Is it ever ok to open up to Women?

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February 28, 2019
118 upvotes

I say open up as in telling a woman your feelings and not necessarily in expressing them. What are you supposed to do when she starts opening up and venting towards you but then wants you to do the same? I don’t really like sharing my current emotional status or even talking about shit like that because even though i do feel and experience just like everyone else i don’t really like to open up like that at all. Is it better to just not really be all out there as a good rule in general?


Post Information
Title Is it ever ok to open up to Women?
Author spider_1337
Upvotes 118
Comments 177
Date 28 February 2019 01:49 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/220074
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/avrby7/is_it_ever_ok_to_open_up_to_women/
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Comments

[–]0io-128 points129 points  (13 children) | Copy

It's probably OK to say something along the lines of "I had to deal with a bunch of bullshit but it's all taken care of now." In general you want to be in a good mood and confident that you can handle everything. Expressing any genuine worry or concern to her is a bad idea, as she may think you're weak or unstable or out-of-control.

[–]spider_1337[S] 19 points20 points  (10 children) | Copy

Do topics involving past experiences count or can you be more lenient in expression?

[–]0io-58 points59 points  (8 children) | Copy

As long as the story ends on some kind of positive note where you became a stronger person you can probably admit to having had negative feelings in the past. "My stepfather was a drunk and used to beat me when I was 9 years old. That's why I vowed to lift weights and join the Marines and decided never to drink." Or, "I was so sad when my mom died that I was miserable, and I had to do everything around the house and take care of my little sister. I will always fight to protect the people I love."

What you don't want to do is say things like "I'm really scared I'm going to lose my job" or anything that makes you sound insecure. You could say "I'm sick of the idiots at work and seriously thinking about taking a different job." Anything that makes you seem weak or vulnerable or wishy-washy is highly unattractive. As long as whatever you're talking about results in your not giving a fuck because you know you've got other options, you should be OK.

[–]idreamofkitty1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

While I know you're correct I think it's bullshit. How are men supposed to vent or express emotion. Talk to the dog? This can't be healthy.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy

Talk to men.

[–]0io-3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the right answer.

[–]idreamofkitty0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Lol have you ever talked to a man about your problems? Nobody gives a shit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds like you have shitty friends.

[–]idreamofkitty1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Probably. But I doubt even the best of friends are that interested in your issues. I think in general women are more willing to share and empathize. Men will skip empathy and go straight to problem solving and move on.

Edit: could this be why suicide rates are higher in men?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't be too surprised. A more practical suggestion would be to hire a therapist. Or heck, get some female friends you can work stuff out with too.

[–]Camp_KillYourself1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can't expect your S.O. to be your therapist in life.

They also have their own issues to deal with.

Idk where the current crop of men have been taught but as Jocko Willink says STIFLE YOUR emotions.

[–]friendandadvisor6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do topics involving past experiences count or can you be more lenient in expression?

Any topic in which you can cry like a bitch. Women love that stuff. When she's fucking your boss, it will give both of them a laugh, which will make the sex hotter for them.

[–]thatguyhanzel1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I back this statement up.

[–]LoneWolf0mega1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

NO they will use everything against you

Think of it as the Military giving guns and ammo to an Insurgent group

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire2193 points194 points  (12 children) | Copy

Yes, on your deathbed. And only to say, "Ha, you thought I was alpha, but I was actually a massive beta this whole time. Every time you thought I was out banging a side-piece, I was secretly playing D&D and watching Inuyasha with the nerd herd. Thank you for passing on muh beta genes, and now, I bid you adieu."

[–]spider_1337[S] 70 points71 points  (5 children) | Copy

Ha She’s gonna come out with, “ Honey youre not actually Tyrones father...”

[–]friendandadvisor27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Husband is in hospital dying.

Wife comes in, crying. "Honey, My conscience has been bothering me, and I have to tell you something. Of all of our 6 children, have you never wondered how come James is the only one with blond hair?"

Husband: "You mean, he's not mine?"

Wife: "No, he is."

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire239 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy

Oh come now, if I someone's going to claim to be the mother of my child, I will be having that claim tested six ways from Sunday.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol real talk

[–]Gr33d3ater0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Well yeah the name is Tyrone. Dead giveaway. Some black dude named that kid

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, but what if and/or my wife were of African descent? LOL.

I really want to see someone lampoon this concept, where you have the stereotypical good-looking, athletic couple of African descent, but then the wife cucks the husband with some scrawny nerd-looking white guy because he was funny, made her laugh, was versed in game, and slithered in there while the hubby was away on business or with his buddies. Then she develops a fetish and hubby has to watch in the corner and cry while being cucked to keep the wife. Yeah, it's mostly unrealistic (especially the last part) but I'm sure it has happened, if nothing it not out of resentment and a perverse desire to do the opposite of expectations. Like, the wife has already cheating with the stereotypical alphas, but now is bored with that experience, so she decides to fuck the pimply check-out clerk and then anonymously post the tell-all to her pseudonymous sex blog.

[–]showerdudes9 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

hahaha I imagine her taking 5 seconds to just digest what you said and then yelling "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" as you close your eyes and pass away with a smile on your lips

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]NeedRealityShock5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh shit, we have a winner

[–]Monkitail3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

hahahah

[–]rebuildingMyself4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Troll face is last face you're allowed to have before the great journey begins

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao

[–]Ihatemoi98 points99 points  (15 children) | Copy

Nope, just nope, never, you are a rock, done. My Dad, the manliest figure in my life, only ever told my mom he was sad when his father diet at 93 years old (my grandfather), he never shed a tear in front of me, my mom or anyone else.

I know he was devastated after the burial ceremony on the way home, he was driving by himself after droping me in another city, and I know he cried because he told me he "felt bad" during that solo trip he did.

Suffer in silence. I learn so much from him.

[–]krunchtimer24 points25 points  (6 children) | Copy

Best post in the thread IMHO. It takes a while but "suffer in silence" is what you have to do.

[–]Ihatemoi16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yes, it is odd at times, we have been conditioned by this new post modern society, that it is good to cry and share your feelings and whatnot, I disagree.

My father did not show any sad feelings, crying to others, because he is a man, and he was taught in his younger years I presume, to be strong and self sufficient. He does not know what red pill is, he is just acting and behaving as his father did before him and his grandfather before and so on. Manly traits that perdure from generations.

