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I tried faking high value, at the end I hit it hard. I just realized it

Reddit View
March 2, 2019
151 upvotes

Up until I was 19 I had almost no friends and never had any social encounter at all, never.

I learn about TRP, joined a gym, learned social basics, etc, I felt good.

I joined college last year, was having the time of my life, I felt awesome cause I had found TRP and was for the first time I remember skinny. I was meeting friends everywhere, striking up conversations everywhere, meeting girls, was having a blast.

A couple weeks in I had my ever first girl in love with me, she was DM'ing me left and right, she was super down for it. I kinda realized it but at the same time I was like 'nah man, this is too easy, this cant be it' but I kept playing my cards.

Then we had a movie meetup with her and a few mutual friends and lo and behold without me even realizing we were in my dorm room and she was in my bed, putting on a movie.

This was the first time reality hit me, I portrayed the high value male up until here but this was the ultimate test, I failed it miserably. I pussied out and didnt make a move. She lost interest in me and dropped me.

From this point onward until now, I had hit a wall but couldnt explain what happened, why did I pussy out? It was so easy, what happened? So I just kept trying to figure why it happened

After a year of surfing the waves of partying and having fun and studying but never approaching a girl cause I was afraid the same thing would happen I had a blast but always with that thought of being a virgin always present in the back of my head.

Conclusion:

After all this time I fnally realized, I have been faking high value instead of actually internalizing it. Now I realize that learning that girls dont really love you, just the feeling you give them. And that life isnt the beta dream I always was thinking it was is just hitting me hard.

Bottom point is, how can I really get high value? Im at the gym getting gains, im going to fix my teeth, got a dope haircut, bla bla, but this is only external. What can I do for the internal? Every word that comes out of my mouth is searching for validation, every time. I always say things that make me the guy on top of the world, and people get tired of talking to me because of this and I dont even realize it. What can I do about it?


Post Information
Title I tried faking high value, at the end I hit it hard. I just realized it
Author PotatoWatt
Upvotes 151
Comments 102
Date 02 March 2019 06:10 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/220553
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/awkh83/i_tried_faking_high_value_at_the_end_i_hit_it/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betathe red pill
Comments

[–]AwakenedSovereign248 points249 points  (58 children) | Copy

The "Loud Monkey" attribute is a good thing. Talking over people, talking about how you're on top of the world, etc. are all DHVs. They establish value.

You need to learn nuance so it doesn't become too annoying for your friends and people you meet. And also so that it sounds casual and effortless, just part of who you are - not trying to impress anyone.

About Inner Game - which is the sort of Confidence you feel in your bones.

This for me was just a matter of experience and time. I'm on year 4 now of TRP. I've seen some shit let's put it that way.

At first the world can feel like to much. Can't keep up can't compete, too many Chad's, too many odds stacked against you, too much to learn and do and not enough time.

When it finally clicked for me was watching a nature documentary. (2nd time referenced nature today)

What it was were these Kenyan mountain goats. They can climb anything and live in Africa on top of vertical mountains.

The male goats grow horns and compete (fight) for access to females. Most either die or spend their entire lives fighting for scraps until they are broken down and then die.

The Alpha goats, though, eventually eat so much and fight so much and get so big that other goats stop fucking with it. Bad plan when the Alpha goat can rip you in half like it's no problem.

Of course, the females follow this alpha goat around all day long desperate to fuck him and be protected by him.

Here's the lesson.

You build yourself up, one step at a time, day by day. Whatever needs built. Everyone has dues to pay.

Some guys need to get fit. Others need to make money. Others just need some experience to improve their game.

Doesn't matter really in the end what you're working on. What matters is that you ARE working. And you don't stop.

One day you walk into the club, look around and realize that 99% of the guys in there couldn't fuck with you if they tried. Because you built it up.

Because most men are so hopelessly beta and weak that the idea of "working" like this as a lifestyle is impossible to them.

And then you eat their grass, boss them around, and fuck their bitches.

Before enlightenment, chop Wood & carry Water. After enlightenment, chop Wood & carry Water.

[–]hopscotchking20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mods, please sticky for this is all gold.

[–]CodyCodeine10 points11 points  (26 children) | Copy

Talking over people? Seems like an aspergers thing...

[–]reddit309 1 points [recovered]  (23 children) | Copy

i was thinking the same thing lol wtf.

a girl would have to be ridiculously immature to be attracted to a guy that consistently talks over people but i guess they all ARE lmao.

