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Porn, Marriage and Swallowing the pill

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February 25, 2019
25 upvotes

As someone new to swallowing the pill, I understand that I need to get myself in order before seeing improvement in my relationship.

I've dedicated this week to not pushing my wife into duty sex that she offers to shut me up. I'm not interested in setteling anymore.

While going through a "celibate" period, does anyone rely on porn for temporary satisfaction or do red pillers take a more drastic no fap like approach?


Post Information
Title Porn, Marriage and Swallowing the pill
Author SalesmanTurnedRed
Upvotes 25
Comments 46
Date 25 February 2019 08:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/220027
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/auq1zp/porn_marriage_and_swallowing_the_pill/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
nofap
Comments

[–]Reach180Red Beret65 points66 points  (5 children) | Copy

Accept the duty sex. Pin her hands above her head and fuck her like you're trying to poke a hole through the box spring. If she laughs at you, or smirks, or says "Um...OK?", you ignore that shit.

Don't ask if it's good for her, don't react to anything she does or says (aside from "stop", obviously). Get on, fuck for as long as you like, cum in her, or on her, or whatever. Wipe off your dick, walk to the kitchen and make yourself a protein shake.

Don't be a retard about it. But keep on fucking your wife. Act like a guy who knows what he wants, not a guy who says "Gosh, why don't you get into it more?".

Fuck as good (for you) as you know how. Categorically rejecting duty sex is mostly you being butthurt about her not wanting to fuck you.

If you do this, and you get to the gym, and you quit acting like a little boy, eventually you'll start getting the "What has gotten into you lately?" treatment. Wives like to fuck the "What has gotten into you lately" guy.

[–]hack3geRed Beret22 points23 points  (4 children) | Copy

+1 for caveman - I wonder why people come to a sexual strategy forum and say hey I’m not having sex.

My wife laid there only once since I unplugged and I grabbed her shoulders and damn near pounded her through the headboard to where I could see her gritting her teeth. Funny thing is she was sweet and submissive the next day and actually initiated which was rare for her.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because that faggot Glover book recommends a sex moratorium... also says to tell your wife about fight club.

Other than covert contracts, that book is blue faggotry at its finest.

[–]helaughsinhidden6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

+1 for caveman

+2 to finish on her face as a reward for her kind generosity

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hahah - I recently got a vasectomy so there's only one place that shit is going right now.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I still count dozens.

[–]creating_my_life11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

I understand that I need to get myself in order before seeing improvement in my relationship.

you're still using "improvement in your relationship" as the measure of your success.

it's not.

the measure of your success is getting yourself in order. relationship improvements are a CONSEQUENCE of getting yourself in order, not a GOAL.

As long as you're doing this to improve your marriage, you're failing. do this to improve yourself.

a good mrp phrase is, "mrp saves the man, not necessarily the marriage."

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would top a tranny before I accepted self celibacy.

Jesus Christ man what is wrong with you?

Lots of men don’t even get duty sex from their wives.

And here you are choosing to not fuck your wife.

Unfuck yourself while you get duty sex.

You will never go from duty sex to Dr Red sex by self sabotage of your most basic male instinct.

All you will do is fap non stop like I do when I take to much Adderall if you purposefully not fuck your wife.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I had a comment on porn in my guide. You might want to check it out.

[–]helaughsinhidden2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I swear I can feel my testosterone dropping if I PMO

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

porn for temporary satisfaction

If you need porn then you don't need to jack off. Do what you want to do, but I found no porn has helped me significantly.

As others recommended - read Sex God Method. Also, read this post. Separating sex from validation is a long process (at least for me it is). Once you start separating the two, you'll find yourself not caring very much about quantity or quality... and by not caring as much quantity and quality both improve.

[–]red88lobster2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Everybody is different but personally I found no porn to be a major important first step in getting my life in order.

A few months before I found trp my wife had a massive meltdown.

She accused me of cheating on her ...with porn. She told multiple members of both our families. My bluepill response was to have a tantrum slam doors and storm out of the house like a teenager.

