It fucking stings.

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February 18, 2019
190 upvotes

Well. Ltr cheated and i just found out less than 2 hours ago and it fucking stings. I cut it off as soon as she told me. Didnt make a fuss . Just told her to leave calmly. Kept it together for 30 mins but the shock didnt numb me for long after that. Im hurt. But oh well. Tmrw will be the first day of the rest of my life.


Post Information
Title It fucking stings.
Author jiggyyoungdrew
Upvotes 190
Comments 87
Date 18 February 2019 06:07 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/218882
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/aru2fl/it_fucking_stings/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
cheatinglong term relationship
Comments

[–]modHalitenina[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy

This is not a request for personal advice OR clarification. OP has received a 90 day ban.

One rule.

[–]Talinor09347 points348 points  (30 children) | Copy

Hey brother,

Sorry to hear. First thing, it’s not your fault. Even if you were needy, beta as shit, and had terrible frame, you still didn’t deserve to be cheated on, this shows she’s a weak person.

Second, you’re lucky you found out and in the long-term it’s a good thing. The last thing you want is a deceptive partner fucking around behind your back. As the late-great Notorious B.I.G says: if you don’t know, now you know.

Moving forward, it’s going to hurt, and it’s going to hurt for a while. Not only will you have to deal with heartbreak and the sudden grief/loss from losing a partner, but also the anger and resentment from being cheated on. These feelings are normal so just accept them and don’t try avoid or fight them. They will come in waves at various times.

Next steps.

  1. Get her out of your life in a calm and collected manner. I would try avoiding expressing anything to her, just arrange a time to exchange any stuff and delete her off all social media. Then try remove any reminders.

  2. Focus on yourself. Now you are to truly free to re-assess your life and sort out your mission and hone in on your goals. I would suggest going monk mode and picking up some healthy hobbies. Some people say it’s best to get back on the horse (or under) however from personal experience I found it better to avoid women and drinking, as neither will reduce the pain, and even if you meet someone amazing, your in a shit place and doing yourself and them a disservice.

  3. Lift. I don’t care if your already ripped. Hit the gym and get fucking obsessed with the results. Eat right, count calories, push your cardio to the limit, take up boxing or bjj, work on your lifts and strength. Though obsession you can find abundance as your mission becomes more important than any girl, or ex.

  4. Read / meditate - now’s the time to expand your mind and rebuild your inner self.

  5. Be social - spend more time with quality guy friends and if possible make new ones.

  6. Travel - you’ve probably seen sweet fuck all of the world so go see some more.

  7. Assess what caused her to cheat. Is she just a slut, or did you contribute to the situation. If so, accept this and learn and use the above steps to improve your situation.

Follow the above and in 6,9,12 months you wont recognise yourself.

[–]jiggyyoungdrew93 points94 points  (3 children) | Copy

Thank you man. Solid fucking advice. Appreciate you taking the time to make sure i know the steps to get back on my feet.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1007 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

How did she tell you bredda?

[–]Imtoosexyformypants1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A girl I dated cut it off with me in the beg of January and while she didn’t cheat I was really deceived on who she really was

It was bad for me and we stayed friends. It just prolonged the period of pain. Time away will allow your mind to get right, cut off contact for the time being, or forever.

Anyway a few weeks away, I feel loads better. Cut off all contact. Good luck mate, plenty of girls out there for you to meet, that’s could be friends, fwb, girlfriends etc

[–]__uwotm8__80 points81 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is the type of guy that should get endorsed here, not bitter tryhards

[–]SolarTortality20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

Agreed. Bitter try hards are fags. The anger phase from those who just found out about the red pill and the anger phase is beta as fuck

[–]iwanttoracecars1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I used to never understand this, but I'm like 5yrs deep laughing at this comment now

[–]SolarTortality0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

we were all there at one point haha

[–]iwanttoracecars1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, and looking back it was definitely a necessary part of the transition from lil bitch to real man lol

[–]meikyo_shisui11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen to this guy. And be thankful there are places like this you can get sound advice. Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you will not continue to feel as you do brother, I guarantee you.

[–]0io-26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is excellent advice. Great reply!

I never really thought about it before but one of the advantages of plates over LTRs is that it doesn't matter if they "cheat" because you're seeing other girls already and you weren't expecting them not to. You avoid the whole thing of feeling like you've been stabbed in the back, betrayed, and lied to

[–]Zedbrav3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best advice and sorry to hear what happened bro

[–]cuztrp2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"And if you don't know, now you knowwwww nigga"

[–]CodWhisperer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Quality post - good job!