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (18 children) | Copy

Yeah. It’s tough man. I’m attracted to maturity and youth. Unfortunately mutually exclusive I guess

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

How do you get so many comments out so fast homieboy

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Quick typing and insomnia oldman

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Codeine cunt sock ass homo fag bitch

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Super clever... I’ve noticed you’ve been attacking a lot of people that disagree with your butt stuff fetish... Would a secure person go creeping on everyone who disagrees with his fetish?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Would a secure person go creeping on everyone who disagrees with his fetish?

Nah, I’m a mentally unstable sexual deviant like the rest of Reddit.

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

It’s a sign that you might be in the closet, and that scares you. Not everyone’s into butt stuff. I did anal once with a woman and I hated it

[–]reddit309 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy

saaaame. it is tough but i do think there are some good ones.

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Some. The 8-10s snag em up tho. Rightfully so

[–]reddit309 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

yeah. i am going to work my ass off to be one of those guys no matter what.

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

In what ways? I’m more focused on having money and pursuing hobbies than I am in working out and trying to impress women

[–]reddit309 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Looks maxing and working towards getting a good income upon graduation

Lifting and looks maxing isn't just about women, it changes your entire world. Anything you do to improve your LOOKS, is actually improving your HEALTH. The halo effect. People view you differently when you look good. Don't think you shouldn't lift because you don't care about impressing women.

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I agree, but I just can’t get myself to do it. Your first thought: “excuses”. Maybe so, but depression does make this extremely difficult and mines been getting worse and worse as is my life... You keep doing you. Keep grinding. Maybe I’ll join you if I make it out of this shit for longer than a couple of weeks at a time

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Excuse that reply. I just wanted to see your perspective

[–]thanusall0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If I hadn’t seen it in real life I’d agree. Women are fucking stupid

[–]reddit309 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

i guess its more to do with the guys smv than his behavior. if hes hot he can do absolutely anything and girls will still be attracted to him. i think this has very little to do with behaviors as much as SMV. i guess i disagree with a lot of RP.

[–]thanusall0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As you should.

It’s a black and red pill imo.

[–]ColdSetting 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Also realize the power you want HIM want to be shitty game.

[–]CodyCodeine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re a bit hard to understand

[–]trpboy1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Where can I learn about this loud monkey attribute? Duckduckgo is showing me toys

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

my dude, thanks. You really helped me understand. What I need to do is, take more action. Go and fail to the point where I fail so much I start connecting the dots and this experience is what will change my mindset, along with hard work of gym routines, clean eating, good discipline, and constant improving will make me someone that is on top without even caring about any hierarchy.

[–]AwakenedSovereign2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes to all of that, but also add in these:

Hobbies Social Circles Family Career Purpose/Calling/Mission

All of these can be worked on the same way you work on a ripped physique. It's a whole package kinda Enterprise.

Good luck & have fun my brother

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire21 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Ha, I posted about mountain goats months ago, and NOBODY on here gave a shit.

It's literally, the one alpha male fucks ALL the female goats, and he becomes alpha by defeating all challengers in single combat by butting heads on dangerous cliffs for hours at a time.

Human civilization allows many ways of becoming alpha, and you have your whole life to improve in any number of ways.

[–]AwakenedSovereign2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Lol I've posted comments just as good as this one with 3 upvotes, social media is weird like that.

I love taking examples from nature because it somehow explains why things are the way they are. Like we evolved on a planet trying to murder us every step of the way no fucking wonder we are what we are.

And accepting that animal nature in yourself is liberating - and also brings you into a closer kinship with the natural world.

One of the biggest mistakes we have made as a society in general is putting up so many barriers between us and nature. How are you supposed to know where you fit in a 100% made up world?

Anyways end monologue. Be the Alpha goat

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire21 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well, the elite like to be close to nature, to remind themselves of their role as apex predators. It's the rest of the people who have been herded into artificial environments and separated from nature, the better to control them.

[–]AwakenedSovereign0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Primitive camping and hiking has been on the lost for too long, it seems.

Makes sense. Its kind of astounding at this point how ingrained the "system" really is. Where is the rebellion? Where's the purging of old, decayed bullshit? TRP is a personal answer but not a macro one.