He knows he has to be strong not only for himself, but because he has a responsibility as a rock and anchor of my family, me and my mom. That is what a man does.

During the funeral, my past self would have cried all day long. Do not take me wrong, I was destroyed, but I stood all the time by my father learning how he acted, how he behaved what responsibilities he took during the funeral. I did not cry, not in from of anybody. In fact I was calm and tried to support my uncles and aunts. I think that it is harsh times that test the strenght of our character. That is what define us as men.

[–]clork13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Being this committed to holding in emotion is not healthy. One of the most stoic people I know broke up with his girl and held it in and topped himself a few weeks later.

Having a strong resolve and being there to help when people need you is good. Holding it in to the point of breaking is pretty closed minded. People deal with stuff in different ways and this may not be the best way for everyone.

[–]Lazysaurus3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

True, but talk about it with your best male friend, or a therapist. Don't make your woman your therapist, and don't expose your kids to it.

[–]clork1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So your kids grow up thinking a real man has no emotions? And your girl thinks you’re always fine? Grow up man.

[–]MishtaBiggles2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

So much on this forum is based on fake bro science. Estrogen and a women’s strength comes from her ability to nurture. That doesn’t mean you can be a mopey bitch but expressing hardship isn’t going to make her leave you or dry up. A huge part of a women’s satisfaction comes from “helping”

You can’t be a mopey little bitch but you can express hardship as long as it’s done in a way that shows you have a plan and WILL overcome it. Sharing that overcoming with your partner strengthens your bond... Jesus Christ people

[–]ViewsFromThe_6040 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree great stuff. Thx for sharing bro

[–]Aidsagain3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes bro..real men cry in the car, in the shower,while driving or even while drinking.....but always Alone!

[–]arhombus0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

That sounds incredibly unhealthy. I have a network of men in my life with whom I talk on almost a daily basis. We share openly and honestly about the things that go on in our heads and lives. To me, that connection is invaluable.

There are things that we discuss that are off the table with our partners, whether male or female, and that's fine. But none of us suffer alone and I certainly would never want that. Feelings need to be shared. Whether you do that with a partner or men in your network is up to you. My experience has taught me that needs to be done. Emotions need to be discussed and dealt with or you can find yourself consumed by them. To not deal with feelings is very unhealthy and mentally damaging.

[–]UnshakableFrame-2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy

Speak for yourself dude.

it's unhealthy for you. We all have our coping mechanisms.

[–]arhombus1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Silently suffering is a lack of a coping mechanism.

[–]UnshakableFrame-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

you're projecting your values.

I suffer in silence all the time. It works wonders for me. Cycling through and analysing my emotions thoroughly, asking myself questions, the whole process... it's therapeutic for me. It works.

[–]arhombus0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Nope. As unique as you think you are, you're not. The human mind works very similarly in everyone and current psychological consensus says you are wrong. Suffering silently is not a coping mechanism, it is just suffering.

[–]UnshakableFrame0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

can you link to said consensus?

[–]arhombus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There's a whole field of psychology, go do your own reading. You will find no one that thinks it's beneficial to do what you suggest.

[–]2SirKolbath109 points110 points  (27 children) | Copy

The only time it’s acceptable to show women your softer side is when your dog dies. Anything else will breed contempt in them.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire269 points70 points  (13 children) | Copy

I have literally read accounts of alpha guys losing women for getting upset when their dad dies.

[–]failingtheturingtest13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

I saw those as well. Honestly I think there was other shit and that was the final straw.

I've had a pretty rough run of death by cancer in the family, even had one of them deliver their final message for their wife to me before staring at me and taking their last breaths. I've certainly been comfortable sharing a few moments of weakness with a couple of women and never felt for second that they were less attracted or anything but supportive.

Just don't be a pitiful, slobbery, "no one understands how bad my life is suddenly" mess.

[–]SalporinRP17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah the idea that the guy was a perfect alpha male and because he cried when his dad died his LTR/wife dumped him is honestly ludicrous.

There's no way there wasn't a litany of other problems.

[–]Zech4riah10 points11 points  (8 children) | Copy

Funny because my ex actually came back to me when my dad died (she heard about it and called right away) because at last she could see my softer side and she could connect with me and feel needed.

None of these happened during our relationship because I've always been naturally (too) stoic stone. (and this was over 10 year ago, before knowing about TRP).

You can feel and show that you feel but don't be a pussy about it and show that you can handle it at the same time.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire29 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Of course! I'm by no means an absolutist or a TRP dogmatist. Stuff like you describe happens all the time. However, she already had seen your stoic side, so this "humanized" you and made you more relatable. It would be like watching Thor or The Rock cry. Women find it adorable when THEY cry, because it makes them relatable. However, the pimply nerd crying.... he needs to die.

[–]Zech4riah9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

True.

It was funny actually now when I think about it, she got so drugged about me being a bit emotional that the following weeks she tried to get me cry about my father every weekend we saw each other (Comments like: "How are you feeling?" "You know you can cry if you feel like it.").

...and sometimes she got frustrated because most of the time I said: "I can't cry if I don't feel like crying" to which she responded with comments like "Why are you always hiding your emotions and being so cold".

True betaization poison drip going on there...

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire24 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, testing for weakness. They should really rename "shit-testing" "testing for weakness" for the sake of accuracy.

[–]red_philosopher1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm pretty sure it's a grade-A shit test. Not a betaization drip.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Funny because my ex actually came back to me when my dad died (she heard about it and called right away) because at last she could see my softer side and she could connect with me and feel needed.

None of these happened during our relationship because I've always been naturally (too) stoic stone. (and this was over 10 year ago, before knowing about TRP).

You can feel and show that you feel but don't be a pussy about it and show that you can handle it at the same time.

Well, hold on...I'm trying to tread warily...

But...

Your wife gave up the other dick she had because she now perceives you as gentler? Something smells fishy here, to me. Did you get a large inheritance, in addition to your newfound 'kinder, gentler' side?

[–]Zech4riah2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

She wasn't my wife. Just a GF. Don't know what she did meanwhile we were apart but she wasn't officially dating anyone.

And no, there wasn't exactly any inheritance. Parents were kind of poor and I got only the portion of inheritance which law enforces around here which in this case was about 13k euros which I invested right away to my mothers new apartment (instead of just blowing away it in student parties). Dad was just a bit over 50yo when he died so I was kind of young. I had just started studying etc.

