Should this be in asktrp or theredpill? I figured here is better since I'm only an intermediate.

This is a long post with lots of details. Some lessons for beginners, and I'm also looking for feedback from advanced guys. I've hit a plateau in my game and I think sharing field reports will help me get passed it.

I've been going monk mode for a while, working on fixing issues with my legs. I've been prioritizing staying home and exercising over going out to things. I've lost a bunch of weight and started getting in shape(starting to do pull ups and un-aided sit ups, doing more push ups) so it's been worth it. Nonetheless, it's about time I start getting out there more than once a week in social game. And I need to stop making excuses for not pulling from social game, because it gives me pre selection out the wazoo and I'm consistently (at least half the time) getting to the social hook point with the hottest girls in the venue, and I'm not taking advantage of this.

My issue is this: I don't know how to sexualize the interaction when everyone there knows me, and I have a slight reputation for trying to pick up girls.

Here's an example from last night:

I came to a small party (30-40 people) at about 11:30. I slowly made my way through, saying hello to people. I spent some time in the jam room (it's a jam party, decent musicians playing together for fun). I smoked a bit a weed before entering to get myself in my body, but It's a slow process getting into the party vibe without alcohol (these days all alcohol does is make me tired or black out, there's no sweet spot). I vibe with the jammers for a bit, stretch and start to hum along to the music, then start kind of singing and rapping to get into the zone a bit.

I continue through the party, saying hello to people; many friends, some guys who hold grudges, but that's usually manageable. A girl I know, solid 8, says hello and asks me to sit with her, but she's not single and I have a mission to get water (fyi girls love it when you're doing something that's important enough to ignore their demands, you don't need a good reason, you just need to be willing to not enter her frame.) I engaged her in a friendly way, but I continued doing what I planned to do. Hot girls are used to guys doing what they ask, so you dhv when you say no to her without negativity. Because of this, later on, this girl who usually has that hot-girl blasé and has a boyfriend was getting flirty with me, and 'stealing hugs' from me.

I carry on to say hello to and meet the rest of the party. I vibe with this set with a HB7.5 and a couple guys, then I say hello to a friend and her friend (HB8) hands me a joint. I ask said friend if we've met before (a decent dhv when said convincingly to a hot girl, I'm able to say it convincingly because I do often run into people who I've met before who I don't remember because I was drunk) because she looked like this model who used who party with this crew. She said no and introduced herself. I vibe with them and my friend gets mad at me for not knowing which neighbourhood she lives in ('you've seen me there!'). I'm also being stupid and not following a story she is telling me, which frustrates her. I remain a good vibe and unreactive, which fails to keep the vibe with my friend (doesn't say good bye to me when she leaves) but I don't intend to get with her and I've already met her hot friend, so whatever. I tell the girls I want to go dance and invite them, my friend declines and her friend says yes but isn't moving yet.

I carry on and vibe a bit with two girls I know. I get to the jam room and jam on the drums a bit. There's a cute girl (hb7) I say hello to, she's a friend of a black dude I know who's chilling there, we say hello. I have some good jams with the folks there, sometimes making eye contact with the cutie and she's loving it. You don't even have to be a great performer, if a girl gets eye contact from you when you're on a stage performing improv etc, or behind a drum kit laying down a groove, you're kind of a rock star to her (guitar and bass don't work as well, singing works okay if you're good). I smile at her while drumming, she smiles and looks away. I keep smiling at her because I know she will look back. She does. She gives an embarrassed smile, girls get embarrassed when a high value guy has the confidence to stare at them like that (and creeped the fuck out when it's a low value guy, if you want to get to the point where you know the difference-- if you're gonna creep out a girl or turn her on... well you need to just fucking try it and creep a couple girls out and learn).

I leave the jam area thinking I'll hit up the hb7, but I run into the friend-of-a-friend hb8. I make eye contact and approach without too much expectation, since I had sorta killed the vibe with the friend. We really get engaged. We talk for a while, she's standing really close. Lots of eye contact and genuine laughing and vibing. I mention how she looks like a friend of mine who I met at another party at this place, but she has a kid now. She says she wants kids, giving very full eye contact (holy shit are some girls this forward about looking for someone to have kids with?), it may have been an offhand remark, but considering our vibe, I took it as an IOI. Unfortunately, I was not prepared for that, and missed an opportunity to escalate.

We've been standing close enough together that my hands keep touching her arms, thighs, but I'm not making the jump to start kino. She's invested enough that when I stop talking and listen to the music, she reengages me in conversation. Our mutual friend comes and asks if she wants to head home with her, and now I really don't know what to do. I was already waffling about kino escalation, and now it seems very unlikely to make an instant pull. I consider asking for her number, but you know those interactions where a girl seems into you in a way that she might come home with you, but that if you don't make a move now and try to set up a day 2, it's gonna be a dud? Yeah, it was all vibe, and no 'story.' I kinda let it peter out.

The rare occasion I go out, while I'm still kind of in monk mode, I feel great with the IOIs I'm getting from hot fucking girls, but I keep making excuses that I need to get a bit more social momentum before I can make well-calibrated escalation. I definitely have to defend against my reputation as a player, as some of the previously mentioned haters are just looking for a reason to give me shit (at a previous party I asked for a girls number and she said no, this hater came up to us and started berating me for how much I approach girls, because he's too fucking scared to. I was unreactive and didn't lose any face, but shit like that can kill the vibe with any girls who witness it. It can put their guards up).

One solution is that I need to do things other than social game, night game and day game, so that I can be more sexually aggressive, forcing the girl to decide to blow you out or give you compliance. One need not do much, touching her arms and moving to put your arm around her shoulder and ultimately around her waist, and you've started into the sexual zone. She was so close to me that I had to actively avoid touching her thighs and stomach. The fact that I didn't is a big DLV.

One has to remember that a girl will give you solid IOIs but you still have to be the one to put some boldness. Girls are shy, they're nervous around guys they're attracted to. They're worried they'll do something and make a fool of themselves in front of their friends or you. Some are crazy and will let you lick their face with their boyfriend a couple meters away, but most care about their social standing too much. If she's standing close enough to me that I have to actively avoid touching her, in her mind, that's about as bold as she will get. Most girls don't want to look uncomposed and horny in front of friends. It was my responsibility to escalate in a socially acceptable way. I didn't do it.

I make the excuses that I need social momentum, and that social game is harder to escalate, but I need to start fucking going for it. If I make a girl wet and then don't figure out how to fuck her, I've let her down and I've lowered my value in her eyes.

Give me your feedback. I think my solution is to do more day game/gaming girls with no friends in common, but also just going for the escalation, and just erring on the side of slow advances with lots of calibration, avoiding bold moves which can be impressive and really get the sexual vibe going, but which can cause problems when not perfectly calibrated.

Stay calibrated, and frame uber alles.