Maybe it's just meant to be this way and the option is choosing whether to be asleep or awake. I've learned over time many just cannot and do not wish to be saved.

"I'm sorry. We have a rule. We never free a mind after a certain age. It's dangerous, the mind has trouble letting go." ~ Morpheus

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire21 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Update:

Remember the rams?

Well, the wolves also have it rough:

  1. Not gross, or anything, but funny... this alpha male is mating with his alpha female, and all the other lesser wolves keep trying to horn in on his action and he has to bare his teeth to drive them away... It makes frat-house cock-blocking look like no big deal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPd7EDjR6eI

  1. A lone wolf stalks a pack for a mating opportunity with a young female wolf; the alphas don't want the younger wolves to mate because it will mean more mouths to feed, so they will actively interfere in mating attempts. Plus, when wolves mate, they lock together for 30 minutes. So, in this case, they are discovered, and the Sigma lone wolf is chased away by the Alpha... lololol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAkfazw0aAo

Money quote: "He has no territory of his own, but he follows the pack, scavenging, looking for opportunities..." God, how many guys does this describe. No real social circle, but they have to survive the best they can, living off the scraps of more well-connected groups of people.

[–]AwakenedSovereign1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ouch. Just described me with that Sigma shit. I need to work on my social circles :/

But first... Mexico. Not like they could follow me anyways.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol

[–]OfficerWade0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Piece of cake....

[–]AwakenedSovereign2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes a thing can be simple to understand but difficult to actually execute/deliver.

This is the path, and believe it or not, it isn't any more complicated than that. Be in the top 10%. Most people get there through Effort, Ambition, and Hard Ass Work.

So yeah, it might be hard. There will be pain. Loss. Wasted time. Confusion. And growth. Priceless memories.

And it will be worth it in the end.

[–]dtyler860 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Love the info and insight. But really though, I wanna learn more about these boss ass alpha goats. What are they called?

[–]AwakenedSovereign1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I forget. Pretty sure it was from Planet Earth II. Google that shit ya foo

[–]dtyler860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I dun googled it, cuh

[–]kal5643-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

100%

[–]Dumweight-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Church

[–]kylerosa21-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent response

[–]damaged_goods420-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Preach

[–]PubicSalad 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

Sounds like you are just having issues socializing effectively.

- Most importantly PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT, take up hobbies that will force you to interact with other people. They will have similar interests with you so it should be very easy to talk about relevant/interesting things. Example, boxing you can help each other with techniques and what your partner is doing wrong (obviously not if u know jack shit about it) or a recent boxing match.

- Ever heard of the term "think before you say" because that helps a lot. No one wants to hear about your life, ask questions, talk about the environment around you, or better yet than small talk contribute something actually interesting and relevant to the conversation if you think u can handle it.

- Instead of telling how your life is amazing, show it by talking about funny stories or things that have happened abroad or where ever . This is an indirect way of saying what your life is about and like from the things you get up too.

- Other things that could help is the way you talk. Talk in a calm, relaxed tone instead of being frantic higher pitched.

- You say "internally" but body language is a very important role in socializing. "actions speak louder than words" which is very true. If you portray yourself as a high valued individual people will give a shit about what u are saying.

- Eye contact is usually what initiates conversations with a "hey" then a "insert something relevant to the environment around you comment" If there is no eye contact you are off their radar and they are not interested so you should not bother with them, there loss! This goes for talking to men and women.

- A way to stop seeking validation is to have things and people going on in your life. Keep busy and u will not give a shit about what others will think.

I cannot believe I just explained how to talk to people for someone.

Hope this helped.

[–]MrAnderzon4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you for typing that up for people who don't know how to talk to people.

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I notice a lot I always look weird in pics and my body language is always off to the point where it looks unnatural, I cant set a 'normal' body language, the only time I got a sort of natural body language is when im sort of drunk, or im really having a good time, but when I notice my body language and my face like when someone goes to take a pic and says smile I put on a fake smile or something it really comes off weird, I look weird. I dont know how to fix this. I think its because im caring too much and trying to hard and it comes off as unnatural. Opinions?

The way I talk, indeed I talk way to fast to the point where sometimes people dont even understand me, the other day I came out of the gym and I just had this aura of see if I give a fuck, common try me. And I went to grab dinner and I just spoke in such a low calm voice that I noticed the girl behind the counter was acting weird, and even I noticed like oh shit my voice is dope, but after I noticed it, it just went back to it 'regular' self and I noticed the girl just dropped the interest she was showing in a flash

[–]PubicSalad 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

- U don't have to smile when someone tells u to smile for a picture. Read the environment and act in a manner suitable for it.

