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Hard next after revelation from LTR

Reddit View
February 20, 2019
455 upvotes

So I was taking us (LTR and I) to a trip that I had planned a few weeks prior that I wanted to make to take some time of work. Some minutes in to the drive she tells me she met with an old male friend of hers for coffee (that she previously had a crush on). She told me nothing happend but AWALT. So, I turned the car around, dropped her off at her home while she begged me to continue driving to the destination. Told her she should not expect any further messages from me. Too harsh?

Edit: I still took the trip alone. Guess I will have a free spot next to me tonight.


Post Information
Title Hard next after revelation from LTR
Author BadDeath
Upvotes 455
Comments 183
Date 20 February 2019 04:26 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/219185
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/asqac3/hard_next_after_revelation_from_ltr/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
AWALTlong term relationshiphard nexting
Comments

[–]GGrub8243 points244 points  (5 children) | Copy

Her confession can be translated as: "Our relationship is dead but I plan on taking advantage of your commitment until I have secured a new one. You don't have the guts to drop me on the spot anyway so I'll enjoy this power trip as well."

Little did she know that the last sentence isn't true 100% of the time.

[–]spndxwra40 points41 points  (0 children) | Copy

this!

i just learnt this from an ex.. so true

[–]Stargazer3421 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking nailed it. YUP!

Love it!

[–]ValorElite28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her confession

Best reason why she just dropped it at the beginning of a road trip: she had to get it off her chest

[–]1walawalawa270 points271 points  (25 children) | Copy

Bravo! This is something EVERY dude whinging about the one who got away should read.

You showed balls. You now have total hand over her.

Leave her to stew and beg. Bang a few other girls and if you can manage, turn her into a plate. if not, just ghost her for good. This was an inspirational post.

[–]BadDeath[S] 100 points101 points  (24 children) | Copy

Thank you. It was a decision that I had to make quickly and that is only possible if you know your boundaries and know when, and when not, they are crossed.

[–]WeddingCrasher9120 points21 points  (17 children) | Copy

Have you guys expressed your boundaries to each other before?

[–]BadDeath[S] 85 points86 points  (16 children) | Copy

We did. No drinking, no clubbing, no meetings behind my back

[–]WeddingCrasher91 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

What you did was so right. I envy you right now because i didn't have the balls to drop my previous wife on the first whim of bullshit

[–]cupshadow3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Were you married already when the first whim of bullshit happened? Because I get when men tries to get along with a shitty marriage, divorce is a disaster.

[–]WeddingCrasher91 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Its not because divorce was a disaster. I decided to continue just for the green card. Little did i know that being a doormat lost me my marriage and green card

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Shitty situation to need to depend on her for something so important.

Throws the power balance ALL out of whack. So much extra work involved,

and keeping a marriage on course ain't no joke to begin with.

[–]DayGameChirality17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then you're golden. I was totally expecting a "no, we didn't" or "sort of" kind of answer, way too prevalent on this sub (i.e. "I punished her for something she didn't know she was going to be punished for"). I'm positively surprised.

[–]Dumweight5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You did great bro

[–]ValorElite4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

How did you convey those boundaries without looking like a jealous guy who mate guards?

I have shifted to not telling her to do anything; she needs to already behave properly with simple issues like these.

[–]justfortingles8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think the topic of how men can use jealousy/possessiveness to cement their role as leader in a relationship (regardless of the nature of said relationship ie. as fuckbuddies/ltr/marriage) could use some more coverage in TRP.

For the most part, women do like to submit to strong, authoritative men. Whether or not they acknowledge that truthfully and consciously is another matter...

Jealousy can be very hot. Being told what to do can be very hot. Firm, direct, no nonsense boundary setting can make any relationship easier for both parties.

[–]Rav_the_slav9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I find it very easy to convey boundaries talking indirectly. "Oh, my friend dumped his ex for going out clubbing behind his back". She'll follow up with whatever stupid questions and you simply state your OPINION that you agree with your friend. She'll get the hint.

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The saying goes, "women are the oldest teenager in the room."

Kids thrive on love and strong, healthy boundaries.

This includes us, ourselves too. After adulthood, we're all responsible for being our own parent.

Being able to set boundaries, internal and external, is a key lesson on the path called adulthood,

and a huge part of what TRP is all about. OP seems to have the internal ones very clear.

Not a wall, but a door, with the latch on the inside.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Why no to clubbing?