After finding MRP and reading a bunch of books I stopped watching porn. I didn't tell her. I didn't talk to her about anything I was reading.

I found that no fap or at least no porn gave me motivation to get my wife in bed.

I realised she "felt like" I was cheating because she couldn't "feel" my desire for her sexy ass.

If you have already spanked the monkey three times in the day and you crawl into bed and ask your wife for duty sex she will smell the pathetic all over you.

If your wife doesn't want your dick use the lack of sex as motivation to get fit. Get attractive. And next time you are tempted to watch porn. Read a book about male multiple orgasm instead

[–]phatphreak6662 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mantak Chia

[–]Terminal-Psychosis1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like you need to get your test levels checked.

Most watch porn, jack off and still have plenty of interest in a very active sex life.

Best of all, combine all three. /nofap has nothing to do with TRP and is basically a cult of bullshit pseudoscience.

What you do with your own body is your own business. She doesn't own you and is being very abusive. Majorly juvenile shaming attempt there.

Fap away, Porn away, and fuck her silly... in fact fuck her to some really raunchy porn in the background.

[–]red88lobster0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well everybody is different.

If I'm having sex 1-2 times per day I don't personally find time to watch porn . Let alone fap. ... I'm too busy.

I agree that some people take no fap too far.

However someone fresh to MRP would benefit from not wasting time playing with themselves and focusing on improving themselves.

Personally no porn helped me see the "...very abusive, Majorly juvenile shaming attempt...". And improve myself so my wife stopped treating me like shit.

I've never had my T levels checked. Im hairy as a yeti , bearded like a Viking, shooting wife with cum at record levels and velocities. So assumed I'm ok.

[–]6TimesDown7TimesUp3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I would recommend no-fap and no-porn. Both are instant gratification that are too “easy” IMO. There’s no gaming, no escalations, no behaviors that you need to learn to game your wife.

Also, it will let you “lean into your discomfort”.

Becoming truly OI, eliminating covert contracts as well as having sex just to validate your ego can all benefit from no porn and no fap if you aren’t getting laid regularly.

You can recognize the feelings and the emotions that are created and let them pass over you and not be a slave to them.

If you can just jack off and watch porn whenever your wife turns you down and you act all butthurt and passive-aggressive instead of owning the moment and truly not giving a fuck, what ability are you going to have or develop a non-autistic approach to handling duty sex?

[–]Terminal-Psychosis1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

oh god no. HORRIBLE advice.

The freaks over at /nofap are more a belief based cult than anything else.

So much bullshit.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm thinking /u/6TimesDown7TimesUp is simply advocating not masturbating to porn. I don't think he means visit the no fap subreddit. Or do you?

[–]6TimesDown7TimesUp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. Not advocating the subreddit, just advocating not jerking off to porn instead of gaming the wife.

It’s super easy to have a wank and watch some porno and passive aggressively think “look at me, I’m not having sex with my wife, that’ll teach her!” when in fact she’s hoping desperately that her low tingles beta husband will do exactly that and end up reinforcing the underlying lack of attraction.

It’s much harder to say, “well, I’m horny, the wife is my only outlet. Guess I better up my game” even when intermittent duty sex might be the only play until he improves.

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Relying on porn is for betas. The urge for me is still strong to watch women on a screen whom I have zero connection with get me off.

I find when I go back, because woman have responsive desire, that because my brain correlates life with zero game and coming, that I am successful with neither, except of course, when I’m jerking off to porn.

Here is a better idea: 1) get some options. 2) stop being a beta and jerking off to porn.

Neat thing is, when I stopped jerking off, I stopped wondering why my wife was not initiating. Instead, I wanted to fuck or get her to suck my dick, and I made it happen by gaming and having fun with her . I activated her responsive desire center by being a man.

Just stop it with this bullshit, all the weak ass I want her to be more I want her to fuck enthusiastically I want I want I want.