- If at a party its probably going to be natural to smile like u said because you don't care from being drunk and not really thinking about your actions.

- If it feels forced it will look forced. A default face with a little frown is somewhat more attractive than smiling to females (scientifically proven) giving off that bad boy feel. If u do not understand then look it up! I'm sure there are lots of photos on the internet.

- For body language all you need to do is subtly have your chin up, shoulders back and a hand/hands out of your pockets to show that you are not being effected by the environment and that u are a man who is in control. Someone mother nature cannot even phase. Just don't over do it as I expect you know otherwise you will look like robo cop.

- Someday you will naturally develop that "swagger walk" and be completely comfortable in your surroundings which people will notice and will know that you are a confident person.

-When talking your voice will be relaxed when your body and mind is relaxed. If not relaxed you will need fake it until u make it. Again just don't over do it otherwise it will sound forced. It should sound similar to how you would talk to a close friend.

- So if you find comfort in your environment then you will look and sound comfortable and in control.

Hope this helped

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, to get the 'good posture' fixed I need to hit the weight room, which I am doing now. For the first time I went to the gym 3 times a week for a full month but every time im there im actually pushing myself instead of just 'meh' lifting.

In terms of comfort, I have some extremely UGLY ass glasses since middle school, I never cared about them but recently I learned about the halo effect and since my glasses are weird blue and nerdy it categorizes me as nerdy. This plus my extremely crooked teeth make my facial appearence kinda weird and it works against me (in regards of my teeth I have to get 6 teeth out to get braces properly, only 2 remaining which should be done in the next couple of months, after this its braces in), this also affects my confidence but even with all of this as you read I still got girls IOIing me cause of my style and kinda outgoing style sometimes, but since I got no experience I failed in practise but honestly I feel that next time it happens I will be able to close easily and finally lose my virginity, this failed experiences plus all the help I got from TRP and the shit that went through my head I feel that im goddamn ready for next time.

[–]shredzro12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

Read “The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism”

Literally covers how to change your mentality. It helps CEOs and shit. Best Buy of my life.

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Will do, thanks

[–]wanderer77921 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're overthinking this one incident and acting like it defines you. "oh no, I thought I made a bunch of progress but now I need to go meditate on a mountain and develop 'inner game'". Fuck that. It's one girl, one moment, it means nothing. Just keep doing what you were doing and next time you get there you will escalate and get it done.

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thing is dude, I know. It was the second only girl I ever dated, I never got so far with a girl. Honestly, I feel like you say I just know that next time imma go like 'nah nah nah, she wants the d just go for it I aint going to go away not knowing again like last time' and I feel that I will be able to do it, and I gained experience it was still a kinda win situation but it could have gotten so more far, she was hot and she was into me and we had so much in common and it would have been a nice experience for me, and I fucked it up and this is drilling into my brain because I got a scarcity mindset, since I dont know any more options as close as she was I feel down because of it

[–]wanderer7790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

just stop thinking/talking about it and move on. It really doesn't matter.

[–]NeuroBoss316 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

The problem here is you are trying to become successful/get laid/get jacked/look good/have money/have status/be smart/ be charismatic/ to get OTHERS people approval rather than your just your own.

I'm disagreeing with all the answers saying that it's about continually working on 'self-improvement". That's bullshit if your mindset is still to find other people's approval rather than your own. Self improvement is a necessary but not sufficient condition for self fullfilment and realization.

[–]Auphor_Phaksache6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone values something different. So to say "high value" would be determined the specific person. But if you want a solid base line, intelligent, efficient and physically fit. Read, have a skill, look like you don't get your ass kicked all day.

[–]CodyCodeine8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

Dude, drink some whiskey when she’s on your bed. You can’t puss out after a talk with uncle jack

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Even when im drunk at college parties I cant approach girls. Or guys. Im afraid of leaving my comfort zone. This is it, nothing else. I didnt close cause I was afraid. I knew I could have closed, I knew it. But deep down, closing meant leaving my comfort zone. And im afraid of doing so.

