it but their replacement MCTC was/is to soft.

[–]becoming_alpha16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

He must be feeling the love today. Maybe Mrs. MCT made him heart-shaped pancakes this morning.

[–]Frosteecat2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

He just forgot, that's all.

[–]Rhynolicious1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Saving the “faggots” for the guys that’ll still be here next week?

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh boy... breath man, just breath.

First, good on you for having the balls to admit some of the shit here you did. The first step to all this is being able to identify all the beta, faggot behaviors that got you here. I mean that in all honesty. I probably didn’t have the balls to talk about some of the cringy stuff I’ve done when o first stumbled upon this place over 3 years ago. You’ll get more actionable advice here the more Honest you are about your mistakes.

Second, You’re at dread level 0... which is “stop being a pussy.” It’s a level not talked about much.

Third, don’t try to change everything at once or your wife will lose her shit, throw emotions and shame at you so fast and so hard that your soft frame won’t be able to cope and you’ll lose for sure. The meeting the friend for a drink is a good start. If you go all super Redpill man and don’t get her anything for Valentine’s Day this year, you’ll fail for above mentioned reasons.

Fourth, do start dialing back some of the behaviors she’s gotten to used to and that pedestalized her.

Her emotions and feelings can’t hurt you. Only your own self judgement can. You decide what’s important to you and prioritize all things based on that. Read the sidebar. That’s all for now.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

I just threw up in my fuckig mouth. Hart shaped pancakes? Fuck man.

Side bar and lift. Read the rational male first. Then read this:

STFU and you

The side bar isn't a "bar" you wont find pussy there.

Its ------> that way.

Welcome to the party. Get the fuck to work.

[–]z2a1-92 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The side bar isn't a "bar" you wont find pussy there.

Awesome

[–]redshift835[S] 15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy

I cannot express how pissed i am at myself. you all are right. And it fucking sucks that it took so damn long for me to separate myself from this beta machine i have been living.

This is ground zero for me.

I have been navigating my life and everyday interactions based on how others are telling me or showing me (direct or indirectly) i am doing. I figure if i can acknowledge that yeah, this is me right now, fucking validation whore, and for the entirety of my relationship been a beta bitch... then maybe I can do this right and turn it around.

The resources you have shared and made available are going to take a long time to consume, and longer to bring into practice. Every single bit of effort to consume that information ASAP is needed.

The views and honesty of this community is what steered my decision to want to change. I plan to pay that forward.

no more excuses. i am all in.

[–]captainbourbon508 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't beat yourself up, just move forward. I am in my 50s and just discovered RP. Went through one marriage and divorce beta and finally coming around. As others have said, move slowly. For now just STFU and lift and read. You build an oak frame one splinter at a time. Go for small changes in yourself and your outlook and the wife will follow. You will relapse. Just reset the next day and do better.

[–]ImNotSlash5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Calm the fuck down. What are you going to do about yesterday? Not a God damn thing so very get over it.

Your first priority is finding a lift program. Stronglifts is a good start. Read up on nutrition, balancing your macros, and concentrate their there first.

It's a marathon, not a sprint. So get to it.

[–]NMMNG_10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This. 100%. Stoic fucking gold. Frame.

[–]NMMNG_12 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I smell Rambo. Be careful, side bar and iron first.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Time required to turn this around:

Rule of thumb: 1 month for every year you were a submissive beta.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

breakfast of pancakes and bacon and eggs.

I would eat some ass for that breakfast.

But I eat ass anyway...

I am easy.

[–]NightFire454 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hahaaa..the LTR was doing yoga stretches this morning and in the midst of truck rotations I stated Happy Valentine's day and slapped her in the face with my cock on the rotation part. We were laughing each slap for a good 5 minutes and then I went and made eggs for breakfast.

I think the biggest change I found from MRP is reset everyday and don't be a thirsty sperg.

[–]Tbonesupreme2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just let me know the time and the place.

FYI - my ass tastes like pancakes.

[–]JudgeDoom6919 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

You need to slow your roll, young man. It took you 10 years to fuck this up and your aren't going to fix it overnight by pretending to be alpha once in a while.

Start by reading all of the sidebar books. Lift heavy weights regularly using a structured program like Strongelifts 5x5. Watch Blue Pill Professor's videos on Youtube.

