Day 0 of Swallowing the pill after my wife mocked me - Is my marriage salvageable?

SteelSharpensSteel · 2019-02-21T11:51:33+00:00

I’m very tempted to lock this, given the OPs post and trolling history.

OP, you haven’t done shit. Trolling for imaginary internet points that don’t matter?!?

I will tell you this. If you don’t post by end of day in the OYS threads, I’m locking this and banning you permanently from MRP. Prove to us (and yourself) that you actually want to change. Or continue to be a bitch. Your choice.

Edit: OP did post in OYS, so I'm keeping this unlocked.

0io- · 2019-02-21T04:48:38+00:00

The short answer is probably, yes. But nobody knows for sure until you fix yourself.

Don't worry too much about sex or the marriage right now. Your priority is to get in the gym and lift and go on a cutting diet for the next 6 months or a year until you're under 15% body fat. Both lifting and diet are super-important, but diet is more important since you're fat. Keto / Low Carb diets work well for a lot of men. You should probably start immediately. If you lose a pound a week you'd be back at 185 in 30 weeks, which is enough time to get to a much better place than you are now.

I would take her up on the "do what you need to do" sex whenever it is offered at this stage (right now). Be a little faster and rougher than you usually are and make sure you get yourself off from it. (Caveman style)

As for personality, mental game, etc... the right answer about 90% of the time is going to be STFU. Just try not to get drawn in to any pointless arguments, don't raise your voice, don't explain things, etc.

By the end of the Summer you should be in much better physical shape than you are now, and well on your way towards your goals. You'll probably be getting more sex by then (who knows) maybe the wife will start treating you better and start losing weight too. Maybe not.

By the end of 2019, if you're dedicated and religious about your diet and lifting weights, you should be in pretty good shape, to where you could date or fuck other women if your wife left you. Which is about the point that she should should suddenly be a lot more interested in you.

I can't tell the future, but if you really did the above like your life depended on it, I don't see any reason why your wife wouldn't be all over you. You would certainly be objectively "hotter" than a 250 pound obese middle-aged lady, to the point where everyone would see you two in public and think that you could do a lot better. My guess is that there will be a lag, and by the end of the Summer she'll notice "holy fuck, what's going on with my husband" and probably start trying to get her act together too. But that's just a guess. And if she never, ever comes around, and you have to start all over again, you'll be in a much better position to start all over again than you are now.

TLDR; Yes, it's doable, but you have to put in a ton of work on yourself to make it happen.

helaughsinhidden · 2019-02-21T05:01:43+00:00

I've seen better men lose better marriages and worse men turn around crappier ones.

You have advantages. You are humble in realizing you are the reason.

You recognize your actions that need to change and hate them.

You took her off the pedestal, putting yourself and kids first. It is actually a very attractive way go be.

You want to change and be a better version of yourself, to actually grow, not stay the same and recite a magic spell.

Take your anger out on the weights and treadmill.

Post in OYS.

Maybe get a unique ID that is free of the cringe posts too.

Welcome to the rest of your life

FereallyRed · 2019-02-21T04:20:36+00:00

Is my marriage salvageable?

Change your mindset.

Marriage doesn't matter.

You fix yourself here.

The stay plan is the go plan.

If you're the problem, then if you don't unfuck yourself then you will continue to be the problem and poison the relationship and any future relationship, because you are the problem.

If you're not the problem (you are), then you will know to get the fuck out after you have unfucked yourself, and you won't continue to poison future relationships.

So, you can't fix the marriage, you can't fix your wife, you can't fix future relationships.

Only thing you can change is yourself.

So unfuck yourself. EVERYTHING else is just clutter.

rocknrollchuck · 2019-02-21T04:45:59+00:00

When sex does happen, its for my pleasure and benefit and mainly to shut me up. "Do what you need to do" is what she says on nights she is willing to close to her eyes and wait for things to be over.

Every Unhappy Wife is a Rape Victim.

BobbyPeru · 2019-02-21T03:48:01+00:00

Garbage post.

Read the sidebar, lift, and STFU - report back on the OYS thread weekly.

[deleted] · 2019-02-21T10:51:04+00:00

Why would you want to salvage a relationship with a land whale

[deleted] · 2019-02-21T17:39:07+00:00

You yelled at your kids because you had a bad day? Shit you have a lot of work to do. I would worry less if your marriage is salvageable and focus more on this; Are you salvageable.

