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My first ever post-TRP conversation with a girl, am I doing it right?

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asktrp-throw
February 18, 2019
86 upvotes
askTRP

After breaking up my shitty BP relationship, I've been following TRP and lifting for a few months now. Haven't been focused on girls at all. After the gym last night I went to go pick up some food. The HB7 working the register was cute, she showed IOI's. I said fuck it and got her number. I waited to text her until she got off.

We shared simple information like our names, I found out that she's a college freshman (I'm a HS senior, little challenge for me then). Blah blah blah small talk, she seems receptive to my humor, after that, I remembered to keep texting for logistics.

Me: "You free this Friday?"

HB7: "I am during the day but I have something to do that night"

Me: "Damn I was planning on robbing a bank w/ you around 7"

HB7: "Damn I guess we'll have to reschedule (crying laughing emoji) I have to take my godchild to a dance at his school"

Me: "Lol ok, what days do you have in mind?"

HB7: "Mm I'm on a cheer team so when I'm not cheering I'm working pretty much all the time. I don't even think I have a free night this week."

Me, stole this from another user on here: "It's ok, you'll make time for me. Let me know when you're ready."

HB7: "You sound real confident. how do you know for sure I'll make time for you?"

Me: "I can see into the future ;). Have a good night, HB7"

HB7: "You too :)"

That was last night, I don't plan on texting back until she does. Am I being too cheeky? You guys got any tips, how to follow through with this etc.?


Post Information
Title My first ever post-TRP conversation with a girl, am I doing it right?
Author asktrp-throw
Upvotes 86
Comments 45
Date 18 February 2019 04:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/218837
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/arz8f7/my_first_ever_posttrp_conversation_with_a_girl_am/
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Comments

[–]dickens910 1 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy

Whether talking to a friend, coworker, or girl I always think you are better off asking if they want to do something specific rather than ask if they are free.

Example A, "Hey you want to go for coffee this weekend?"

As opposed to B, "Are you free this weekend?"

In example A they know what they are agreeing to and if they want to, they'll tell you what days/times they can. In option B they dont know what they are about to agree to or what they'll have to awkwardly turn down after telling you they are free.

​

[–]ArchsofArch3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is good advice.

[–]redvelvet_oreo1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Example A, "Hey you want to go for coffee this weekend?"

As opposed to B, "Are you free this weekend?"

In example A they know what they are agreeing t

Personally I like to just tell them and they can decide if they want to say no ie:

Example A "Lets get coffee Saturday @ 8 PM."

or

Example B: "Coffee. Saturday @ 8 PM. You are coming."

Example B usually leads to some playful messaging (maintain your cocky frame here) and usually they are on board.

The idea for me is to come off as leading and sort of commanding at the same time. She can always say no but in my experience if you dont really give them an option to say no(commanding vs asking) they will say yes or if they are really busy they will say no or just come up with a long winded excuse.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Eh, I still think it is a bad idea. You are banking on them not already having plans then, or bailing on said plans. Why bother? You propose what to do, and if she wants to do it she'll *eagerly* tell you when she is available. Or she will hem and haw, in which you know she is not interested. Both outcomes are wins.

Plus I have had girls hit me up a couple weeks later and be like, "Hey, so how about that drink/climb/coffee :) "

[–]redvelvet_oreo-2 points-1 points  (6 children) | Copy

Your thinking to much about what she is doing. What she is doing is not relevant. Women do not like having to make the decision. If I tell her she is coming shes more likely to say yes just because she dosen't have to really think about it. If she is legit busy she will tell you and I find it more genuine when they cant hang out after telling them were hanging out as opposed to leaving it up to them if they want to come or not.

It goes hand in hand with you making the plans not her. Dont let her choose the place or activity. She wants YOU to lead. If you dont your fucked. I was on a double date once and my friends LTR literally said "I was attracted to him on our first date because he made all the plans and on our first date. So many guys cant make up there mind and it drives me nuts. I rather not make the plans. Like your the MAN figure it out" its was a TRP truth straight out of a girls mouth. Not to mention she is "Alpha Female".

Plus I have had girls hit me up a couple weeks later and be like, "Hey, so how about that drink/climb/coffee :) "

After shes has sucked several chads dicks and is now bored. Couple weeks is a long time. You could have been fucking her the same weekend you aimed to make plans. Just saying.

[–]dickens910 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

​

What she is doing is not relevant.

Unless you are some celebrity where she is just going to drop all her plans and her panties the second you ask her out, then its pretty relevant. I dont know about you, but with most of the girls I talk to, they are busy the majority of the week with work, gym, hobby, and friends. I used to do what you are saying, but I found a much higher success rate and ease of logistics with how I do it.

You are still leading, she is not making any plans. A literal text conversation I had last Monday.
Me "Do you want to get coffee this week?"
Her "Sure, I can do either Wednesday or Thursday as long as its after noon."
Me "Cool, lets get together Wednesday at 1 at (local coffee shop)"
Her "Okay! Sounds good :)"

​

After shes has sucked several chads dicks and is now bored. Couple weeks is a long time.

