I finally dropped a girl that I liked and it feels so fucking good.

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February 21, 2019
245 upvotes

I met this girl through a mutual friend, we ended up dating and I caught oneitis for her. Luckily we’re only talking about a month here. We began chatting and I would always keep conversations to a minimum and instead arrange to meet. She flaked on me five times and I’m the fucking idiot for putting up with it. Yesterday she messaged me “let’s meet tomorrow” and fast forward to today, she’s flaked once again. Her excuse, “I had to do something but we’ll meet another day”. I replied “No we won’t, I don’t like having my day wasted” and she responded with “It happens.” I then blocked her off everything.

I always thought I had swallowed the red pill but it’s amazing how quickly you can fall back into your old self-sabotaging ways. This exact type of situation is what lead me to TRP but luckily it’s not even as remotely lengthy as the first one. Thought I’d just share this and now I’m headed to the gym.


Post Information
Title I finally dropped a girl that I liked and it feels so fucking good.
Author xNightly
Upvotes 245
Comments 87
Date 21 February 2019 06:58 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/219399
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/at6xdp/i_finally_dropped_a_girl_that_i_liked_and_it/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
flakethe red pill
Comments

[–]modHalitenina[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (5 children) | Copy

This is not a request for personal advice OR clarification. OP has received a 90 day ban.

I'll be the bad guy here again and again. There is only one rule that we ask you to follow.

[–]Achilles_Of_Reddit206 points207 points  (15 children) | Copy

“It happens.” What a bitchy thing to say. Good on you for dropping her. “It happens” isn’t something you say to someone whose time you respect.

[–]xNightly102 points103 points  (11 children) | Copy

Not even a simple sorry, seriously when I read that I just started laughing and thought yeah you can fuck right off.

[–]TheStumblingWolf31 points32 points  (5 children) | Copy

It's moments like these us former betas (or less betas than before at least) need to realize were not selfish for putting ourselves and our time first.

[–]alphabachelor15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

She knew you finally caught on and gave zero fucks as she was busted.

Good on you no longer being Charlie Brown to her Lucy.

[–]Imtoosexyformypants6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Did the right thing. Nowadays I catch oneitus and attraction off respect and how fun the person is.

Don’t get caught up on just looks, good job

[–]Slut_Slayer90004 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here is how you level up in game: Instead of replying "no it won't" just don't reply and ghost her.

Pros: Has the exact same effect and end result without sounding butthurt (losing frame) , and it will force her to enter you frame if you ever talk again.

[–]FKaroundNfindOUT4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly... always amazed me how many girls had a grandparent die back in the day.

[–]MrFiles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree 1000

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten84 points85 points  (10 children) | Copy

Good step forward. Now progress to no more than one reschedule, and automatic next if they cancel less than 2 or 3 hours before

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper86 points87 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is good. However, I prefer to roll based on examination of how they cancel:

"Hey, can't make it tonight."

vs

"OMG I am ssooooo sorry I got rescheduled at work and can't find anyone to cover my shift! Can we do Friday instead?"

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

Agree with the corollary. I get caught up in prescribing hard and fast to the noobs sometimes, and usually assume they're not abundant enough to make the distinction anyway.

Would rather they next a viable prospect than spin in circles, but suppose perfect enemy of good blah blah

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

You definitely have a point there.

But I tend not to go that route because novices have a tendency to 'sperg out if you give them too many hard and fast rules. The problem isn't "nexting a good opportunity" because opportunities are like water in a river... more will be by shortly. No, the problem is that some of them start to develop a mental flowchart that they treat as a set of instructions to follow, instead of a scaffold to build their nuanced and calibrated game and judgement skills around.

So I try to interlace the rules of thumb with examples of how I might make a judgement call.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Another thing I factor in before hard-nexting is the degree of effort/waste involved.

Aka, if what I’ve invested is just a few minutes texting and I have other stuff to do when a date is canceled last minute (such as seeing another girl), I don’t mind letting the disrespect roll off my back this time. If I’ve invested emotionally and because of this I’ve cancelled things I really wanted to do for a date that is now off, then it’s a major waste of resources for me, which I won’t risk seeing happen again.

[–]xNightly7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

Appreciate it. Not taking shit from people is a skill I’m still working on but have definitely progressed with over the years.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You'll get to a point where you won't even need to post stuff like this cuz it'll happen so often for you.

[–]Hyper_Sonik-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

In other words, you're in the anger phase. Many times when guys are in this phase they are still reactive which is where I see you.

[–]xNightly5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've long pasted the anger phase and reactive is literally the complete opposite of what people describe me as. Not taking shit doesn't make you "angry", it just shows you have self-respect.

[–]Moldy_Gecko-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. This definitely didn't come across as an anger phase post.

