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Got falsely accused of sexual assault/rape. How to proceed? (Part 2)

Reddit View
February 19, 2019
180 upvotes

I was recently falsely accused of rape/attempted rape. Sally (using fake names for obvious reasons) the girl who claimed I tried to rape her told the police the truth and that I did not do anything to her and all we did was make-out.

Bob, the orbiter/white knight who came to Sally’s “rescue” is still spreading lies about me around campus claiming that I did indeed rape Sally, which is not true at all. Bob is in a prestigious campus organization and posted into his organizations private group chat (has over 100+ members) claiming that I raped Sally even after Sally explained to Bob (And the police) that I didn’t rape her, Bob is still telling people I did.

People are now labeling me a rapist, isolating me, ignoring me, avoiding me, and shunning me. Some of the people in my social circle have started treating me differently. I was also told not to come around Bobs organization, attend any of the organizations public events, or come around anyone that’s in he and Sally’s social circle (which is made up of influential student leaders on campus). I’m also now being black listed from joining specific campus organizations because people have formed a bias against me and are labeling me a rapist.

Sally and is not confronting Bob about it or clearing up the confusion. I have evidence, timestamps, receipts, call logs, texts, screenshots, video and audio recordings that prove my innocence.

I’m stressing out and I feel like I cannot talk to anyone other than my two friends one of which was at the party and told me to take Sally and the other of which was the first person I called when Sally “disappeared” from my apartment. I’m also finding myself starting to get severely depressed and avoiding places on campus in fear of being ridiculed or ostracized.

Today Bob saw me on campus and stared me down (basically sizing me up) and he smirked. A friend of mine also saw this happen.

People are also exaggerating the story claiming I was aggressive with Sally and would not let her leave my apartment that night and that she said no several times and I continued, all of which is not true/never happened.

I’ve contacted a lawyer and plan to go to the police station to get official copies of the police report, body camera footage, as well as video footage from my apartment complex.

Is there anything else I should do?

TL;DR- Guy keeps spreading false rumors that I raped/attempted to his female friend, when the girl already admitted I didn’t. It’s severely affecting my social life, campus involvement, and mental state.


Post Information
Title Got falsely accused of sexual assault/rape. How to proceed? (Part 2)
Author TRPKaty
Upvotes 180
Comments 142
Date 19 February 2019 08:30 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/219026
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/asf010/got_falsely_accused_of_sexual_assaultrape_how_to/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
orbiterwhite knight
Comments

[–][deleted] 281 points282 points  (51 children) | Copy

Sue Bob, Sally, and Bob's organization into the stone age. Take out a lien the stones.

[–]BookyMcBooks123 points124 points  (18 children) | Copy

Yeah, this might be a good option, imo. Maybe you can get a fuckton of money in damages, I mean, they're basically fucking ruining you socially, don't let these fucks get away with it.

[–]failingtheturingtest75 points76 points  (8 children) | Copy

"ruin you socially" is like saying that someone stabbing you has damaged your shirt.

This is organised, targeted slander. This person has enlisted their organisation to defame OP, not socially, but professionally.

[–]TRPKaty 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

Exactly. The worst part Bob told his organization AFTER Sally explained that it was not rape or sexual assault. So Bob knows it wasn’t rape but he’s still telling everyone it was. The main person blowing this up is Bob. I see Bob everywhere on campus now and he stares me down and smirks every time. It’s hard to restrain myself, but I understand Bob is a beta and if I even say one word to him, I’m screwed. He will twist the story to his favor.

[–]failingtheturingtest44 points45 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good that you're thinking about this soundly.

You're right, don't ever say another word to Bob. The person that speaks to Bob from now on is your lawyer. This is not a social thing, an AMOG thing, a chance to prove anything. This is now your professional future.

If you don't already know the 48 laws of power backwards, learn them. This is now the key to your survival.

Appear beaten. Let him think he's winning. Do not look smug, or like you have a plan or recourse. The only moment ANYONE in your life knows that you are taking action is when the papers are filed.

Sarah is complicit. She knows what's going on, but playing friendly. Play friendly in return. If she tries to talk, get more info from her. "gee Sarah, Bob told X that I did this. Did you tell him that? Oh, so he's making that up? What did he say when you told him it's not true? Why do you think he's changing your story? Is he trying to get you in trouble with the police, or does he think you're lying?"

Make her believe that you trust her, and that he's now making trouble for her. When she recalls these events, you want her to recall ALL the times she agreed that Bob is lying, that Bob is causing her trouble, and that you believe she's not involved. She WILL feel the NEED to keep her story the same.

Everyone who has ever repeated a word bob has said must end up in a position where they call Bob a liar, or they knowingly spread the false information. There must be proof that each and every person who mentioned word of this knew the origin as Bob. That they definitely spread the word. That they either they knew it was false (they're involved) or they believed WHAT BOB SAID was the truth. If they believed it, then Bob is responsible for them believing it. If they didn't believe it or they were unsure, they are working with Bob.