[–]jefferson_19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

IMO, together, hell yeah, without me, fuck off. I've hooked up with girls in the club before as they were complaining about their boyfriends. AWALT.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I typically go salsa dancing and there is zero chance I’d be giving that up for someone else.

[–]HurricaneHugues5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Bang an escort, to get your mind of your ex and cement your decision.

[–]Hambone_Malone25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

Personally, banging a pro is just empty and gives me nothing. Now if I can convince a lady to put my penis in her mouth using my charm and wit, then that is something that will get my mind off of an ex. Just my opinion and personal taste.

[–]HurricaneHugues2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not about giving you anything. It's about getting your nut off to another chick. If you want to and can just pull, then go pull and get that done.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

That’s bad advice. Banging hookers is an empty experience, does nothing for your confidence, takes down some of your money, and can even lead to sex addictions. I myself developed a sex addiction by banging hookers. I recommend just approaching women or hanging with the boys.

[–]HurricaneHugues3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's like saying having 1 drink after work may turn you into an alcoholic

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah it can actually. Depends what kind of person you are of course. Not everyone who bangs a hooker or gets a drink after work will become addicts, but you increase the odds.

Having one drink after work one time, can turn into doing it a few more weeks, then every week, then every day, then 2 drinks a day, then more etc.

Same with hookers. I started off with “I’ll just bang one to get confidence”

Banged her, didn’t perform well. Then I said “hmm I’ll practice a bit more and go again.” Went again got slightly better. Then I decided to keep going to get practice. But underneath all that an addiction was being developed and my thoughts were merely rationalising the addiction. Then I realised I’m poor and I can’t quit when I want to, and took me hundreds of hookers to realise this consciously.

The excuses will always be different, but addiction is a sneaky thing, and can happen to the smartest people.

Just putting the caution out there.

I recommend sticking to healthy things as much as possible. Avoid hookers, and if you drink do it with people. That way you protect yourself from any risk.

[–]emilcioran123229 points230 points  (3 children) | Copy

If ltr then good man, she was planning on branch swinging.

[–]RedLK734 points35 points  (2 children) | Copy

Fuck yeah. I hate when the dude wants to make sure she kissed or fucked the other guy, it doesnt fucking matter. A girl with satisfied hypergamy wouldn't even think twice about going on a date with some random dude. Disrespect level over 9000.

[–]BlackPillHolocaust 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

It would be enough for her to save his phone number for me to dump her.

[–]thanusall0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That’s some real shit tho. Damn.

[–]drqxx80 points81 points  (4 children) | Copy

I applaud you for your giant brass balls you did the proper thing.

the fact that she was meeting with somebody else who she has a crush on means that she was shopping around for new dick.

[–]WeddingCrasher91 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

I wish i had the balls to do this in my previous marriage

[–]drqxx9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Moving forward you now have the ammo

[–]WeddingCrasher912 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wheres the ammo?

[–]the13thmonk6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

in whatever box that also contains your previously failed marriage that you're still dragging around

learn

[–]pridebrah61 points62 points  (2 children) | Copy

Depends what your boundaries are. Sounds like your gut said she crossed one and you followed through. Good on you sir.

[–]HurricaneHugues14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Depends on what?? His girl went on a date. What more do u want?

[–]pridebrah7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some guys might believe nothing happened or that it isn't worth ending the relationship over and go on about their business. I am not one of those guys.

[–]_the_shape_57 points58 points  (1 child) | Copy

Damn, you didn't even have to tease it out of her? I'd be thanking her for her honesty (but keep this token of appreciation to yourself, of course)

I'd also stay the course if I were you. Keep driving (to the destination) with her currently in the rearview, soon entirely out of sight.

[–]BadDeath[S] 101 points102 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just arrived. Nice end of week to you all

[–]shredzro55 points56 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think this is the first post on asktrp I saw that wasn’t disappointing.

[–]thanusall2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

For real tho.

[–]genethedog39 points40 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nope. She waited until you were underway and figured you wouldn't turn around. And if you didn't you would have endured days of tense bullshit and her saying you're controlling and abusive and insecure because you won't let her have any 'friends'.

You won my friend. She wants you to be asking this question. Now that you have asked, get your replies and be happy. You have a huge sack. High five.

[–]Ronaldo-CR7-128 points129 points  (2 children) | Copy

LOL your the man, that made me chuckle. Good. You did the right thing

[–]jackandjill2218 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thought the exact same thing. Alpha move.

[–]SeamusAwl98 points99 points  (12 children) | Copy

Too harsh?