[–]1Shyrk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Personally, I give two reschedules, but I’m a bit older than many on here. Schedules are legitimately busy on both sides, and having other shit lined up in the meantime makes it essentially negligible. One chick or another, it’s worth the modicum of effort it takes for one of them to end up on my cock.

Totally agree with the canceling a few hours before or in the case of straight-up flaking, though. If they ghost, a second chance is meaningless.

[–]PIGamer8653 points54 points  (1 child) | Copy

If a dude did this to you, you should ghost him as well.

[–]finally_a_free_man18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup. People here get too caught up in the women hating but a lot of these principles apply to people in general. We're two sides of the same coin.

[–]Lib-Tears-in-my-cup96 points97 points  (3 children) | Copy

You were clearly another dude’s backup cock.

C’mon bro-five times? Next time, make it two if she’s lucky.

[–]xNightly69 points70 points  (2 children) | Copy

That’s the scarcity mentality right there. I definitely need to work on my abundance.

[–]Evan32125 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're on the right path bro

[–]ggggggggee1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't feel bad about it man. I still have scarcity mentality. In the same boat.

[–]AwakenedSovereign20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

Congrats, feels good don't it? Call that feeling Self Respect from now on.

Next episode: abundance.

[–]xNightly6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed, thank you.

[–]3chazthundergut40 points41 points  (6 children) | Copy

At first I was like "yea dude!"

Then I read your post. She flaked on you SIX TIMES IN A ROW.

Sorry dude. You didn't drop her. She dropped you.

Next time pull back WAY sooner than that. And don't block her on everything that is too much butthurt; next time I recommend a soft next on flakes. Which means you wait for her to reach out to you. Many women will boomerang back around if you behave like a non-needy guy with options

You are still learning and growing. Keep at it

[–]SuperCrazy0712 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

This was my thought. You can’t drop someone who won’t even meet with you.

[–]Velebit7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

How do you get oneitis with a girl you havent even confirmed exists?

Someone needs to work on some loneliness issues.

[–]Moldy_Gecko3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

He's met her before. My guess is he's batting out of his league with her. If you think a girl is on another level from you, I suppose you could develop oneitis without actually doing anything with her.

[–]SuperCrazy072 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, he says they met through a mutual friend. So, I’m guessing they did coffee once or something and she blew him off from there.

[–]Moldy_Gecko2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds about right?

[–]Velebit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You sure he even met her?

Man half the instagram fitness chicks I follow got boyfriends who are clearly 'below' them in looks and status.

This guys problem is he is failing stuff and got bonded to a girl he did not even bond with.

[–]TheRedTriad12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

What a bitch haha, please for all men, dont even consider giving her another go.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire27 points8 points  (13 children) | Copy

It's good that you dropped her, but far better NOT to expressly verbalize it in that manner.

What is better than dropping someone like that is simply to not respond to any communications from them, and move on in your mind. This is hard to do because the behavior is passive aggressive, ambiguous, and thus sets the male hamster running.

By telling her directly that you guys are done, you make your position clear to her. Also, if you act butt-hurt, then she gets the satisfaction of knowing she got to you, which she can then share with her friends, and subtly poison your reputation.

It's better to disengage at the first, slightest hint of lack of interest. Not enthusiastically into you? Don't waste your time. Seemed a bit hesitant? Don't waste your time. Acting into you at first, then turned cold. Don't waste your time. If they like you, they will over-communicate and chase after you.

In this situation, you should have just demoted her back to potential prop for social proof at the first sign of lack of interest. Now you can't even use her for that. Maybe she's not even worth that much, but it's not alienate people if you can avoid it.

[–]xNightly2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

How would you go about girls who constantly reach out to you? I've actually ghosted this one many times and she always reaches out to me first and I always respond with a few words. Maybe it's an attempt for her to get me into her orbit. Either way, I'm nexting this one.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire22 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hmmm... it sounds like some sort of mind-games are going on. I mean, women are players too. She could be pinging a whole bunch of guys then giving her attention to the highest value one that responds. So, she pings you and five other guys, but a guy she perceives as better than you is DTF, so you get put on the back burner just in case she needs you later.

[–]Moldy_Gecko1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is probably right, haha. I do the same shit.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat-2 points-1 points  (8 children) | Copy

This. A better answer to her “we’ll meet another day” would have been “Sure” and then let it at that.

[–]FanaticMind2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Sure isn't a good one, in her mind it would be as if he is okay with her behavior, Making him seem like a loser.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sure

[–]Moldy_Gecko1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

K

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Zoinks, you gots me EC boiii.

[–]Moldy_Gecko-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

I prefer K

[–]AnyDoughnut1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think using k is fine for some responses, but for shit like this I think the best response is no response.

[–]Moldy_Gecko2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

K

[–]Fapzillla0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Here's your damn up-vote you piece of shit, well played.