I'm assuming you haven't read any of the books because almost every paragraph if yours has you doing something AGAINST the theories and pillars of RP.

Even if you read the sidebar twice and started to internalize it... it will be months before you start to see some change in your wife.... so expect the next few months to not change (in terms of your wifes relationship)

IF you really care, start reading all the books... internalize it... think on it... and start to improve every damn day.

I also assume you watch too much porn considering your crazy fantasy... you might want to quit that too

Your wife doesnt want to 'watch TV with you' - Good, its a waste of time

MrChad_Thundercock · 2019-02-21T04:12:40+00:00

Mommy yelled at you? Tell MCT how bad it hurts...

“I am looking for brutally honest replies”

1) You’re a loser piece of shit

2) You’re a fat piece of shit.

3) Despite what you think, your SMV is way lower than hers- because of your weak beta behaviors. Very unattractive.

4) Your wife will act as shitty as you allow. Only doing what she is programmed to do.

5) She’s just mirroring you: being a lazy lost fat piece of shit with no vision or goals.

6) She only likes the resources you provide her (your $) Do you really think she wants your little 2” penis near her? Can you even see it when you look down?

7) You want to fuck your SIL? Faggot. Creep.

You sound like the fat tub of shit in Shawshank Redemption crying out for his mommy on the first night in jail. You need a beat down.

Listen to u/BobbyPeru

The first step is to unfuck YOURSELF. You have a lot of work to do.

QSDT · 2019-02-21T04:07:27+00:00

All men are salvageable if they want it enough, not all marriages are, so work on you and see what happens, Go Plan is the same as Stay Plan.

simbarlion · 2019-02-21T04:50:45+00:00

Good one for knowing a lot of what you have to do. But above all, get it clear in your head, this is about you and it takes time. Lots of time. All the stfu and lifting, yep, do it. Read it all. Read Steels post and all the links a hundred times.

Have a think about what it is you actually want to become as a man, what YOUR goal? It should be amongst other things to get to the point where you know your ok if you split up. Looks and frame in check so you can pick up. Finances in order. Healthy. Strong relationships with the kids - so no matter where they are, they would rather be with you. Work out what that person looks like in your mind. Its going to take you a while to get there so strap in.

But my interest here is that you clearly have a few things to address in your mindset, so forget the nitty gritty daily marriage (battlezone) issues for a bit. You need to get the mental peace in your head, as in, past the anger, past the revenge, all that shit. Right now you sound like a train wreck of needy hoplessness. To get this peace, you need to mentally check out from the relationship. Form a view in your mind it is over, and starting acting that way. This mind shift should be undetectable. Be less needy, less available, give less fucks. And not because thats what will get her back into you, do it because thats the Red Pill way - it doesn't stop you being nice, fun etc.

Give it a week for the dust to settle, then start being your own point of reference, point of origin, less influenced by her whims. And get your shit together. its embarassing to our gender.

Pher63 · 2019-02-21T05:42:48+00:00

I hope you are sincere OP. Your post history suggests otherwise

justpickanyusername · 2019-02-21T13:44:33+00:00

Shouldn’t you be on Day 1 instead of Day 0? You haven’t left the starting blocks yet.

Acerp321 · 2019-02-21T16:10:44+00:00

Cut the “I want” bullshit. That’s loser talk if I ever heard it. If you know what you “want,” decide what actions will get it. Take fucking action. Commit.

Ever heard people tell you about their diet to lose weight? They are always trying. Trying. Notice the difference between someone who loses it and keeps it off. They werent trying. They were doing.

Reach180 · 2019-02-21T16:52:29+00:00

She is 41 and weighs closer to 250lbs

Are you really attracted to that, or do you just crave the validation of getting someone to agree to fuck you.

[deleted] · 2019-02-22T00:52:16+00:00

If I had a wife that said “do what you need to do”, first of all I wouldn’t be fucking her, I’d save my mojo for a women that wants it.

I’d be flirting with other women, making sure I’m on top of my game in al areas of life, and generally keeping my options open.

If she changes her tune, because I have other options which is attractive to women, maybe I wouldn’t jump ship... or if a better option presented itself maybe I would

RedPillCoach · 2019-02-22T02:18:18+00:00

She is checked out from me.

I bet you two are so checked IN that you finish each others sentences.