I don't know. There was a level of disrespect for meeting another man for a coffee date with out thinking about you. If that is a red line for you, your reaction was appropriate. What did or did not happen doesn't matter because that was the red line that was crossed.

[–]lnternetLiftingCoach11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Should one explicitly mention their own boundaries or let the woman figure it out herself based on her common sense? If the former, how would you elaborate it without sounding needy or too protective? Just something along with: “I can not control what you do, but I personally would not tolerate my girlfriend doing X”?

[–]SeamusAwl22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends on the boundary. If you don't want someone eating chips in bed, you should let them know. But an LTR should have enough common sense to not go on a date (or something that can be misconstrued as one) with another male while in a relationship. If she doesn't, then she isn't LTR material and the OPs response was appropriate.

[–]LPFV-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't tell her what the boundaries are!! Once she crosses it let her know through your behaviour, show that there are consequences for her actions!!

Example: she goes on a girls night out, once she comes back her stuff are outside of the door with the door locked!!

[–]xeroblaze034 points35 points  (8 children) | Copy

This is the correct response.

If she crossed a line for you and knew it, it'd be an issue. If you never communicated that line then that's another ballgame.

[–]HurricaneHugues10 points11 points  (7 children) | Copy

So you're supposed to tell your gf not to go on dates with other guys?

Where they do that at? You simps are too much for me man

[–]xeroblaze02 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

So you're supposed to tell your gf not to go on dates with other guys?

That's a given, though some people need it spelled out. My point though was less in this context and more in general.

[–]HurricaneHugues8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

Dude, sit the fuck down. You never tell your gf that. That's like telling your gf that she needs to wipe after taking a shit

[–]xeroblaze02 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

My point was about crossing lines in general, not about outside dating. What's difficult about that?

[–]HurricaneHugues3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

You said "though some people need it spelled out", and so say that's foolish. If u have to spell it out, you already lost.

[–]xeroblaze04 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

If u have to spell it out, you already lost.

OH fuck no, I'm not disagreeing with you there.

[–]HurricaneHugues-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your problem, not mine

[–]xeroblaze04 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never said it was my problem. Are you always this dense?

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev30 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy

Did she? Didn't she? Is she trying to branch swing? Is she not? Who knows? You have to do what's right for you. I'm guessing that you are both young because of (a) your reaction and (b) her not knowing not to put herself in that type of situation.

This is why you don't LTR girls because "she's been around a while" or "she's earned it just because". You only LTR girls who have demonstrated proper behavior over time and know how to "act right".

Really, guys are better off maintainig sexual relationships with multiple women, and therefore not having these problems.

[–]ValorElite4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Really, guys are better off maintainig sexual relationships with multiple women, and therefore not having these problems.

Ideally. I look back at my previous journal entries/reflections from when I was in a LTR, and I was very insecure/emotional. Although there were some bright spots in the LTR, it's way better to invest in yourself and prioritize your goals when you're young

[–]omega_dawg9324 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

females: "the past is the past. it doesn't matter and i don't want it to affect our PRESENT relationship!"

then they proceed to keep in touch with guys from their past... claiming them as "just friends" while knowing that if left alone, she's fucking him within an hour.

[–]Lib-Tears-in-my-cup22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fucking balls on this guy! I fucking love it!!!

You straight up told her bad behavior will not be tolerated and pimp smacked her. I only wish you had caught it on video.

[–]BadDeath[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

No need to video it. Out of sight, out of mind.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

Perfectly reasonable and I'm insanely proud of you. Holy shit, if I have a son, I hope he grows-up to be like you.

[–]BadDeath[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be sure to name him BadDeath lol

[–]ScrdMoneyDntMkeMoney58 points59 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yo don’t get finessed, these small things often either are more or become something more even if it was just coffee. Give em an inch next thing you know they’re fuckin someone else

[–]HurricaneHugues27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Give them and inch and next you know they'll be swallowing 7.

[–]LondonChad199932 points33 points  (4 children) | Copy

You know what, fair play to her honesty. You did the right thing OP.

[–]BadDeath[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea usually I like to encourage such behaviour in exchange for attention from me, but can’t be bothered with such actions again

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

The timing though..let's wait until 5 minutes into a week long vacation to set the tone for the entire week. That was planned

[–]LondonChad19997 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

It almost seems like some sort of power play

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup, to then justify breaking up after getting to do the fun activities vacation, because the guy was in a bad mood the whole time!