But I see your point if there had been something to inherit :D

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Don't know what she did meanwhile we were apart but she wasn't officially dating anyone.

ftfy

[–]Zech4riah1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would have preferred bolding tho ;)

[–]ToiletPaperPringles4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Source?

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire218 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

It was on here. It was more than one account.

Now, this place selects for guys who have been fucked over, so there is that. I mean, it's pretty cold-blooded to have zero empathy for a guy dealing with depression after a parent dies, especially if the guy is younger and/or the death is untimely. I would say that depression and mental illness are a huge turn-off to women, as a is a bad attitude, negativity, bringing up depressing or "serious" subjects, etc. They are all about survival. They want chipper, can-do, everything will be fine rocks.

It's funny though, as my dad as a reputation for never crying. He got "a little" choked up watching Saving Private Ryan, and at his mother's funeral. Just "a little" choked up. I once asked him though, recently, if he cries, and he says that he does, but in private. It's too bad he never told me this when I needed to hear it. I just assumed that he was this pillar of strength, but really, he was human all along, and merely judiciously concealed his emotional outbursts from prying eyes.

[–]spider_1337[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

By showing “your softer side” you mean by expressing oneself through words right?

[–]2SirKolbath12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

More easily translated as “breaking frame and allowing emotions of any kind to control you briefly.”

If you aren’t burying Old Yeller or watching that goddamn movie, you are the unflappable warrior.

[–]GGrub8-4 points-3 points  (10 children) | Copy

No, not even that. Dogs have short lifespans and your SO will wonder why you're getting upset for something you already knew was coming.

[–]2SirKolbath15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy

Good. That means she’s not worth being my SO. It’s helpful when the trash takes itself out.

[–]SalporinRP7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

Exactly lol. Dude if your gf seriously loses attraction for you because you cry when your dog dies she can take a fucking hike lol.

I'm not gonna be in an LTR with a sociopath...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is exactly the disconnect that I never see discussed really. If they weed themselves out, then good riddance! Saves you the time and heartache later

[–]thirstybitch131 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I like cats

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like cats

Well, then, no woman will ever like you. Some things work themselves out. Monasteries are all over, just call a Catholic church or Buddhist temple.

[–]earlpfeiffer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If your? It is. Learn this. Don’t argue. Learn it. Understand it. (Why does she lose attraction?) Ask questions. Think. Observe. Don’t flinch. Don’t imagine. Try again.

[–]Rav_the_slav5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Retards like you should be instantly banned from askTRP because you can't be giving out advice while still lurking in the anger phase.

No woman or a man that is't autistic is this existential."Oh your dog died? Stop being a pussy we all die and life is meaningless".

[–]Hyper_Sonik7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

1 man's dog is worth 10 females any day. And by Dog I mean the real ones. Not those yapper rats I use for target practice. I can't stand seeing a grown man being led by a little rat dog.

[–]thirstybitch133 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You sound like an insecure faggot who only wants to suck a big alpha dog's cock

[–]Aidsagain0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well I gave you both a +1

[–]Velebit20 points21 points  (12 children) | Copy

There was a guy that told story of his female friend saying to a group of friends she broke up with her boyfriend after he started crying when the story of his childhood without his dead mother came up. After seeing him squeal and get all runny nosed and grimacing in tears, she just lost sexual attraction to him. When she told it she even felt bad.

There is simply no point in expecting women to be emotionally useful. They are not raised to do that. They are raised to be princesses and leave kids at daycare while they focus on whatever makes THEM happy. Todays mothers do not talk to their kids in a genuine, deep, empathizing and wise way, they give them an iphone or candy or some cash to go away or hire someone and hope the problem goes away. If she is like that with her kids how do you expect her to be useful or even willing to you.

You opening up only makes sense if she got to know you like that. If you sold her the story of hard alpha macho guy and she bought it, it is 100% idiotic to talk now how you have pains in the morning and how you dislike your coworker or how Trumps tax policy is making you worried or how your dad is cold to you and never talks about important issues or how it slightly bothers you when she does not make it ABUNDANTLY clear she orgasmed.

If she fell for the alpha macho male she WILL BE TURNED OFF BY THESE THINGS

I got long hair and am artist with 160lb and I attract different type of women (nurses, tomboys, athletes, emo/goth, autistic) but even a doctor female has limited desire to 'fix' you. They are attracted to a problematic bad boy due to her excitement at overpowering your problematic (toxic masculinity or pride, aggression, ambition, hate, disgust, overdiscipline, uncaring) nature in a sneaky backhanded way by using her pussy to controle you. But if you go about: here is the problem, now tell me how to go about it... they will be instantly overwhelmed and confused.

I know it is retarded, but today it is easier to find woman who will be happy to have you on the recieving end of financial, attention, sexual side of things rather then emotional.

I currently have an autistic plate and she once mentioned how she left her previous bf because she became like a 'walking stick' to him. She hates the feeling of beeing needed by a man. This woman is by far THE MOST career oriented woman I know and is even religious and has a medically different mind then most women. Think how unusual a woman interested in airplane engineering must be. Yet still... that is a turnoff. Simple self absorption.

Women today lost their primary feminine role of being emotional support and empathising.

It is easier to find a sugar mommy then a woman who will hug you and tell you all is going to be alright, she believes in you and there is nothing that can stop you or give you an actual useful solution.

If you tell them your problems those neurotic creatures just get stressed out, worried and dry.

[–]Haunting_Glove 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy

So basically women these days are only good for sex?

They're not even able to fulfill the emotional needs a their man anymore?

[–]Velebit5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

Not really only for sex. Women are forcing themselves into male roles and increasingly think and behave like men.

I can find girls that earn a lot and like to treat both themselves and me but they are failures at the nurturing side of things.

I know of many guys who are basically supported by their women financially yet those same women lack any social communicative skills to actually talk those men into getting off the couch or networking to find them a job.

Skills of

-emoting -rising ones spirits -networking -matchmaking -breastfeeding -advising -organizing socialization -seduction -social and moral hygiene -running stable and future oriented finances

Are all either gone or massively decreased in quality.

Today women are drunken careerist autistic goofballs traveling around and men go to seminars and read books to take on the traditionally feminine skills of seduction, understanding emotions, networking and body grooming.