You cannot leave anyone standing. The reason false rape accusations kill a man's future is when they go after everyone. That is why organisations and institutions HAVE to distance themselves from any accused rapist. This is how you win. If they support him, in any way, they are supporting the act of intentionally and illegally spreading demonstrably false information to ruin your life.

This all happens ns legally. No threats. No warnings. No bargaining to get people on your side. Crush your enemy completely!

[–]organicfluxx4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop talking, go see a lawyer, take legal action and tell us how it goes.

[–]Mescalean4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sue dude, police report is on your side this is a no brainer. As soon as the judge sees the cops say you didnt rape her, sally admits to lying, and bob is continuing to lie. Pretty open shut case of slander/defamation.

[–]OracleofFl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This could be considered cyber bullying of you by Bob. There are new laws in some states and school regs about this. In any case, you can sue Bob for slander and libel. You may not get much money but you can get him to post an apology and retraction.

[–]MemphisBro-5 points-4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Honestly let it roll off your shoulders man. You’re getting worked up for nothing. People that don’t like you will lie about you that’s life. Just smirk back when he smirks at you, maybe even wink. If he says some crap act like you didn’t hear anything. If he touches you then defend yourself.

[–]MCAsomm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I never got into this before, but it's pretty obvious this is way past a petty quarrel you can smirk off.

How are you doing, Bob?

[–]TRPKaty 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

While the money for damages is a factor, I mostly care about my reputation. It’s not fun having people in your social circle avoid and isolate you. It’s not fun being labeled a rapist.

[–]FinancialElephant21 points22 points  (4 children) | Copy

Suing Bob kills two birds with one stone. Creating a spectacle out of it shows you dont tolerate lies told about you and you get some recompense for it. Win through your actions, not through argument.

[–]AloofusMaximus10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah but realistically bob is a college student and doesn't have any money. Someone actually has to be worth something, in order to get any damages out of them.

[–]isodomize14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

Even if its just a measly 8 grand from bobs shitty car, I'd still take it.

[–]AloofusMaximus10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Chances are you wouldn't. For one you'd have to pay out an ass ton for contingency fees (what the laywer takes when you can't afford an hourly rate, usually 40%). Then you pay taxes on it.

Damages also can't be financially disastrous to the defendant. If Bob's full net work is 8k, you can't get 8k. There's also a concept called remittitur (a defendant can have jury damages lowered), he can also appeal the initial judgement too.

This is why a huge chunk of civil lawsuits are settled, and also why people tend to sue companies rather than people (companies tend to have "deep pockets", individuals really don't).

Edit: Not saying you shouldn't explore this avenue, you absolutely should. Just don't expect it's anything like what most people "hear about".

[–]LackToesToddlerAnts1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What if he sues the frat and Bob?

[–]OracleofFl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You can get him to print a retraction on his facebook group and even take an ad out in the school newspaper apologizing.

[–]Eirineftis1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Second this. You could probably get away with sueing them for defamation.

[–][deleted] 97 points98 points  (9 children) | Copy

Sally may not have actually comitted a tort but the idea here is to sue her to drive a wedge between her and Bob. Make her think, "Bob why the fuck are you getting me sued." Get her to make a sworn statement contradicting Bob's statements and then possibly drop her from the case. The organization you sue mainly to get discovery and because it may have insurance. Also possible they will resent Bob getting them sued and turn on him.

[–]1InformalCriticism35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy

You must know a lawyer.

[–]superbad4life11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Agree to disagree. Sally instigated with a false accusation. Assuming that she hasn't been tried for slander, she fits in with Bob. I don't think you can go after the organization or anyone blacklisting as they did not do anything to spread.

[–]KettleLogic18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

His being banned from public events. If they have evidence they are banning him or talking with other groups to ban him it could be done by correspondence making it libel.

[–]TRPKaty 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I have a feeling that this is exactly what will happen. I’m an influential leader on campus as well. And people who are in Bobs organization are also leaders on campus and in other campus organizations and they will blacklist me from attending, joining, or becoming a member of anything.

[–]KettleLogic5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mmm. It's bullshit man. I do not envy your age group going through university at the moment. Make sure you listen to your lawyer on everything.

[–]Simpman40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You must be machiavellis son

[–]TRP_Lee_zard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thats very clever, and when Sally is pressed tell her you will drop charges if she testifies against Bob, destroy him and his white-knighting by the "Damsel is distress" herself

[–]SalporinRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

best advice in this thread

[–]GucciGangBucks28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

When people wonder why MGTOW is becoming so popular its shit like this. I feel for you man. This is very fucked up. My only advice is your story honestly seems juicy enough to go viral. If I were you I’d email a couple people who support men content and see if you can get a platform to have your story go public. Email Entrepreneurs in cars, rollo tomasi, Elliot Hulse, LUA, etc. someone might give you a platform.