[–]myoclonicdork0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man I really needed to hear this. I'm about 6 months into my new journey after my ltr cheated and bus chucked me. It still stings however. Hang in there OP.

[–]heres_johnnie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is fucking gold.

[–]MrFiles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This was a perfect comment. I just left my abusive girlfriend and even though she changed during the relationship I had a strong bond with this women and it hurts just the same.

Just remember block her from everything in your life. Be strong with your boundaries. Iorn gate baby

[–]Duke3180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I pretty much did this exact formula after finding out I was with a cheater. No women whatsoever for 2 years. Saved and changed my life forever.

[–]imtheoneimmortal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good advices but the part isn’t his fault meh

I think he has to recalibrate in future values or green flag for future or at least understand what’s LTR

[–]nummas28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

You have done well to not react on emotion and calmly ask her to leave.

The fact that you didn't react and turn it into drama is going to be the best form of revenge against her for you.

Hold strong and make no contact with her ever again. Block and delete every form of media associated with her and get ready to move on.

Go hang with a guy friend or two and vent if you feel the need. It will sting for a while but you will get through it.

Get yourself some rebound pussy if you like too.

[–]Obnoxiousjimmyjames0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This.

[–]CharlesChadworth13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fantastic work keeping composure. Block, delete and eliminate all aspects of her. Telling you to get over it will be redunadant as it will take time for you to feel better, however trust me when I say in time you will will feel indifferent about her and not give a fuck. How long? Well each person is different.

Keep busy, work on yourself and get group hobbies my man. The only way is up.

[–]ranchosteve20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

I use these types of experiences as a reminder why TRP exists. Your not a a machine and it will pass. The best thing to is better yourself always.

[–]icy_ghost9514 points15 points  (8 children) | Copy

Just disappear and don’t have any explication with her. It will leave her in the black, wondering regretting, while you’re on pace to become the best version of yourself.

[–]cuztrp9 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy

Do you really think she will be wondering regretting? You silly silly kiddo.

Hypergamy doesn't give two fucks about him. Did you see Deadpool 2? (Edit: I actually forgot what the movie was. But it was a Marvel sorry) Do you remember the ancient witch inside the female protagonist? That careless blood-thirsty bitch? That's how callous and vengeful hypergamy is. That's the evolutionary witch within every fucking girl.

The fact that she cheated on him and then told him proves that she doesn't give a fuck about him anymore and she's more than happy to suck the other guy's cock right now as I type you this comment and as OP drowns in his sorrow.

Women are calculating hoes. They wouldn't cheat on their partners if a better option they'd branch swing to didn't show up.

I had experience with this first hand. I was the one who this bitch cheated with with on her ex. She broke up with him and sucked my dick on the same day my friend.

Then we're in an LTR and her ex hit her up while our relationship was going through hard time. You think she thought it twice not to break up with me and not go back with him? Cuz she did. Just like that. The dude is overly beta. Now she's happy with him posting honey-like selfies with him and all's well. She got enough dick from me and now she's back to her provider.

Hypergamy is emotionless. Hypergamy doesn't care. Hypergamy doesn't see you as a human being. Hypergamy sees you as an opportunity.

Wake the fuck up.

[–]FalconWrite9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Time and place. That’s all it takes. And a reminder to never LTR a chick who cheated on somebody for you, holy shit what a bad investment

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If the dude had properly went no contact, she would've went back sooner. After my last ex cheated, I ghosted her so hard that she still tried to get in contact even years after. She got the message after the 4th year.

[–]icy_ghost950 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I get your point but don’t talk to me that way. Lower your fuckin tone. First, and second you’re right in what you saying but if you completely dissapear it will get her hamster spinning nonetheless and she can swing branches all she wants, she’s not gonna be happy. At one moment in her life, she’ll look back at what she had and she’ll cry and regret because OP would have worked on himself, forgot her and have now abundance.

[–]ArchsofArch-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have done stuff like this except getting on dick part.

Does it matter. You should follow your emotions. Maybe that guy and her have a friendship.

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should follow your emotions? Lol get all the way the fuck outta here

[–]Hambone_Malone1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are you a woman?

[–]imtheoneimmortal4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s the best, no talk or text to her She will get the hamster and you get the improvement and abundance

[–]barn3r5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

AWALT and hypergamy. Imagine living 60 years ago, not likely she would have done this to you. Sucks what society has become, but as men we just need to enjoy the decline. It comes with its ups and downs. Women are putting out more now than ever, but serious relationships are simply not as serious as they used to be.