Become a man who takes what he wants. Right now you are typing like you have zero options, why by the way mother fucker, I can sense through the internet. Now imagine a being who has literally evolved over hundreds of thousands of years how to sniff this out. Imagine that being’s very existence and existence of their future offspring depends on it.

That being is your / our wife / wives.

Get some options. Exercise them, or don’t. But get some options mother fucker. A sex hiatus is fucking rediculous. A sex hiatus with your wife shouldn’t be anything of the sort.

Pro tip: replace porn with real women. Or at least tell her when she asks “did you jerk off?” With “I only cum for real woman now”. But you’ve got to mean it.

[–]Terminal-Psychosis0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

There's nothing wrong with watching porn. Watch some with a girl, it's tons of fun.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Relying on porn is for betas.

I can see you're rushing in to defend porn all over this thread. You like porn; cool. You're dropping context every time. Some may say not to watch porn ever, and that may be over the top I agree. But the main message here is for /u/SalesmanTurnedRed: porn is a way of evading reality, porn can become pathological really quickly, and for someone who is attempting to unplug, it should be avoided. So chill the fuck out.

[–]NMMNG_12 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. STFU
  2. Lift
  3. Sidebar.

You can literally start 2 of those right now. Instantly.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

“I'm not interested in setteling anymore”

Betas don’t get to decide that. Take the duty sex faggot. Use this time to practice being an actual MAN. Fuck her.

You have a long way to go.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sex as a chore sounds absolutely fucking awful -- imagine having to fuck someone that you had no attraction and no passion to. The classic "Every unhappy wife is a rape victim" message.

That said - this cause of this post seems to be 1) you whine about not getting sex (gaaaaayy!) and 2) pulling some "you can't fire me! i quit!" bullshit.

While going through a "celibate" period

Isn't the real problem here that you aren't attractive enough for anyone else to fuck?

[–]NMMNG_10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Isn't the real problem here that you aren't attractive enough for anyone else to fuck?

This. As painful as it is, this is the reality. The OP can ignore it and call it a "celibate period" or man up and see the truth. She's not attracted to you.

OP, she may become attracted to you again as you become more attractive in general to other women.

[–]ParaXilo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As someone who did someone this retarded shit.

Don't do it.

Fuck her if you want to fuck.

Give less fucks if she rejects you.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cut the bullshit and just fuck.

Mine throws it out to avoid me nexting her every once in a while, and I fuck her into releasing buckets.

When in doubt, fuck a hole into the mattress.

But, whatever you do, cut the faggot Glover reach out and moratorium shit

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You’re very new if you think this retarded plan of yours is a good idea. Why would you go celibate? You fuck her. Practice your kino and fuck her. She offers sex you fuck her, you want sex then you take her and fuck her.

What on earth good can come from you refusing sex because you feel it’s “duty sex”? Do you think your pussy bitch ass pouting that it’s “duty sex” is gonna make her wet for you? If you want good sex the ONLY way is to be a man she wants to fuck. Not some faggoty bitch.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, i dislike going against the grain but here we are.

The other lads have your answer nailed, but if your intuition says to get away from this woman for a bit, do it. I mean from an emotional, validation type of perspective. It can be a good start towards the independence you need. NoFap is mostly a mindset change, in the same way as any addiction must be addressed. Everything in moderation etc.

But take your sex break for the right reasons, which is so you have a break from the circus to improve your game. Not because it will trick her into thinking whatever it is you think will happen.

[–]Terminal-Psychosis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Rubbing one out one in a while is fully healthy and happy.

Porn is also not the devil's work. Watch some with your girl, it's mad fun.

/nofap is total bullshit and has nothing to do with TRP whatsoever.

And like some other top comments said, keep fucking her. As you improve, she'll shape up.

Or not, and then it's time to think about swapping her out for a better model.

Sounds like ya got a ways to go. Keep reading the sidebar. And for god's sake, stay away from the freaks at /nofap

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Like anything else, your behavior has to be congruent. I agree with the other posters that you should, in general, be fucking your wife. But if you wanted to take a week off to recalibrate I don't see that as a bad thing. It's all about how you come back to it that will matter.

