A man with no back bone
There once was a man with no backbone. He went through life as a puddle of meat and flesh. Never ever really able to stand up for himself. Never able to lift the heavy things in life. He was constantly stepped on and walked over. His face and body were dirty with the footsteps of other people.
He decided he wanted a change. So he found the best option he knew he could find. A broomstick. He took that broomstick and thinking to himself, “It’s not a backbone but surely it’s better than not having one at all!” He shoved that broomstick up his ass so far that it went up to the base of his head. It hurt like hell but for the first time ever he could stand up and walk upright.
He started to go through his new life with his new found back bone. At first it was awkward. He looked like he had a stick up his ass. He lurched and wobbled. He was stiff and inflexible. But eventually he began to move a little better. He was able to navigate and move through life a little better each day. He noticed that he wasn’t dirty anymore; people couldn’t walk on him when he was standing up.
Eventually he got pretty good with that stick up his ass. He could lift weights, he could run, he even got a bully to back down. Slowly but surely his back had grown strong and robust. A new backbone had grown around that broomstick. In fact it was stronger than the broomstick and he started to go through life like he always had a backbone.
“What do I need this broomstick for?” He wondered. So one day, with great strength and conviction, he ripped it out of his ass. You know what happened? Nothing. He stood strong and tall, because his new backbone was stronger than the fake one he made.
I don’t know where I first read this, so credit to the author. This is why you fake it till you make it. It will teach you the ways of walking upright and standing up for yourself until you develop the habits you need to do it without thought.
[–]UEMcGillMarried- MRP MODERATOR[S,M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link
Here's a little piece I wrote on NMMNG, but it may apply to you noobs...
[–]SteelToeShitKicker7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Lesson learned: To be strong you need a stick in your ass.
[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Gigddy
[–]Cloudy_PirateDREAD Pirate Roberts5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Nice write-up. But let’s be honest here. I think what u/UEMcGill really wants is “Broomstick up the ass” flair. :)
[–]UEMcGillMarried- MRP MODERATOR[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
You got it.
[–]rAFCdadHUSBAND0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Shall we put it through at 50 votes?
[–]Eminencemiddle0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Why, you may ask, is the "broomstick up the ass" flair not 50 points ahead?
[–]redwall922 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm going to need more lube for this to work...
[–]dkirkpatr0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
No one said it was going to be easy
[–]KznRob0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn was thought for a second the post title was not metaphorical lol