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I relate brother. I only lost my virginity thanks to tinder and Jack Daniels. Both women were a ONS though. I’ve had many women interested in me, but would always sabotage it due to my confidence issues. Gotta thank my rocky childhood for that. It’s not easy. I feel you.

You had her in your bed though. You have nothing to fear, especially when drunk. I don’t even like drinking, but I require it to leave my comfort zone in any way. My second time (1st time was incredibly strange and didn’t feel right), I invited a hot girl over. I pregamed a lot, got her in the bed with a movie on, and almost immediately said “take your shirt off”. Not smooth at all and pretty cringe, but it worked.

I’m not telling you this to brag. I’m telling you this because I feel that you and me are very similar. Alcohol helps you not care. You’ll cringe the next day and for the rest of your life, but the job will get done. You will cross that finish line. When you do, use a condom. I stupidly have never used one

Edit: I saw that you said even while drunk at college parties. Even when drunk, I can’t attempt romance at a party. You might fair better in a 1 on 1 situation. I always fail at parties. They make me too anxious for even alcohol to make me pretend I’m the shit for a night.

[–]ColdSetting 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

And it may be the only disabled fuck hereI must have been through this.

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Think of it like the gym. You won't get fit on the day you step in the gym for the first time. You put in the work in the gym and your physical value builds over time.

If you haven't been approaching girls, talking to them, physically escalated, banged them, you're just like someone who never stepped in a gym. You can't expect that it'll be natural the first time.

You're building value, not faking it. You've just been neglecting some crucial muscles to train.

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In my case, I went to the gym for 6 months half assing it, skipping weeks and exercises, I lost weight because I was eating right but I gained minimal muscle and got skinny fat. I stopped the gym for 1 year, going once a month or so just to say I go to the gym. 1 month and so ago I decided enough is enough, its time to man up. I have for the first time being going to the gym for the 5th week in a row, everytime im there I give my best, I practise the best posture and I push myself. Just last week I was going to start a exercise for triceps and I started doing it and I was like wtf this shit is light as fuck, I must have put the wrong weights lo and behold I didnt and then it meant I had to increase my load, even if just a little bit, I was in awe of myself. I finally managed to get some gainz.

After this I cant miss out my 3 days a week gym routine, I love it. My protein shakes, lifting heavy, seeing the buff dudes and dudettes sweating, the vibe, I love it.

Like you said, in this case, until I havent been doing it for long I cant expect to be a natural. But the thing is, im 21 and I feel like im missing out on sex, im missing out on girls, im missing out on college sex life (I party, I got friends but no pussy), I feel like im missing out socially. I feel that somethings wrong with me for failing a easy lay like that, she got into my room 3 times and we watched netflix. IT WAS OBVIOUS. You are right that next time I guarantee I will know what to do. I never got as far with a girl like this one but I fucking guarantee you that next girl that puts her ass in my dorm room im making a move.

I see what you mean in building value, its true, I improved myself a lot and learned with this failure, but I almost never approached a girl. The one time I did it this year was on class and it ended up with this girl in my bed 3 times. I mean, I just realized it, my first approach was a sucess..... Oh shit....

It shouldnt really phase me, but im happy it is hurting me everytime I think about what happened, it makes me remember it so next time it happens imma be like 'oh shit, lemme make a move or imma be depressed af' and boom imma do it.

I see what you mean. I understood it, you just clicked my brain. Since instead of learning girls I was learning league of legends during my teen years until I was 19, now at 21 im grasping the how to, I neglected the muscle of closing thinking it was easy and now look what happened, so now I need to train it instead of neglecting it and then keep working. Eventually I will reach a point of where every muscle is nicely built and then it will come natural to me. The only fear I have is this taking too long and I miss out on life like I feel that I am now.

What can I do about this? Also, thanks a lot. Your simple example really helped me click and feel that failure is required to improve. Like in the gym, I failed hard for a year until now i've for the first time felt what hard work on the gym is and what it rewards. Thanks.

[–]rockyp324 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Men and woman both like eachother for the feeling they give them. If it was like how you said then mothers wouldn’t love their kids if they’re being assholes but they still do. If you have enough of a good connection with a girl I don’t think they’ll drop you after one bad situation if they do then they don’t really care.

[–]50shadesofsigma1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The problem is you were using the red pill as a means to an end. a beta end. Dont worry, your're not the first guy to try that. Use trp to become alpha and make sure you have removed all beta tendencies or you will be exposed the minute a pretty girl looks in your direction.