In many cases, certainly yours, the solution is to differentiate yourself, build a life without her, and then later offer her a chance to join you.

my wife mocked me

No woman can ever harm you except that you give her the power to do so (paraphrasing Marcus Aurelius).

SiegreicherMarsch · 2019-02-21T04:35:58+00:00

There's no real question here, I think you just tacked something on the end of your puke that you already know the answer to (you don't sound stupid, just pathetic). Hopefully you feel better now. Get to work and promise yourself to never make a post like this again.

vivid_mind · 2019-02-21T07:54:16+00:00

You said drunk captain. Do you drink? Maybe it's time to quit? Drinking is fun and games in man's 20s, but past 30 it is a fools juice.

screechhater · 2019-02-21T11:14:12+00:00

What’s so sad about your post and many others like it, is that you apparently lack a barometer of what a real marraige should resemble.

Better yet, what a happy, fulfilled masculine make brings to the table in a marraige or relationship.

Quit your bitching, you are not a victim in all of this.

Sidebar. Diet. Lift.

Dump the land whale when she refuses to come along.

There are women/spouses out there that will suck your cock. But then again, if you’re fit, attractive and manscape.... totally up to you

RicoDunne · 2019-02-21T14:11:53+00:00

250 lbs and her looks are starting to wane.... dude those looks vanished 130 lbs ago.

[deleted] · 2019-02-21T15:52:30+00:00

Is my marriage salvageable?

Here's a better question. If you knew for a fact that your marriage would end 6 months from today, what would you do? Be honest with yourself about what you want, but more importantly be realistic. Don't tell me that you'd bang 100 Instagram models when your fat wife won't even fuck you.

The answer to that question above is your map. What's realistic right now (i.e masturbating to your SIL using your own tears as lubricant) is your starting point, and what you want for yourself 6 months from now is your first objective. There are a ton of resources available to you to help along the way. Read everything on the MRP sidebar and post in OYS. Pick a few flaired members and read their backstories (this was huge for me) so you can see where they started. Acknowledge that you are the one that fucked up your marriage, but do so without putting your wife on a pedestal.

Get to the gym now. Newbie gains are amazing, and if you pick a program and actually stick to it you'll be amazed where you are in 6 months. Stronglifts 5x5 is a good starting place. Find other reasons to get out of the house too. Don't hover around your wife or berate your kids because your life sucks.

Most importantly, shut the fuck up about all of this. I'll say it again because this is where I really think you're going to struggle... SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING TO IMPROVE YOURSELF! You aren't doing this to get your wife's approval, or to be a better role model for the kids, or for validation for strangers. You're doing this because you're a fat piece of shit right now and you want to be a less shitty version of that in 6 months. If you make it that far, you'll have an idea what you need to do to make some real progress. I don't think you will... prove me wrong.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2019-02-21T16:51:38+00:00

Can you even lift 250 pounds?

Frosteecat · 2019-02-21T20:22:02+00:00

I’m not going to go the morbid curiosity route and peep your history but I get that you are a POS beta assclown. Yesterday. Today is a new day. Don’t waste it.

UnbreakableFrame · 2019-02-21T04:13:19+00:00

You need to read the sidebar. I started with 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' first, so that's what I would recommend. You need to get a gym membership and become attractive again.

mrp_awakening · 2019-02-21T11:09:52+00:00

You're on day 0. You need to learn to STFU and trust the process. If you can't even STFU to a group of internet strangers, how do you expect to STFU and hold frame with your wife? Do OYS, and report changes when they happen (few weeks minimum) or ask questions when you've been doing it long enough to have actually elicited results.

rockstarbottom · 2019-02-21T11:57:53+00:00

Jesus Christ, less talk, more lift, and get some sidebar, motherfucker.

Captain_pants4 · 2019-02-21T12:32:41+00:00

Can you get your fat wife to respect you again? Of course, she has no other option.

Get into the gym and work off some of that anger. While you’re contemplating this and trying to justify not doing it, you need to STFU. Shutting your fat mouth will be harder than you think but will do you a lot of good

becoming_alpha · 2019-02-21T18:48:14+00:00

Direct answer to your question, nobody knows if your marriage is salvageable. She's still putting up with you which is a good sign. The more important question is whether you are salvageable. She's a reflection of you, and it's not pretty. But even you are salvageable.