Sorry this happened to you, my man. Time heals all wounds. Like it has been said many times already, focus on your self and goals. I advise staying away from women for now besides maybe a rebound. It’s the beginning of the rest of your life.

[–]hopscotchking5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m sorry this happened to you. It hurts. It absolutely hurts. It was a selfish thing for her to do and it has nothing to do with you. Be strong brother. PM me if you want to talk it out. I’ve been in your position.

[–]skrv100 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Currently, I'm facing a similar pain as you are. The fact that women will fuck guys behind your back or maybe even in your face fucks with your ego and makes you think you're not good enough. It really hurts to accept that no women will ever be your "one and only".

[–]cuztrp6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man. I relate to what you say... That one and only bullahit doesn't exist and hoes ain't loyal. When I was with my ex and she told she was happy her ex contacted her, I felt like a piece of shit. My confidence shattered and felt I was in the bottom of manly ranks.

But then, thinking about the relationship and everything that happened during it, I came to realise that I was the one contributing all the value to the relationship and that she's just trash and is not worthy of everything I did for her.

I was the one who made the relationship look special and I just realized that I had those sPeCiaL moments with many other girls as friends and I can easily replace her and start all over again with someone else.

"With someone else"? The fuck I'm thinking. I'm having FWBs from now on I'll enjoy my time with and fuck until they break. Fuck LTRs man. Such a waste of fucking time and unnecessary troubles. The drama, the bullshit they throw at you, the dread... Just why. Fucking why.

While I was with her, she was on a trip abroad and k felt like traveling to a nearby city where I live. Bro I hit 5 good female friends who could have been FWBs but didn't cuz I was on an LTR with her. 4 of them agreed and we all went to the city. Just like that. We all have immense power man. It's just girls make you forget you truly are.

[–]Biggdog22-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

We Eminem said “bitches they come they go Saturday through Sunday Monday through Sunday yo” internalize dat shit

[–]kayfab6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

I was with the ex 9y until one day she came into the house told me she was gonna love cause she found her soul mate made a passion of telling me how amazing he was and all they had in common. I been MGTOW since then and red pill too fuck women, they are all the same.

[–]someonesopinion69690 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

you seem extremely bitter. it's better that she was honest than dishonest and kept you around for years to come

[–]slaterhuckle-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

same

[–]HurricaneHugues-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

The level of remorseless betrayal is simply unreal. A good jab to the nose would set someone like that straight. But, there are laws and the system is geared against men

[–]Hozirr2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im sorry to hear that but you are completely right. You can start that part of your life all over again. Maybe mix up a lot of things and make yourself into the best person you can to show the world you are better than the person leaving you.

[–]Dark_T100 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

The dangers of making women your goal in life rather than your passion.

[–]Biggdog221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously. I’ve been trying to bang as money women as possible the past year and I feel unful filled. Really starting to realize why “women shouldn’t be your goal”

[–]onpuzzle2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

How come she told you? Backstory?

[–]BurnieSlander2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome brother!I see great things ahead for you.

[–]ainihon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry to hear man, you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. Just know it’s bad before it gets better. But it will get better. Like everyone says, Lift and love yourself.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hope it helps to know we've all been there. And from personal experience you become a better man after it. It will take some time to heal, but once you do things will get so much better for you. Work on yourself from the internal to the external, stay on your purpose man We got your back!

[–]MR37900 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man sucks to find out but at least you know some guys never know and end up marrying the women.

[–]BusterVadge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lift your ass off bro. Channel that anger into something positive. Get MAD.... And write down everything you want for your life from now on to 10 years into the future, then make a plan to make it happen.

[–]InsidiousCurve0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sucks man. It's good you held frame and told her to get out.....etc. Still doesn't numb the pain.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You know the drill my guy. No contact for life, no matter what. She didn't respect you, therefore she does not deserve your time or attention.

Delete her number and her text thread, delete her and all her closest friends off all your social media. No need to block. Just move on.

[–]AceMav210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Here's what you do. You hit the gym

[–]zxcvb78090 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All women step out from time to time.

[–]someonesopinion6969-4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Asktrp isn't the place to come and complain about being cheated on. unless you have a question, this isn't the place to come and complain

[–]FalconWrite4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ah fuck it, this is fine. He’s looking for guidance to deal with the shit feeling, and based on the thread metrics, the sub’s verdict is that this passes.

[–]ZykloniumGoyoxide-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

LTR was flag number one. You were her emotional boyfriend not her real one. At least not in her eyes. Avoid that shit like the plague.

[–]honeypuppet0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

LDR?

[–]ZykloniumGoyoxide0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LDR. Long distance relationship. I typo’d my original comment.



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