Previously sex meant babies. Can't have one without the other and it was a womans burden by default to either go to monastery and give up worldly pleasures or women up and do these roles. There was also social institue of dueling which meant promiscuous top 5% males would get reined in or killed off eventually if they tried to screw with the system. This is why so many white and Japanese people are naturally lacking in alpha extrovert talk to everyone (networking) kinds of traits.

Today they don't have to and so 95% of men are forced to do feminine roles AND compete with women in male roles.

[–]Velebit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]Haunting_Glove 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Jesus. This is such a bleak outlook, yet I know what you say to be true.

What hope is there?

[–]Velebit1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It is not bleak, just western materialism being degenerated. Go to South America, Africa or SE Asia. There your smv is automatically higher and women are also still raised to do those feminine tasks.

When society introduced literacy and secular scholing people started reading holy books on their own and found inconsistencies. They started doubting the stories (theology) behind religion. However all religions are basically telling people a few same evolutionarily beneficial goals: selfcontrol, humility, loyalty, fertility, care for others, be ready to sacrifice for a noble goal, be honorable.

How often do you hear honor being mentioned today?

Those goals are useful for making a civilization run well, however saying that leaves vast majority of people unphased. Saying they will get eternal life (heaven, Valhalla or reincarnation) or get horrible punishment if they misbehave seems to be what these silly human animals need to be good.

Now people are cynical and disillusioned and the only secular religion equivalent (youtube search religion of blood) is defeated...

People have to have something that is a top value that functions as HOLY. It used to be irrelevant how true that something is because nobody could even read let alone use science to check facts.

Today you have to put something real as top value. Today that is hedonism and hedonism is evolutionarily destructive and selfish. Hedonism won out against all theological religions and militarily defeated religion of blood. The reason why religion of blood works is because story of group greatness is something that is more tangible and there is collectivism in sharing blood, history and future. The problem of those is that they require to jusifty their greatness. This is why Japan and Germany are doing poorly while Israel is doing well (only westernized country to have not only above replacement but high birth rates). They can point their finger at numerous victories against all odds and easily conclude the world needs more of them.

Today only extremely backward places where people are too busy working 15 hours to have food and drink can 'resist' hedonism because they havent yet started reading and thinking for themselves, and did not deconstruct stories they don't have time to analyze too much.

[–]NeedRealityShock0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Could the feminization of men and masculinization of women be induced by culture with the goal of reducing population growth?

[–]Velebit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It depends what do you mean by culture?

There is tl.dr. and I even mention Israel.

If you mean simply what is considered normal and what is tought by children right now then the answer is to a small extent yes.

If you mean culture as in everything that interfeers with the human animal and its genome, then to a much larger extent yes. This would include technology and laws.

The reason why Jane (1985) is not feminine is not merely due to being raised by state schooling and tv of 20th century, it is also because for the last 200 years, the 'mutational load' among people of both sexes is growing.

Let me explain what this means. In the past, people carrying genes for weak immune system would not make it. Some 70% of kids would die before reaching maturity. This is why people had almost 8 kids on average yet numbers stayed stable.

People who used hygiene, who took the time to organize their family to stop avoidable loss of health and life and who used medical help were mostly the elite.

The reason why the elite had an advantage is due to them being unusual and trying to rock the boat (it is not natural to rock the boat, it is natural to just do what everyone else does) and most of that is due to having mutations in their genetic code. Since 80% of rich/smart people survived and only around 30-40% of stupid/poor people survived, over hundreds of years we had a massive population replacement.

Simply, todays women are no longer selected for being highly feminine because technology can make a post wall woman fertile and men are no longer selected for being masculine because a massive chunk of most masculine men died in world wars and those who were too weak or slow or cowardly to fight got to cash in after making baby boomer generation that way weakly raised (despite them having stable two parent traditional family) because by then, they had a mutant unfeminine mom and mutant unfeminine dad and were themselves due to genetic mutations drawn towards weird stuff.

The reason why war selected for best in middle ages is because those who were rich had armor and those who were smart had better skills and survivability. The dumb and poor (usually goes one with the other) had nothing and died quick. When you have random bullets and mines and artillery and nobody has armor it tends to kill of the bravest and most patriotic (testosterone and oxytocin genes go down in population).

Anyways you can see Israel has same western culture but is doing very well demographcially because they never relied on same gene selection as Europeans did. Their current situation is their NORMAL, while it is ABNORMAL for Europeans and east Asians who feel like fishes out of water and need something different to function. Korea had fertility of 0.96 in 2018 and that is not due to Jewish meddling or poverty (N.Korea also fell below replacement level despite isolation) but because for a Korean mind to feel like making babies it has to have incredibly specific environment. Kind of like Pandas. Panda numbers are low because every little thing makes them too uncomfortable to reproduce.

Blacks don't mind any of it though.

Tl.dr. culture somewhat but mostly it is civilizational and technological stuff. The only groups that do great demographically are those who limit technology (Amish) or are adapted to something different. Whites and east Asians have evolved in 'winter' (hardship) and now, because it is 'summer' (easy) our whole biological equilibrium is fucked up. Populations that evolved for summer like those in deserts and jungles do very well.

[–]MrCurious420 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I remember that thread, it was really sad to read

[–]Velebit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hahaha yeah. That one was hard hitting. However, good news is those unemotional bitches are probably carrying sick mutations that are maladaptive to mammalian environment.

https://youtu.be/jXxifvpVHT4

These scientists basically explain how some very sick behaviors spread.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They're not even able to fulfill the emotional needs a their man anymore?

"Anymore"???

[–]thirstybitch131 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wrong. You're talking about American girls. Hook up with some southeast Asian chicks and they'll do anything to be your rock if you'll he theirs.

[–]Velebit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am talking about women I know in eastern Europe. I would not be surprised that women from different races or cultures that are behind ij social trends have retained those emoting skills.

However it is of note to consider that those women usually require you to be a traditional provider and keep identical role as 100 years ago while the amount of their duties is lower by default and that many men are unwilling to have offspring that will be shorter and less well endowned than them.

[–]throwawaybpdnpd61 points62 points  (12 children) | Copy

I only ONCE broke down when talking about my toxic parents....