All the tools are here for you to become the best version of yourself, and guess what, the best version of yourself is attractive to women, maybe even to your wife. Start with NMMNG and WISNIFG, dial in your diet and lift heavy things to exhaustion 3 times a week. You'll need some cardio too for that extra 40 pounds you're carrying. The physical side will be hard and take discipline, but it'll help you develop the mental fortitude for the more difficult task: unfucking your thinking.

You got your victim puke out, now get to work. We can be your sounding board as you progress if we see you're putting in the effort, but we don't like leaches. Steel told you to get your OYS posted today, better get on that ASAP.

Taipanshimshon · 2019-02-21T21:02:49+00:00

Just from the title-

Why should you want to salvage your marriage ? That’s not the point

Dialerstring · 2019-02-21T23:08:04+00:00

Bro dedicate a few days going to the gym and set obtainable short term goals. OYS at home and clean out that dirty ass car. Your confidences is in shambles so maybe try joining a boxing club, cross-fit, kickboxing gym just do something that will challenge you. Here's an idea "Get fucking busy this Saturday". Fix something around the house, hit the gym, get a hair cut, sign up for a trial boxing class and then find a spot to read NMMNG..

Glad to hear you are starting on NMMNG, so with that being stated, kill any expectation you have in your wife to include sex, validation AND stop settling for bad sex; which you CLEARLY don't have a choice in right now. You need to pick up MAP and understand the stages of DREAD. Lift and STFU and repeat.

gameoflibidos · 2019-02-22T20:18:42+00:00

MRP doesn't fix the marriage, it fixes the man.

Sometimes as a side effect, it saves/improves the marriage,... sometimes as a side effect it ends it.

My advice if you want to stay in the marriage is to go slow, make slow changes over time and expect that it will take 6 months to a year to see any noticeable changes with your wife. You'll notice other people reacting to you much sooner, but with wives of years that have lost confidence in us being any kind of useful and strong man, it will take time.

You must follow the steps and read and re-read all the material in the sidebar. Top priority is to get a gym membership and start lifting heavy things asap.

tannerjoseph28 · 2019-03-12T02:02:56+00:00

Hey man, I know this is really late but if it were me, I had treat her slightly similar to how she treats you. Not in the way where she ignores you, but make her realize that she could lose you. She could lose the 150K salary, the house she couldn’t pay for on her own, her entire family. At a certain point in life, I have come to realize that it is not at all who you are as a person, but what you can provide. Make sure you bring a much as possible to the table (be healthier, more fit), and make her afraid you may in fact leave. Never hint towards it or say it out loud, but if you get your shit together, get in shape, you seem to have all of the good commodities the average women searches for in a lifetime partner, it will get to a point where in the back of her mind she will realize she doesnt deserve you and she will change.

SoloQueueXL · 2019-02-21T04:09:01+00:00

Start with telling your wife no. Take charge of everything going on. YOU are the breadwinner. You pay the bills she stays at home and cashes in. As long as you pay everything she has no control over it.

She thinks she does then dip bro, change banks let her pay those bills. Your money your rules homie.

My wife is 8 years older than me. Everytime she does some shit I don't like I tell her upfornt. Or if she tries to get me to use my money on stupid shit I tell her no. She whines a little but understands her place.

It all starts with the first no and just keep going. Even if she divorces you, you'll be more free than you are now. BE SELFISH

YOU WANT MORE SEX? DEMAND IT, CUT THE ALCOHOL AND HIT THE GYM FAGGOT

Title	Day 0 of Swallowing the pill after my wife mocked me - Is my marriage salvageable?
Author	throwaway-iwantmysil
Upvotes	18
Comments	74
Date	21 February 2019 03:40 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/219333
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/asy8nc/day_0_of_swallowing_the_pill_after_my_wife_mocked/

Day 0 of Swallowing the pill after my wife mocked me - Is my marriage salvageable?

Always remain calm. Nothing is worth your anger. (Divorce story)

Communication Doesn't Work....or Maybe...

Badly need HELP: How do I keep him interested and convert from non-serious to serious?

Look at r/loveafterporn. SO's porn use for women is like SO's n count for men. Women there rationalize their porn hate. No need to stats to justify subjective emotions. Idea of sexual exclusivity justifies hate of porn watch or n count (explained)

FR: 1 Cor 7 Revisited