I’d also take this to the top of the school. This is a modern feminist culture thing that needs to be fought. You can’t back down from this.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was thinking the same, but if he’s going to sue media coverage may not be the best thing until he wins.

[–]yumyumgivemesome11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, OP, collect evidence and witnesses of Bob's slander and libel. Don't just get those witnesses to agree in person; get them to describe in an audio or video recording how Bob has been tarnishing your name. You may be able to find a lawyer to guide for free so that you can handle the case pro se (without a lawyer) in small claims court.

[–]stawd10 points11 points  (9 children) | Copy

Close friend of mine did this. Worked out big

[–]red2hilt5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy

Could you give some (obviously anonymous) details?

[–]stawd25 points26 points  (7 children) | Copy

Girl cheated on bf with my friend (say Moe), texted Moe the morning after saying she enjoyed herself. Boyfriend found out, she tried to cover her ass by saying she was blackout drunk and was taken advantage of. The couple went to the university, but not the law, and Moe was immediately suspended and later expelled. Moe became very active pursuing settlement for damages, the couple then texted Moe 2 years later saying it was all made up and they’re sorry and don’t want these problems in their life. Moe sued the couple and the university for hella $$$.

[–]red2hilt9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

I'm sorry, I really don't see this as "working out big". I don't want to spend 2 years suing anyone, and neither should anyone else.

we need something better.

[–]stawd4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Big” referring to monetary value. My original comment was very vague, that’s my bad.

What the couple and university did was completely out of his control. He made the most out of the cards he was dealt by pursuing settlement.

What we need to be better is how public institutions (i.e. a university) treats these things. They disciplined based solely on word of mouth and no hard evidence, and this certainly isn’t the only case this has happened.

[–]red2hilt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't understand. Did he get a payoff from the university and/or the couple, and how much?

we could get something useful going here, to turn the tide on false accusations.

if you click my comments, you'll see how I just referenced how Weinstein (actual calls-a-business-meeting-with-zero-rapport-or-prior-contact-locks-the-door-and-lunges-at-you-and-rapes-you-then-sues-you-to-shut-up-about-it rapist) would sue people into silence. But he never asked for money from them.

So this would be a point of difference...

so how much was the payoff?

[–]UncleWarwick2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It takes time for these things to sort themselves out.

[–]HurricaneHugues2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Are u kidding? There is a certain level of wrong that people do to you, that automatically requires you to pursue them all the way to the gates of hell.

When he says 2 years, it's not like he was in court everyday. His life went on normally with the few lawyer visits and court appearances. They got the man expelled. Is he supposed to roll over? Plus in the end he was able to secure a strong bag.

[–]red2hilt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I guess that is one way to look at it.

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know what they say Moe money Moe problems

[–]TRPKaty 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

I’m planning on it. I will be meeting with a lawyer this week. My only worry is I have no idea how I will pay for the lawyer since I’m in college.

[–]SolarTortality2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You could possibly get a lawyer to agree with getting a sizable cut of your winnings as a payment. Especially if you can find someone sympathetic to your cause and you go in prepared to lay out all the evidence you have on the first time you meet him.

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shop around for lawyers. Some lawyers don't charge you unless they win the case, and they only take cases they know they'll win. Don't just speak to one guy. I wouod suggest you eve visit the LegalAdvice subreddit, present your situation and ask if there are any lawyers in your are on the sub, and if so, to point you to their website.

[–]mabden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First consultations with lawyers are usually free and they will assess your cases viability to you and also to them on whether to pursue or not. Interview several to get a feel for your best options and how they would proceed with your case, what you would need to produce for evidence, especially what your damages are/would be and likely outcomes if you move forward with suing.

Having damages (monetary is best) is the key to your case. Your situation is based on slander, so it goes into civil court, aka the twilight zone of our legal system, instead of criminal court where everything is pretty much cut and dry.

You may get a lawyer willing to go on a contingent basis where they take a percentage (usually 30 - 35%) of the settlement(s).

Per jadeHelm2015's advice/comment, my experience with lawyers (real sharks) is that once they get involved, they will sue everyone involved to maximize effect and leverage the most out of the case. Think spaghetti thrown at the wall.

Good luck.

[–]SolarTortality1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This.

This is your only real option tbh. Sue them publicly. You have evidence, win. Clear your name and have his organization dismantled.

[–]sternje0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

For what damages, though? You have to be able to show actual damages with real dollar values attached when it comes trial time. Negotiate a settlement is frequently the preferred route.

[–]SolarTortality0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Slander is damaging. He said he lost out on job opportunities.

I’m not a lawyer though so I really don’t know shit

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is beyond redpills control unfortunately we are preventive medicine. This situations far beyond that unfortunately. Just remember wherever you go you will probably receive little sympathy so you will have to push your side of the story to be heard even if you're being truthful & in good faith.

Good luck brother.