Next thing you know, 2 weeks later she’s already branch swinging; telling me the time I broke down is when her attraction turned all off

Trust me on that, keep it all in if you have to talk about it then hire a therapist or talk to your close MALE friends; you can’t show weakness otherwise women feel defenseless and start looking elsewhere for security

[–]spider_1337[S] 18 points19 points  (8 children) | Copy

Things really are this black and white huh?

[–]throwawaybpdnpd17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you’ve dated enough women, you know this is always true; AWALT

[–]DeatCoreBoy15 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think it's not that black and white. I had LTRs in the past, before finding out about TRP where I broke down several times and they were supportive. They even admitted that watching me "openly feeling" turned them on because I was so open with my emotions. All of these LTRs were ended by me when I got bored of them as they developped heavy ONEitis thowards me.

Now, bear in mind that this was all in Cuba and I guess girls are not so damaged there as there has not been so much influence from mainstream media.

Now I'm in Argentina and, so far, things with girls got very monochromatic in this regard, so, again... it depends.

[–]frankreyes4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Now I'm in Argentina

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm from Argentina.

[–]DeatCoreBoy13 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hahaha lol! The u know what I'm talking about. Feminism here has messed up every girl I know.

[–]frankreyes2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have to adapt your game, but AWALT. I know this ultra-feminist pink hair girl that she's always talking how hot guys are, that guy is so hot and her girlfriend is not really that hot. They just want a free pass to have sex without taking responsibility.

[–]muddynips2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Every human experience is a convoluted mess of drives. Men are no different in that respect.

The thing that matters is which drives take precedence over others. In the case of women, attraction is reduced as empathy is prioritized. It’s not that they don’t empathize as all, they just can’t do both.

It’s not black and white, but it might as well be when the result is the same either way.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The thing that matters is which drives take precedence over others. In the case of women, attraction is reduced as empathy is prioritized. It’s not that they don’t empathize as all, they just can’t do both.

Whoa! This is a new insight, to me, being put this way. Thanks.

[–]LLL3peat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. My strong man is broken. Unless you use it as a position of strength and keep moving forward, not dwelling in it, she will slowly resent you and swing.

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I only ONCE broke down when talking about my toxic parents....

Next thing you know, 2 weeks later she’s already branch swinging; telling me the time I broke down is when her attraction turned all off

Trust me on that, keep it all in if you have to talk about it then hire a therapist or talk to your close MALE friends; you can’t show weakness otherwise women feel defenseless and start looking elsewhere for security

This reminds me of one of those ubiquitous detective shows that I saw on TV in the early 60s. There was this tough gangster, with one of his molls. He broke down, crying, saying how much he needed her. While he was spilling his guts, with his head down, her face was looking more and more aghast and horrified.

Did she branch swing? Sort of...she put him on the spot to get knocked off.

[–]throwawaybpdnpd4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

At the time I didn’t see it...

But after learning about TRP and applying, I started to view everything from a different angle.

The next day she became cold and distant, 72h started being negative and impatient, 144h in she was always angry and belittling, then complete cut-off and avoidance (that was when she finally swinged I believe)

I was so angry/frustrated, thinking she was the worst person in the world; then I realized AWALT by reading TRP and then looking around me for similar situations

The moment you break down in front of her, attraction drops for at least 75%.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Point awarded. Thanks for your input.

[–]Chad173874 points75 points  (7 children) | Copy

“I don’t really like sharing my current emotional status or even talking about shit like that because even though i do feel and experience just like everyone else i don’t really like to open up like that at all.”

You answered your own question. Women say they want you to open up. What they mean is tell them interesting stuff about you, not share your feelings. Women don’t really care about you at the end of the day. They just want what you have to offer = high value and the life that comes with it.

[–]spider_1337[S] 21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy

That sounds pretty RP tbh. You’re saying they never had a beginning interest at all and just ask as a sort of courtesy? I guess its easier anyways for the both of us if i just change the direction of the conversation towards interesting stuff

[–]Chad173816 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women are dumb. They don’t know what they want, much less what they are attracted to. We give you the tools here to know what they really want and are attracted to and give it to them. They will ask you and tell you all sorts of things, you just need to be smarter and be able to know what is appropriate to say and how to say it. TRP has all the info you need to get where you want to be. Keep reading the sidebar.

[–]Rav_the_slav5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This, there's been a great post I've read some time ago, can't really be bothered to look for it now. It basically states that men are doomed to keep their emotions in because it IS expected from us and that's our cross we have to carry. And all those idiots that try to hate us for being so "stone cold" would hate us even more if we were to actually let our emotions go.

[–]youcantstopmyzed4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

and if you open up they will use it against you. especially high school / college girls. I did it once and she used it against me, I, never did it again. furthermore why would you ever open up to a girl? you want sex from her and that should be it. open up to your close friends. opening up to a girl ESPECIALLY in high school and college makes absolutely no sense and you gain NOTHING. she will use it against you or branch swing cause she thinks you're weak.

high school and college are fuck fests. there is no room for feelings. if you want to open up go to therapy or meet your close guy friends.

[–]ddiogenesofsinope6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

A red pill a day keeps the blue pill away...

[–]Atheist_Utopia3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

...and the black pill at bay...

[–]red_philosopher14 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy

I have a working theory that it's a lot about how you are handling it, and not how you are feeling.

[–]spider_1337[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Whats the theory so far?

[–]red_philosopher26 points27 points  (3 children) | Copy

Basically, it's not your emotions that they are interested in. It is far to the contrary. They don't care if you have been traumatized or abused, or stressed out, or what have you. When they want you to "open up", they want to see if you are capable of rationally processing your problems and capable of handling them.

It's a shit test. And not one that can be passed with the usual deflection of A and A.

I've seen women start branch swinging the moment their men break down in front of them, when, if they instead showed fortitude, they'd still stick around. It shows weakness when a man breaks down.

That's why TRP essentially states to never reveal your weakness. However, like many things in TRP, it has to do more with how things are presented rather than what.

[–]Ihatemoi8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

You could feel like shit when being fired from your work, but showing her you are find a solution in a very stoic, calm and optimistic disposition.

Or... you could just become a crying baby, worried son of a bitch and she could just dump the shit out of you.

[–]SillyHorn14 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think this is a pretty solid theory you’ve got here makes sense

[–]shredzro0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You summarized it. Well done.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy

No.

Next question.