[–]_Zalos_13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's liberating man.👍

[–]Popeman795 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok now next time you see her don't act all butthurt. Be cool and awesome, and also hardly notice her. It's how it should be naturally but if you're not there yet, fake it.

[–]rugged794 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whenever you feel like breaking frame, remember this encounter and how shitty she was. Then remember the moment you stood your ground.

[–]Hyper_Sonik2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't think you've done anything but pretend. You were dating right? Ive learned that "dating" is a word females use. It's good that you FINALY cut.her off....but please step back and ask yourself why she was behaving that way. Also, you didn't give much details as to how you two were "dating" and how you caught "oneitis". Don't assume you dId something to improve your standing with her.... All to often I see stories where the guy doesnt get the hint and then lashes out with some type of cut off. Guys on here seem to think it's "red pilled" to "next" or "ghost" her when she was never really into it from the start.

[–]Fapzillla-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why isn't this higher up?

[–]Glowv23 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

generally, if a girl doesn't reschedule when she flakes on you. she ain't that into going out with you. rather just find better prospects buddy. Saves you alot of time and trouble in the end, despite it being hard choice to make for you.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would swear that women live on water, food and men’s attention. It really is like something they need to stay alive. They learn early how to get it and some girls turn it into an art form. They farm men’s attention through applying detailed bait, catch and release strategies such as the one OP fell for: a push-pull to pump up OP’s oneitis. This way, they line up beta orbiters who patiently wait for their turn to get off the bench and go to bat. This way they increase their facebook likes and insta followers to feed their ego with.

OP you were not an idiot. You just fell for a crafty male-attention farmer. You figured it out without having invested significant time and resource in it so you’re good in my book.

[–]Chadster1132 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Self respect is a virture.

[–]BrodinsOats2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

A natural once told me he had a “two-strike policy” on flaking. If they flake two times in a row, they’re done.

I think it’s a good practice. I once informed a date of the policy when she tried to flake for the second time in a row, and she reversed course very quickly.

[–]rubydachurro6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good for you man. Although some would say blocking and deleting her off everything makes you look salty but to each its own. She was definitely a waste of time and energy.

[–]xNightly5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah but it shouldn’t be an issue since I’ll never see her again and she isn’t in my social circle

[–]PolesWithGoals1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good moves bro

[–]mgtownigga1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

you did the right thing. In the future, next her ass earlier

[–]mysticplaces1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry you had to deal with this cunt. Best of luck with future situations. Glad to hear you’re on the right path.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's too many people in this world to waste five chances on. Cut that down to two.

[–]MOSFETBJT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Always double book with new girls

[–]MagnumBurrito1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now she probably wants your dick too.

Wait until you're at the same event, give her room to make a move on you, play a little hard to get, and then get some.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would’ve had found it way too hard not to have said somethin back lmao

[–]jbpostv0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Follow the moisture and environment of your dick as reference for what to do. That's it. This is about getting laid we're animals there's nothing to be shy about with it.

[–]Wrath_of_Trump0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The right move would have been to not respond and dead air.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She sounds like a fucking bitch. I hate girls who flake multiple times while showing some interest in rescheduling. The ones who don’t reschedule i find easy to drop, but the ones who show me some interest in rescheduling sometimes trick me into believing they are interested in me when they are not. Fuck them.

[–]OverthereStare0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good for you OP. Obviously she led you on WAYYYY too long but better than never when it comes to putting your foot down.

I mean, a friend of mine literally had a GF of his not talk to him for an ENTIRE MONTH (riding the Chad carousel) and he STILL took her back when she finally messaged him again only for her to dump him a few weeks later.

The power to say no will put you above 80% of guys. Just make sure to lower the flakiness in the future. I say two flakes maximum, although I drop after the first flake no matter what

[–]CosmicZephyr20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bravo sir 👏👏👏

[–]Xerexes38690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Having oneitis isn't a problem. Not curbing your impulses arising out of oneitis is definitely a problem. Never deviate from the play book. 5 times is too many bro. Next time make it 2. Then remember since she cancelled twice you need to spurn her effort to date you at least once in the future. Tell her you are busy or something if she asks you out and will hit her up in a few days, then don't. Reschedule a week later.
It's important for her to feel that you aren't just sitting by the phone to take her up on the offer whenever she presents it to you.

[–]throwitdownman-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

The next time you see her: ‘Oh hey it’s you! Are you mad at me, what can I do to make up for it. Oh my gosh you’re so funny!’

It’ll be easy mode from here, it’s amazing how nexting someone makes them chase you.

[–]Chadster1132 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think he should call her by the wrong name the next time he sees her

[–]Hyper_Sonik-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

....Stfu.

[–]Kpwn88-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

While I commend you, you are still very beta and have a long way to go. Keep up hard work

[–]Moldy_Gecko-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post, but what's your question? /trp is <-- that way.



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