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's not acceptable for a girlfriend to do. Be prepared for the backlash though. People are going to say you're insecure etc. but that's just them following their programming. Stand your ground.

[–]Lib-Tears-in-my-cup29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. She was trying to see how you would react and did it early enough in the trip to think the coast was clear and there would be no consequences.

Bitch got what was coming.

[–]dbz0x10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

On to the next. There’s a woman out there who won’t go for coffee with a coworker she had a crush on while still being with you. She might be worth going on the vacation with ;)

[–]RedSkeller12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Way to be the fucking man. She was taking dick interviews and you saw right through that shit. She fucked up and probably won't realize it for 10 years.

[–]nummas11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Trickle truth. She told you about the coffee so she could absolve herself of the guilt she was feeling. Guilt of crossing the line, assuming you have set boundaries, or guilt of her kissing or fucking the guy.

Handled like a boss. Calmly turned around and dropped her off. No drama from your end. By the book response here. Well done. You have earned some fresh new pussy. Go have fun.

I do enjoy reading about a good win on here. It's refreshing.

[–]NeedForOasis25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

Boss.

[–]NeverLace9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

I would not have hard nexted like this

I turned the car around, dropped her of her home while she begged me to continue driving to the destination

But I would have soft nexted. You did the right thing. Downgrade her to plate.

[–]3rdLion1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Example of alternative soft next?

[–]FKaroundNfindOUT5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've never personally found a way to soft next a LTR... they know where I work, live, what I drive and where I hang out.

Not to say I haven't had them come back looking to chill, just always a hard break for a few weeks before that happens.

[–]TopOccasion292 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup it's easier to soft next a plate than an LTR

[–]jakethesnake500039 points40 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well done, you did the right thing

[–]drakehfh9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am proud of you.

[–]Joeboard28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

I recently met an old friend for coffee. We fucked that night. Even if they didnt, she wanted to.

[–]TitsAndWhiskey13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. I've been that "guy friend" too many times to too many women to fall for this shit.

[–]SkankHuntL899 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have female friends that I used to date that I meet up with sometimes...

And given the chance we either fuck or it will lead there.

You did the right thing.

[–]kylerosa218 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

What’s harsh is going behind your boyfriend’s back and trying to branch swing. You did well bro

[–]Lib-Tears-in-my-cup14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Met him for coffee? That bitch went with the intentions to take an ass pounding. If anything, she went to listen to what he had say about the possibility of putting his cock in her.

Bravo, sir! 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Badass if true

[–]bated-breath6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great read OP, well done.

Keep this in mind if you become tempted to get her back: she'll almost certainly do it again if she meets another guy who gives her those tingles she craves and she'll take delight in 'getting you back' for the past. If there's one thing we know about women is that they never forget.

[–]johker17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Finally, a non-faggotity post.

Good work. More young men should have this type of resolve. I’m tired of seeing stupid ass questions being asked on this embarrassing board.

[–]Narcissist4563 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good move. You just prevented yourself from getting cucked.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Alright guys op deserves a bj. I'll get this one, but someone else needs to take the shot next time

[–]BadDeath[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Come to daddy

[–]Musicgoon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good job Bro. Don't play games and don't spend time me listening to bullshit. She was letting her hypergamy steer the ship. You did the right thing.

[–]thegabescat3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

My idol.

[–]Pakz132 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bravo bro

[–]CharlesChadworth2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Job well done. If everyone was like this, men wouldn't have to deal with alot of shit women throw our way. Unfortunately there are still too many cucks in this world.

Once again, I commend you as not many people would have the balls to do this. On to better girls for you I hope my man.

[–]macheagle4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Good on you bro. I wonder why she revealed that to you voluntarily. As a shit test perhaps? Why couldn’t she have just kept her mouth shut?

[–]BadDeath[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She really wanted it to work between us, and felt guilty probably.

[–]huggyblossom1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

But why she spilled it AFTER it happened.

If she is so much into you without doubts, she would have no problem to tell you she wants to check up with the guy as she told you it was an old friend. And she will give you even time boundries and ask you to pick up her after the venue.

The moment she told it when the deed is done is the red flag. She maybe a nice girl, but this behavior is just not good for an LTR, because the right woman would never go with a man 1 on 1 without informing her partner.

[–]RapeYogaEnthusiast1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good stuff. The most freeing word in the world is ‘no’.

[–]KonradCurze1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

For how long was she your LTR?