[–]EosMermaidGoddess13 points14 points  (10 children) | Copy

23 RPW here..

It depends on your relationship to the woman. If youre in a "spinning plates" mode then no. Just fuck her and go home. Dont make her think youre more serious than you are.

But if you're in a real relationship with someone then yes, absolutely its ok to confide in her if and when you feel comfortable. If youre married though, expect your boundaries to be pushed. Being married isnt always comfortable and being more honest and open makes you a better person.

These "men" saying women dont care about you sound like MGTOW losers. Only feminist retard women dont know what they want. Dont get me wrong- we do want to get a man on the highest point of the hierarchy that we can reach but once a good woman has that shes going to stay. Womens sexuality also has a lot more to do with mental/emotional well being than just physical alone but please stay fit and clean...nobody wants to suck a smelly dick on a fat and ugly guy.

Edit- Im sorry to the guys that have opened up to someone and had it go wrong. Those "women" sound like useless trash.

I dont want a guy that cries over miniscule crap. But crying every now and then when something big happens is reasonable and welcome. my man cannot cry as much as i do... women need stability! its a double standard but its also just biology. our hormones are different so we cry more! sorry!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

They’re saying that because we’ve all experienced the disgust a woman feels toward us when we open up and reveal our vulnerabilites. The consensus seems to be that yes, you can open up, but in moderation and not in a self-pitying “oh poor me” type of way.

[–]EosMermaidGoddess5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Where the hell do you guys find these garbage women?
The women Im friends with are red pill women... I cant handle feminist trash girls so I cant relate/wouldnt know.

Yeah, cry if its something serious. I want my man to open up when hes stressed but I couldnt deal with a little bitch that cries as much as I do. He has to be able to balance things out, I cant imagine if we both had the water works everytime something went wrong 😅

[–]WalterHuey1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have a question for you! I have depression and suicidal thoughts that goes in cycles. Probably have cyclothymic (lighter bipolar). When i am in the depression and suicidal state, i really feel i want to talk about it with a girl etc. But never done it because i am scared she will lose interest in me. What do you think about it?

[–]EosMermaidGoddess1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Honestly I'd reccomend doing anything and everything you can to fight for yourself before commiting to a woman because what we really need most from a man is stability.

I would first of all- ensure you get all of your vitamin levels up- especially vitamin D. Remember to take vitamin K to make sure your body absorbs the vitamin D. Foods with vitamin D- salmon, mushrooms and vitamin enriched foods like yogurt. Vitamin K- the only one I know off my head is broccoli. Also take niacin and boron, you can find a supplement that has these in them. If you dont believe me then go ahead and research the issues of being deficient in these and the benefits of taking them. Ex, "Niacin for depression"

Secondly- excercise. You need to release those "happy chemicals". Excercise has been proven again and again to help fight depression. Dont talk yourself out of it you have to talk yourself into it. Tell yourself you'll feel better afterwards (you will!). Not to mention your self confidence will increase. I feel like a bad ass when I go to the gym and lift more than last time.

Oh and also hygiene... I know a lot of times when people are depressed they will neglect to do basic things like shower. Take a damn shower. You will just have to force yourself

Above anything, make sure you are taking care of yourself first. When you find someone its ok to talk about it but when she offers to do things like go on walks with you- you have to actually do it.

I know it's hard when you're depressed but the things that are worth doing in life usually are.

Sorry, I know its a tough pill to swallow but its true. You have to take care of yourself first, it isnt easy- it will be hard- but you have to force yourself to do things to help yourself and it will be worth the investment. If you do these things, you will thank me later.

Edit- I'd like to add that Im not some kind of expert in mental illness and these things likely wont "cure" you if you have a legitimate chemical imbalance but they will help you be in a better state than you are right now. I'm simply a "red pilled" woman thats in a stable relationship and has a solid understanding of what women need and desire. Stability is the top thing we want. We're looking for someone to raise a family with and how can we do that with someone we view as a cry baby? Its okay to vent sometimes just dont ball your fucking eyes out then act shocked when she doesnt wanna suck your dick often. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[–]WalterHuey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks!

Well I am taking care of myself. I does not matter If i am depressed or not, i have my vitamns, i exersice 6 Times per week, Always shower and well groomed.

[–]Alec9350 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Right on the money.

[–]CheesyStravinsky3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Indeed. The advice only works for like one night stands or very limited interactions.

[–]showerdudes9 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Yet again a prime example of that RP men needs to ignore your words and look at your actions. See all the comments where the women lost sexual attraction to men who opened up/displayed a moment of weakness because of things like their parents died? Sure you do need emotional rollercoasters to be entertained in a relationship, but that doesn't include your man showing weakness and opening up in that way that you *think* you want him to (but you really, really dont, its a death sentence to the relationship and to your attraction towards him)

[–]EosMermaidGoddess3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

If something like that happens and the women doesnt show empathy, then shes not a real women. Shes a pathetic bitch. Dont waste your time on those.

I wouldnt want a guy that cries over say- the car battery dies and we have to buy a new one. But if the entire car bursts into flames then go for it and cry. I just dont want a beta male that cries as much as I do.

Im pumped full of estrogen, I dont want a male that is too. I cant deal with someone that cries as much as I do. Yeah its a double standard but its because our hormones are different. Biology is crazy 😅

[–]Lambdal75 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are two ways you can go.

You are never vulnerable, hide all the weaknesses you have and never once are you allowed to slip up or show feelings. You have to take your life.

You are vulnerable, own your weaknesses, aren’t afraid of emotions and showing them.

The former will optimize for insecure women who need a strong man, because they are living in anxiety and they need someone to pretend that they know everything and will turn off confident women, because they can do that for themselves already and they are looking for a man who is authentic and doesn’t pretend.

The latter will optimize for confident women and turn off insecure women.

That being said, don’t tell her your life story within the first 5 minutes. Very few women are very confident, but also very few are very insecure. 80% are at the medium level of confidence and they require a man to be vulnerable, showing emotions and owning weaknesses.

[–]FlyingSexistPig3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just ask her more questions. When she says, "How was your day?", what she really means is "Ask me about my day".

When she tells you about crap that happened, ask her how it made her feel.

[–]boredrandomguy6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never. They see it as a weakness and will use anything you tell them against you when you least expect it.

EDIT: I'd also like to mention that anything deeply personal/private you reveal will get passed onto her gossip circle.