You are at risk of "going redpill Rambo" right now. Take it easy.

[–]NMMNG_13 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This.

[–]helaughsinhidden9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to Married Red Pill. You've been working really hard at making her a princess for sure.

There are three options to everything from now on.

  • Doing the wrong thing.
  • Not doing the wrong thing.
  • Doing the right thing.

I know you are trying brother, but this was still about 80% wrong.... by your admission.

Most of the time, you aren't going to know what the RIGHT thing is, so focus on not doing the wrong thing. In case you didn't know STFU means Shut The Fuck Up. That's your go to move when you don't know what the right thing to say or do is.

Oh, and you no longer have feelings. Nothing pisses you off anymore or makes you sad. Those feelz are lumped into something we call BUTTHURT. Never show butthurt. It's the weakest and most unattractive thing you can do while simultaneously reinforcing her dominance over your feelings and her superiority in the sexual marketplace. Now that you are awaken, you have to be "un-fuck-with-able" 24x7. See, STFU is almost always a safe play, but in combination with whining, pouting, going rambo, or even the slightest hint of disappointment and you've blown it.

Knowing the right thing is going to come from reading the sidebar materials. Read them in order, they are listed in order of most important or basic knowledge to secondary importance or advanced learning.

In 12 months, you should re-read your post and cringe or laugh as hard as we just did.

Glad to see another man finding his balls though, welcome!

[–]FoxShitNasty836 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thank fuck this isn't me this year, the good news is this is where men improve. Take it on the chin, read the sidebar and I guarantee next year will be different.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

hahahaha

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anyway today I will be going out after work to play hockey (play in a weekly league) and have no idea what I will do when I come home. Totally ignore? Pretend all is good and try to see if she wants to have sex?

I sense that you're going to hit the anger phase fast and go Rambo. Look, the reason your wife treats you like that is because you have conditioned her to do that. This is your fault. She's just a woman, so don't be mad at her for doing woman things. Think of this process like losing weight. You've gained 50 lbs. of beta garbage around your life, and you aren't going to be able to work that off without a proper investment of time

Some of the best advice I've seen on here for guys just starting out comes from the ever playful kitten. Your only priority right now is to stop seeking validation by doing things for her, and STFU. From that same post about the kitten:

If you try to do too much too soon you're going to end up with a wife that has just proven to herself how selfish you are or is happy with your newfound absence. So that's why I suggest saying "For 6 months I'm not going to punish her, take anything out on her, or do anything for her in hopes of her doing something for me in return. No matter how crappy she treats me I will respond with kindness, but I will also get my act together and start doing things for me."

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

She said she had lip shit on so blah blah blah...

It's pretty bad when you get soft nos on kissing, but that's a soft no. Blow through that shit.

"Cool, I needed some gloss, baby."

Here's a takeaway I want you to mull on. That if you can grasp, might fill a blindspot if you're having trouble doing more than dipping your toe in and new year "resoluting" every time you feel pumped "This time will be the time I really drop that donut":

You're sprinkling on alpha and missing the forest through the trees.

You have to kick that word "deserves" out of your lexicon.

You no longer give , receive or entertain things out of a deserve mindset.

You do because you feel like and because it's part of your worldview. She certainly does because she feels like (or better yet, you've elicited with your own frame) and there only exists to her ...her worldview.

It's not bad or good... women just all believe they deserve everything you have to give no matter their behavior overall or in the moment. It's in their DNA. They see their bank with you as always being in the black, and if it isn't well..."it's his fault".

The moment you swallow it, the quicker you realize it's a fucked road to go down with what does she or doesn't deserve.

We all "deserve" nothing. You make, you do, you get. Sometimes it's nice when things coincide. But otherwise it's all contracts. Covert, overt, bartered... and riddled with a spiderweb of strings.

So valentines to you isn't doing or not doing because of "deserves". If you're doing anything today it's like every other day you're wanting it to end a particular way. Gaming. Kino. Cocky. Fun. You know what is none of those things? The passive aggressive silent treatment. Outcome independence of the DARE kind is in response to an immediate problem. Not a simmering over the day(s) kind of behavior.

Now apply this to any and every day of the week , Valentines or not.

Pretend all is good and try to see if she wants to have sex?