[–]BadDeath[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Around 8 months

[–]KonradCurze2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

oh, not like years or anything. good riddance

[–]machiavellianlaws1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You handled the situation perfect, with no explanation. This is the level of self respect every human being should set for themselves.

[–]redbananaboard1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Solid move, if she's not banging that dude she'll be doing it soon. Good for you, well played sir.

[–]Hyper_Sonik1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Harsh but perfect. That's how you lay down the law.

[–]vivid_mind1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, respect!

[–]ksilvia121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good on you brother! Lmao wish I could've seen her face.

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's a real proper hard next. The fact that she did so right before the trip too? Great work. Don't give these hoes an inch

[–]SickOfIt5181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

100% ace move!

[–]hrm08941 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women these days are such hoes. Don't get into any LTR or marriage. Pump and dump if you must but nothing more.

[–]throwawaybpdnpd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

/u/prokitez /u/prokites

Check this, best reaction everrrr

[–]masterduelistky1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lord this was savage. I don’t think I’ll ever get to that point. Awesome stuff OP.

[–]civilizedfrog1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The balls on western women to go have a date with their crush behind their partner's back and then not expect any sort of backlash from him.

[–]Rav_the_slav1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

/u/BadDeath keep us updated my dude.

[–]iLLprincipLeS 1 points [recovered]  (17 children) | Copy

Told her she should not expect no further messages from me. Too harsh?

I don't know. Do you think you will want to message her in the future or feel the need to receive a message from her begging for forgiveness?

[–]BadDeath[S] 23 points24 points  (16 children) | Copy

She is still bombarding my phone, but I am a man of my word

[–]WeddingCrasher916 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Post screenshots, let us laugh a bit

[–]johncillo4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is true application of the theory. I have so much to learn.

[–]c4toyourdoornobeef2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

if this is what happened then well done bro.

[–]Popeman794 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

I dunno man, I think it depends if she knew beforehand what were your limits. The fact that she told about this coffee thing shows that maybe she didn't consider it wrong. Girls are clueless, you gotta train them.

[–]TopOccasion294 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anyone with a brain knows that meeting up with the opposite sex alone is a boundary.

OP laid down the boundaries.

[–]hrm08942 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmfao gtfo. Girls aren't clueless. She KNEW exactly what she was doing.

[–]red2hilt4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

In a great, intimate relationship where she respects you, the proper reaction would have been to murder her (don't answer why, she knows why) but not bury her body. Set her house on fire, but first from her own instagram account (you have her phone password, right? I said in a great, intimate relationship) post something to ruin her reputation. Even as a literal otherworldly ghost she does not deserve to hold on to her reputation. Post something like "A coffee isn't cheating right? #sorrynotsorry" and post a picture, from her phone, her instagram account, of about 10 lit candles and two open condoms. One near a curtain. Then from your own account reply with shock and write "WTF????????" Once her ghost starts haunting her DO NOT ENGAGE THE GHOST. Even as you're fucking some other plate and your ex's ghost is standing there next to your bed crying and saying whyyyyyyy, don't even hear her. Bitch knows why.

This is, of course, the playbook for how to handle this if you're in a loving, trusting relationship with good communication.

If she's just a plate, who cares who else she's seeing or fucking. Don't ask, don't tell, don't let it bother you.

Enjoy your trip while she gives you road head.

(For any retards here, this comment is sarcastic.)

[–]FKaroundNfindOUT-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

TIL: I'm a retard.

Thanks for the laugh.

[–]spndxwra0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

u did the right thing. enjoy the holiday mate!!

[–]IV-IVm-I0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

good shit. How would you have responded if she came to you first to try to clear the idea with you?

[–]BadDeath[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I posted my boundaries further up, one of them was: no meetings behind my back. So clear cross of a line either way

[–]IV-IVm-I0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'll check out your other comments. I'm asking what your response would have been if she'd been up front about it: "hey BadDeath, I'm gonna go get coffee w/ Soandso."

[–]BadDeath[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No

[–]Nov516050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

not harsh for LTR - you did it right - just stop with the oneitis, go for a rotation (plates) instead. If she comes back
& you still want to smash her, demote her to plate status

[–]onlinehumzu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good fucking shit.

[–]MrBigBolls0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nice

[–]humzy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

respect!

[–]DirtyBastard130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[–]mrdeeds19720 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Huzzah, brother!

[–]LPFV0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

YEEES!! Someone give this gentleman a nice cold beer!! He deserves it!!