[–]WayneNolting1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Find things that you like to do that make you happy, when no one else is around. Make time for yourself.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

how can I really get high value

from reading your post you seem to care about others too much - YOU NEED TO CARE ABOUT YOU - Pursue your dreams and love your self so you need less

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thing is dude, I kinda know this. But how can I really change my head to this?

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s a process. You’ll have bad days and constant battles, but each time you catch yourself beginning to care what others think, ask yourself “why do I care what somebody who doesn’t know my story thinks?” Every time you manage to counter these kind of thoughts, you get stronger. Keep fighting buddy. I believe in you. Fuck them. You do you relentlessly. We’re in it together

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

This was the first time reality hit me, I portrayed the high value male up until here but this was the ultimate test, I failed it miserably. I pussied out and didnt make a move. She lost interest in me and dropped me.

Dude, we have ALL been there. Don't worry. You fuck up some but as long as you learn and progress you'll be allllrrright!

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I know that and I guarantee you that it was a learning experience by far, next time it happens I WILL MAKE A MOVE. This I guarantee you. But the problem here is that since I dont know when the next time will come with a chick hot as this, im feeling depressed knowing I lost a easy kill and im still a virgin. This could have been my ticket out and the last piece of the puzzle. Yet I didnt manage to grab it. This feeling makes me VERY depressed to the point where I dont do shit days on end...

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh man does this hit home :/. It gets better if you can make yourself try every once in a while. The depression makes it hard, but you need to take advantage of occasional times you’re out of the tunnel and really challenge yourself. You know this, I’m just trying to let you know I’ve been there and it hurts deeply. I’ve got your back

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah you have that virgin anxiety, maybe get a less attractive girl to lose it to. Because you'll have all this unneeded pressure on you to preform.

[–]onewayroute1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If youve been practicing trp up to this point then its just a matter of an obstacle and slaying chicks should be looked at nothing else except another test. Reflect on ur achievements and internalize that as motivation for u to make more moves. Lookup 5 second rule by mel robbins.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

So you had her giving every indication possible that she wants you to 50 shades of grey her into the next dimension... and you couldn’t do it?

Was it cause you had too much respect for her? Was it your nerves? As you had limited experience? Surely you’ve seen some porn before?

I don’t get it, you should have got her clothes off and taken her doggy style to start things off, (and don’t forget to spark her)

You fell into nice guy zone, once in there its just easier to move on to the next girl

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You dont say? Why do you think im here asking for help, if I was able to do it I would just do it dude, I know what to do, I know she wanted it, she knows I knew she wanted it, and still I didnt do it. The why is what im trying to figure out, honestly I think its all a matter of action, since she was the second even girl I dated and the first one to get so far I overthinked way to much and fucked it up, honestly I feel like I know what to expect now and what to do next time, I feel like I needed a slap like losing a easy girl like this to really wake me up

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It appears to me, like you secretly have a fear of moving forward. Moving further out of your comfort zone and trying again. Approaching. When you get to the point of fear, you sit and dwell on some past event. 'Oh, if I have just done that thing earlier, or gotten off my ass, or acted like this, then everything would be flying now'.

You need to sake the fuck up, accept where you're at, and do what you know you need to do to move forward. You also care way too fucking much what other's think. You do all their thinking for them. You need to kill that noise, and think with abundance. For every woman who rejects you, there will be a thousand who will want your company. Maybe it will take a few rejections, maybe it'll take some adjustments here and there. You won't know what those adjustments are, until you start taking the leaps.

Have some faith, and trust. You know more than enough of the theory. You will be surprised how when you try a few times, you will instantly know afterwards what to adjust, you'll adjust, and boom.

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So true, this is the way I feel. I know more than enough of the theory indeed, at least a year of reading TRP and watching TRP videos daily. I know it, I help my friends and it works. I just am afraid of closing. Of getting out there, its true. Im afraid of leaving my comfort zone. I do do the thinking for others, I do care about validation way to much. I want to fix this. But how?

Also, I guarantee you that it was a learning experience by far, next time it happens I WILL MAKE A MOVE. This I guarantee you. But the problem here is that since I dont know when the next time will come with a chick hot as this, im feeling depressed knowing I lost a easy kill and im still a virgin. This could have been my ticket out and the last piece of the puzzle. Yet I didnt manage to grab it. This feeling makes me VERY depressed to the point where I dont do shit days on end...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Speak less and keep working. You are doing fine.