No. All IS good... so build up sexual energy, kino and initiate if you want.

But if you want to guarantee this day will end poorly? Sulk and ignore. I'd wager if you let go, reset, stop being mad at a duck for quacking it may end better.

[–]MarriedWRP4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Did she do something you don’t like for you to ignore her? Is it because she made a comment about stacking the dishes? Wheres the Agree and Amplify to her comment of the dishes? “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” With a smirk and maybe an ass grab. It sounds dumb and makes no sense but who gives a fuck? You shouldn’t. That’s the point. You care too much. Did you grab her ass today? Kiss her ear and turn her on a little bit? Why would she have sex with you if she’s not turned on by you?

[–]nantucketghost4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I made heart shaped stuff for my youngest this morning. Do it for your daughter, not your wife.

[–]ParaXilo3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome.

I think everyone gave good feedback.

Take it one day at a time.

Give less fucks.

Reset everyday.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.02 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]egc61 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wrote this up but didn’t know of the moderated 3 day limit for new accounts to post directly on MRP so posting here.

I hoped by "directly on MRP" you were talking about the OYS thread. Looking at your post history I see where you threw caution to the wind and thought everyone in MRP needed to see your faggy behavior.

That being said you got an incredibly good response in here from some of the best users. Be thankful for that and actually listen to them. They pinpointed several things you need to address immediately. Make some concrete goals and be ready to post in the OYS thread Tuesday. Go through MrChad_Thundercock's response line by line, repeatedly.

For real, start reading MMSLP for some basic game and NMMNG to help with those shitty nice guy tendencies. The need for validation is currently sickening.

[–]Frosteecat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pancakes in the shape of hearts??? Why not just make them in the shape of your dick and balls so she can destroy them too.

My God. Slap yourself.

So relieved I got a card and that's it. MIGHT down some wine and let her pick a movie. Maybe. If I feel like it.

Probably a better choice is to go to the bars and wait for sad singles to get drunk. Like a city wide wedding reception, eh?

[–]slappysq1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Until your lift 1RM are at 2/3/4 plates, don't do a damn bit of Dread or your faggot ass bluff is going to get called.

[–]JameisBong1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can you make pancakes for me? I promise to kiss you, get to lifting dumbass. You aren't supposed to be doing anything as a covert contract including vacuuming your shitty house. Do the work, you don't become a man overnight.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

and leaned over towards me to make a kiss face but didnt actually kiss me, it was her allowing me to come in to kiss her. She said she had lip shit on so blah blah blah...

It was actually the fact that my wife stopped kissing me that actually woke me the fuck up. In a way, I'm grateful for it because otherwise I would still be lost and struggling. It took a slap in the face and a punch in the gut to make some dramatic changes.

I'm about two years in. I started off with my wife avoiding kissing me with a month long symptom-less cold to having her sucking my cock last night. For perspective, she never once sucked my cock in the 13 prior years we were together. The blow jobs started after MRP.

[–]0io-Tsundere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone is so hard on new guys here... Welcome to Fight Club! You're off to a good start. It's hard to decide to take the first step (but easy to take), and you've already decided to take the first step. Lifting weights is absolutely not optional, so you need to get that going right away while you read all the books. Just choose Stronglifts 5x5 for your phone or get the Starting Strength book and do that. You need to figure out what your body fat percentage is and bring that down fast, which usually means doing low-carb dieting or carb cycling. Lifting, reading, and STFU is pretty much it for the first 6 months or so. You should post your height weight and lifts for accountability purposes (no fudging numbers!) Everybody has to start at the beginning. If you really put your full effort in, you'll be showing major gains by this June and probably well on your way by the end of the year. This stuff really works, but remember you're only fixing yourself, so the effort is all on you and how you're changing yourself. Don't worry about her reactions. Shrug it off, keep initiating, and most importantly LIFT. And keep reading. LIFT LIFT LIFT. It's the foundation of everything else.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

heart shaped pancakes!!

Oh lawdy!

next time don’t stack the pans on top of each other cause they will scratch”

Shit Test. No you can't dodge them. But when your ready, you won't have too.

Spend more time identifying your Covert Contracts than you do worrying about your wife only coming halfway to kiss you. Let me guess you read that tactic in MMSL and were insulted when your wife did it to you.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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