[–]Irtotallynotrobot4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nope

women are information brokers. Anything you tell them they view as currency provided to them, that's why they think people who tell them stuff without getting something in return are suckers. When you open up, they just think you're an idiot for showing them your weak points. Then they start thinking about how vulnerable you are to other people and lose faith that you can protect and provide, that's when they leave.

[–]Imaginary_Historian4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you want, there's probably little harm in opening up a little to your mother, aunt, grandma, sister, or female cousin. Maybe an older female coworker. In other words, not anyone you are fucking or might want to fuck, as opening up is a one-way ticket to the friend zone.

[–]hugaddiction4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you have the upper hand, most of the time it doesn’t make a difference in my experience. Yes it’s unattractive, but it won’t scare off a girl that thinks she is blessed to be the one on your D.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you have the upper hand, most of the time it doesn’t make a difference in my experience. Yes it’s unattractive, but it won’t scare off a girl that thinks she is blessed to be the one on your D.

I think it's one of those things that they keep in their book of debits v credits. Maybe get away with it once, maybe twice if your credits (Buff, big dick, rich, handsome as fuck, etc...) are high enough, but, one day they're going to open up their books and look at the bottom line and say "Oh! What have we here?"

[–]OilyB2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is of course a middle road. Not talking about feelings because women can't handle them is like never riding a bike because you fell a couple of times.

Middle road is, yes, talking about your feelings BUT:

  • making sure you select a woman with a realistic view of masculinity!

  • making sure the easy to handle feelings outweigh the hard ones,

  • making sure you don't go too far in sharing (I sometimes tell my gf about my troubles but I make sure I've got a feasible plan and I tell her about it as well, so she doesn't have to worry about my problems),

  • making sure you don't come off as weak or needy (those stories you simply don't tell),

  • making sure she remains reverent to you, admiring you and above all, respecting you.

  • making sure your problems are always smaller than hers (or: her problems are always more or bigger than yours)

If you can bring yourself to attain this fine level of skill, talk is easy, it begets more intimacy and you don't lose her as quickly.

Just keep frame and maintain your dominant position.

[–]centaursg2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most of the comments are spot on .. one thing I would like to add- never ask this question to a women. More often than not they will say not all wowen are same and it's okay to break down or to share feelings..they say this only out of niceness not from a attarction/romance perspective

[–]187oddfuture2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

NO. They just use whatever you say against you down the road. Opening up is weakness, no matter whether you do it to men or women. The idea that you need to open up to be healthy is just gynocentric brainwashing. Accept and come to terms with your emotions in private and move on with your day.

[–]grizzer991 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Opened up to my ex about a few really traumatic experiences. She used them against me in our breakup so I'm smarter now about who I open up to. I really only open up to family now and close female friends

[–]solstone1091 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends on the woman, is she a plate? If so than she ain't learning shit. If you have a LTR than you need to open up to strengthen the long term bond with her. If you can't open up to a LTR, it'll make her hamster run but not for the better, she'll leave for whatever reason she comes up with.

[–]magx011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sure if you want her to break up with you.

[–]LilLoserFreny1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, don’t tbh.

[–]bluefingerblue1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Would you open up to your children about your emotional problems? Hell no. They want to see you as unflappable. Same thing with women.

If you absolutely must, you can open up about problems to an extent — but the key is you have to frame it positively. In other words, frame it in a way that makes you seem like you have it under control, and you have a plan to handle it accordingly.

[–]red_matrix1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nope. You’re her rock.

[–]LongDongLondonDon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends on what "opening up" is. Essentially, do not ever complain, beg or cry in front of a woman. Stoicism is great for this.

[–]AstuteBlackMan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've heard the only time where its understandable is basically during a death. But even then I've seen posts where a dudes parent dies and they cry or get emotional (which understandably makes sense) and their LTR chick ends of getting turned off by it.

[–]Hyper_Sonik1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never. Read up on stoicism. Being the Rock. The oak tree.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You break frame, emotionally swayed by them.

[–]thrwy754791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Opening up is to establish a better connection with her, it's not about becoming a mess and needing her to support you. It's about telling her that you can feel sadness, and some of the darker emotions.

For instance, in a serious tone, "Yeah, I was sad when my grandmother died," and then switch the topic to death, in general, or ask her about what makes her sad, or what's the worst she's ever felt, etc. You turn it around on her, and let her do the feeling.

When she's testing you with this, it's to see if she can feel safe enough to breakdown in front of you. If you breakdown, she won't be free to do that, and will actually resent you for it because she's aware that this is a weakness in her.

Thus, it's not about actually feeling the dark emotions, and absolutely not about doing that in front of them.

Anecdotally, I know of one elderly married couple where the wife, from time to time, still tries to tell her husband that it's okay to cry, or asks him if he's ever felt like crying. He's never done it—at least not in front of her—and they've been married for over 40 years.

[–]Hardwire61 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

my man , dont open up to anyone you dont see yourself with as a friend or partner with as it will be completely useless to open up to people as most of them ase liars and fakes no matter how good they may seem . if you see yourself as a friend or a partener with this girl , sure open up with her . if not , then dont let her know as much as you know about yourself.

[–]RuleTheOne1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can say so much on this topic. But it was one of the most unaware choices that I made - it's not a good idea to open up. Depending on the kind of woman you're dealing with - it is usually a no-go unfortunately.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can talk abstractly about things that sucked (but you handled them like a boss, because you are awesome).

Always hide pain.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Any genuine pain that indicates a weaker position in life is a big no no. It can only breed contempt/disgust in your trending downward stock.

If she says you don’t open up about your feelings etc. that’s a shit test, she wants you to tell her if your value is dropping so she can know to whether it’s time to back a different horse.

Guys in love will always ignore this advice til after the break up

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she says you don’t open up about your feelings etc. that’s a shit test, she wants you to tell her if your value is dropping so she can know to whether it’s time to back a different horse.

Yeah, I once had a bitch do this to me. This was in the 80s, when all of the psuedo psychological shit about 'no man is an island', 'real men share their feelings', etc...was in it's heyday. She said something to me like "You never let me know what you're feeling." I spilled my guts, on one subject. No response. I said "Well?" No response. "Well??" She said "Nobody told you to spill your guts." Hmmm...