Who the fuck cares? The point being, its an easy rebound. Its abundance mentality. I have enough going in my life and I am talking to enough girls that one girl is not going to make or break the 'sexual bank' so to speak. Wont make a dent.

At the end of the day I do not think it makes that much of a difference. If she wants to go out, she will. I just think this way makes it easier.

[–]redvelvet_oreo-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Unless you are some celebrity where she is just going to drop all her plans and her panties the second you ask her out, then its pretty relevant. I dont know about you, but with most of the girls I talk to, they are busy the majority of the week with work, gym, hobby, and friends. I used to do what you are saying, but I found a much higher success rate and ease of logistics with how I do it.

I think if your going in with the mindset of overthinking what she might be doing and let me come off as "nice" shows you are already to invested. IDGAF what her schedule might be like its either shes coming or not. If she dosent her loss end of story. I like to frame it in a way that makes me a better option from the start. Every tom, dick and harry she meets will ask her "Hey you want to go for coffee this weekend?" Shes not expecting a guy to tell her what to do right off the bat. She may not like it and she can say no but there is shift in gears in her head that is like "hm no other guys has ever done that. Maybe I can move my schedule around with beta billy Friday and hangout with this asshole instead" Trust me when I tell you there is a look in a girls eyes that tells it all if you ever have done this correctly. If she sees you as high value she will change shit around on the fly to hang out.

Who the fuck cares? The point being, its an easy rebound. Its abundance mentality. I have enough going in my life and I am talking to enough girls that one girl is not going to make or break the 'sexual bank' so to speak. Wont make a dent.

I think your missing my point. Most guys here that are still beta will be waiting and hoping for that text weeks later. The point is to have an abundance mentality and on to the next one if she isnt interested. The thing is if a girl is going to text you weeks later she wasnt interested in you in the first place and is now bored. Im not saying you cant turn the situation around and wind up fucking her but my point is that if you played your cards right you could have dated and fucked her in the same week you met her.

If your style works for you cool do what works best.

[–]dickens910 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

brah, I am not the one overthinking it. It is not about being nice, its about being straightforward and simple. If she wants to get a drink with you, she will eagerly tell you when she can.

Most guys here that are still beta will be waiting and hoping for that text weeks later.

I will agree with you here. You move on and forget about her. Maybe she comes back, but typically they dont. It is cool either way.

The thing is if a girl is going to text you weeks later she wasnt interested in you in the first place and is now bored.

Here is where I think you are way off the mark. Whether a girl is interested in you or not, is not solely dependent on you. There are so many things in her personal life that can dictate her desire for dick.

Example, a while back I met a girl through some mutual lady friends. She was not having ANY of my bullshit. Turns out her long term boyfriend broke up with her recently. We ended up hooking up a few months later.

I had another girl cheat on her boyfriend with me on a trip. Only happened because she knew she was safe to do so. I did not even try to initiate that.

I cancelled plans on a girl because I had been doing 16 hour days and did not feel like seeing anyone on my one day off. It wasn't because she wasnt hot or cool.

Point being, there could be a lot of reasons people say no. I think if you are staying busy and talking to enough girls, then it is not really a big deal.

[–]redvelvet_oreo1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

brah, I am not the one overthinking it. It is not about being nice, its about being straightforward and simple. If she wants to get a drink with you, she will eagerly tell you when she can.

To each their own. I know what works for me. I understand what your saying. I dont think there is anything inherently wrong with how you approach it I just think alot of people who talk like that tend to always ask the girl what she wants to do and wind up coming off as to nice. Obviously you are not that person. I think it also depends on context alot and it can be played in a lot of different ways but depends what your trying to accomplish. (For reference I mostly game girls when I travel as I do not have the logistics where I live while im with my LTR, so quick turn around is what I tailor my game to. Few weeks later for me im already in an out of 3 different states.)

Here is where I think you are way off the mark. Whether a girl is interested in you or not, is not solely dependent on you. There are so many things in her personal life that can dictate her desire for dick.

Thats true and understandable. I just never think much about what they might be doing. I tell them to come. Sometimes they come and sometimes they dont. I just find being commanding more successful for them to escalate things quicker.

Point being, there could be a lot of reasons people say no. I think if you are staying busy and talking to enough girls, then it is not really a big deal.

Im not trying to argue with your reasoning but the idea is not have her say no because she sees you as a nice beta faggot. Maybe she does initially(but still you exchange numbers) and you turn it around when she texts you weeks later and hang out maybe you wind up fucking her. Really depends on your game man.

Also im not trying to single you out or your situation. I was really just trying to add another way of doing it for OP.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well said

[–]ramokaly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cringeworthy

[–]MrBigBolls121 points122 points  (0 children) | Copy

She doesn’t seem interested, though may genuinely be busy. Go radio silent until she hits you up, if not, try again in 2 weeks.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine85 points86 points  (3 children) | Copy

The problem is that you left the ball in her court, and after that line there's no way you can follow up without looking like a thirsty loser.