[–]grabthecactus134 points135 points  (4 children) | Copy

You might want to post on the legaladvice subreddit, they could probably help more

[–]isodomize28 points29 points  (2 children) | Copy

They'll help him until they see his post history here. lol. Then they'll just say you deserved it because you're a misogynistic pig who frequents TRP subs. Better create a throwaway before you post on the legaladvice sub.

[–]Nitsujsith7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

he could make a 2nd account

[–]SaucySasquatch5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thats what “better make a throwaway” means

[–]Terdmuffin50 points51 points  (3 children) | Copy

Your lawyer isprobbaly going to give you better advice than anyone here but it's definitely with looking into your universities code of conduct and see what the official channels are. I wouldn't do that until you've got your evidence or without the help of your lawyer.

If anything gets out of hand at school go the local news stations and see if they'll run the story. Maybe they run it maybe they won't but if they run it with the angle of you're basically being driven out of the uni because they won't do anything to curtail this guy's bs (university and rape in the same headline is gonna generate some views) then it's gonna look terrible for them.

[–]failingtheturingtest14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also be very prepared for the universities code of conduct to specifically make this harder for you. They aren't designed to protect students from slander. They're designed to protect the university from being liable.

[–]jackandjill221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

They're not going to do that. They always take the victims side bro. Until there is some concrete ruling like with mattress girl this dudes up shits creek without a paddle.

[–]morningdew4201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree with the first part but I don't think going to a news station is gonna be helpful. They wanna publish more stories where the women are the victims, not the other way around

[–]RunawayGrain29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sally and is not confronting Bob about it or clearing up the confusion.

... and she isn't going to, either, because this is the plan. This is pretty much how my crazy ex operated too. Stir up enough shit that a white knight takes up her cause, then step back for plausible deniability.

It’s severely affecting my social life, campus involvement, and mental state.

Now here's the thing, Bob is getting off being a hero, at least in his own mind. Even if these people are shown tons of evidence, some of them are stubborn and arrogant, and won't admit that they are wrong. Sally could point blank tell them it didn't happen, and they would point blank tell her she's in denial.

So the two options would be exploring Title IX with a lawyer, or moving.

My money would be on Title IX and getting what you can, if anything, form the school, while having moved elsewhere.

And yeah, I know your thinking about all the effort you've put in, and you're pandering to the sunk cost fallacy, but this shit is going to be like an STD that has flair ups periodically. So best to just leave and go to a clean environment.

[–]livefreeofdie4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would say sue the fuck out of whoever you can. Then leave too.

Do both.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb38 points39 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is grounds for slander. Take him to court, post all about it, do whatever you need to do to fast track the case, show people they don't fuck with you, and collect on the rep of (oh shit this guy doesn't fuck around).

Really, shoulda beat his ass. But, that's not always a good way considering the circumstances with your school.

I'd realistically sue the fuck outa him and claim he ruined your entire 4 year college career. This guys a doosh and almost worse than false rape accusations (it was false and he's still trying to pin it on OP)

Edit: Like this is exactly the reason slander is a punishable offense, your entire social life has been affected from this one person. fuck him, take his money, let people know.

Edit2 cause I cant post a reply:"This, sue them both, fuck both of them. Sally probably did what she did out of fear and didnt want the police involved from the start, but she cant be out here just doin this shit and it'll likely help your case if the wedge is created. Feel like you need to sue her too. Although, that won't improve clout points with the females, and idk if it's needed to prove your case so that's something to weigh too. "

Edit3: Title whatever AND slander

[–]jackandjill226 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Beating his ass is the worse thing he could do. That would legitimize his claims & make him look like a violent perpetuator. He needs to lawyer up & untangle the situation.

[–]Gr33d3ater0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I breezed through it but with a slander case there needs to be 1) monetary damages, and 2) intent to defame.

Monetary damages is easy. Timelines usually corroborate lost jobs with events like these fairly well. Proving that the defendant both knew it was false and knowingly spread the lie with intent to harm your reputation is hard. Usually it involves getting access to private communications between people, and I don’t know if a judge will grant a warrant to open someone’s private texts to a court over a matter like this.

BUT: this is harassment plain and simple. Tell them to stop in some recordable way. A text message is fine. When they continue, go to the sheriffs office and report the harassment, try to record it somehow because that’ll be huge. Next you’ll ask to file or be advised to file something called an APO, active protection order, or PFA in some states (protection from abuse) but in my experience PFA orders are more for domestic issues. Now; this APO does everything you need it to do. They cannot talk to you, and it can be a requirement of the APO that they not spread these rumors about you. The courts cannot compel speech, however, and will not be able to force a public retraction, apologies, admittance if wrongdoing or anything like that. They can only prevent further harassment and upgrade the penalty through a writ like the APO.

One of two things or both may result from this, fallout for them and fallout for you. For them it could mean ostracism and hate, or it could backfire on you and now you’re the guy who lied to the cops to get an innocent girl in legal trouble. From that there’s no real recourse. You can’t APO an entire school.. the APO could potentially remove them from school grounds or buildings during your class hours, though I’m not sure if the judge will impose a distance on an APO. But, if they violate the APO they get to enjoy a few nights in jail to think about the hull shit they’ve caused.