[–]Obnoxiousjimmyjames1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. Sometimes it’s useful. I can be very honest/open and often it doesn’t make me vulnerable, it’s empowering. The trick is to communicate authentic emotions BUT manage them.
Example: if you’re upset, say “I’m upset right now.” But don’t punch the wall and throw a tantrum. Maintain control. Every time I have shared feelings, the woman has responded in a positive way, and I often level up their attraction because of it; Women want some semblance of “humanity” not a fucking robot & you will stand out to her against all the other men she knows who don’t share that part of themselves. Also bear in mind, timing. Only share in an intimate setting, with privacy. And Do NOT overshare.

[–]Gruss_p1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, that is whole problem, you can't never be truly comfortable around your gf. She will never be your life companion.

[–]wanderer7791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can do whatever you want. But you're kinda creating work for yourself in the form of extra shit tests, or worse.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

There was a post recently about a girl having an alpha chad, tall, muscular, succesful, and how she was very in love and fucked like rabbits, and then the guy confessed he was raped when he was a child, and she lost all attraction to him. Keep your mouth shut.

[–]1KirthWGersen1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man, I have done the same. It depends how you frame it. "That happened to me, but it doesn't matter now," shows that you can overcome adversity. But yeah, don't into details, save that for close guy friends. Women really don't want to know. Same with my girl friends who have been raped. They want you to acknowledge it, change their emotional state and move on. Nothing good comes from dwelling on things.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's generally not a good idea to open up about anything you're struggling with. Women want to see you as a stable rock in their life.

But opening up about how good you feel about her is not a bad thing and that is generally what they're looking for when they ask you to open up.

If you feel like you're struggling with emotional issues, then talk to a good male friend or a therapist. Women normally don't want to hear that shit. Not even your own mother.

[–]civilizedfrog1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why do you need to open up to women? It is better if you open up to your bros.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why do you need to open up to women? It is better if you open up to your bros.

Even then, do it extremely sparingly, as in "not more than twice in your whole life." I believed in the 'you can tell your bros your troubles' bullshit all of my life, until I actually did it. LOL. They'll treat you just like a woman will! Except, they will think that since you are such a faggot, your woman must now be fair game...

They don't want to hear it either. They have lives and children. Jobs. Dreams that do not include babying you. Right in the middle of you pouring your heart out, you'll hear "Hey, bro, I'm with you...but, I have to go pick up the kids..."

There is some mystical power in keeping your troubles to yourself. Maybe not mystical at all, just so rare that it seems mystical. It makes you into a man-your own man.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

WTF would you?

Actually, it is OK to do whatever you want, this is America. But, read TRP and find out why it would be not in your interest to pursue this course.

[–]Thor-Loki-11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If a parent dies, or something similarly emotionally impacting.

If you want to detail stuff after the fact, that's fine. You can, and should, share your good times--not for validation, but to let her see your life being awesome.

Keeping the bullshit below the surface is what you should be doing.

[–]WIA20XX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you open up, you can lose the chick. It is what it is.

But if a chick is ready to lose you for some b.s., so you have to edit yourself - then you aren't the alpha, she is. Mouth breathers don't get that, and basically have the pussy on a pedestal. If I'm mad, I'm mad. If I'm sad I'm sad. If the broad disappoints me, she disappoints. If she finds out, and bounces, good.

That's not what is happening here.

In your particular situation, she's bullying you.

This is a real shit test not like "aren't you too old to be at club" or the corny stuff I see guys post about.

The girl is saying,

"If you don't communicate the way I want you to, I'm going to make your life hell."

If the sexes were reversed, this would be called manipulation, if not abuse.

Now she probably didn't do this consciously, but if you let her define the terms, she will dictate the relationship. Because if you start trying to reach her with your emotions, and doing it for her, it's over.

[–]xNinja361 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Opening up to a woman will dry her pussy up so fast and your value will go down. If a family member dies that different

[–]imtheoneimmortal1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If I’m fucking happy or excited because it was good week it’s good

But something negative I prefer saying to my friend.

[–]WayneNolting1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's a trap. Tell your guy friends.

[–]thatguyhanzel0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Only if you knew how badly I wish I knew this 3 years ago....

[–]WayneNolting1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

10, 15, or 20 for me. Lol.

[–]SeasonedRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, it's not, and don't take advice on the subject from women.

[–]spartan_samurai1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Try to open up once and you can see your value and frame going down in her eyes within few months. Then you will promise yourself not to do this mistake ever again. Most women want a man who can be the rock in relationship but not vice versa.

[–]z2a1-91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never.

[–]laserdicks1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Of course it is! You'll just never fuck that woman and anything you tell her is now public knowledge. This may be manageable for you or it might not - depending on the content or the context.

[–]rockyp321 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bruh animals do that shit when they lose somebody even the alpha animals will express their sadness when they lose a loved one it’s normal but we’ve been conditioned to view it as weak so When you do express the woman will see you that way

[–]NextForever1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It really boils down to your level of intimacy with her and how you go about expressing yourself, there is far too much nuance and circumstantial variables to give you a clear answer.

As a general rule, I personally advocate not complaining about aspects of existence that are beyond your control. It is counter productive and not enjoyable for most.

[–]hugaddiction1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Meh, if your SMV > her SMV, she isn’t going anywhere. People tolerate a lot of garbage if they get emotionally attached or think their partner can do better. Men and women both. My example applies to guys dating down more so than having an equal partner.

[–]Prysefighter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No! YOU BURY IT

[–]amwfhunter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It depends I open to my sister about problems and some close female friends. They are like my bros anyways.

But u mean with respect to women you are fucking.

I have a plate whom I console my problems to and I also consult with my ex wife. They both usually give me pretty good advice esp my ex wife. She knows what makes me tick anyways. It just depends on your relationship with them. They still have yet to leave my side.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I guess not

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

:/

[–]SimplyFishOil0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah if you consider her a friend and not just a fuck buddy

[–]jenovajunkie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, they say that men should be more open about their feelings, but they don't care. They'll use whatever they can get their hands on against you when the time comes to it.

It's all a game to them, so I don't trust them.

[–]Rapp56010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yea I wouldn't do it. You really have nothing to gain from telling them. My last girlfriend would rant on about how she tried to kill herself because her parents broke up. Thinking it was appropriate to do so I told her how three of my best friends died in a car crash the year previous and that I watched my cousin get crushed under a car earlier that year. She just brushed off what i said and continued to talk about herself.



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