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sort of. I guarantee you that it was a learning experience by far, next time it happens I WILL MAKE A MOVE. This I guarantee you. But the problem here is that since I dont know when the next time will come with a chick hot as this, im feeling depressed knowing I lost a easy kill and im still a virgin. This could have been my ticket out and the last piece of the puzzle. Yet I didnt manage to grab it. This feeling makes me VERY depressed to the point where I dont do shit days on end...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You didn't miss that much.

You are making a big deal out of the single strongest biological drive in a human being.

It wasn't time. Get a grip.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Men age like fine wine.

[–]IWantAllYourMoney 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

not an automatic process though.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Anything worth having requires effort and a lot of patience.

[–]reddit309 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

high SMV isnt just lifting.

Looks Money Status

Looks: lifting is super important keep doing that, search up the looks maxing guide on reddit, lots more to it than just lifting

Money: hows your GPA? are you working? got an internship for the summer yet?

Status: you are doing fine socializing, not much else a college kid can do yet, money kinda equals status

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Looks: Im lifting properly, just a matter of time now. In a week im going to change my EXTREMELY ugly glasses. In a a couple of months im having braces in to fix my crooked ass teeth. Im setting up a nice beard.

Money: Dont know what GPA is, im in a european country. Im taking a 5 year degree on computer engineering, this degree pays extremely well so imma be set for the job world.

Status: I got good friends, I got parties easily, I get girls IOIs, what im missing is the other part of the world. This part is closure. Im afraid of closing. Dont know why. This girl was obvious down and I didnt close. I know that I guarantee you that it was a learning experience by far, next time it happens I WILL MAKE A MOVE. This I guarantee you. But the problem here is that since I dont know when the next time will come with a chick hot as this, im feeling depressed knowing I lost a easy kill and im still a virgin. This could have been my ticket out and the last piece of the puzzle. Yet I didnt manage to grab it. This feeling makes me VERY depressed to the point where I dont do shit days on end...

[–]menial_optimist0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

From this point onward until now, I had hit a wall but couldnt explain what happened, why did I pussy out?

Fear. You fundamentally believed she was not into you sexually. You feared that making a move would lead to certain rejection and thus, defeat and emasculation.

I've heard it said here and I'll repeat it, every failure is a learning experience, and from evidence gathered on TRP, even the highest level chads commonly have rejections and failures. You don't see those chads failing and only hear of their successes, so it's a common conclusion that they must get every girl they pursue. That is not reality.

Zoom out and gain some insight from this situation: I'm very new to RP and you seem to be too, so I'm not really one to give high level advice. But what I do know is there are certain covert and overt signs a girl is willing to fuck you, and having a blast, going to movie culminating in a secluded bedroom with a movie being put on is a near 100% chance she is willing to fuck you barring any extreme circumstances.

Now you will never know what might have happened with this particular girl which leads me to my favorite RP maxim: Rejection is preferable to regret.

[–]1PotatoWatt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly dude, this feeling that knowing that she was 100% down to fuck me, more than 10 times is what is making me feel less of a man. How could I not see it?

I know that I guarantee you that it was a learning experience by far, next time it happens I WILL MAKE A MOVE. This I guarantee you. But the problem here is that since I dont know when the next time will come with a chick hot as this, im feeling depressed knowing I lost a easy kill and im still a virgin. This could have been my ticket out and the last piece of the puzzle. Yet I didnt manage to grab it. This feeling makes me VERY depressed to the point where I dont do shit days on end...

[–]feedthecatcomics0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mental integrity takes time, but it comes from every thought you make. Practice meditation and make good choices and realize that your current mood is based on your outlook of life mixed with the succes you have at making good life choices.

[–]alphaperfect 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Lift

[–]NSPolaris 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Did you read the post or just the title

[–]cudder17-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

And eat a lot

[–]bonerpotpie-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Find something you love and do it. It’s easy to be confident and feel value in yourself if you are pursuing something you love that is a challenge. That way it’s natural and as a plus, you’ll naturally gain people that add value to your life.

[–]TehJimmyy-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you watch porn ? Anyway you will get it next time i am pretty sure because of your previous ecounter with that girl.

Good luck

[–]AceMav21-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get fucking shredded and dont give a fuck. That's what I'm doing.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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