I don’t know anything and I’m not a lawyer and this is NOT intended to be legal advice.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like this! Although I wouldn’t say it’d be hard to attribute grades to job markets and loss of money for a competitive school. Also, I don’t think it’d be too hard to equate loss of pussy with defaming from dude saying he raped a girl when he knew from the get go he didn’t. Case en point if ya ask me!

[–]mrpthrowa11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take this much more seriously than just contacting a lawyer. It’s been some time and you haven’t actually had a good session with one? You’re half assing the lawyer part and you’re still coming to a bunch of internet jerks for advice .

[–]mineralranch8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do not confront Bob. He has the power in this situation and will be able to spin it any way he wants. If you confront him, he'll most likely claim that you were aggressive and threatening. Something very similar happened to me and my lawyer told me to completely cut contact with these people. Anything you say to them can be weaponized and used against you. If anyone asks you about it, disconfirm the story but don't hand out details. WORK WITH A LAWYER.

As far as the mental and emotional aspect of it, get a therapist. It sucks, but when it comes down to it, the most reliable people in your life at the moment are going to be the ones you have to pay. I'm sorry that you have to go through this shit. Thankfully, you have evidence and that is an absolute godsend. You sound pretty smart; just stick in there a little longer and try your best to not make emotionally charged decisions. You may have to switch schools eventually to totally erase the stigma that is attached to you. People don't care about evidence; people don't want their worldview changed. Don't bother changing anyone's mind. Best of luck.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's just what I said. Right now this is in the court of public perception & he's losing .

[–]Nushuktan-Tulyiagby9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you can prove slander, then sue. But acquiring proof or witnesses may be tough.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Slander and libel are some of the hardest cases to prove. You have to not only prove damages but intent. This will definitely take more than one witness and more than one black-and-white print example.

[–]ironchef-uk13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sally should be facing some legal consequences for her behaviour. If a guy did the same he would be getting done for wasting police time or some similar charge

[–]DeusVictor7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

The guy that is spreading the false info is the one that should be sued.

[–]mrpthrowa4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

No she won’t.

[–]CaiusBard6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

For the legal stuff, talk to a lawyer and sue the fuck out of his ass.

For the mental part, just know that this will blow over soon. Nobody is gonna care in a few weeks outside of Sally/Beta Bob

[–]AlphaAbundance4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is your chance to test yourself to see if you are a true alpha. A man who can be in solitude. A man who can be independent of validation, socializing and a social safety net. This is a man who will reach the deepest depths of human bliss. Realize that with this circumstance you are losing nothing that you don't already have within you.

[–]PolesWithGoals3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sue the absolute fuck outta the people who tried to screw you. Godspeed, brother

[–]yes_kid3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sue, sue, sue. Go to a lawyer and SUE THE SHIT OUT OF THEM AND THE UNIVERSITY.

[–]Rat_bro2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sue this beta piece of human filth into the stone age. And Sally and the organization. Please do it. For every man this happens to. Some even see time in jail. Please sue them and keep us updated.

[–]T-P-T-W-P2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Currently in and MBA/Law program. If this slander is as public as you are indicating, you could win significant damages from Bob and possibly the organization. Someone above said to sue Sally, and even though you likely won’t win, its a good idea to your benefit, you use it to defuse the social stigma you’re experiencing. In the Bob/org. claim, a good lawyer will depose Sally and Bob to start and as long as these group chats aren’t being entirely wiped and other forms of slander/discrimination against you can be documented, your case will essentially be won from the start (once again assuming all of this evidence is as identifiable and widespread as you claim). Depending on your lawyer’s advice and initial claim, I would only settle in the case of life changing money because this is definitively a life changing event. Bottom line though, please take legal action, this is a clear example of the shitty dynamics that currently surround these type of situations and if you don’t, you are not only hurting yourself, you’re inadvertently hurting men who go through this every day now and in the future.

[–]rugged793 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Keep your head down and keep up with the proper procedures.

Confronting the dude might be an option if you can keep your cool. IMO you don't sound like you can, and if it turns into an issue where you strike first, you'll be known as the VIOLENT rapist. Plus she probably told him some version of the story that makes her look like Princess Toadstool and makes you look like Bowser. So from his point of view, you raped her.

[–]buddahbusted0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Confronting is stupid. He’s not going to back down now after putting his own reputation on the line.

[–]MCAsomm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get off asktrp and go consult your lawyer like everyone said. Sue them both for the money and move out to another place with equal/better job opportunities for whatever you're in, if possible.

[–]DadOnDabs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get screen shots of the chat, file a complaint with the campus, take him to civil court for libel or slander.

[–]Crixusgannicus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sue em all, especially the organization 'cause that's where the money is. Get a media savvy lawyer too who can drag them through the mud.

The best defense is....