To wit:

  1. If you take a week off of initiating and then come back with the same whiny bullshit you've always done, then nothing is achieved. Her perception of your will be the same. Hell, your self-perception will be the same.

  2. If you take a week off, get your head straight, and come back with a better self-concept and some OI, you'll both see you in a new light. She won't suddenly be your slut, but you'll plant a seed of hope.

So, no, no jacking to porn. Let that desire build and fuel your workouts, fuel your game. When you back is against the wall is when you really learn how to do shit. Do or die, as they say.

P.S. It's Tuesday. Done your OYS yet?

[–]DrPillPopperMD0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Once you really develop OI and decide you don’t want to settle for bad sex, u can start, if she’s not into it, stop until she gets the message that mediocre sex isn’t going to cut it.

You are not there yet, actually you have a long way to go, I second the opinions of caveman and I can tell you from experience that’s a hard thing for a reformed nice guy to do. I used to watch my wife during sex and react to her winces and frown faces, etc when something didn’t feel good for her. What helped me was to close my eyes and focus on what feels good for me, and in the end she fucking loved it - woman liked to be fucked hard, makes them feel wanted and sexy (not all the time obviously) but it’s a good tool in ur tool belt.

Read SGM, he specifically talks about variety and u need it - most of the time, when I would tease my wife during the day and ask her how she wanted it tonight when she gets home, she would say do it like last night (after caveman) - unless she was sore lol.

In terms of the porn and fapping, I would cut it out, not for any other reason but to help u focus on improving ur self and letting the desire build for ur wife so u have motivation to initiate. Fapping is easy and stupid as a distraction from ur goal of making ur self a better man.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Hey guys. I'm wondering if there is a problem with my way of thinking. Currently losing weight and wife is offering duty sex and blowjobs. She's not attracted to me at all. I used to care that I was what she wanted and I was the man she desired. I don't give a fuck anymore, so long as I keep getting my dick wet. I've started to view this as a business arrangement for the time being. Just wondering if that could mess things up for me down the road.

[–]Galaxaura0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Mess things up for you in what way? How could enjoying "duty sex" with your wife bite you in the ass later on? I'm dying to know.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm worried I might lose my drive and just take what I have access to. I'm worried there's an effect the the chick carousel for women where if you accept too much duty sex it becomes unbearable.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cue the fireworks.

There is not an agreement among Red Pill guys about porn, masturbation, or celibacy. Many Red Pill types abjure porn and the no fappers have practically turned it into a religion.

[–]Redpillbrigade170 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes you should jerk off to online porn as much as possible. Preferably right after you wake up in the morning.

/s

Unless you’re using it for educational purposes or for turning on your wife/ LTR: Cut. Porn. Out. Of. Your. Life. And for education there are way better resources out there such as Extreme restraints university.

Good luck.

[–]40mullet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I tried this caveman approach couple of times and did not like it. I did find one position, where it was visually arousing, but usually that is not for me. Same happens when wife gain weight. Sex frequency goes down.

There is nothing manly or masculine to fuck everything that moves like everybody seems to suggest here. Have some standards and self respect.

[–]callmeanubermensch-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

When in marriage porn should exist for one reason and one reason alone: the Coolidge Effect.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect

Use porn to keep yourself consistently horny for your wife and not to get yourself off. Masturbation is for business trips if it's not over your wife's face.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Masturbation is for business trips

Last time I tried that, I got thrown out of the conference.

[–]Terminal-Psychosis1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Watching porn together with a girl is really fun.

Coolidge has a good point there, as to why, but it's not all there is.

should exist for one reason and one reason alone:

this is taking it WAY too far. Porn is fun in and of itself, even alone to pull one out once in a while. It is not some evil boogyman. Like all good things, everything with moderation.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“Masturbation is for business trips“

So.Gay.



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