In general, you have to assume women aren't going to initiate plans unprompted, even when they are interested. Try to avoid creating a situation where you're waiting for her to randomly hit you up.

e.g. this

Let me know when you're ready.

is bad. You could have left that part out totally, and then ignored her when she asked how you know she'll make time for you. Unless you have something particularly good, the best response to a shit test over text is no response.

Then, if she doesn't text you again (which she often will), you can hit her up again in a couple of days. If she really digs you she'll be less flakey about making plans out of fear that you'll ignore her again or ghost her totally.

You guys got any tips, how to follow through with this etc.?

There's nothing to do anymore. Hopefully she gets back to you, in the meantime go game other girls.

[–]asktrp-throw[S] 28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ah yeah that "Let me know when you're ready" was meant to be teasing, but I see now how it makes me look less assertive. I should have just not responded after that text too.

I'll take note. Appreciate it.

[–]coloredzebra13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

General rule is, as a man, you must be the leader/one to decide. Indecisiveness is unattractive, and humans generally gravitate towards someone to lead.

[–]trpppp1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Surprisingly good tip. When I'm in this situation, I assume non-interest and usually just do the same by leaving the ball in her court and moving on.

I'll try this approach and see if it works better.

[–]dickcomments15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Problem #1: never, ever, use texts for conversations.

Your banter is great but get the fuck off of the phone or messager.

Problem #2: you left this up to her.

Never put yourself in a position where you look desperate. Now, you've created a hard spot for you... if you contact her you've already lost.

[–]3chazthundergut13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not a bad start.

Just be careful. Even of she isnt interested, she enjoys being chased and teased like that.

So don't give her any more attention until she is making an effort to hang out. Let her text you and when she does wait a couple hours to respond

[–]pointster_VSK29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well done. Seems like she is too busy though. If she is really interested, she will get back to you with a date when she is free.

I would says soft next and just ping once every other week with a funny meme. If a month goes by and still no date setup, i would move on.

[–]BluePillEltonJohn30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

Did great, the bank robbery thing was pretty good. Play the numbers game and do this to 20girls

[–]Irtotallynotrobot4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah seems fine. Find more girls. Sometimes, when a girl is taciturn, I exit a conversation after she inquires about something. "I miss doing x for a few reasons" "why do you miss x". Wait for a double text or reinitiate a conversation later.

[–]InsidiousCurve5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just wait and hit her up again. She already qualified you by telling you she is free during the day.

[–]resnine3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

let us know what she replies back first with.

[–]8380atgmaildotcom0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

100 years later

[–]hopscotchking3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not great, not terrible.

Remember not to say “what days are you available” but instead be direct and say “how about next Thursday around 6pm?”

That way you give her an exact date and time. If she says she’s busy without suggesting another specific day, it’s time to move on. Chicks like this are a dime a dozen bro.

[–]caneyfan3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You did great. Don’t overthink it from here. Come up with something fun you wanna do and invite her to join you. Like “hey I’m gonna go to [insert fun place] and [insert fun thing to do with time/place] and want you to join me it’ll be fun.”

If she accepts, great finalize logistics and do your thing. If she says no that she’s busy w/o making an alternative plan or reschedule, don’t respond, forget her, and move on. If she’s interested she’ll make the effort.

[–]ArchsofArch1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This above.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She said she would see you Friday during the day. No reason to wait for a night. Text game was fine.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmfaoo someone come get their mans 💀💀😂😂😂

[–]jrr6415sun0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She’s not interested

[–]ArchsofArch0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She sees him as a high school kid.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You did good in my book. You showed cockiness, strong intent and fun banter.

But her not even considering making time to meet you is a giant neon sign saying “I am not interested”.

So you did well pulling out too. Any more texting work on your part from now on will just make it worse.

But then of course since you are fluent in womanese, you know you need to add “... right now” at the end of that giant neon sign.

So yeah leave it and you never know she might hit you up again.. especially if she starts thinking that your not insisting means you have other plates to spin and that en event in her life happens that make her need some new D.

EDIT: rereading and now noticing she was a cashier. Cashiers are paid to be nice to you, and they’re not in a situation where they can afford a scene with a rejected customer who mistook her politeness for interest. In other words, they may give you their number just so that you leave happy without making a scene. Don’t count too much on those. That said they’re good to practice banter.

[–]asktrp-throw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would like to add that one of her IOI's at the restaurant was her directly calling me cute. She was also fixing her hair and fumbling her words. That's when I knew it wasn't common politeness that you're talking about, at least I think.

Her body language revealed she was shy/reserved, and me not being more assertive and setting an exact date for her later may have been off-putting. I'm going to take advice from you and other users, continue, and work the numbers game with other chicks. I already feel tons more confident.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Should have asked for a date during the initial convo, before getting her number.

[–]1XXXMersenne0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Approach more, It's good you're doing shit rather than crying 'Does it werk??'*

But this reads: "Hey guys I hit 1 tennis ball today how am I doing?"

[–]asktrp-throw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol I understand what you're getting at. I'm just making sure I don't repeat mistakes etc. and waste my time.



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