[–]i8a4re731 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get a lawyer and go scorched earth on Bob. Make him pay for this one financially and secondly it will clear your name

[–]AceMav211 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Here's what you do. Reserve yourself. Compose yourself. Understand that a college campus is an artificial social environment, run a fuck you lies and rumors post on social media. The only thing this bullshit threatens is networking with Alumi to catalyze your career progress. This may have some measure of threat toward some opportunities you haven't been presented yet. That's what you have to improvise and defend against. Secure yourself in an internship or void everything and transfer colleges. Remember, never shit were you eat and prospect women intelligently. Drunk hookups not jointed to your social circle or environment are the lowest risk.

Also with all your evidence, fucking publicize it play the game if you want people love this shit. It's the reason why fist fights are recorded and put on Facebook with fuckers shouting "world star". If you fight your social respect will be restored. Just understand how you want to pivot at this point.

[–]AceMav210 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Or just fucking sue if you have the finances lol

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But the cultural battle is not the legal battle, he is being forced to fight both

[–]Kabuki4311 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get a lawyer to write a cease and desist letter to bob and sally. If they dont provide a written apology and verbal video recording. Your lawyer will sue them into ground.

Or good old beat the shit out of bob.

[–]Mescalean1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sue bob for defamation/slander. No brainer dude. Sally as well.

[–]SteveStJohn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is slander. Start documenting your loss: reputation, being socially ostracized, and anything that might be connected.

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you live in a jungle? Sue those fucking clowns. Don't be a pussy about it. When victims like you don't take approriate enough actions against these fake accusers after your name's been cleared, it leaves other people open to catching flase charges because false acuusers know that there are no consequences to their actions.

Fucking sue Bob, his organization, Sally, AND the school for no taking approriate action to protect you. There is no other way around it. If you don't defend yourself and go back on the offense, you deserve to be put in jail for being so weak and pathetic.

[–]chaching1315 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

severely depressed?? Why? because you can't join peoples little clubs. What happened to this guy "Background on me: HIGH SMV, 8/10, Athletic Body/Muscular Physique, nice jaw, attend top university, hard STEM major, guaranteed job, have a nice car, service man, and have a hobby that makes me money."

Like you went from that to acting like a little bitch in this post. You didn't even have charges put against you and this post reads like a completely different person from the last post. This is just pathetic. Are people being meannnn to you :( You're gonna be fine you little baby.

[–]jackandjill223 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Bro. This is probably one of the most ignorant statements in this Fucking thread.

[–]chaching1311 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

OP comes off as a rich kid overconfident fagget in his original post and I hated him from square one. It even goes to show how weak his frame is after going from that cocky guy to the severely depressed guy in this post. Kid has never faced adversity in his life and it shows just by reading how defeated he is here when he wasn't even charged with anything. He still has all the gifts in the world (summarized in his first sentence of the original post) and he's severely depressed now?! Give me a break. He could move anywhere and have a better life than 95% of the rest of the human population. That said I still do not wish a false accusation on him or anyone regardless of my feelings for that person (even in this case). All that said... OP needs to sack up and grow up. I could go on but I'll stop now... and I'll probably get banned already for this shit.

[–]justnicepersonhater-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

"op needs to grow up" wut? youre less aware than stones

future OP bossess will receive emails from bob saying hes a rapist and fire him

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would sue the shit out of them, lawyers are very expensive but you have a verbal statement documented that it was a false accusation. Also get evidence of his post.

[–]flapjacksrbetter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

RemindMe! 100 days

[–]usernameishardtomake0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can you plz update on this situation later bud. Thx

[–]nawatcrow200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lawyer up

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get a restraining order against Bob.

[–]PussyofBengal0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Lol look at all the autists here. Bobs shit testing you bro. Agree and amplify.

On a serious note, lawyer up and sue. You’re not going to get your rep back. The comments here echo my sentiments

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreeing would give Bob confirming evidence dude, is not that easy

[–]vivid_mind0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bob thinks Sally gives him some pussy and Sally enjoys attention and that people feel sorry for here. People on campus probably couldn't care less but don't want to be seen "siding with rapist". Pretty shitty situation. Some people probably still are going to believe it even if Bob and Sally come forward and say sorry.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You said she made the rape claim, then told the police nothing happened. Am I following that correctly?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Go up and talk candidly to anybody that you think this dude has talked to.

Groups if possible. Be humble and friendly but put details out there when you do to clear up the lies that are being spread about you. Unfortunately many people make decisions based on gossip, not logic. That’s where this thing is at now.

[–]thy_shall_win0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sorry but there comes a time when one must defend himself and teach people like Bob who is obviously a weirdo a lesson before he does it again or continues his current spreading.

[–]Herdsengineers0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Used to be you could just go kick Bob's ass, let the truth come out in the aftermath, everyone would go "well, bob deserved it" and that would be the end of it.