[–]throwawayycheyeah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hands down something happened and she felt guilty. I had an ex do the same shit told me one of her guy friends (we were in highschool) leaned in and kissed her one day at school and that she told him no and nothing else happened (even though she was overly obsessed with this loser teen dad). She told me this 5 minutes before we arrived at her father's house for Christmas dinner. I was such a beta fuck I believed her and just went on with the evening. I dumped her like a month later cause she was being a cunt but I will always regret not pulling over and tell her to walk the rest of the way Haha.

You did the right thing, if she didn't cheat on you then she was definitely testing your boundaries to work up to it.

Good on you!

[–]AtlasCuckd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is hardcore pr0n

[–]Fonzoon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yeah good move, that’s bs. she should’ve asked you first. the fact that she did this without telling you shows that she figured you’d say No, but did it anyway. it’s the fact that she didn’t trust you to trust her that gives it away. and then she confesses because it looks guilty af if she gets caught.

[–]vullnet1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wish I did this with my ex. Good job dude.

[–]livefreeofdie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ma man

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Now they're definitely fucking Haha

[–]BadDeath[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not mo bitch, not mo problem

[–]the13thmonk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You killed this interaction. Nice job, mad respect, fantastic emotional control.

[–]ohRyZze0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Omg this is the best thing you could do. I wish I had the balls to do it a few months back, it would have saved me from a lot of pain

[–]PlantainNationalism0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You really showed her, dude. If a w*man mentions another male, they need to be reminded of their inferiority. One time my gf said that an athlete was buff. I told her to leave my house before I gave her the back of my hand. Don't let that hor disrespect you, man. You're not an easily provoked faggot or anything.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You did the right thing.

[–]strongfarts0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are the man! Prime example of manhood! /Salute

[–]eeeeeee80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No way. Don’t second guess yourself, you did the right thing. If you never talk to her again, which may be hard, she will regret it forever.

[–]Thotasaurus_Rex0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I guess it's perspective. My LTR meets up with male friends often.

I don't get jealous and I "trust" her. More accurately I already know they're not good enough for her, and if she did cheat on me it would be fairly obvious.

[–]Cloak_and_Rose0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's the way to do it man, my ex was planning to do something similar, which I found out after breaking up so I cut contact completely

[–]JocBro30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Very well done... couldn’t have done it better. Would not contact no matter what

[–]flapjacksrbetter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What happened?

[–]downvotesanimals2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why does this site feel more and more like it's full of trolls?

[–]rugged790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eh.

Just think if you did the same thing she did what would she do? The answer? Pretty much the same thing you did but with more bitching and emotional judo.

Staying in frame is actually being more kind to her because the cut was clean. Not some guy yelling at her or blubbering and crying like a bitch. Option 1 gets her back to you as a plate. Option 2? You couldn't get her back even if you cut off your left leg.

[–]effyouasshole-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

Personally, I would have silently demoted her to plate or FWB status. There's no need to get upset about anything, so I wouldn't have to cancel the vacation. I'd still be able to have a good time. She'd be paying her own way if she wasn't already, though.

Then I'd game other women. Maybe weeks later when she asks why I'm spending less time with her, I'd inform her of her demotion.

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd inform her of her demotion.

Pointless to inform her of her demotion. I'll just demote to plate and keep using her, while i've already emotionally checked out and her hamster goes into overdrive.

[–]boom_bostic-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think you were a little hard on her. But it’s hard to know the dynamics of y’alls relationship.

But what I can tell you—

I also can almost guarantee that more happened than what she let on. Women do this, man. They tell you something that could be interpreted as somewhat innocent but they know that it was wrong. Like they may tell you that they danced with a guy for 2 minutes but immediately left because she felt uncomfortable and because she loves you. She tells you this for 2 reasons. #1: to build your trust. You think, oh she told me when she was in a bad situation & she did the right thing. I can be comfortable & trust her. The other reason #2: she wants to take questions of her fidelity off your radar. You think that she told you about this small incident so I now know she’ll let me know when something more significant happens.

[–]boom_bostic0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

All in all, it’s probably a good move dropping her from your plans but...you don’t want for it to get in the way of your plans. Like I’m sure you had plans to stay up railing her all night long on this trip. I hate to see you lose out on that.

[–]BadDeath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Atleast I can fresh up my game in a city wgere nobody knows me

[–]flapjacksrbetter-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Idk man. Shouldnt u have let her know this behavior is not acceptable? U gotta train your dog. Now your just switching untrained dogs left and right



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