These days, though, it's tough. I'd recommend transfer to a new school, and also explore what recourse against Bob, his organization, and Sally is. Run it by a lawyer first, see if said lawyer can make some case stick for harassment, slander, etc. Stay away from the school's administration, at least to start. They're so BP'd and feminized, going to the school right now might make it worse.

I'd also recommend to start recording anyone and everyone who speaks to you about the situation. Keep all texts as well. Record both friend and non-friend as well. Friends might mean well, but if asked to actually testify, they can get squeamish. Recordings of them can help you.

[–]ainihon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Take comfort in the thought that now is the time and only time you’ll see who your true friends are. If you need to be a lone wolf so be it. But get out of This, strong.

[–]shredgnarrr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Jeesh I only got out of school 5 years ago. Amazing how much crazier it is today. Lawyer up and ask on a sub for more appropriate advice

Get records and screenshots and app screenshots/logs. Make sure it can’t be modified and make sure it can be proven in court, and put it on a cloud backup. (Source I have won two civil suits in court and proved my case with text messages). Last thing you want is a he said she said battle that gets thrown out

Good luck

[–]Hyper_Sonik0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do the opposite and just embrace it. Tell people you think she's a hotty and she better leave you alone next time. Be all like, yeah next time you get sneaky with me and work your way into my bed, I'll fuck you then hang you up on my wall beside the Moose antlers.

[–]NeverLace0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This makes me fuming. Sue them.

[–]WarViper13370 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely do not go to the police unless they arrest you and even if they do arrest you do not make any statements unless your lawyer is present. You only need to state that you want a lawyer present to protect your constitutional rights and nothing more until the lawyer arrives.

Next have your lawyer handle any and all correspondence between you and the police.

Do not make any admission of guilt or that you had sex. They must prove that the act of sex happened if you don't say anything and often this leads to the police dropping the case.

Do not hand any evidence over to the police. Let your lawyer handle that.

Consult your lawyer about opening a title 9 investigation against her. Since it will shift the focus onto her to prove that the act happened in the first place and you claim to have evidence that it didn't. This could work well in favor and save you a boatload of money.

[–]oooKenshiooo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As much as I like it - do not beat the crap out of Bob.

  1. Sue him. Make it an official affair.
  2. Get your depressions officially diagnosed.
  3. Threaten to sue your school should they still tolerate you being discriminated on school ground, hence causing you depression.
  4. Tell them to release an official statement of your innocence forcing student campus organizations to let you participate in any event of your choosing.
  5. Once that is achieved, smirk at Bob.

[–]FKaroundNfindOUT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This situation happend to a very close friend in college. The main difference was, the girl didn't confess anything was false but the circumstances were ludicrous (he was painted as strong arming a woman from her friends down town, all the way back on a student public trolley to HER DORM ON THE SECOND FLOOR OF A FEMALE ONLY DORM past 40 plus rooms and multiple individuals who she neglected to display any distress to ect).

He was on a student Visa (from S. America) and an active member of student government and a bunch of other groups and charities, friends with everyone and everyone liked him.

The accusations and storm that followed hurt him a lot but really tore the campus apart. It helped that his side consisted of every involved person and the other was the nameless mass of believe all women.

Still sucked. He eventually recovered.

Conversely, a slightly awkward exchange student I knew around the same time was black bagged and deported on a mere accusation. I only discovered he was gone when his absence stretched beyond having the flu.

[–]yettymonkey0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

u/TRPKaty which country do you live in? The more liberal the more likely you wont gain any real legal traction. If its the USA and its a super liberal state (cali,NY,IL) then the same applies. You may be better off looking for scholarships to study aboard or changing universities. Are you almost done with your studies at least?

[–]RedPilledRoaster0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Please update us on how this goes. Would make for a very interesting post

[–]bigcakehole0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like the most effective and efficient solution would be for Sally to break contact with Bob. That action alone should tell anyone with a brain that Bob is full of shit. Or if that isn't an option for some reason. Perhaps Sally could explain to Bob that he's wasting his energy.

"Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

Joanna Weaver, Having a Mary Spirit: Allowing God to Change Us from the Inside Out

[–]Battletoad1010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hit the weights

[–]Battletoad1010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hahaha long reach but try gaming sarah and make her your ltr, then no one can say shit

[–]ironchef-uk2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bob sounds like a bitch. Firstly, call him out on his shit. If possible corner him, and confront him. By the sounds of it he’ll probably shit his pants. If you can record the convo without him knowing, do that. Make sure to direct the conversation to the fact that sally admitted she lied.

Use the evidence to sue Bob and Sally, get paid!

[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You need to grab ahold of yourself dude.

You are FREE AS A BIRD. In fact you are super lucky.

She told the truth, the charges were dropped, and you avoided a potentially lengthy and expensive legal battle.

So what if Bob is spreading rumors? Fuck Bob. Fuck his little clubs too. You should be dancing and singing and rejoicing that you aren't in prison being turned into someone's booty-boy.

Stop paying attention to rumors and slander. Stop obsessing over your reputation. It is done, there is nothing more you can do about it, and it is time to move on with your life.

TLDR- You caught a lucky break. GET OVER IT

[–]ziphias0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is really shitty advice. I would stay in your lane and away from legal advice type situations.

[–]TheFastCat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A different idea: Take the high road with Bob at every opportunity. Avoid awkwardness - say hello to him when you see him with a casual wave, ignore his weird behavior completely, make him feel like it is invisible to you.

I would print out every text message, email, conversation, put them in a nice laminated binder along with a written statement of facts from you, your friends who were at the party (written separately -- and in their own voice) who and make an appointment with the Dean. It would be a huge win if you can get Sally in that meeting as well. Probably a long shot but asking her for a favor, an hour of her time in exchange for a meal somewhere, whatever is a good idea (or even help her with a favor she needs herself). It's a big ask but women generally appreciate displays of faith.

You need to explain the situation to the dean and show him how your campus life is being affected; but be sure not to accuse or defame Bob in the process. You do not want it to be a he said/she said thing. Stick to the facts. Make it about *you* and the effects on *you* -- that makes it an easy thing for the dean to fix -- helping *you*, and avoids putting him in an arbitration between you and Bob. Deans hate that shit. The desired result is a follow up meeting with the Dean and Bob (without you) where the Dean presents your information ON YOUR BEHALF and tells bob to stop the creepy, stalkerish, immature behavior. "Bob I wanted to discuss with you a meeting I had last week with a classmate of yours.." -- Bob of course does. Next time you see Bob you still wave and say hello as normal as if nothing is different, as you do with all of your gossipy, know-nothing peers. Let them hamsterize themselves to their own verdict: "I heard Bob got a warning from the Dean for stalking Anon and Sally" "Yeah I guess he invented those rumors about Anon like that Jussie Smollett did", "Creepy", "Totally". If asked about it, act stupid, bury it, move on with your life.

It is the Dean's job to lay down sweet justice on campus and going this route saves you from legal costs, anxiety, and gets the situation resolved much faster than the courts. You are already paying the Dean's salary with your tuition - time to get some value out of it.

[–]red2hilt-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy

I disagree with the advice in here, specifically the advice to sue Sally, because it is indistinguishable from the tactics that Weinstein used to silence his literal rape victims. Remember that Weinstein would call women he had 0 rapport with into meetings through their agents, posing as a business meeting, close and lock the door, lunge at them and literally rape them. Then he would sue them and hire people to destroy their lives.

For these reasons I am very wary of this suing advice.

Since Sally did not in any way make any false statement about you, I would leave her out of it.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Hm. Idk man. He's going to need to sue them but not as if he has something to hide.

[–]red2hilt0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Seems like a huge waste of time but to be honest the thread doesn't have great advice for him.

When he posted part 1 he kind of got some advice, but nothing really great, based on the update we just read.

There's just no great advice here.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True.

[–]RedPilledRoaster0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Who gives a fuck about Weinstein

He only needs to sue her long enough that she makes a statement against Bob. Then he can have her case dropped

[–]red2hilt0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

There's no case at the moment, just public (university) opinion.

You want this innocent guy's legal actions to be indistinguishable from the worst rapist's? (70+ literal rapes, zero consent and very violent). Doesn't seem like a great strategy to me...

[–]RedPilledRoaster0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It really doesn't matter

You sound like liberals comparing Trump to Hitler

[–]red2hilt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In bizarro-world, if I'm accused of a murder that literally didn't happen (there was no murder, victims are like, hello, we're fine and nothing happened), I don't want my trial and optics around it to look and feel like the O.J. Simpson murder trial. (Even though he was found not-guilty.) By analogy I don't want to do what guilty people do.

And as for being accused of a murder that literally didn't happen, with the victim denying it, this is the bizarro-wprld we're living in. Just read the post.

[–]TheRedPillMonkey-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get friends to spread rumors about Bob bragging about fucking Sally. Like, real dirty shit. It will make it's way back to Sally who will get pissed at Bob. If Sally is pissed at Bob, Bob has no reason to white Knight her. She then may set the record straight because she hates Bob so much. Then start dating Sally just to put the nail in the coffin on this rape shit. Nobody dates their rapist.

Or, get a lawyer. That will get you a lawsuit and money, but guilty people get lawyers too so it's not like that will really help your reputation. Just help your wallet.

[–]aShiftyLad-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bob could always have an unfortunate accident. :)

[–]bugrakoc-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Better call Saul.

[–]donkeydodo-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sue Bob —> attend to a big social meeting with a PowerPoint of the proof and claim that they’ve falsely accused you

[–]sebastianconcept-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Question, is Bob a SJW or that organization leaning to the left?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think the others here have given you really solid advice already. But my heart goes out to you man! Please hold your frame, you will get through this! Good luck, buddy.

[–]sebastianconcept-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, guys we need to be on camera all the time, victimist mindset is becoming epidemic, we need preemptive defense (not reactive)



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